Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas other believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the better solution to improve the environment whether just based on increasing taxes on various companies or the need of alternative methods. In my opinion, I firmly believe that the latter has more positive impacts on the environment rather than the former. This essay will outline my point of views and provide supporting arguments.
Granted, increasing taxes plays a vital role in protecting the environment. This is because if the authorities rise taxes on entrepreneurs, particularly products being unfriendly with the environment like nylon packages, plastic bottles, and the like, the price of goods will be more expensive, leading to diminishing consumption. Freshwater bottles, for example, are increased sharply in its price, making consumers tend to drink water at their homes or bring water from homes when traveling rather than purchasing water bottles at an unaffordable price. On the other hand, this approach might pose a huge threat to productive activities. Without an appropriate increase on taxes, it places burdens on companies, in resulting a reduction in the organization’s operation and loss available jobs for the workforce later on.
Increasing tax is one of the considered solutions, but it is not an adequacy to improve the environment. It requires alternative methods including enhancing resident’s awareness, encouraging people to protect the environment, punishing violations, having essential regulations and the like. Firstly, the government and the other the law discipline forces should hold numerous campaigns related to protecting the environment and encouraging residents to take part in these campaigns. Planting trees and recycling waste, for instance, are necessary activities, that the government should instimulate citizens participating in it. Secondly, trainning involving the environment should be implemented regularly in a wide range of the public spaces such as schools, parks, museums, supermakets and the like, which can contribute to broadening people’s cognitiveness of protecting the environment.
In conclusion, I am convinced that if the government only increase tax without the application of other solutions, it will have unintended consequences and side-effects. Because the comprehensive solutions brings positive impacts on improving the environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is a bit informal for academic writing. "Currently" maintains the temporal context in a more formal tone.
"the need of alternative methods" -> "the need for alternative methods"
Explanation: "The need for" is a more standard phrase to express the requirement for something.
"In my opinion, I firmly believe" -> "I firmly contend"
Explanation: The phrase "In my opinion" is often considered redundant in formal writing. "I firmly contend" maintains the assertion while sounding more academically appropriate.
"This essay will outline my point of views" -> "This essay will elucidate my viewpoints"
Explanation: "Outline my point of views" could be rephrased for clarity and formality. "Elucidate my viewpoints" offers a more refined way to express the essay’s purpose.
"Granted" -> "Admittedly"
Explanation: "Granted" is slightly informal; "Admittedly" retains the concessive nature in a more formal manner.
"Freshwater bottles, for example, are increased sharply in its price" -> "For instance, the price of bottled freshwater has substantially risen"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using a more formal tone by specifying the price increase.
"making consumers tend to drink water at their homes or bring water from homes" -> "leading consumers to opt for drinking tap water or carrying water from home"
Explanation: Replacing "making consumers tend to" with a more direct construction for smoother flow and formality.
"it places burdens on companies, in resulting a reduction in the organization’s operation" -> "imposing burdens on companies, consequently reducing their operational capacity"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for better flow and using "imposing" instead of "places burdens" for a more formal tone.
"Increasing tax is one of the considered solutions" -> "Tax escalation is among the proposed solutions"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to convey the idea in a more formal style.
"it is not an adequacy" -> "it is not sufficient"
Explanation: Replacing "adequacy" with "sufficient" for clearer and more standard language.
"having essential regulations and the like" -> "implementing crucial regulations and similar measures"
Explanation: Replacing "having essential regulations and the like" with a more direct and formal phrase for clarity.
"Planting trees and recycling waste, for instance, are necessary activities, that the government should instimulate citizens participating in it." -> "Activities such as tree planting and waste recycling are imperative. The government should encourage citizen participation in these endeavors."
Explanation: Rephrasing for clarity and coherence, using "endeavors" for a more formal term.
"Secondly, trainning involving the environment should be implemented regularly" -> "Secondly, environmental education programs should be regularly instituted"
Explanation: Replacing "trainning involving the environment" with "environmental education programs" for a more formal and precise expression.
"wide range of the public spaces such as schools, parks, museums, supermakets and the like" -> "various public spaces including schools, parks, museums, supermarkets, and similar locations"
Explanation: Reorganizing the sentence for clarity and using a more formal term like "various" instead of "wide range of."
"cognitiveness of protecting the environment" -> "awareness of environmental conservation"
Explanation: Using "awareness of environmental conservation" to replace "cognitiveness of protecting the environment" for a more formal and precise expression.
"Because the comprehensive solutions brings positive impacts on improving the environment." -> "Comprehensive solutions yield positive impacts on environmental improvement."
Explanation: Adjusting the sentence structure for better flow and using "yield" instead of "brings" for a more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the better solution to improve the environment whether just based on increasing taxes on various companies or the need of alternative methods. In my opinion, I firmly believe that the latter has more positive impacts on the environment rather than the former. This essay will outline my point of views and provide supporting arguments."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While your introduction successfully presents your opinion, it would be beneficial to provide a concise roadmap of the main points you intend to discuss in the essay. This helps guide the reader and enhances the overall structure. For instance, you can briefly mention the key alternative methods you will delve into.
- Improved example: "Nowadays, the environmental discourse centers around the efficacy of increasing taxes on industries versus exploring alternative methods. In this essay, I will advocate for the latter approach, citing examples of alternative methods such as raising awareness and implementing essential regulations."
Quoted text: "Without an appropriate increase on taxes, it places burdens on companies, in resulting a reduction in the organization’s operation and loss available jobs for the workforce later on."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This statement lacks clarity and precision. Specify how an inappropriate tax increase burdens companies and impacts jobs more explicitly. Provide concrete examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your point and strengthen your argument.
- Improved example: "Without a carefully calibrated tax increase, companies might face financial strain, potentially leading to downsizing and the subsequent loss of jobs for the workforce. For instance, industries heavily reliant on plastic production could experience setbacks, affecting employment opportunities."
Quoted text: "Increasing tax is one of the considered solutions, but it is not an adequacy to improve the environment. It requires alternative methods including enhancing resident’s awareness, encouraging people to protect the environment, punishing violations, having essential regulations and the like."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While you rightly emphasize the importance of alternative methods, the sentence structure is convoluted. Break down the list of alternative methods into distinct sentences for clarity and coherence. Additionally, provide specific examples or anecdotes to support your claim about the effectiveness of these alternative methods.
- Improved example: "While increasing taxes is a considered solution, it falls short of being adequate for environmental improvement. Alternative methods, such as raising resident awareness through campaigns, encouraging environmental protection, enforcing penalties for violations, and implementing essential regulations, offer more comprehensive approaches. For instance, campaigns promoting tree planting and waste recycling actively involve citizens in environmental conservation efforts."

Overall, your essay exhibits a clear position and attempts to support it with relevant examples. However, refining the clarity and specificity of your arguments will contribute to a more cohesive and convincing response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a coherent structure with a clear overall progression of ideas. The introduction provides an overview of the topic and the author’s opinion. Body paragraphs present arguments for both sides, and the conclusion reiterates the author’s stance. Cohesive devices are used effectively, although there are instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion within and between sentences. Paragraphing is generally logical, but there are moments when it could be improved for better flow.

How to improve:

Work on refining the use of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Ensure that referencing and substitution within the essay are clear and appropriate.
Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs, avoiding any instances of faulty cohesion.
Strive for consistency in paragraphing to enhance overall coherence. Consider revising paragraphs to improve logical organization.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. The use of less common lexical items is evident, and there is awareness of style and collocation. However, occasional errors in word choice and word formation are present, which prevent it from achieving a higher band score.

The essay effectively discusses the two perspectives on reducing pollution, utilizing a variety of vocabulary to convey the arguments. For instance, the author employs phrases such as "unfriendly with the environment," "diminishing consumption," and "an appropriate increase on taxes." These expressions contribute to the overall coherence of the essay and showcase a good understanding of vocabulary usage.

However, there are instances of less precise word choices and minor errors, such as "instimulate" instead of "stimulate," and some awkward phrasing like "loss available jobs." These issues, while not pervasive, slightly impact the overall lexical quality.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on refining word choice for increased precision and accuracy. Thorough proofreading to address minor errors in spelling and word formation is recommended. Additionally, the use of more sophisticated expressions and idiomatic phrases can elevate the lexical richness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There are instances of accurate language use, but there are also notable errors in grammar and punctuation that, while not severely impacting communication, are noticeable. The writer attempts to use a variety of structures but does not consistently maintain accuracy throughout the essay.

How to improve: To elevate the score, focus on improving the accuracy of complex sentence structures. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Additionally, strive for more consistent use of a wide range of structures. Proofread the essay carefully to catch and correct errors that may distract the reader from the overall message.

Bài sửa mẫu

Currently, there is an ongoing debate regarding the most effective approach to environmental improvement: solely relying on increased taxes on various industries or exploring alternative methods. In this essay, I will elucidate my viewpoints, firmly contending that alternative methods have more positive impacts on the environment than tax increases alone.

Admittedly, raising taxes plays a vital role in environmental protection. By imposing higher taxes on environmentally unfriendly products, such as nylon packages and plastic bottles, authorities can drive up prices, subsequently reducing consumer demand. For example, the substantial rise in the price of bottled freshwater has led consumers to opt for drinking tap water or carrying water from home, thereby diminishing the consumption of environmentally harmful goods. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that this approach may impose burdens on companies, subsequently reducing their operational capacity and potentially leading to job losses.

Tax escalation is among the proposed solutions, yet it is not sufficient on its own to improve the environment. Implementing crucial regulations and similar measures is imperative. Activities such as tree planting and waste recycling should be encouraged, with the government actively promoting citizen participation in these endeavors.

Moreover, environmental education programs should be regularly instituted in various public spaces, including schools, parks, museums, supermarkets, and similar locations. These programs aim to raise awareness of environmental conservation and broaden people’s understanding of the importance of protecting the environment.

In conclusion, while increasing taxes on industries is a viable solution, relying solely on this approach may have unintended consequences and side effects. Comprehensive solutions, involving citizen participation and environmental education, yield positive impacts on environmental improvement. Therefore, a multifaceted strategy that combines tax measures with alternative methods is essential for achieving meaningful and sustainable progress in environmental conservation.