Some people believe that many young people do not play sports because they are afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that the fear of losing discourages young people from engaging in playing sports, leading to the suggestion about prohibiting sports competitions. I totally disagree with this statement as for its numerous drawbacks.
To begin with, losing is a crucial role in young people's growing up process, which can help them to learn more lessons in life and become more mature. To illustrate, nobody can be successful if they are not faced with challenges once in life as failure provides them sources of their weaknesses that they can learn from experience, helping them to enhance their skills and provide them motivation to keep trying to achieve their goals. For example, to become a successful inventor and invent many wonderful items especially the light bulb, Thomas Edison needed to do experiment countless time as well as coping with countless losing and learned from the experience many times till the last one to successfully achieve the final result. Therefore, the activities contain the competitive such as sports competition should be encouraged to found as losing can help young people to analyze their shortcomings to improve and become more mature.
Furthermore, the fear of losing should be eradicated to make young people ready for many bad feelings and pressure in the future. To be more specific, losing is an inevitable part of life, and sports provide a safe space for young people to experience the disappointment feelings, training them to cope with it in more positive way instead of the pessimistic especially in the industrialization era, people need to suffer from many pressure of workloads and failure exclusively for the sciencetists or researchers, failure to endure and overcome the disappointments can lead to dire consequences such as suicide due to detrimental effect on the mental health.
In short, prohibiting sports competition to avoid the fear of losing of young people is totally unreasonable. The experience of coping with failure provides young people numerous benefits such as analyzing their shortcomings to improve, becoming more mature in the short term, and helping them to avoid many bad results in today's world. Therefore, competitive activities should be found instead of banned due to its advantages to young people.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some argue" -> "It is argued"
Explanation: "It is argued" is a more formal and impersonal way to introduce an argument, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more conversational "Some argue."
"leading to the suggestion about prohibiting" -> "resulting in the proposal to prohibit"
Explanation: "Resulting in the proposal to prohibit" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone by avoiding the vague and informal "leading to the suggestion about."
"I totally disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: "I strongly disagree" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "totally."
"as for its numerous drawbacks" -> "due to its numerous drawbacks"
Explanation: "Due to" is more precise and formal than "as for," which is somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"losing is a crucial role" -> "losing plays a crucial role"
Explanation: "Plays a crucial role" is grammatically correct and more formal, correcting the awkward and incorrect "is a crucial role."
"which can help them to learn more lessons in life" -> "which helps them learn valuable life lessons"
Explanation: "Helps them learn valuable life lessons" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"nobody can be successful if they are not faced with challenges once in life" -> "success is rarely achieved without facing challenges"
Explanation: "Success is rarely achieved without facing challenges" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express the idea, avoiding the conversational "nobody can be successful."
"do experiment countless time" -> "conduct countless experiments"
Explanation: "Conduct countless experiments" is grammatically correct and more formal, replacing the awkward and incorrect "do experiment countless time."
"coping with countless losing" -> "enduring numerous setbacks"
Explanation: "Enduring numerous setbacks" is more precise and formal, replacing the incorrect and informal "coping with countless losing."
"the activities contain the competitive such as sports competition" -> "activities involving competitive sports"
Explanation: "Activities involving competitive sports" is grammatically correct and more formal, replacing the awkward and incorrect "the activities contain the competitive such as sports competition."
"should be encouraged to found as losing" -> "should be encouraged as losing"
Explanation: Removing "to found" corrects the grammatical error and simplifies the phrase, making it more direct and formal.
"the fear of losing should be eradicated" -> "the fear of losing should be mitigated"
Explanation: "Mitigated" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "eradicated," which implies complete elimination, which may not be feasible or desirable in this context.
"make young people ready for many bad feelings and pressure" -> "prepare young people for various challenges and pressures"
Explanation: "Prepare young people for various challenges and pressures" is more formal and specific, replacing the vague and informal "many bad feelings and pressure."
"the disappointment feelings" -> "disappointment"
Explanation: "Disappointment" is the correct noun form, eliminating the unnecessary pluralization and awkward phrasing.
"in the industrialization era" -> "in the industrial era"
Explanation: "In the industrial era" is more precise and formal, avoiding the unnecessary "ization" suffix which is redundant in this context.
"failure to endure and overcome the disappointments" -> "inability to endure and overcome disappointments"
Explanation: "Inability to endure and overcome disappointments" is more formal and precise, replacing the less formal "failure to endure and overcome the disappointments."
"totally unreasonable" -> "completely unreasonable"
Explanation: "Completely unreasonable" is a more formal alternative to "totally," which is slightly less formal and more conversational.
"competitive activities should be found" -> "competitive activities should be fostered"
Explanation: "Fostered" is a more precise and formal term than "found," which is incorrect in this context and lacks the intended meaning.

Some people believe that many young people do not play sports because they are afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?