Some people believe that Newspapers are the best way to get news. Others believes people can rely on other effective media. Discuss 2 views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that Newspapers are the best way to get news. Others believes people can rely on other effective media. Discuss 2 views and give your own opinion.

It is an issue of controversy whether printed publications or other effective media can bring better qualified news to readers. While newspaper offer people several merits, I contend that media can play an instrumental role in transmitting information to others.

There is no room for doubt that today a large amount of people, especially the elderly, often attach the importance to traditional newspaper. This is because its information tend to be editored and checked thoroughly to verify its clarity, which enhance trustworthiness of the content. Besides, avid readers like to immerse themselves in turning pages and pages. Therefore, reading printed newspapers can create a favorable condition for them to get exposed to news. Another upside of traditional newspaper is its in-depth information. By dint of journalists, shocking news can make headlines by being presented in details in pursuit of high audience. Consequently, this can assist readers to have nuanced understanding of complex issues.

However, it is my contention that thanks to other media, people can stand a high chance of keeping abreast of up-to-date information. Firstly, online podcasts from truthful sources can reignite readers’ enthusiasm in getting news. Occupied people, who are incapable of allocating 20 or 30 minutes to read the entire newspaper, are likely to enjoy this new form. It is due to the fact that while they are doing personal activities, they can get exposed to up-to-the-minute news. Secondly, online newspaper might offer readers better experience than traditional newspapers. The former allows online readers to adjust brightness, size of fonts. It even has ample categories divided into main topics such as education, fashion or politics, which assist readers to seek for wanted information at ease.

In conclusion, while traditional newspapers have their merits, I am in favor of the fact that other media sources provide valuable alternatives for accessing news.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "newspaper" -> "newspapers"
    Explanation: "Newspaper" should be in its plural form "newspapers" to match the subject-verb agreement with the plural noun "offer" in the sentence.
  2. "offer people several merits" -> "offer several advantages to people"
    Explanation: "Merits" is less formal and precise than "advantages." Using "advantages to people" enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence.
  3. "the importance to traditional newspaper" -> "the importance of traditional newspapers"
    Explanation: "To" should be replaced with "of" to correctly indicate the relationship between "importance" and "traditional newspapers."
  4. "editored" -> "edited"
    Explanation: "Editored" is not a correct form. "Edited" is the appropriate past tense of the verb "edit."
  5. "verify its clarity" -> "ensure its clarity"
    Explanation: "Verify" suggests checking for accuracy rather than clarity. "Ensure" is more appropriate in this context as it indicates the action of making sure something is clear.
  6. "enhance trustworthiness of the content" -> "enhance the credibility of the content"
    Explanation: "Trustworthiness" is acceptable but "credibility" is more formal and commonly used in academic writing to describe the reliability of information.
  7. "avid readers like to immerse themselves in turning pages and pages" -> "enthusiastic readers enjoy immersing themselves in flipping through pages"
    Explanation: "Avid" is less formal than "enthusiastic." "Turning pages and pages" can be replaced with "flipping through pages" for better flow and clarity.
  8. "By dint of journalists" -> "Through the efforts of journalists"
    Explanation: "By dint of" is an uncommon phrase in academic writing. "Through the efforts of journalists" conveys the same meaning more clearly and formally.
  9. "shocking news can make headlines by being presented in details" -> "significant news stories can make headlines by being presented in detail"
    Explanation: "Shocking news" is vague and subjective. "Significant news stories" is more neutral and precise. "In details" should be "in detail" for grammatical accuracy.
  10. "thanks to other media" -> "owing to other media"
    Explanation: "Thanks to" is informal; "owing to" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
  11. "Occupied people" -> "Busy individuals"
    Explanation: "Occupied people" is less formal. "Busy individuals" is a more appropriate term in academic writing.
  12. "they can get exposed to up-to-the-minute news" -> "they can be exposed to up-to-the-minute news"
    Explanation: "Get exposed to" is slightly informal. Using "be exposed to" maintains formality and clarity.
  13. "online newspaper" -> "online newspapers"
    Explanation: "Online newspaper" should be plural to match the plural noun "newspapers" used elsewhere in the essay.
  14. "ample categories divided into main topics" -> "a wide range of categories organized into main topics"
    Explanation: "Ample" is slightly informal. "A wide range of" is more formal and precise. "Divided into" can be replaced with "organized into" for clarity and formality.
  15. "while traditional newspapers have their merits" -> "while traditional newspapers have their advantages"
    Explanation: "Merits" is less formal than "advantages." Using "advantages" enhances the formality of the sentence.
  16. "I am in favor of the fact that" -> "I support the notion that"
    Explanation: "In favor of the fact that" is wordy and less formal. "Support the notion that" is more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by discussing both perspectives (favoring newspapers and favoring other media) and providing the writer’s own opinion.
    • The writer discusses the advantages of newspapers, such as thorough editing and in-depth information, catering to the viewpoint that newspapers are the best way to get news.
    • Furthermore, the essay acknowledges the effectiveness of other media sources, such as online podcasts and online newspapers, in providing up-to-date information and convenience.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both viewpoints, it could strengthen its argumentation by providing more specific examples or data to support each perspective. Additionally, ensuring a more balanced presentation of both viewpoints could enhance the overall credibility of the essay.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. They begin by acknowledging the importance of newspapers but ultimately express a preference for other media sources.
    • The stance is maintained consistently, with the writer providing reasons and examples to support their position.
    • How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the writer could explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and conclusion paragraphs. Additionally, reinforcing the central argument throughout the body paragraphs can strengthen the coherence of the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas through relevant examples and reasoning.
    • Each paragraph discusses specific advantages of either newspapers or other media, supported by examples and explanations.
    • The ideas are extended through detailed explanations of how each media type contributes to news consumption.
    • How to improve: To enhance the depth of analysis, the writer could explore counterarguments or potential limitations of each media type. Additionally, incorporating additional evidence or statistics could strengthen the support for the presented ideas.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of comparing newspapers with other media sources for obtaining news.
    • The writer discusses various aspects of both newspapers and other media in relation to news consumption.
    • While some minor deviations occur, such as discussing the preferences of specific demographics, they are related to the central theme of the essay.
    • How to improve: To ensure complete focus, the writer could avoid tangential discussions and maintain a tighter connection between each point and its relevance to the main topic. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph directly contributes to the central argument can enhance coherence and relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that presents the two opposing views and the author’s opinion. The body paragraphs discuss each viewpoint separately, with the author providing arguments and examples for each. Finally, the conclusion restates the author’s opinion. However, there are some instances where the flow could be improved, such as the transition between discussing traditional newspapers and online media in the second body paragraph.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. In the second body paragraph, for example, consider starting with a clear transition statement to introduce the shift from discussing traditional newspapers to online media. This will help readers follow the progression of ideas more effectively.
  • Use Paragraphs:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into three distinct paragraphs: introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph serves its purpose effectively, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. However, the body paragraph could benefit from further subdivision into two paragraphs to separate the discussion of traditional newspapers and online media for clearer organization and emphasis.
    • How to improve: Divide the body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on traditional newspapers and another on online media. This will create a more organized structure and allow for a more focused discussion of each viewpoint.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transition words like "while," "besides," "firstly," and "secondly," which help signal shifts between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this," "it") and conjunctions ("however") are used effectively to link sentences and maintain cohesion throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: Continue to utilize cohesive devices effectively to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and repetition of key terms, to further enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they are used strategically to connect related ideas and strengthen the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, incorporating words such as "controversy," "merits," "trustworthiness," "avid," "immerse," "nuanced," "occupied," "enthusiasm," "up-to-the-minute," "ample," and "alternatives," among others. These words contribute to the overall lexical richness of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay does utilize a diverse vocabulary, there is still room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. Incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as specific terms related to journalism, different types of media, or nuanced descriptors for the advantages and disadvantages discussed, could elevate the lexical range further.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. For example, terms like "trustworthiness," "enthusiasm," and "up-to-the-minute" are used appropriately to articulate specific ideas related to news consumption and media preferences.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, consider replacing general or overused terms with more specific and contextually relevant vocabulary. Additionally, pay close attention to word choice to ensure that each term accurately reflects the intended meaning and contributes to the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with only minor errors observed (e.g., "editored" instead of "edited"). Overall, spelling accuracy is satisfactory and does not significantly detract from the readability or comprehension of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, consider employing strategies such as thorough proofreading, utilizing spell-checking tools, and practicing spelling in context through regular writing exercises. Additionally, paying attention to common spelling patterns and irregularities can help reinforce correct spelling habits over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally proficient command of sentence structures. There is evidence of varied sentence types, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the essay includes complex sentences like "It is an issue of controversy whether printed publications or other effective media can bring better qualified news to readers," which show the ability to use subordinate clauses effectively to present complex ideas. However, while there is a variety, some structures could be further diversified to enhance overall coherence and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To further enhance grammatical range and sophistication, consider incorporating a broader range of sentence types, such as conditional sentences, passive constructions, or more complex noun phrases. This can add depth and variety to your writing, contributing to a higher band score.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good grasp of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and inconsistencies that slightly affect clarity. For example, "there is no room for doubt" should be "there is no room for doubt that," and "information tend" should be "information tends." Additionally, some sentences could benefit from clearer punctuation to improve readability.
    • How to improve: To improve accuracy, focus on consistent subject-verb agreement and proper use of singular/plural forms. Review the rules for article usage and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision. Consider proofreading your work carefully to identify and correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and accuracy, with room for refinement in sentence variety and precise grammatical execution. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refine grammatical accuracy, you can aim for an even higher band score in this criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate over whether newspapers or other forms of media provide better news quality persists. While newspapers offer certain advantages, I argue that alternative media can also effectively disseminate information.

Undoubtedly, many individuals, particularly the elderly, still value traditional newspapers. This preference stems from the thorough editing and fact-checking processes that enhance the credibility of printed news. Moreover, the tactile experience of flipping through pages appeals to avid readers, facilitating their engagement with the news. Additionally, newspapers often delve deep into topics, providing comprehensive coverage that aids readers in gaining a nuanced understanding of complex issues.

However, I contend that alternative media platforms play a significant role in keeping people informed. Online podcasts, for instance, offer a convenient way for busy individuals to stay updated on current events. Unlike traditional newspapers, which require dedicated reading time, podcasts allow listeners to multitask while staying informed. Furthermore, online newspapers provide enhanced user experiences, with features such as adjustable brightness and font size catering to individual preferences. Moreover, the categorization of news topics facilitates easy navigation, enabling readers to find relevant information effortlessly.

In conclusion, while traditional newspapers have their merits, I believe that alternative media sources offer valuable alternatives for accessing news.

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