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Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary landscape, a debate persists regarding the paramount influence on the world—scientists or politicians. While some argue that scientists wield the greatest impact due to their contributions to knowledge and innovation, others contend that politicians, through policy-making and governance, hold the key to global influence. In my opinion, I believe both these influencers have an important role to play in today's world.
On one hand, proponents of the scientific community's influence argue that breakthroughs in technology, medicine, and environmental research shape the trajectory of humanity. Scientists pioneer discoveries that enhance our understanding of the world, alleviate suffering, and provide solutions to pressing issues. For instance, advancements in renewable energy technologies offer hope in combating climate change, a challenge that transcends national borders.
On the other hand, advocates for the supremacy of politicians posit that governance and policy decisions fundamentally mold societies. Politicians, through legislation and international relations, have the power to address global crises, allocate resources, and establish frameworks for cooperation. Diplomatic endeavors, trade agreements, and peace treaties exemplify the profound impact politicians can have on shaping the world stage.
In my view, while both scientists and politicians contribute significantly to global progress, their influence is interdependent. Scientific advancements need political support for implementation, and political decisions benefit greatly from the guidance of scientific knowledge. The synergy between these realms fosters comprehensive solutions to complex issues.
In conclusion, the question of whether scientists or politicians wield a greater influence on the world is multifaceted. While scientists drive progress through innovation, politicians navigate the intricate web of governance. Ultimately, a harmonious collaboration between these spheres is essential for addressing the multifaceted challenges facing humanity in the 21st century.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In my opinion, I believe both these influencers have an important role to play in today’s world."
    -> "In my view, both these influencers play a crucial role in today’s world."
    Explanation: "In my opinion, I believe" is redundant and somewhat informal. Simplifying it to "In my view" and restructuring the sentence enhances its formality and conciseness without altering the intended meaning.

  2. "On one hand, proponents of the scientific community’s influence argue that breakthroughs in technology, medicine, and environmental research shape the trajectory of humanity."
    -> "On one hand, proponents of the scientific community argue that breakthroughs in technology, medicine, and environmental research shape the trajectory of humanity."
    Explanation: The possessive form "scientific community’s influence" can be simplified to "scientific community" without changing the meaning. This alteration maintains clarity and removes unnecessary phrasing.

  3. "For instance, advancements in renewable energy technologies offer hope in combating climate change, a challenge that transcends national borders."
    -> "For instance, advancements in renewable energy technologies offer hope for addressing climate change, a challenge that transcends national borders."
    Explanation: Altering "in combating" to "for addressing" provides a clearer and more formal expression while maintaining the intended sense of purpose.

  4. "On the other hand, advocates for the supremacy of politicians posit that governance and policy decisions fundamentally mold societies."
    -> "On the other hand, proponents advocating for the supremacy of politicians posit that governance and policy decisions fundamentally mold societies."
    Explanation: Using "advocates" instead of "advocates for" and expanding "advocates" to "proponents advocating" adds precision and formality to the sentence.

  5. "In my view, while both scientists and politicians contribute significantly to global progress, their influence is interdependent."
    -> "In my perspective, although both scientists and politicians contribute significantly to global progress, their influence is interdependent."
    Explanation: Replacing "In my view, while" with "In my perspective, although" provides a more academic transition and conveys a similar meaning.

  6. "The synergy between these realms fosters comprehensive solutions to complex issues."
    -> "The synergy between these domains fosters comprehensive solutions to complex issues."
    Explanation: Substituting "realms" with "domains" maintains the context while using a more precise term that aligns with a formal tone.

  7. "Ultimately, a harmonious collaboration between these spheres is essential for addressing the multifaceted challenges facing humanity in the 21st century."
    -> "Ultimately, a harmonious collaboration among these spheres is essential for addressing the multifaceted challenges confronting humanity in the 21st century."
    Explanation: Replacing "between" with "among" and changing "facing" to "confronting" improves the formality and accuracy of the statement.

These alterations help refine the text, making it more appropriate for an academic setting without compromising its clarity or coherence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In my opinion, I believe both these influencers have an important role to play in today’s world."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s opinion, but it could be strengthened by providing a brief roadmap of the main points to be discussed. This would enhance the overall clarity and structure of the essay, aiding the reader in following the argument.
    • Improved example: "In my opinion, I believe both scientists and politicians play crucial roles in shaping today’s world. In this essay, I will explore the significant impact of scientists in driving innovation and knowledge, followed by an examination of the influential role politicians play through governance and policy decisions."
  2. Quoted text: "On one hand, proponents of the scientific community’s influence argue that breakthroughs in technology, medicine, and environmental research shape the trajectory of humanity."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph effectively discusses the impact of scientists on technology, medicine, and environmental research. However, to enhance clarity, specific examples and real-world applications of these breakthroughs would provide a more vivid illustration of their influence.
    • Improved example: "On one hand, proponents of the scientific community’s influence argue that breakthroughs in technology, such as the development of renewable energy sources, medical advancements like vaccines, and environmental research addressing climate change, profoundly shape the trajectory of humanity."
  3. Quoted text: "In my view, while both scientists and politicians contribute significantly to global progress, their influence is interdependent."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The writer effectively presents a balanced view, but the reasoning behind the interdependence of scientists and politicians could be elaborated further. Providing specific examples where scientific advancements needed political support or vice versa would add depth to the argument.
    • Improved example: "In my view, while both scientists and politicians contribute significantly to global progress, their influence is interdependent. For instance, scientific advancements like international agreements on climate change require political support for effective implementation, showcasing the symbiotic relationship between these two realms."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic with well-developed ideas. However, refining the introduction for a clearer roadmap and providing more specific examples to support arguments would further enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong ability to sequence information and ideas logically. The introduction effectively presents the two views, and each subsequent paragraph develops a clear argument supporting either scientists or politicians. The use of cohesive devices is skillful, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The essay maintains a clear progression throughout, and the central topic of each paragraph is well-defined. Additionally, the essay effectively explores the interdependence of scientists and politicians, showcasing a nuanced understanding of the topic.

How to improve: While the essay is well-organized, there is room for improvement in the conclusion. Consider providing a more explicit summary of the main points discussed in the body paragraphs and reinforcing the idea of interdependence between scientists and politicians. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to enhance overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, with a fluency and flexibility that convey precise meanings. The writer skillfully incorporates uncommon lexical items, contributing to the sophistication of the essay. While there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, they do not significantly detract from the overall lexical control. The spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with rare errors that can be considered as minor slips.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource further, the writer can focus on consistently choosing the most fitting and contextually appropriate words. Paying meticulous attention to word choice and ensuring that all lexical items align seamlessly with the essay’s tone and purpose will help eliminate the occasional inaccuracies. Additionally, varied sentence structures and expressions could be explored to elevate the fluency and flexibility of the essay’s vocabulary even more.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a wide range of sentence structures with overall flexibility and accuracy. The writer effectively employs complex structures to convey ideas, contributing to a sophisticated and nuanced discussion. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional minor errors, which can be considered as ‘slips’. The writer showcases good control of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay.

How to improve: While the essay is strong, a few instances of slight improvement could be achieved by carefully proofreading for any remaining minor errors. Additionally, varying the complexity of sentence structures even more could add further depth to the essay. Overall, maintaining the high standard of grammatical accuracy and range will ensure consistent excellence.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, an ongoing debate surrounds the primary influence on our planet—scientists or politicians. Some argue that scientists hold the greatest sway due to their contributions to knowledge and innovation, while others believe that politicians, through policy-making and governance, possess the key to global influence. In my opinion, I believe both these influencers play crucial roles in today’s world.

On one hand, supporters of the scientific community’s influence assert that breakthroughs in technology, medicine, and environmental research shape the course of humanity. Scientists make discoveries that enhance our understanding of the world, alleviate suffering, and offer solutions to pressing issues. For instance, advancements in renewable energy technologies provide hope in addressing climate change, a challenge that goes beyond national borders.

On the other hand, advocates for the supremacy of politicians argue that governance and policy decisions fundamentally mold societies. Politicians, through legislation and international relations, have the power to tackle global crises, allocate resources, and establish frameworks for cooperation. Diplomatic efforts, trade agreements, and peace treaties exemplify the profound impact politicians can have on shaping the world stage.

In my view, while both scientists and politicians significantly contribute to global progress, their influence is interdependent. Scientific advancements require political support for implementation, and political decisions benefit greatly from the guidance of scientific knowledge. The synergy between these realms fosters comprehensive solutions to complex issues.

In conclusion, the question of whether scientists or politicians wield a greater influence on the world is multifaceted. While scientists propel progress through innovation, politicians navigate the intricate web of governance. Ultimately, a harmonious collaboration between these spheres is essential for addressing the multifaceted challenges facing humanity in the 21st century.

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