Some people believe that teachers should assign a lot of rework for students whereas others believe that they should focus on completing academic work during the school day. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that an abundant of homework should be assigned for stunderts, while others believe that teachers should help them complete the academic one in school. This writer agrees with the latter sentiment as students need time for self-study for their family and hobbies.

It is vital to understand that self-study is an essential part of a student. Every student needs – to consider their weaknesses, therefore, they can manage a plan to enhance themselves. Otherwise, if teachers assign too much home work for students, they will not have enough time to look back their work, as well as breaking their plan. There is a research that people with better self-study skill will gain more opportunities to promote.

However, many people argue that students will be lazy if teachers don't assign homework for them. This belief is based on the fact that many students just do homework to deal with their teachers. Nonetheless, students must be taught to be responsible for their study and their future.

Another key factor is that schoolchildren should spend more time on their family and hobbies. Family and hobbies play an essential role in developing children's personality. Furthermore, they also need time to regain energy after a hard day in school. It is recognized that students study more effective after spending time for family and their hobbies.

In conclusion, teachers should complete academic work with students during school day since it gives student time for self-study, family and hobbles. This essay has demonstrated that students shouldn't be assigned a lot of homework.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"an abundant of homework" -> "an adequate amount of homework"
Explanation: "An abundant of" is grammatically incorrect. "An adequate amount of" is the correct phrase, which is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"stunderts" -> "students"
Explanation: "Stunderts" is a typographical error and not a recognized word. Correcting it to "students" ensures accuracy and clarity.
"academic one" -> "academic work"
Explanation: "Academic one" is vague and incorrect. "Academic work" is the correct term, providing clarity and specificity.
"need time for self-study for their family and hobbies" -> "require time for self-study, as well as time for their family and hobbies"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and unclear. The revised version clarifies the purpose of the time needed, improving readability and flow.
"Every student needs – to consider their weaknesses" -> "Every student needs to identify their weaknesses"
Explanation: The dash and the verb "needs" are incorrectly used. "Identify" is a more precise verb for academic writing, and the sentence structure is corrected for clarity.
"manage a plan to enhance themselves" -> "develop a plan to improve themselves"
Explanation: "Enhance" is somewhat vague in this context; "improve" is more specific and appropriate for academic language.
"home work" -> "homework"
Explanation: "Home work" is a typographical error. "Homework" is the correct term.
"look back their work" -> "review their work"
Explanation: "Look back their work" is informal and unclear. "Review their work" is the correct term and is more formal.
"breaking their plan" -> "disrupt their plan"
Explanation: "Breaking" is too informal and vague; "disrupt" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.
"people with better self-study skill" -> "individuals with better self-study skills"
Explanation: "Skill" should be plural to match the context, and "individuals" is more formal than "people."
"will gain more opportunities to promote" -> "will gain more opportunities for advancement"
Explanation: "Promote" is too vague and informal; "advancement" is more specific and appropriate for academic contexts.
"students will be lazy if teachers don’t assign homework for them" -> "students may become complacent if teachers do not assign homework"
Explanation: "Lazy" is too informal and judgmental; "complacent" is more neutral and academically appropriate. Also, "do not assign" is more formal than "don’t assign."
"just do homework to deal with their teachers" -> "complete homework solely to fulfill their obligations to teachers"
Explanation: "Just do homework to deal with their teachers" is informal and vague. The revised phrase is more precise and formal.
"schoolchildren should spend more time on their family and hobbies" -> "schoolchildren should allocate more time to their family and hobbies"
Explanation: "Spend more time on" is informal; "allocate more time to" is more precise and formal.
"regain energy after a hard day in school" -> "replenish their energy after a challenging day at school"
Explanation: "Regain" is less specific; "replenish" is more precise and suitable for academic writing. "Hard" is informal; "challenging" is more formal.
"study more effective" -> "study more effectively"
Explanation: "More effective" is an adjective form; "more effectively" is the adverbial form needed here for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"hobbles" -> "hobbies"
Explanation: "Hobbles" is a typographical error; "hobbies" is the correct term.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding homework and academic work during school hours. The writer presents the argument for assigning less homework and emphasizes the importance of self-study, family, and hobbies. However, while the opposing view is mentioned, it lacks depth and specific examples. The essay states that students may become lazy without homework but does not elaborate on this point or provide supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more detailed arguments for both sides. Including specific examples or studies that support the benefits of homework and the potential consequences of not assigning it would create a more balanced discussion. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the two views could help in addressing all parts of the question more comprehensively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of less homework in the introduction and maintains this stance throughout the essay. However, the transition between discussing both views and the writer’s opinion could be smoother. The conclusion reiterates the writer’s position but does not effectively summarize the arguments made for both sides.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to their main argument. Using transitional phrases to indicate shifts between discussing different viewpoints and reinforcing their own opinion would enhance coherence. A more robust conclusion that encapsulates the key arguments from both perspectives would also solidify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the importance of self-study and the role of family and hobbies in a child’s development. However, some ideas are not fully developed or supported. For instance, the mention of research on self-study skills is vague and lacks citation or detail, which weakens the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on key points with specific examples, statistics, or studies to provide stronger support for their claims. Each idea should be clearly linked to the overall argument, and the writer should consider using real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate their points more vividly.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the balance between homework and academic work during school hours. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing the potential laziness of students without homework. While relevant, this point could be more directly tied back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the central question of homework versus academic work in school. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all arguments are relevant and contribute to the discussion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion, it could benefit from deeper exploration of both views, more robust support for ideas, and improved coherence in transitions and conclusions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument supporting the idea that teachers should focus on completing academic work during school hours. The introduction outlines the two perspectives and states the writer’s opinion, which sets a logical foundation. Each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the thesis, such as the importance of self-study and the role of family and hobbies. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, as some paragraphs feel slightly disjointed. For example, the shift from discussing self-study to the argument about students being lazy lacks a clear transitional phrase that connects these ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could use more explicit transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" when introducing opposing views would help clarify the relationship between different points. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis can strengthen the overall organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, such as the importance of self-study, the potential laziness of students, and the value of family and hobbies. However, some paragraphs could be more developed. For instance, the paragraph discussing the argument against assigning homework could benefit from more examples or elaboration to fully support the point being made.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, the writer should aim to develop each paragraph with more supporting details and examples. For instance, in the paragraph addressing the potential laziness of students, the writer could include statistics or studies that illustrate the impact of homework on student motivation. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus and flows logically into the next will enhance overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "furthermore," and "in conclusion," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "there is a research" is awkward and lacks clarity, which detracts from the overall cohesiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "for instance," "in addition," and "consequently" can help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, revising awkward phrases for clarity, such as changing "there is a research" to "research shows that," will improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it tends to rely on common phrases and lacks variety in word choice. For instance, the use of "homework" and "students" is repetitive, which detracts from the overall lexical richness. Phrases like "an abundant of homework" and "self-study is an essential part of a student" are somewhat formulaic and could be expressed with more sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "homework," alternatives like "assignments," "out-of-class tasks," or "academic work" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases such as "academic responsibilities" or "independent study" could add depth to the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "an abundant of homework" should be "an abundance of homework." Additionally, "look back their work" is awkward and unclear; it would be more precise to say "review their work." The phrase "better self-study skill" should be "better self-study skills" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and correctness. For instance, instead of saying "students will be lazy," a more precise formulation could be "students may lack motivation." Furthermore, consulting a thesaurus or vocabulary resources can help in selecting more precise terms.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "stunderts" instead of "students," "home work" instead of "homework," and "hobbles" instead of "hobbies." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify spelling mistakes. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging in exercises that focus on spelling can also reinforce correct usage.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there is significant room for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and correcting spelling errors, the writer can work towards achieving a higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, the opening sentence uses a straightforward construction: "It is argued that an abundant of homework should be assigned for stunderts." Most sentences follow a similar simple or compound structure, which restricts the overall complexity of the writing. The use of phrases like "this writer agrees with the latter sentiment" shows some variety, but the overall lack of complex sentences (e.g., relative clauses, conditional sentences) limits the effectiveness of the argumentation.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences. For example, they could use relative clauses to add detail (e.g., "Students, who often feel overwhelmed by homework, may benefit from more time for self-study"). Additionally, employing conditional structures (e.g., "If students are given too much homework, they may struggle to balance their studies with personal interests") can add depth to the arguments presented.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "an abundant of homework" should be "an abundance of homework," and "stunderts" is a misspelling of "students." The phrase "to look back their work" is awkward; it should be "to look back at their work." Additionally, the use of commas is inconsistent, such as in "Every student needs – to consider their weaknesses," where the dash is incorrect and should be replaced with a comma or omitted entirely.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for spelling and grammatical errors. They can practice identifying common mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas and conjunctions, will enhance clarity. For instance, the writer could revise sentences to ensure they are complete and correctly punctuated, such as changing "There is a research that people with better self-study skill will gain more opportunities to promote" to "Research shows that people with better self-study skills gain more opportunities for advancement."

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument, it suffers from a lack of grammatical range and accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical correctness and punctuation, the writer can improve their score in this criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that an adequate amount of homework should be assigned for students, while others believe that teachers should help them complete their academic work during the school day. This writer agrees with the latter sentiment, as students need time for self-study, as well as time for their family and hobbies.

It is vital to understand that self-study is an essential part of a student’s development. Every student needs to identify their weaknesses; therefore, they can develop a plan to improve themselves. Otherwise, if teachers assign too much homework, students will not have enough time to review their work, which may disrupt their plan. Research shows that individuals with better self-study skills will gain more opportunities for advancement.

However, many people argue that students may become complacent if teachers do not assign homework. This belief is based on the fact that many students complete homework solely to fulfill their obligations to their teachers. Nonetheless, students must be taught to be responsible for their studies and their future.

Another key factor is that schoolchildren should allocate more time to their family and hobbies. Family and hobbies play an essential role in developing children’s personalities. Furthermore, they also need time to replenish their energy after a challenging day at school. It is recognized that students study more effectively after spending time with their family and engaging in their hobbies.

In conclusion, teachers should focus on completing academic work with students during the school day, as this approach gives students time for self-study, family, and hobbies. This essay has demonstrated that students should not be assigned an excessive amount of homework.