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Some people believe that traveling alone is the best way to experience a country or a culture. When traveling alone, we can feel comfortable and free. Others feel that it is better to travel with people you know because we can share costs, food and drink together in the long journey. Write an essay to present reasons and consciousness which are based on your knowledge and experience.

Some people believe that traveling alone is the best way to experience a country or a culture. When traveling alone, we can feel comfortable and free. Others feel that it is better to travel with people you know because we can share costs, food and drink together in the long journey.
Write an essay to present reasons and consciousness which are based on your knowledge and experience.

People have divergent views with regard to the question of whether embarking on solo journeys or traveling with familiar companions. While a school of thought holds that embarking on solo journeys offers unparalleled experiences, others claim that traveling with familiar companions is the preferable option. From my standpoint, I side with the latter idea.
Admittedly, it is seemingly comprehensible why advocates subscribe to the view that solo travel allows for a sense of ease and independence. Chief of these is that it provides individuals with the freedom to tailor their itinerary according to personal interests. When alone, individuals have the liberty to follow their own interests and whims without the constraints of others, resulting in a more personalized and fulfilling experience. Another advantageous point is that traveling alone encourages direct interaction with locals. This personal engagement enables individuals to learn regarding local customs, traditions, and ways of life firsthand. fostering delver into the culture’s understanding through firsthand experiences.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned line of reasoning, I am convinced that choosing to travel alongside familiar companions is more beneficial. The key reason for this is the economies of scale. By journeying together, individuals can collectively share expenses related to accommodation, transportation, and group activities. This collaborative approach leads to substantial cost savings for each individual, making the overall travel experience more economically efficient and enjoyable. An added supporting argument for this is that traveling with friends or family provides a sense of companionship, alleviating feelings of isolation. The shared experiences during the trip not only create lasting memories but also contribute to a profound sense of unity among the group members, fostering stronger bonds and enhancing overall well-being.
In summary, while some sufficient justifications support that uncovering a country or culture alone is considered the optimal way, it is my firm conviction that opting to travel with familiar companions.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "People have divergent views with regard to the question of whether" -> "There is a divergence of opinion regarding the question of whether"
    Explanation: The phrase "There is a divergence of opinion regarding" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  2. "embarking on solo journeys" -> "undertaking solo travel"
    Explanation: "Undertaking solo travel" is a more formal and concise alternative to "embarking on solo journeys," which sounds slightly awkward and verbose.

  3. "offers unparalleled experiences" -> "provides unparalleled experiences"
    Explanation: "Provides" is a more formal synonym for "offers," aligning better with academic style.

  4. "the preferable option" -> "the preferred option"
    Explanation: "Preferred" is the correct form when referring to a choice or preference, whereas "preferable" is an adjective used to describe something that is more desirable.

  5. "it is seemingly comprehensible" -> "it is understandable"
    Explanation: "Seemingly comprehensible" is redundant; "understandable" is sufficient and maintains the formal tone.

  6. "Chief of these is that" -> "The primary reason is that"
    Explanation: "The primary reason is that" is more direct and formal, improving clarity and academic tone.

  7. "the liberty to follow their own interests and whims" -> "the freedom to pursue their own interests and preferences"
    Explanation: "Freedom to pursue their own interests and preferences" is more precise and formal, replacing the less formal "whims."

  8. "resulting in a more personalized and fulfilling experience" -> "yielding a more personalized and fulfilling experience"
    Explanation: "Yielding" is a more formal synonym for "resulting," enhancing the academic tone.

  9. "This personal engagement enables individuals to learn regarding local customs" -> "This personal engagement allows individuals to learn about local customs"
    Explanation: "Allows" is more formal than "enables," and "about" is the correct preposition for describing learning, replacing "regarding."

  10. "fostering delver into the culture’s understanding through firsthand experiences" -> "facilitating a deeper understanding of the culture through firsthand experiences"
    Explanation: "Facilitating a deeper understanding" is more precise and academically appropriate than "fostering delver," which is incorrect and unclear.

  11. "choosing to travel alongside familiar companions" -> "choosing to travel with familiar companions"
    Explanation: "Travel alongside" is less common and slightly awkward; "travel with" is the standard phrase.

  12. "The key reason for this is the economies of scale" -> "The primary reason for this is the economies of scale"
    Explanation: "Primary" is more formal than "key," aligning better with academic style.

  13. "substantial cost savings for each individual" -> "significant cost savings for each individual"
    Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and formal adjective than "substantial" in this context.

  14. "making the overall travel experience more economically efficient and enjoyable" -> "rendering the overall travel experience more economically efficient and enjoyable"
    Explanation: "Rendering" is a more formal verb choice than "making," enhancing the academic tone.

  15. "opting to travel with familiar companions" -> "choosing to travel with familiar companions"
    Explanation: "Choosing" is a more formal synonym for "opting," aligning better with academic language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding solo travel versus traveling with companions, which is a requirement of the prompt. The author presents the benefits of solo travel, such as freedom and cultural engagement, before articulating a preference for traveling with companions due to cost-sharing and companionship. However, while both perspectives are mentioned, the essay could better explore the reasons behind the preference for solo travel, as it only briefly touches on this viewpoint without fully developing it.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should provide more detailed examples or anecdotes that illustrate the benefits of solo travel. This could involve discussing specific experiences or situations that highlight the advantages of both travel styles, thereby offering a more balanced view and fully addressing the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The author clearly states their position in favor of traveling with companions early in the essay and maintains this stance throughout. However, the transition between discussing solo travel and the preference for traveling with companions could be smoother. The phrase "I side with the latter idea" could be more explicitly connected to the subsequent arguments to reinforce the position.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should use clearer transitional phrases when shifting from one argument to another. For instance, explicitly stating how the benefits of traveling with companions outweigh those of solo travel could strengthen the overall coherence of the argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several valid points, such as cost-sharing and companionship, to support the preference for traveling with companions. However, some points lack depth. For example, while the essay mentions "economies of scale," it does not elaborate on how this specifically enhances the travel experience beyond financial aspects. Additionally, the discussion of solo travel benefits could be more robust.
    • How to improve: The author should aim to extend their ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, elaborating on how shared experiences create lasting memories could include specific activities or scenarios that illustrate this point. This would help to substantiate the arguments more effectively.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages of both solo travel and traveling with companions. However, the conclusion seems somewhat abrupt and does not effectively summarize the arguments made. The final statement appears incomplete and lacks a clear reiteration of the author’s position.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and enhance the conclusion, the author should summarize the key points made in the essay and restate their position more emphatically. A well-rounded conclusion should reflect on the discussion and reinforce the main argument, ensuring that the reader is left with a clear understanding of the author’s perspective.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of transitions, and the strength of supporting examples. By addressing these areas, the author can enhance the overall quality of their response and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the two opposing views on traveling alone versus with companions. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific argument, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of solo travel, while the second emphasizes the advantages of traveling with companions. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother, as the shift from solo travel to group travel feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in perspective. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help signal the transition from discussing solo travel to the benefits of traveling with companions. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea can further improve clarity.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for readability. Each paragraph is focused on a single aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning. However, the conclusion appears to be incomplete and lacks a summarization of the key points discussed in the body paragraphs, which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the essay.
    • How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion not only restates the writer’s position but also briefly summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay. This will provide a more comprehensive closure to the discussion. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas, as this can enhance clarity and focus.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "while," "notwithstanding," and "another advantageous point," which help in linking ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel forced or awkward, such as "fostering delver into the culture’s understanding through firsthand experiences," which lacks clarity.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," "however," and "for instance." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also clarify the relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensure that all cohesive devices are used correctly and in context to avoid confusion. For example, rephrasing awkward sentences for clarity will improve coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "embarking on solo journeys," "unparalleled experiences," and "economies of scale." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in expression. For instance, the phrase "traveling with familiar companions" is used multiple times, which could be varied to enhance the lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and alternative phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "traveling with familiar companions," they could use "traveling with friends," "group travel," or "companionship on journeys." Additionally, introducing more advanced vocabulary related to travel and culture could elevate the essay’s lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "fostering delver into the culture’s understanding" is awkward and unclear. The intended meaning seems to be about gaining a deeper understanding of the culture, but the word choice does not convey this effectively.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity in word choice. Instead of "fostering delver into the culture’s understanding," a clearer phrase could be "deepening one’s understanding of the culture." This not only improves precision but also enhances readability. It is essential to ensure that vocabulary choices accurately reflect the intended meaning.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "delver" instead of "deeper" or "delving," which can confuse readers and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, the phrase "sufficient justifications" is somewhat misleading as "sufficient" does not accurately describe the strength of the justifications presented.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, possibly using spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud to catch errors. It is also beneficial to familiarize oneself with commonly misspelled words and practice writing them correctly. Furthermore, ensuring that the vocabulary used aligns with the intended meaning can help avoid confusion and improve overall clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, phrases like "While a school of thought holds that embarking on solo journeys offers unparalleled experiences, others claim that traveling with familiar companions is the preferable option" effectively showcase the writer’s ability to construct complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied introductory phrases.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different grammatical forms, such as conditionals (e.g., "If one travels alone, they may…") or participial phrases (e.g., "Traveling with friends, one can…"). Additionally, using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Never before have I felt…") can add sophistication to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "fostering delver into the culture’s understanding" appears to contain a typographical error ("delver" should likely be "deeper"), which affects clarity. Furthermore, punctuation issues arise, such as the lack of a comma before "resulting in a more personalized and fulfilling experience," which could help clarify the sentence structure.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure clarity. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will also enhance punctuation skills. Additionally, reviewing subject-verb agreement and ensuring that all verb forms are used correctly will help in achieving greater grammatical precision. For example, revising sentences to ensure they align with standard grammatical conventions will improve overall coherence and readability.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical precision. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have divergent views regarding the question of whether embarking on solo journeys or traveling with familiar companions is better. While a school of thought holds that solo travel offers unparalleled experiences, others claim that traveling with familiar companions is the preferred option. From my standpoint, I side with the latter idea.

Admittedly, it is understandable why advocates subscribe to the view that solo travel allows for a sense of ease and independence. The primary reason is that it provides individuals with the freedom to tailor their itinerary according to personal interests. When alone, individuals have the liberty to follow their own interests and whims without the constraints of others, resulting in a more personalized and fulfilling experience. Another advantageous point is that traveling alone encourages direct interaction with locals. This personal engagement allows individuals to learn about local customs, traditions, and ways of life firsthand, facilitating a deeper understanding of the culture through firsthand experiences.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned line of reasoning, I am convinced that choosing to travel alongside familiar companions is more beneficial. The primary reason for this is the economies of scale. By journeying together, individuals can collectively share expenses related to accommodation, transportation, and group activities. This collaborative approach leads to significant cost savings for each individual, rendering the overall travel experience more economically efficient and enjoyable. An added supporting argument for this is that traveling with friends or family provides a sense of companionship, alleviating feelings of isolation. The shared experiences during the trip not only create lasting memories but also contribute to a profound sense of unity among the group members, fostering stronger bonds and enhancing overall well-being.

In summary, while there are sufficient justifications supporting the idea that uncovering a country or culture alone is the optimal way, it is my firm conviction that opting to travel with familiar companions is the better choice.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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