Some people say that parents need to spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there areother sources for stories such as books, TV and the Internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are those who believe that modern parents no longer have to spend time reading stories to their children, given the availability of alternative sources for stories such as books, TV programs and the internet. However, others, myself included, argue that this
practice should still be maintained, as it benefits children’s linguistic development and fosters stronger bonds within the family.

Admittedly, it has to be acknowledged that children can now access a wide range of stories without parents’ involvement. For example, there are many children’s books that contain age-appropriate stories with eye-catching illustrations to pique and retain young readers’ interest. TV programs are another platform where storytelling has become more immersive, with animated pictures, along with well-blended sounds, which can enhance children’s understanding, thanks to the visual and audio aid. Similarly, a large number of YouTube channels are dedicated to telling stories such as My Story Animated, allowing children to enjoy their favorite stories in a fun and immersive way.

However, the availability of these mediums does not preclude the need for parents to tell stories to their young ones. The key reason is that young children are bound to encounter linguistic problems such as unfamiliar syntax, and the use of advanced vocabulary and/or
grammar, when they read or watch stories on their own. This can affect their understanding and ultimately their language and cognitive development. These problems can be easily resolved if parents are involved in storytelling because they can offer explanations and rephrase difficult concepts in simpler language. Furthermore, parents who have a habit of telling stories to their children often have more intimate relationships with them, fostering a more harmonious family environment. In fact, parents who often read bed-time stories to their infants tend to have an easier time dealing with their teenage years later due to the close-knit relationships established early on.

In conclusion, although children’s stories are readily available and easily accessible on other platforms, parents should still spare time to read stories to their children to better facilitate their development and build tight-knit relationships with them.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There are those who believe" -> "Some argue"
Explanation: "Some argue" is a more concise and academically appropriate way to introduce opposing viewpoints, avoiding the more informal and vague "There are those who believe."
"no longer have to spend time" -> "are no longer required to spend time"
Explanation: "Are no longer required to spend time" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"given the availability of" -> "owing to the availability of"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal preposition that better fits the academic style, indicating causality more clearly.
"this practice should still be maintained" -> "this practice should continue"
Explanation: "Continue" is a more direct and formal term than "maintain," which is slightly less common in academic writing.
"it has to be acknowledged" -> "it must be acknowledged"
Explanation: "Must" is more formal and assertive than "has to," aligning better with academic standards.
"children can now access" -> "children have access to"
Explanation: "Have access to" is a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing.
"with eye-catching illustrations" -> "with illustrations that are visually engaging"
Explanation: "Visually engaging" is a more precise and formal term than "eye-catching," which is somewhat colloquial.
"well-blended sounds" -> "well-integrated sound effects"
Explanation: "Well-integrated sound effects" is a more specific and technical term, enhancing the formality and precision of the description.
"a large number of" -> "numerous"
Explanation: "Numerous" is a more concise and formal alternative to "a large number of," which is somewhat redundant.
"My Story Animated" -> "the animated storytelling platform "My Story""
Explanation: Adding "the animated storytelling platform" clarifies the context and enhances the formality of the reference.
"bound to encounter" -> "inevitably encounter"
Explanation: "Inevitably" is a more formal and precise adverb than "bound to," which is somewhat colloquial.
"linguistic problems" -> "linguistic challenges"
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term than "problems," which can imply a negative connotation.
"can be easily resolved" -> "can be readily addressed"
Explanation: "Can be readily addressed" is a more formal and precise way to describe the resolution of issues, fitting better in an academic context.
"have an easier time" -> "face fewer challenges"
Explanation: "Face fewer challenges" is a more formal and objective way to describe the ease of dealing with situations, avoiding the colloquial "have an easier time."
"tight-knit relationships" -> "close relationships"
Explanation: "Close relationships" is a more straightforward and academically appropriate term than "tight-knit," which is somewhat informal and colloquial.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views presented in the prompt. It begins by acknowledging the perspective that modern parents can rely on alternative sources for storytelling, citing examples such as books, TV programs, and the internet. This is balanced with a clear presentation of the opposing view, emphasizing the importance of parental involvement in storytelling. The essay successfully discusses both sides before articulating the author’s own opinion, which is that parents should continue this practice for the benefit of children’s development and family bonding.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could provide more detailed examples or statistics to support the claims made about the benefits of parental storytelling. Additionally, a more explicit mention of the potential drawbacks of relying solely on media for storytelling could strengthen the argument against the first viewpoint.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently advocating for the importance of parental storytelling. The author clearly states their opinion in the introduction and reinforces it in the conclusion. The use of phrases like "However, others, myself included, argue that this practice should still be maintained" indicates a strong personal stance. The arguments presented are logically structured and support the main thesis.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could use transitional phrases to link ideas more explicitly, ensuring that the reader can easily follow the argument’s progression. Additionally, reiterating the main position at the beginning of each body paragraph could enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, particularly regarding the benefits of parental storytelling for linguistic development and family bonding. The author effectively extends these ideas by providing specific examples, such as the challenges children face with complex language in media. The mention of the impact on relationships during teenage years adds depth to the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could incorporate more empirical evidence or studies that highlight the benefits of storytelling. Additionally, including counterarguments and addressing them could provide a more nuanced discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the relevance of parental storytelling in the context of modern alternatives. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is coherent, with each section logically leading to the next.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author should ensure that all examples directly relate back to the main argument. For instance, when discussing the advantages of media, it could be beneficial to explicitly connect how these alternatives might lack the personal touch that storytelling provides, reinforcing the need for parental involvement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the author’s position. By incorporating more detailed examples, empirical support, and clearer transitions, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication in addressing the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views regarding parental involvement in storytelling. Each body paragraph effectively addresses one side of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the benefits of alternative storytelling mediums and the second paragraph emphasizing the importance of parental storytelling. The logical progression from one idea to the next is smooth, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer’s stance. For instance, the transition from discussing the availability of stories to the potential linguistic challenges faced by children is well-executed, maintaining clarity throughout.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between the main points. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" could be employed to signal shifts in perspective more clearly. Additionally, integrating a brief summary of the opposing view before presenting your argument could further strengthen the logical organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into the arguments, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion neatly. Each paragraph is well-structured, with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, the second body paragraph begins with a clear assertion about the importance of parental storytelling, followed by relevant examples that support this claim.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a balance of ideas. For instance, the second body paragraph could benefit from additional examples or evidence to reinforce the argument about linguistic development. This would not only strengthen the argument but also provide a more comprehensive view of the topic.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. Words like "however," "for example," and "furthermore" are effectively used to introduce new points and provide additional information. The use of pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned concepts also aids in coherence, making the text easier to follow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using phrases like "in addition," "moreover," or "as a result" can help to create a more nuanced connection between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures can enhance the overall cohesiveness of the essay, making it more engaging for the reader.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "linguistic development," "immersive," "age-appropriate," and "cognitive development." These choices reflect a sophisticated understanding of the topic and contribute to the clarity of the argument. The use of phrases like "eye-catching illustrations" and "well-blended sounds" adds depth to the descriptions, showcasing the writer’s ability to convey complex ideas succinctly.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "stories," you could use alternatives like "narratives," "tales," or "fables." Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or less common vocabulary related to parenting and education could enrich the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, particularly in discussing the benefits of storytelling. Phrases like "visual and audio aid" and "linguistic problems" are used accurately to convey specific meanings. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the availability of these mediums" could be more clearly articulated as "the availability of these media," as "mediums" typically refers to physical forms or channels rather than the plural of media.
- How to improve: To improve precision, review the context in which certain terms are used. Ensure that the chosen vocabulary aligns perfectly with the intended meaning. For instance, consider using "resources" instead of "mediums" when referring to storytelling platforms. Additionally, practice using vocabulary in varied contexts to solidify understanding and ensure appropriate usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "development," "relationships," and "understanding" are spelled correctly throughout the text, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing. This accuracy enhances the clarity and credibility of the argument presented.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a moment to read through it slowly, focusing specifically on spelling. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words and practice them regularly. Utilizing tools like spell checkers can also be beneficial, but be cautious, as they may not catch every error, especially with homophones or context-specific terms.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource with room for minor improvements in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating these suggestions, the writer can enhance their lexical resource even further, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "given the availability of alternative sources for stories such as books, TV programs and the internet" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys a nuanced idea. Additionally, the sentence "However, others, myself included, argue that this practice should still be maintained" employs a parenthetical element, adding depth to the argument. The writer also effectively uses conditional structures, such as "if parents are involved in storytelling," which enhances the argument’s clarity and sophistication.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although there are many alternative sources…") or using inversion for emphasis could add more complexity. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "the use of advanced vocabulary and/or grammar" is grammatically correct, but the use of "and/or" could be simplified to either "and" or "or" for clarity. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there is a small oversight in the phrase "the internet," which should be capitalized as "the Internet" to maintain consistency with standard conventions.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the use of conjunctions and punctuation in complex sentences. For example, ensuring that commas are used correctly in compound sentences can prevent run-on sentences. Additionally, a careful proofreading process can help catch minor errors like capitalization and ensure that all terms are presented consistently. Engaging with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls can also solidify understanding and application of grammatical rules.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s viewpoints. With slight adjustments in sentence variety and grammatical precision, it could achieve an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are those who believe that modern parents no longer have to spend time reading stories to their children, given the availability of alternative sources for stories such as books, TV programs, and the Internet. However, others, myself included, argue that this practice should still be maintained, as it benefits children’s linguistic development and fosters stronger bonds within the family.

Admittedly, it must be acknowledged that children have access to a wide range of stories without parents’ involvement. For example, there are many children’s books that contain age-appropriate stories with eye-catching illustrations to pique and retain young readers’ interest. TV programs are another platform where storytelling has become more immersive, with animated pictures, along with well-integrated sound effects, which can enhance children’s understanding, owing to the visual and audio aid. Similarly, numerous YouTube channels are dedicated to telling stories, such as My Story Animated, allowing children to enjoy their favorite stories in a fun and immersive way.

However, the availability of these mediums does not preclude the need for parents to tell stories to their young ones. The key reason is that young children are bound to encounter linguistic challenges such as unfamiliar syntax and the use of advanced vocabulary and grammar when they read or watch stories on their own. This can affect their understanding and ultimately their language and cognitive development. These problems can be readily addressed if parents are involved in storytelling because they can offer explanations and rephrase difficult concepts in simpler language. Furthermore, parents who have a habit of telling stories to their children often have more intimate relationships with them, fostering a more harmonious family environment. In fact, parents who often read bedtime stories to their infants tend to have an easier time dealing with their teenage years later due to the close relationships established early on.