Some people say that success is “10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work”. Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important

It is said that being successful requires a bit of giftedness and a great deal of effort. Actually, hard work does play a crucial part but genius is also vital for some reasons mentioned in this essay.

On the one hand, endeavour is a way for a person to reach his goals in life. Factually, if he does not spend time practising regularly, he will forget the taught skills soon. Furthermore, practising trains him to be more patient. It does not matter how many times he fails, he does not give up and stops his efforts till he gets to the top. What is more, it is said that attempts pay off sooner or later. For example, a medical student who spends hours learning theories as well as practising treating her patients will definitely become a well-known doctor in the foreseeable future.

On the other hand, hard work alone is not enough, natural ability is simultaneously attributed to success. It is apparent that smart office workers are highly likely to finish the tasks given by their supervisors more quickly and effectively compared to their counterparts. To make it clear, with accounting tasks, an accountant who is good at numbers often has better work performance than one having just basic accounting skills. She will be definitely chosen to be a chief accountant when she brings many profits to the company.

To sum up, while others suppose that effort is the primary reason for success, I still hold a firm belief that genius also has a great influence. Therefore, to be able to achieve certain goals, humans must possess both endeavour and giftedness.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is said that being successful requires a bit of giftedness and a great deal of effort." -> "Achieving success is often attributed to a combination of innate talent and significant effort."
   Explanation: The suggested change provides a more formal and concise expression of the idea, avoiding the colloquial "It is said that" and using a more sophisticated structure.

2. "Actually, hard work does play a crucial part but genius is also vital for some reasons mentioned in this essay." -> "Indeed, diligent effort plays a crucial role, yet innate genius is equally indispensable for reasons expounded in this essay."
   Explanation: The replacement enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence, substituting "Actually" with "Indeed" and rephrasing to convey the idea more precisely.

3. "endeavour" -> "diligent effort"
   Explanation: "Endeavour" is a bit formal and can be replaced with a more commonly used term like "diligent effort" to maintain formality while improving clarity.

4. "Factually, if he does not spend time practising regularly, he will forget the taught skills soon." -> "In reality, without regular practice, one is prone to quickly forget the acquired skills."
   Explanation: "Factually" is replaced with "In reality" for a more formal expression, and the sentence is rephrased for clarity and precision.

5. "What is more, it is said that attempts pay off sooner or later." -> "Moreover, it is widely acknowledged that persistent efforts yield results, sooner or later."
   Explanation: The suggested changes introduce a more formal transition with "Moreover" and provide a refined expression of the idea.

6. "For example, a medical student who spends hours learning theories as well as practising treating her patients will definitely become a well-known doctor in the foreseeable future." -> "For instance, a medical student dedicating hours to mastering theoretical knowledge and honing clinical skills is likely to emerge as a renowned doctor in the foreseeable future."
   Explanation: The revision uses more formal language, avoids the informal "definitely," and provides a more detailed and precise description.

7. "On the other hand, hard work alone is not enough, natural ability is simultaneously attributed to success." -> "However, hard work alone is insufficient; success is also contingent upon innate abilities."
   Explanation: The change enhances the coherence and formality of the sentence, using "However" for a smoother transition and a more precise expression of the idea.

8. "It is apparent that smart office workers are highly likely to finish the tasks given by their supervisors more quickly and effectively compared to their counterparts." -> "It is evident that intellectually adept office workers are more likely to efficiently complete tasks assigned by their supervisors in comparison to their peers."
   Explanation: The suggested changes elevate the formality and clarity of the sentence, replacing "highly likely" with "evident" and offering a more refined comparison.

9. "To make it clear, with accounting tasks, an accountant who is good at numbers often has better work performance than one having just basic accounting skills." -> "To clarify, in the realm of accounting tasks, an accountant proficient in numerical skills typically outperforms one with only basic accounting abilities."
   Explanation: The revision enhances clarity by using a more formal expression and specifying the domain of expertise.

10. "She will be definitely chosen to be a chief accountant when she brings many profits to the company." -> "She is likely to be selected as a chief accountant when she contributes significantly to the company’s profits."
    Explanation: "Definitely" is replaced with "likely to" for a more cautious and formal tone, and the sentence is refined for precision and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

1. Quoted text: "On the one hand, endeavour is a way for a person to reach his goals in life. Factually, if he does not spend time practising regularly, he will forget the taught skills soon. Furthermore, practising trains him to be more patient. It does not matter how many times he fails, he does not give up and stops his efforts till he gets to the top. What is more, it is said that attempts pay off sooner or later. For example, a medical student who spends hours learning theories as well as practising treating her patients will definitely become a well-known doctor in the foreseeable future."

   • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the paragraph emphasizes the importance of hard work and perseverance, the ideas lack depth and are somewhat repetitive. To enhance this section, provide specific examples or scenarios that illustrate the relationship between hard work, skill retention, and ultimate success. Instead of general statements, delve into details about how consistent practice and resilience contribute to achieving specific goals. For instance, describe a situation where a musician’s dedication to daily practice leads to mastering a complex piece, showcasing the tangible outcomes of sustained effort.
   • Improved example: "On the one hand, relentless effort is instrumental in achieving one’s life goals. Take, for instance, a budding musician who diligently practices the piano daily. This consistent effort not only helps in skill retention but also cultivates patience. The musician’s unwavering commitment, even in the face of repeated failures, eventually pays off. Through persistent practice, the musician not only retains musical techniques but also masters challenging compositions, paving the way for a successful career in the music industry."

2. Quoted text: "On the other hand, hard work alone is not enough, natural ability is simultaneously attributed to success. It is apparent that smart office workers are highly likely to finish the tasks given by their supervisors more quickly and effectively compared to their counterparts. To make it clear, with accounting tasks, an accountant who is good at numbers often has better work performance than one having just basic accounting skills. She will be definitely chosen to be a chief accountant when she brings many profits to the company."

   • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph makes a valid point about the importance of natural ability in specific professions. However, the connection between natural ability and success could be strengthened by providing a broader range of examples. Instead of focusing solely on office tasks, consider incorporating examples from various fields to showcase the versatility of talent in contributing to success. For instance, elaborate on how a person’s inherent linguistic abilities might lead to success in roles requiring effective communication, emphasizing that talent extends beyond numerical proficiency.
   • Improved example: "On the other hand, success is not solely attributed to hard work; inherent talent also plays a pivotal role. Consider individuals with a natural flair for languages. In roles demanding effective communication, those with linguistic abilities outshine their counterparts. For instance, a multilingual professional not only completes tasks efficiently but also bridges communication gaps in a diverse workplace, ultimately contributing to the overall success of the team."

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt but could benefit from more detailed and varied examples to support the ideas, ensuring a thorough exploration of the relationship between hard work, talent, and success.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, contributing to overall coherence. Cohesive devices are used, though there is some underuse and a few instances of repetitive language. The essay effectively argues for the importance of both hard work and talent in success.

How to improve: To enhance coherence, consider varying the use of cohesive devices for more fluid transitions. Additionally, avoid repetitive language by exploring synonyms and alternative expressions. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its central topic, contributing to a more refined structure. Overall, a more varied and precise use of language will elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expressing ideas. The candidate uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, but they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively presents the argument that success requires both hard work and talent, providing examples to support each point.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, the writer could incorporate a more varied range of vocabulary, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, paying closer attention to word choice and refining the use of less common lexical items would contribute to a more polished and sophisticated expression. Addressing occasional errors in spelling and word formation will further strengthen the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay showcases a mix of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex forms. There’s an attempt to use a variety of sentence types, albeit with some errors in grammar and punctuation. While there are instances of effective communication, errors are present and noticeable throughout the essay, impacting clarity in some areas.

How to improve: To enhance the score, focus on refining complex structures and aim for greater accuracy in grammar and punctuation. Review and revise sentences to ensure they are error-free, particularly when employing more intricate sentence forms. Incorporating a wider range of sophisticated structures with increased accuracy will elevate the essay’s grammatical range and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is commonly believed that achieving success demands a combination of innate talent and considerable effort. Undoubtedly, hard work plays a pivotal role, yet innate abilities also hold significance for several reasons outlined in this essay.

Firstly, diligence is the pathway for individuals to accomplish their life objectives. Practicing regularly is crucial, as it reinforces learned skills. Additionally, consistent practice nurtures patience. Regardless of how many setbacks one faces, the determination to persist until reaching the pinnacle remains paramount. Moreover, it’s widely acknowledged that persistent efforts eventually yield favorable results. For instance, a medical student who dedicates extensive hours to mastering theories and honing practical skills in patient care is destined to emerge as a distinguished doctor in due course.

However, hard work alone does not guarantee success; innate aptitude is equally contributory. Evidently, individuals possessing innate intelligence often exhibit greater efficiency and effectiveness in completing tasks assigned by their superiors. To illustrate, in fields like accounting, a proficient accountant adept in numerical skills typically outperforms one with merely fundamental accounting knowledge. Consequently, the former is more likely to ascend to the role of chief accountant by significantly boosting the company’s profits.

In conclusion, while some contend that endeavor is the primary catalyst for success, I firmly advocate that innate talent also wields considerable influence. Thus, to attain specific goals, individuals must possess both dedication and innate abilities.