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Some people say that the government should pay money for large pieces of art, like sculptures for public display in outdoor places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should pay money for large pieces of art, like sculptures for public display in outdoor places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a growing debate regarding whether the government should allocate funds for the creation of large pieces of art, such as sculptures, to be displayed in public outdoor spaces. While some argue that this financial support is necessary to enhance the cultural landscape and promote artistic expression, others believe that the government's resources should be directed towards more pressing societal needs. In my opinion, I agree with the latter viewpoint, as I believe that the government's primary responsibility is to address the immediate needs of its citizens.

Firstly, it is crucial to acknowledge that allocating funds for large pieces of art may not be the most effective use of government resources. The government has a multitude of pressing issues to address, such as healthcare, education, and poverty alleviation. By diverting funds towards art projects, the government may be neglecting these essential areas, which directly impact the well-being of its citizens.

Moreover, it is important to consider the subjective nature of art. While some may appreciate and value large sculptures in public spaces, others may not share the same sentiment. Therefore, it would be unfair to allocate public funds for projects that may not be universally appreciated or enjoyed. Instead, the government should focus on initiatives that have a more tangible and widespread impact on society.

Additionally, it is worth noting that the creation and maintenance of large art installations can be costly. The funds required for the construction, transportation, and maintenance of these sculptures could be better utilized in improving infrastructure, providing essential services, or investing in sustainable development projects. These endeavors would have a more direct and lasting impact on the community as a whole.

In conclusion, while the idea of the government financially supporting large pieces of art for public display may seem appealing, it is not the most practical or efficient use of resources. The government should prioritize addressing the immediate needs of its citizens, such as healthcare, education, and poverty alleviation. By doing so, it can ensure the well-being and prosperity of the community, rather than investing in subjective and potentially costly art projects.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "there is a growing debate" -> "there is an ongoing debate"
    Explanation: Replacing "growing" with "ongoing" provides a more precise and formal description of the debate, aligning with academic language standards.

  2. "financial support" -> "financial backing"
    Explanation: Substituting "support" with "backing" adds a touch of formality, offering a more sophisticated term without sacrificing clarity in the context of government funding.

  3. "immediate needs" -> "pressing societal needs"
    Explanation: Changing "immediate needs" to "pressing societal needs" maintains the urgency while using more formal and specific language suitable for an academic tone.

  4. "it is crucial to acknowledge" -> "it is imperative to recognize"
    Explanation: Replacing "crucial to acknowledge" with "imperative to recognize" elevates the formality of the sentence, providing a more sophisticated expression without altering the intended meaning.

  5. "may not be the most effective use" -> "might not constitute the most efficient allocation"
    Explanation: Substituting "may not be the most effective use" with "might not constitute the most efficient allocation" enhances the precision and formality of the statement.

  6. "a multitude of pressing issues" -> "a myriad of pressing concerns"
    Explanation: Changing "a multitude of pressing issues" to "a myriad of pressing concerns" introduces a more sophisticated and varied vocabulary while conveying the same idea.

  7. "By diverting funds towards art projects" -> "By allocating resources to art initiatives"
    Explanation: Shifting from "diverting funds towards" to "allocating resources to" maintains formality and precision, emphasizing a deliberate decision rather than a diversion.

  8. "it is worth noting" -> "it is noteworthy"
    Explanation: Replacing "it is worth noting" with "it is noteworthy" imparts a more refined expression, aligning with academic language standards.

  9. "creation and maintenance of large art installations" -> "establishment and upkeep of significant artistic installations"
    Explanation: Substituting "creation and maintenance of large art installations" with "establishment and upkeep of significant artistic installations" offers a more elaborate and formal description.

  10. "could be better utilized" -> "could be more effectively employed"
    Explanation: Changing "could be better utilized" to "could be more effectively employed" enhances the precision and formality of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay successfully addresses all aspects of the prompt by presenting both perspectives on whether the government should fund large pieces of art for public display. It evaluates the arguments for and against and clearly states the writer’s position.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing a brief roadmap in the introduction that explicitly mentions the two sides of the argument and your stance.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. The writer expresses a clear preference for directing government resources towards immediate societal needs.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity, ensure that each paragraph aligns with and reinforces the chosen position. A topic sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph can help maintain focus.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas, elaborates on them, and supports them with relevant examples. For instance, it discusses the pressing issues the government faces, the subjective nature of art, and the cost involved in art installations.
    • How to improve: To add depth, consider providing more varied examples or incorporating counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, consistently discussing whether the government should fund large art projects and supporting the stance with relevant arguments.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every paragraph contributes directly to the discussion on government funding for art. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that may distract from the main topic.

Overall Comments:
The essay exhibits a strong grasp of the prompt and effectively develops a coherent argument. To further improve, focus on providing a roadmap in the introduction, reinforcing the chosen stance in each paragraph, incorporating more varied examples, and avoiding any tangential points that may divert attention from the main topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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