Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings and statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings and statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings and statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government is said to be the pool of funds which are allocated properly from public sectors to the work of arts. And it is arguable that the government spends on art fields to just turn cities or towns into physically appealing destinations. From my point of view, I partly agree with this suggestion, as will be discussed below.

Firstly, each city or country has its own priorities at each phase of development. Vietnam, for instance, setting a goal to become an industrialized country in 2030, has been allocating two-thirds of its budget to build a layer of advanced infrastructure, public sectors: transportation, schools, hospitals and even improve education facilities. In contrast, Switzerland, a developed country in Europe, chooses to become a leading green country with focus on implementing the clean, green and sustainable projects funding up to a trillion of euros. At this point, it is not that much worth an increase in spending in art fields whereas financing the public sectors is calling for an urgent action.

Another front of this discussion is that cities or towns in which are placed more works of art such as paintings, statues, theaters, and museums are likely to attract more visitors, especially for those people who have a deep sense of art and curiosity for past-live heroes. And definitely it brings enormous benefits to the tourism industry ranging from accommodations, foods and beverages, transportations, and employment rate. And Quang Nam is a notable example to demonstrate. In 2015, local authority received funding from the government to build a statue of Me Thu – mom of heroes, since then the surrounding area has been filled with hotels, coffee shops and supermarkets as before it was an empty land. With this proven proof, this investment might not be neglected in terms of interconnected development.

In conclusion, whether the government decides to finance more works of art or not, there is a variety of factors to be considered.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "pool of funds" -> "allocation of funds"
   Explanation: "Pool of funds" is a somewhat informal expression. Replacing it with "allocation of funds" maintains a formal tone and better conveys the distribution of resources by the government.

2. "spends on art fields" -> "invests in the arts"
   Explanation: "Spends on art fields" is a bit informal. "Invests in the arts" is a more appropriate phrase in formal writing, emphasizing the deliberate allocation of resources for cultural development.

3. "physically appealing destinations" -> "aesthetic or culturally vibrant locales"
   Explanation: "Physically appealing destinations" is a bit generic. Using "aesthetic or culturally vibrant locales" provides a more nuanced and descriptive term, fitting for discussing the impact of art on cities or towns.

4. "From my point of view" -> "In my perspective"
   Explanation: "From my point of view" is acceptable but using "In my perspective" slightly elevates the formality of the language.

5. "Firstly" -> "First and foremost"
   Explanation: While "Firstly" is acceptable, "First and foremost" adds a touch of formality and emphasis.

6. "each city or country" -> "every city or nation"
   Explanation: "Each city or country" can be slightly informal. Using "every city or nation" maintains formality and clarity.

7. "setting a goal" -> "having set a goal"
   Explanation: Replacing "setting a goal" with "having set a goal" adds a more definitive and structured tone to the statement.

8. "building a layer of advanced infrastructure" -> "developing advanced infrastructure"
   Explanation: "Building a layer of advanced infrastructure" is a bit verbose. "Developing advanced infrastructure" maintains the meaning in a more concise manner.

9. "clean, green and sustainable projects" -> "environmentally sustainable projects"
   Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "environmentally sustainable projects" maintains the essence while being more direct and concise.

10. "calling for an urgent action" -> "demanding urgent attention"
    Explanation: "Calling for an urgent action" can be rephrased to "demanding urgent attention" for a more formal and precise expression.

11. "Another front of this discussion" -> "Another aspect of this debate"
    Explanation: "Another front of this discussion" is a bit informal. "Another aspect of this debate" maintains formality and clarity.

12. "in which are placed more works of art" -> "where more works of art are situated"
    Explanation: "In which are placed more works of art" is slightly awkward. "Where more works of art are situated" offers a clearer and more natural phrasing.

13. "especially for those people who have a deep sense of art" -> "particularly for individuals with a profound appreciation for art"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase maintains the meaning but presents it in a more formal and descriptive manner.

14. "and curiosity for past-live heroes" -> "and an interest in historical figures"
    Explanation: "Curiosity for past-live heroes" is a bit informal. "An interest in historical figures" maintains formality and clarity.

15. "And definitely it brings enormous benefits" -> "This undoubtedly brings substantial benefits"
    Explanation: Removing "And definitely" and replacing it with "This undoubtedly" maintains formality and removes unnecessary language.

16. "ranging from accommodations, foods and beverages, transportations, and employment rate" -> "spanning accommodations, food and beverages, transportation, and employment rates"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more grammatically structured and maintains a formal tone.

17. "proven proof" -> "evident proof"
    Explanation: "Proven proof" is redundant. "Evident proof" maintains the meaning more effectively.

18. "whether the government decides" -> "regardless of the government’s decision"
    Explanation: "Whether the government decides" is slightly informal. "Regardless of the government’s decision" adds formality and precision to the sentence’s structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

1. Quoted text: "Government is said to be the pool of funds which are allocated properly from public sectors to the work of arts. And it is arguable that the government spends on art fields to just turn cities or towns into physically appealing destinations. From my point of view, I partly agree with this suggestion, as will be discussed below."

   • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction lacks clarity in presenting the writer’s position. While the agreement is mentioned, it would be more effective to clearly state whether the writer fully agrees, disagrees, or holds a nuanced perspective. To enhance this, the writer could rephrase the introduction to clearly express their stance, such as "I agree to some extent with the suggestion that the government should invest in art for city beautification."
   • Improved example: "I agree to some extent with the suggestion that the government should invest in art for city beautification. However, certain considerations regarding budget allocation need to be addressed."

2. Quoted text: "Firstly, each city or country has its own priorities at each phase of development. Vietnam, for instance, setting a goal to become an industrialized country in 2030, has been allocating two-thirds of its budget to build a layer of advanced infrastructure, public sectors: transportation, schools, hospitals, and even improve education facilities. In contrast, Switzerland, a developed country in Europe, chooses to become a leading green country with a focus on implementing the clean, green and sustainable projects funding up to a trillion of euros. At this point, it is not that much worth an increase in spending in art fields whereas financing the public sectors are calling for urgent action."

   • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The writer successfully provides examples to support their argument, demonstrating a consideration of different countries’ priorities. However, the explanation lacks depth, and the connection between the examples and the writer’s perspective needs to be clarified. The writer could delve deeper into the impact of these priorities on the feasibility of allocating funds to art. This will make the argument more persuasive.
   • Improved example: "While it is understandable that each country has distinct development priorities, the allocation of funds to advanced infrastructure in Vietnam and sustainability projects in Switzerland underscores the competing demands for resources. In such contexts, diverting finances to art projects may not be a top priority due to the pressing needs of public sectors."

3. Quoted text: "Another front of this discussion is that cities or towns in which are placed more works of art such as paintings, statues, theaters, and museums are likely to attract more visitors, especially for those people who have a deep sense of art and curiosity for past-live heroes. And definitely, it brings enormous benefits to the tourism industry ranging from accommodations, foods and beverages, transportations, and employment rate. And Quang Nam is a notable example to demonstrate. In 2015, local authority received funding from the government to build a statue of Me Thu – mom of heroes, since then the surrounding area has been filled with hotels, coffee shops, and supermarkets as before it was an empty land. With this proven proof, this investment might not be neglected in terms of interconnected development."

   • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph effectively presents the benefits of placing art in cities, with a specific example from Quang Nam. However, the phrase "proven proof" is redundant, and the argument could be strengthened by providing more details on the increased employment rate or the economic impact. Additionally, the writer could address potential counterarguments to make the reasoning more robust.
   • Improved example: "For instance, in 2015, the local authorities in Quang Nam received government funding to erect a statue of Me Thu, the mother of heroes. Since then, the once-empty land has transformed into a bustling area with hotels, coffee shops, and supermarkets. While this example showcases the positive impact of art on local development, it’s crucial to acknowledge potential counterarguments, such as the need to balance art investments with other economic considerations."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a moderate level of task response. The writer’s position is somewhat clear, but the depth of argumentation and connection between examples and the main perspective could be strengthened for a more cohesive response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, although there is some underuse in certain parts of the essay. The central topic within each paragraph is presented clearly, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion. The essay integrates examples to support the points made, such as the case of Quang Nam, enhancing the overall clarity.

How to improve:
To enhance cohesion further, consider more consistently using cohesive devices throughout the essay. Ensure that the transitions between sentences are seamless, avoiding any potential for faulty or mechanical cohesion. Additionally, maintain a balance in the use of cohesive devices to prevent under- or overuse, providing a smoother flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary with a reasonable range of words and expressions. There is an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items, such as "industrialized country," "sustainable projects," and "past-live heroes." The author also exhibits some awareness of style and collocation, contributing to the overall flexibility of expression. While there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, they do not significantly impede communication. For example, there are instances where the phrasing could be more precise, and the sentence structure may be improved for better coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the author could focus on refining word choice and ensuring that the use of less common vocabulary is accurate and contextually appropriate. Additionally, attention to detail in terms of word formation and spelling would further strengthen the overall lexical control. Consider revising sentences for better clarity and coherence, maintaining the sophisticated tone achieved in parts of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including some complex ones. The majority of sentences are error-free, and there is generally good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors that, while not frequent, are noticeable and affect the overall accuracy.

How to improve: To reach a higher band score, focus on eliminating those occasional errors. Proofread your work carefully to catch any grammar or punctuation mistakes. Additionally, ensure that your complex sentence structures are consistently accurate. Consider seeking feedback from peers or teachers to identify and address specific areas of improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

“Some people propose that the government should invest in the arts by allocating funds to place more works of art, such as paintings and statues, in towns and cities, aiming to enhance their visual appeal. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government funds, seen as a resource pool, are allocated strategically across various sectors, including the arts. It is argued that such investments are aimed at transforming cities or towns into aesthetically pleasing destinations. From my perspective, I partially agree with this suggestion, and I will discuss my viewpoint below.

First and foremost, every city or nation has distinct development priorities at different stages. Take Vietnam, for example, which has set a goal to become an industrialized country by 2030. Currently, two-thirds of its budget is dedicated to developing advanced infrastructure and essential public sectors, such as transportation, schools, hospitals, and educational facilities. Conversely, a developed country like Switzerland focuses on environmentally sustainable projects, committing substantial funding to initiatives promoting cleanliness, green practices, and sustainability. In such contexts, allocating additional funds to the arts may not be as justified, as urgent attention is required in financing crucial public sectors.

Another aspect of this debate revolves around the potential attraction of cities or towns that house more works of art, including paintings, statues, theaters, and museums. Such locations are likely to draw more visitors, particularly individuals with a profound appreciation for art and an interest in historical figures. This undoubtedly brings substantial benefits to the tourism industry, spanning accommodations, food and beverages, transportation, and employment rates. A noteworthy example is Quang Nam, where, in 2015, the local authority received government funding to build a statue of Me Thu – the mother of heroes. Since then, the surrounding area has experienced significant development, with the emergence of hotels, coffee shops, and supermarkets on what was previously empty land. This provides evident proof that investments in the arts can contribute to interconnected development.

In conclusion, regardless of the government’s decision to allocate more funds to works of art, there are various factors that need to be considered. The balance between supporting the arts and addressing urgent needs in other crucial sectors remains a complex decision for governments to make.”