Some people that a lot of scientific research done today is a waste of time and money . To what extent do you agree disagree
Some people that a lot of scientific research done today is a waste of time and money . To what extent do you agree disagree
Some people belief that the investment science and technology are completely correct . However , many people argue that we are a waste of time and money in a lot of scientific research for today . Personally I completely support both this opinion .
On the one hand , a scientific discovery is time-consuming in now . Firstly ,To research a good and lasting result takes a lot of time and effort to test. Secondaly ,The science and technology researched is not useful and convenient for the current 4.0 socialization stage.Finally , There are new, unfinished studies that take a long time to complete and test. For instance , The number of student graduate university want to research about one problem in society and technology , they must read many book and tested many time.
On the other hand , a lot of scientific research done today are various important for society and human . One reason is that Medical research helps people cure diseases that seem simple but are very harmful to humans.Furthermore, it is reseached about the increase crop productivity in agriculture, and invent suitable utilities from the source of money and application in each product. For example , We can see clearly like the recent covid-19, scientists around the world have to continuously find the best anti-virus vaccines to save the world from the risk of mass death.
In conclusion , for the reasons i have mentioned above , i strongly believe that the sicence reseach are advantage and disadvantage for socity now , and i support both view .
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Some people belief" -> "Some people believe"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "belief" to "believe" ensures grammatical accuracy and professionalism in academic writing. -
"the investment science and technology are completely correct" -> "the investment in science and technology is entirely justified"
Explanation: Replacing "completely correct" with "entirely justified" provides a more precise and academically appropriate term that conveys the idea of justification rather than correctness, which is more specific to the context of investment. -
"a waste of time and money" -> "a misuse of resources"
Explanation: "Misuse of resources" is a more formal and precise term that avoids the colloquial tone of "waste of time and money," aligning better with academic style. -
"Personally I completely support both this opinion" -> "I fully endorse both perspectives"
Explanation: "Fully endorse" is a more formal expression than "completely support," and "perspectives" is a more academic term than "opinion," enhancing the formality of the statement. -
"a scientific discovery is time-consuming in now" -> "scientific discoveries are time-consuming"
Explanation: Removing "in now" corrects the grammatical structure and simplifies the phrase, making it more direct and clear in an academic context. -
"Secondaly" -> "Secondly"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "Secondaly" to "Secondly" maintains the professionalism and accuracy of the text. -
"The science and technology researched is not useful" -> "The research in science and technology is not useful"
Explanation: Adding "in" before "science and technology" corrects the prepositional error, improving the grammatical structure and clarity. -
"4.0 socialization stage" -> "4.0 era"
Explanation: "Era" is a more precise and formal term than "socialization stage," which is vague and less commonly used in academic discourse. -
"There are new, unfinished studies that take a long time to complete and test" -> "There are ongoing, unfinished studies that require extensive time and testing"
Explanation: "Ongoing" and "require extensive time and testing" provide a clearer and more formal description of the nature of the studies, enhancing the academic tone. -
"The number of student graduate university" -> "The number of students graduating from universities"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical structure and using "graduating from universities" instead of "graduate university" improves the sentence’s clarity and formality. -
"reseached" -> "researched"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "reseached" to "researched" maintains the professionalism and accuracy of the text. -
"increase crop productivity in agriculture" -> "enhance crop productivity in agriculture"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise and formal term than "increase" in the context of improving agricultural productivity, aligning better with academic language. -
"invent suitable utilities from the source of money and application in each product" -> "develop practical applications from the resources and apply them to each product"
Explanation: "Develop practical applications" is a more precise and formal way to describe the process of creating useful products from resources, replacing the vague and awkward original phrase. -
"We can see clearly like the recent covid-19" -> "We can see clearly, as with the recent COVID-19"
Explanation: Adding "as with" corrects the grammatical structure and provides a clearer, more formal transition between ideas, aligning with academic writing standards. -
"i have mentioned above" -> "I have mentioned above"
Explanation: Capitalizing "I" corrects the grammatical error, ensuring proper formality and adherence to standard English conventions. -
"the sicence reseach are advantage and disadvantage for socity now" -> "scientific research has both advantages and disadvantages for society today"
Explanation: Correcting spelling errors, improving grammar, and using more precise vocabulary ("has both advantages and disadvantages") enhances the clarity and formality of the conclusion.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding scientific research. However, it lacks clarity in distinguishing between the two positions. The phrase "I completely support both this opinion" is confusing and does not clearly articulate a stance. The essay does not adequately explore the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the notion that scientific research is a waste of time and money.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph reflects that stance. For example, they could choose to agree or disagree and then provide reasons and examples that support that choice throughout the essay.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles with maintaining a clear position. The introduction suggests a dual support for both views, which creates ambiguity. While the body paragraphs attempt to provide arguments for both sides, they do not effectively reinforce a singular viewpoint, leading to confusion about the writer’s actual stance.
- How to improve: The writer should choose a definitive position (agree or disagree) and consistently support that throughout the essay. They can use phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" to reinforce their viewpoint and ensure that each argument presented aligns with that position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the time-consuming nature of scientific research and its societal benefits, but these ideas are not well-developed. For instance, the mention of medical research and its importance is a strong point, but it lacks depth and specific examples that would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the use of vague phrases like "a lot of scientific research" does not provide clarity or specificity.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with specific examples and explanations. For instance, instead of saying "medical research helps people cure diseases," they could provide a specific disease and explain how recent research has contributed to its treatment. This would provide a clearer and more compelling argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the topic, particularly in the introduction where the phrase "the investment science and technology are completely correct" does not directly relate to the prompt. Additionally, the conclusion introduces the idea of both advantages and disadvantages without clearly tying it back to the prompt’s focus on whether research is a waste of time and money.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every part of the essay directly addresses the prompt. They can do this by frequently referring back to the question and ensuring that each argument made is relevant to the central theme of whether scientific research is a waste of time and money. A clear outline before writing can help in staying on topic.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is hindered by unclear connections between ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the time-consuming nature of scientific research to its societal importance lacks clarity. The argument could be better organized to clearly delineate the pros and cons of scientific research.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using a clearer structure such as presenting all arguments for one side before moving to the other. Additionally, using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main idea being discussed. For example, start the first body paragraph with a clear statement about the drawbacks of scientific research, followed by supporting details.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first body paragraph mixes several ideas without clear separation, making it difficult for the reader to follow. The second paragraph, while more focused, still lacks a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main argument.
- How to improve: Improve paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes the point being made. For instance, the first body paragraph could begin with, "Many believe that scientific research is often a waste of resources due to its lengthy and uncertain outcomes."
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the one hand," and "Furthermore." However, the use of these devices is limited and sometimes awkward, leading to a disjointed reading experience. For example, "Firstly" is used but not followed by a clear second point, which disrupts the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "In addition," "Moreover," or "Conversely" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that each point logically follows from the previous one. For example, after stating a drawback, you could transition to a counterpoint with "However," to indicate a shift in perspective.
By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "scientific discovery," "medical research," and "crop productivity." However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "scientific research" and "science and technology." Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "the investment science and technology are completely correct," which detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "scientific research," they could incorporate terms like "scientific inquiry," "experimentation," or "research endeavors." Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary would help elevate the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "a waste of time and money in a lot of scientific research for today," which could be more clearly articulated. The phrase "the science and technology researched is not useful" is vague and lacks specificity. Furthermore, "the number of student graduate university" is grammatically incorrect and confusing.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For instance, instead of saying "a waste of time and money," they could specify what types of research they consider wasteful. Additionally, ensuring grammatical accuracy will help improve clarity. The phrase could be revised to "the number of university graduates who wish to conduct research on societal and technological issues."
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "belief" (should be "believe"), "secondaly" (should be "secondly"), "reseached" (should be "researched"), "sicence" (should be "science"), and "socity" (should be "society"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that highlight errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can help catch these mistakes. The writer could also benefit from creating a list of commonly misspelled words to review and memorize.
By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For instance, phrases like "a scientific discovery is time-consuming in now" and "a lot of scientific research done today are various important for society and human" exhibit basic grammatical constructions. There are few complex sentences, which would enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "a scientific discovery is time-consuming in now," you could rephrase it as, "Although scientific discoveries can be time-consuming, they are essential for progress." Additionally, using a variety of sentence openings and transitions can help create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "Some people belief" should be "Some people believe," and "the investment science and technology are completely correct" lacks clarity and correct structure. Punctuation errors, such as the inconsistent use of commas (e.g., "Firstly ,To research" should be "Firstly, to research"), also detract from the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("a lot of scientific research done today are" should be "is") and verb forms ("reseached" should be "researched"). Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas and periods, will improve clarity. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct mistakes before submission.
Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, addressing these grammatical and structural weaknesses will significantly improve the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
Some people believe that the investment in science and technology is entirely justified. However, many argue that a significant amount of scientific research conducted today is a misuse of resources. Personally, I fully endorse both perspectives.
On the one hand, scientific discoveries are time-consuming. Firstly, to achieve meaningful and lasting results requires considerable time and effort for testing. Secondly, the research in science and technology is not always useful or convenient for the current 4.0 era of socialization. Finally, there are ongoing, unfinished studies that require extensive time and testing to complete. For instance, the number of students graduating from universities who wish to research a particular problem in society and technology must read many books and conduct numerous tests.
On the other hand, a lot of scientific research done today is vitally important for society and humanity. One reason is that medical research helps people cure diseases that may seem simple but can be very harmful. Furthermore, research is being conducted to enhance crop productivity in agriculture and to develop practical applications from the resources and apply them to each product. For example, we can see clearly, as with the recent COVID-19 pandemic, that scientists around the world had to continuously find the best antiviral vaccines to save the world from the risk of mass death.
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that scientific research has both advantages and disadvantages for society today, and I support both views.