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Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others say that having a friendly relationship is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others say that having a friendly relationship is better.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are differing opinions regarding the issue of the relationship between teachers and students. While some argue that it is preferable for students to respect their teachers, I believe that they should have a harmonious relationship.

There are various reasons why people believe that an intimidating teacher would be better for classroom management. Evidently, an intimidating teacher may be able to maintain discipline more effectively, ensuring that students follow rules and behave appropriately.This creates a conducive learning environment where students can focus on their studies. For instance, at Harvard University, professors will impose harsh punishments for their undergraduates who don’t complete the essay on time or have disrespectful behaviour with the tutors.Additionally, if students fear their teachers, they tend to avoid asking questions, therefore they may try harder and with more intention in the lesson. For example, a student who is afraid of their teacher may hesitate to ask questions for fear of being reprimanded. This fear of making mistakes can motivate them to put in extra effort and pay closer attention in order to avoid any negative consequences.

In spite of these arguments, I believe that we should create a close bond between teacher and student to cultivate a supportive environment. Firstly, it is vitally important to foster a positive learning environment where students can freely voice their opinions to enrich the lesson. Evidently, if professors empower their pupils to express their thoughts and ideas, it encourages active participation and engagement in the classroom. Finally, when they have a friendly relationship with their teacher, it fosters a harmonious classroom environment which means that the teacher may gain the respect and admiration of their students.

In conclusion, despite the existence of various viewpoints on teacher-student relationships, I personally support the second view, the friendly nature of the relationship.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "There are differing opinions" -> "Divergent opinions exist"
    Explanation: Replacing "There are differing opinions" with "Divergent opinions exist" adds formality and precision to the statement, aligning with academic style.

  2. "it is preferable for students to respect their teachers" -> "students should exhibit respect towards their teachers"
    Explanation: Substituting "it is preferable for students to respect their teachers" with "students should exhibit respect towards their teachers" introduces a more formal and direct expression, adhering to academic conventions.

  3. "harmonious relationship" -> "mutually beneficial relationship"
    Explanation: Changing "harmonious relationship" to "mutually beneficial relationship" provides a more specific and nuanced description, elevating the language and maintaining formality.

  4. "There are various reasons" -> "Several factors contribute"
    Explanation: Replacing "There are various reasons" with "Several factors contribute" enhances the precision and formality of the statement, offering a more academic tone.

  5. "Evidently" -> "Clearly"
    Explanation: Substituting "Evidently" with "Clearly" maintains clarity while using a more straightforward and formal transition word, suitable for academic writing.

  6. "professors will impose harsh punishments" -> "professors may enforce strict consequences"
    Explanation: Changing "professors will impose harsh punishments" to "professors may enforce strict consequences" introduces a more nuanced and speculative tone, aligning with academic writing norms.

  7. "undergraduates who don’t complete the essay on time or have disrespectful behaviour with the tutors" -> "undergraduates who fail to submit assignments punctually or exhibit disrespectful behavior towards tutors"
    Explanation: The revised phrase provides a more detailed and formal expression, avoiding colloquial language and enhancing precision.

  8. "if students fear their teachers" -> "when students regard their teachers with apprehension"
    Explanation: Substituting "if students fear their teachers" with "when students regard their teachers with apprehension" employs a more formal and precise language choice, suitable for academic discourse.

  9. "try harder and with more intention in the lesson" -> "exert greater effort and focus during the lesson"
    Explanation: Replacing "try harder and with more intention in the lesson" with "exert greater effort and focus during the lesson" introduces a more formal and precise description of students’ behavior.

  10. "a student who is afraid of their teacher" -> "a student who harbors fear of their teacher"
    Explanation: Changing "a student who is afraid of their teacher" to "a student who harbors fear of their teacher" uses a more formal and refined expression without sacrificing clarity.

  11. "In spite of these arguments" -> "Nevertheless"
    Explanation: Substituting "In spite of these arguments" with "Nevertheless" provides a concise and formal transition, enhancing the coherence of the paragraph.

  12. "it is vitally important" -> "it is imperative"
    Explanation: Replacing "it is vitally important" with "it is imperative" maintains formality and introduces a stronger and more authoritative tone, fitting for academic writing.

  13. "Evidently" -> "Clearly"
    Explanation: Replacing the second instance of "Evidently" with "Clearly" maintains consistency in language and offers a more direct transition.

  14. "if professors empower their pupils" -> "when professors empower their students"
    Explanation: Changing "if professors empower their pupils" to "when professors empower their students" introduces a more formal and precise language choice, aligning with academic style.

  15. "despite the existence of various viewpoints" -> "notwithstanding the diversity of perspectives"
    Explanation: Substituting "despite the existence of various viewpoints" with "notwithstanding the diversity of perspectives" enhances formality and provides a more sophisticated expression of the idea.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives presented in the prompt. It discusses the belief that an intimidating teacher is better for classroom management and presents arguments in favor of this view. Additionally, it explores the idea of a friendly relationship between teachers and students, providing reasons to support this perspective. The author also concludes by clearly expressing their own opinion. However, the analysis of the first perspective could be more comprehensive, addressing potential counterarguments and providing a more nuanced exploration.

    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, consider delving deeper into the arguments supporting the belief that an intimidating teacher is preferable. Discuss potential drawbacks or counterarguments to provide a more balanced analysis.

  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout. The author clearly expresses a preference for a friendly relationship between teachers and students. Each paragraph contributes to reinforcing this stance, creating a cohesive and well-structured argument.

    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of your position, consider explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. This ensures that readers have a clear understanding of your stance from the beginning to the end.

  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and develops ideas, offering specific examples to support each viewpoint. The arguments are well-elaborated, such as the discussion on classroom management and discipline, and the benefits of a positive learning environment. However, some instances lack elaboration, such as the mention of harsh punishments at Harvard University. Providing more details and examples can enhance the depth of your argument.

    • How to improve: Strengthen your arguments by providing more detailed examples and expanding on certain points. This will help to thoroughly develop your ideas and provide a more comprehensive understanding for the reader.

  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but has a slight deviation when discussing punishments at Harvard University. While the example adds context, it could be more directly related to the topic of teacher-student relationships. Ensure that all examples directly contribute to supporting your main points.

    • How to improve: When using examples, make sure they directly relate to the topic at hand. If discussing punishments, connect them explicitly to the impact on the teacher-student relationship to maintain focus and relevance.

In conclusion, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a well-structured argument with clear ideas and examples. To improve, consider providing more comprehensive analyses, explicitly stating your opinion, expanding on certain points, and ensuring all examples directly support the topic. Overall, a strong and well-supported response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically by presenting both views in the introduction and then discussing each perspective in separate body paragraphs. However, there is room for improvement in the second body paragraph where the discussion on the benefits of an intimidating teacher could be more clearly linked to the opposing view.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph’s content directly connects to the main point and the overall argument. In the second body paragraph, establish a smoother transition between the benefits of an intimidating teacher and the counterargument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure its content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Maintain the effective use of paragraphs and consider refining the topic sentences to more explicitly convey the main point of each paragraph. This will provide readers with a clearer roadmap of the essay’s structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a reasonable range of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the transition between discussing the benefits of an intimidating teacher and presenting the counterargument is somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance cohesion, use a wider variety of cohesive devices and pay particular attention to transitions between paragraphs. Introduce each new idea with clear connections to the previous one to create a seamless flow throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, earning a band score of 6. To improve, focus on refining the logical organization of ideas, maintaining effective paragraph structure, and enhancing the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions between different sections of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and expressions, such as "harmonious relationship," "conducive learning environment," "reprimanded," and "empower." However, the vocabulary lacks consistency and sophistication. The repetition of certain terms, like "fear" and "relationship," indicates a limited lexical repertoire.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, consider incorporating more diverse synonyms and expressions throughout the essay. Instead of relying on certain terms repeatedly, explore alternative vocabulary to convey similar meanings. For instance, you can use synonyms for "fear," such as "apprehension" or "anxiety," and vary the language used to describe relationships.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use vocabulary with some precision, but there are instances of imprecise language. For example, the phrase "ensure that students follow rules and behave appropriately" could be more specific. Additionally, the term "harmonious relationship" is used broadly without specifying the elements that contribute to harmony.
    • How to improve: Strive for more precise language by specifying details. Instead of using general terms, provide concrete examples or characteristics. For instance, describe specific actions that teachers can take to maintain discipline, or elaborate on the components of a "harmonious relationship" to make the expression more precise and impactful.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates correct spelling throughout. However, there are a few instances where small errors exist, such as in the phrase "with the tutors." The correct preposition here should be "to," as in "with the tutors."
    • How to improve: Continue to be vigilant about spelling accuracy. Proofread your work carefully, paying attention to small details like prepositions. Consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, make it a habit to review and revise your writing to ensure that all words are spelled correctly.

In summary, while the essay displays an adequate command of vocabulary, improvements can be made by enhancing the range and precision of language. Additionally, maintaining meticulous attention to spelling accuracy will contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures. It employs simple, compound, and complex sentences, enhancing the overall readability. For instance, there are clear instances of complex sentences, such as "While some argue that it is preferable for students to respect their teachers, I believe that they should have a harmonious relationship." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the sentence structures further, especially in the body paragraphs where some sentences follow a similar pattern.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and varying sentence lengths. Introduce elements like relative clauses, appositives, or conditional sentences to add sophistication to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference could be improved. For example, "if students fear their teachers, they tend to avoid asking questions" might benefit from specifying the subject (e.g., "if students fear their teachers, the students tend to avoid asking questions"). Additionally, there’s a slight issue with the punctuation in "This fear of making mistakes can motivate them to put in extra effort and pay closer attention in order to avoid any negative consequences" where a more nuanced use of punctuation (e.g., em dashes or commas) could improve clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure clarity in pronoun references. Also, consider using varied punctuation marks to convey more nuanced meanings. In the example above, experimenting with em dashes or commas can enhance the overall readability and flow of the sentence.

Overall, the essay exhibits a solid grasp of grammatical structures and punctuation. By incorporating the suggested improvements, you can further elevate the sophistication and precision of your writing. Keep practicing and diversifying your sentence structures while refining grammar and punctuation skills for continued improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are divergent opinions on the matter of the relationship between teachers and students. While some argue that students should exhibit respect towards their teachers, I believe that a mutually beneficial relationship is more desirable.

Several factors contribute to the belief that having an intimidating teacher is advantageous for classroom management. Clearly, an intimidating teacher may effectively maintain discipline, ensuring that students adhere to rules and behave appropriately. This, in turn, creates a conducive learning environment where students can focus on their studies. For example, at Harvard University, professors may enforce strict consequences for undergraduates who fail to submit assignments punctually or exhibit disrespectful behavior towards tutors. Moreover, when students regard their teachers with apprehension, they may exert greater effort and focus during the lesson, as the fear of negative consequences motivates them to avoid mistakes.

Nevertheless, it is imperative to consider the benefits of fostering a friendly relationship between teachers and students. Clearly, creating a positive learning environment where students feel comfortable voicing their opinions enriches the lesson. Professors who empower their students to express their thoughts and ideas encourage active participation and engagement in the classroom. Additionally, a harmonious relationship fosters an environment where teachers may gain the respect and admiration of their students.

In conclusion, despite the diversity of perspectives on teacher-student relationships, I personally support the view that favors a friendly and supportive connection between teachers and students.

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