Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both view and state your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both view and state your opinion.
While it is believed that hosting an international sports competition is a valued responsibility of each country because of the advantages of it, others argue that it is not good. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoint before showing my final thoughts.
On the one hand, this will increase in worldwide exposure. This is because it can be conceded major events are likely to draw global attention to be hosting nations which is a golden prospect for them to promote cultures and traditions. For instance, profile of Germany has been significant popular after Euro 2024. Furthermore, there will be several economic benefits through this events. As mega events generate a myriad of job and open opportunities for local residents. Besides, it can attract numerous tourists leading to it creating a boost in development of tourism and contribute to hosting country’s GDP .
On the other hand, it has adverse impacts on the environment. For example government constructs new and spacious stadiums to meet the demand. As a result there are significant environmental consequences like habitat destruction and carbon footprint. Additionally, it can be a waste of money. For example government allocate money for construction, workforce and maintenance. For my perspective, it will better to spend on key sectors such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure for sustainable development.
In conclusion, while holding events brings a number of drawbacks for the host country, it is still beneficial in terms of prestige and global relationships.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some people think" -> "Some individuals believe"
Explanation: Replacing "think" with "believe" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning better with academic writing standards.
"is good for the country" -> "is beneficial for the nation"
Explanation: "Beneficial" is more precise and formal than "good," and "nation" is a more formal term than "country" in academic contexts.
"it is bad" -> "it is detrimental"
Explanation: "Detrimental" is a more precise and formal term than "bad," which is too vague and informal for academic writing.
"While it is believed" -> "While it is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: "Widely acknowledged" is more specific and formal than "believed," which can imply a personal opinion rather than a general consensus.
"this will increase in worldwide exposure" -> "this will enhance global exposure"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise verb than "increase" in this context, and "global" is preferred over "worldwide" for formal writing.
"can be conceded major events are likely to draw" -> "it is acknowledged that major events are likely to attract"
Explanation: "It is acknowledged" is more formal and precise than "can be conceded," and "attract" is more specific than "draw" in this context.
"golden prospect" -> "significant opportunity"
Explanation: "Significant opportunity" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "golden prospect," which is somewhat colloquial.
"profile of Germany has been significant popular" -> "Germany’s profile has become significantly more popular"
Explanation: The revised phrase corrects the grammatical error and enhances clarity and formality.
"there will be several economic benefits through this events" -> "there will be several economic benefits from these events"
Explanation: "From" is the correct preposition to use with "benefits" in this context, and "these" is the correct demonstrative pronoun to use with "events" in the plural form.
"As mega events generate a myriad of job" -> "As mega events create numerous job opportunities"
Explanation: "Create numerous job opportunities" is grammatically correct and more formal than "generate a myriad of job," which is awkward and less precise.
"it can attract numerous tourists leading to it creating a boost" -> "it can attract numerous tourists, thereby boosting"
Explanation: "Thereby boosting" is more concise and formal than the original phrase, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"it has adverse impacts on the environment" -> "it has adverse environmental impacts"
Explanation: Adding "environmental" clarifies the type of impacts being discussed, enhancing specificity and formality.
"government constructs new and spacious stadiums" -> "governments construct new and spacious stadiums"
Explanation: "Governments" is plural to match the context of multiple countries hosting events, and "construct" is more formal than "constructs" in this context.
"it can be a waste of money" -> "it may be a misuse of funds"
Explanation: "Misuse of funds" is a more precise and formal term than "waste of money," which is somewhat colloquial.
"For my perspective" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is the correct idiomatic expression, whereas "For my perspective" is grammatically incorrect.
"it will better to spend" -> "it would be better to spend"
Explanation: "Would be" is the correct modal auxiliary verb to use in this context, indicating a hypothetical or recommended action.
"it is still beneficial in terms of prestige and global relationships" -> "it remains advantageous in terms of prestige and global relationships"
Explanation: "Remains advantageous" is a more formal and precise way to express ongoing benefits, replacing the less formal "still beneficial."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the hosting of international sports events. The first paragraph outlines the positive aspects, such as increased global exposure and economic benefits, while the second paragraph discusses the negative impacts, including environmental concerns and financial waste. However, the response could be more balanced; the positive side is elaborated more than the negative, which might lead to an impression of bias.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the writer could provide more detailed examples and explanations for the negative aspects. For instance, elaborating on specific environmental issues or providing statistics on financial losses could strengthen the argument against hosting such events.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the conclusion, stating that while there are drawbacks, hosting events can be beneficial. However, the transition to the personal opinion is somewhat abrupt and lacks a strong connection to the previously discussed points. The phrase "For my perspective" is awkward and does not clearly signal a transition to the author’s opinion.
- How to improve: The writer should use clearer transitional phrases to indicate when they are presenting their opinion. Additionally, reinforcing the opinion throughout the essay with consistent references to the earlier points would help maintain clarity and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as increased exposure and economic benefits, but some points lack depth. For example, the mention of Germany’s profile after Euro 2024 is vague and could be better supported with specific data or examples of cultural promotion. Similarly, the economic benefits are mentioned but not thoroughly explained.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and statistics to support their claims. For instance, citing specific figures related to job creation or tourism revenue could enhance the argument’s credibility. Additionally, extending the discussion on environmental impacts with examples of specific events that caused harm would provide a more rounded view.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay remains focused on the topic, discussing both views of hosting international sports events. However, there are moments where the relevance could be improved, particularly in the conclusion, which could better summarize the discussion instead of introducing new ideas about prestige and global relationships.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that the conclusion succinctly reflects the arguments made in the body paragraphs without introducing new concepts. A brief recap of the main points discussed would help reinforce the essay’s focus and provide a stronger closure.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, there is room for improvement in terms of balance, clarity of opinion, depth of support, and focus. By addressing these areas, the writer could enhance the overall effectiveness of their response and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by discussing both viewpoints regarding the hosting of international sports events. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are organized to present arguments for and against the topic. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is appropriately used, but the subsequent transition to "On the other hand" could be more explicitly linked to the previous paragraph to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits, a sentence like "Despite these advantages, there are significant drawbacks that must be considered" could provide a clearer transition to the opposing viewpoint.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The first body paragraph addresses the positive impacts of hosting international sports events, while the second discusses the negative consequences. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first paragraph is relatively longer and more detailed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the presentation of arguments.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by ensuring that each paragraph provides a similar level of detail and analysis. For instance, the second paragraph could include additional examples or elaboration on the negative impacts, such as specific instances of environmental degradation or financial mismanagement in past events.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "besides," and "furthermore," which help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "As a result" is used, but it could be more effectively linked to the specific consequences mentioned earlier in the paragraph.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, using "Moreover" to introduce additional points or "Conversely" when presenting opposing arguments can enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device clearly reflects the relationship between the ideas being connected, which will improve overall clarity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion, but with some adjustments in transitions, paragraph balance, and the variety of cohesive devices, it could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in phrases like "worldwide exposure," "economic benefits," and "adverse impacts." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in expression. For instance, the term "hosting" is used multiple times without synonyms or alternative phrases, which could enhance the lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "golden prospect" and "myriad of job" are somewhat clichéd or awkwardly constructed, which detracts from the overall impression.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "hosting," alternatives like "organizing" or "conducting" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to economics and environmental issues would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "this will increase in worldwide exposure" is awkward and unclear; it would be more precise to say "this will increase worldwide exposure." Furthermore, the phrase "profile of Germany has been significant popular" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The use of "it can be conceded" is also vague and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and grammatical correctness. Revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that phrases convey the intended meaning clearly will enhance the overall precision of vocabulary. For example, rephrasing to "Germany’s profile has become significantly more popular" would clarify the intended message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "viewpoint" (which should be "viewpoints"), "this events" (which should be "these events"), and "government allocate" (which should be "government allocates"). These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary and terms related to the essay topic will build confidence and accuracy in writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "this will increase in worldwide exposure" and "it can attract numerous tourists" showcases an attempt to employ different grammatical forms. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied and sophisticated. For example, the sentence "this will increase in worldwide exposure" could be rephrased for clarity and impact, such as "hosting such events significantly enhances a country’s global visibility."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying, "it can attract numerous tourists leading to it creating a boost in development of tourism," the writer could say, "it can attract numerous tourists, which subsequently boosts the development of the tourism sector." Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can enhance variety. Practicing sentence transformation exercises can help in achieving this goal.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a fair level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "this will increase in worldwide exposure" is awkwardly constructed and should be revised for grammatical correctness. Additionally, the sentence "As mega events generate a myriad of job and open opportunities for local residents" contains a subject-verb agreement error; it should be "a myriad of jobs." Punctuation is generally correct, but there are some missing commas that could improve readability, such as before "for example" and "besides."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used to separate clauses and introductory phrases can improve overall clarity. For instance, revising "For example government constructs new and spacious stadiums" to "For example, the government constructs new and spacious stadiums" would enhance grammatical correctness.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical structures and punctuation, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
While it is believed that hosting an international sports competition is a valued responsibility of each country because of its advantages, others argue that it is not good. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints before showing my final thoughts.
On the one hand, this will enhance global exposure. This is because it can be acknowledged that major events are likely to draw global attention to the hosting nations, which is a golden opportunity for them to promote their cultures and traditions. For instance, Germany’s profile has become significantly more popular after Euro 2024. Furthermore, there will be several economic benefits from these events. As mega events create numerous job opportunities, they open doors for local residents. Besides, it can attract numerous tourists, thereby boosting the development of tourism and contributing to the hosting country’s GDP.
On the other hand, it has adverse impacts on the environment. For example, governments construct new and spacious stadiums to meet the demand. As a result, there are significant environmental consequences like habitat destruction and an increased carbon footprint. Additionally, it may be a misuse of funds. For example, governments allocate money for construction, workforce, and maintenance. From my perspective, it would be better to spend on key sectors such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure for sustainable development.
In conclusion, while holding events brings a number of drawbacks for the host country, it remains advantageous in terms of prestige and global relationships.