Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Hosting international sports events is a huge accomplishment for any nation but whether hosting such events is good or bad for a country depends on various factors. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the issue.

The chance of hosting international sports events tends to bring a lot of attention not just to the game but also to the country and city. This attention can be monetized in the forms of investments and infrastructure that these events bring. For example, a case in point is Vietnam, which registered a year-on-year escalation in the quantity of jobs created during Sea Games 22, particularly in the hosting region. As a result, inhabitants in those areas can gain large amounts of income from thriving tourism.This shows that if properly done the city can gain a huge extent of respect and looks stable and can attract further investment into it.

If done improperly this could also cause a lot of problems like spending money on unnecessary infrastructure that would be obsolete after the event can also the corruption and damage the reputation of said country. For example, Brazil hosted the Olympics in 2014 for which luxury hotels were built and a big wall to cover the slums next to these centres, and rampant corruption was found across all the contracts for these events. This shows that countries can overspend and build useless infrastructure that will be of no use after the event.

In conclusion, we can say hosting international sports competitions has both good and bad effects on the country that is hosting it. And that if properly planned it could help the country portray itself in a good light and attract investment while corruption and overspending could cause problems instead of attracting more investments and increase the financial burden of the country.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Hosting international sports events is a huge accomplishment for any nation but whether hosting such events is good or bad for a country depends on various factors." -> "Hosting international sports events is a significant achievement for any nation; however, the impact of such events on a country’s well-being depends on various factors."
Explanation: Replacing "a huge accomplishment" with "a significant achievement" and restructuring the sentence enhances formality and clarity. Additionally, the semicolon helps to convey a more sophisticated connection between the two clauses.
"The chance of hosting international sports events tends to bring a lot of attention not just to the game but also to the country and city." -> "The opportunity to host international sports events not only garners attention for the game itself but also for the hosting country and city."
Explanation: Substituting "chance" with "opportunity" and refining the sentence structure contribute to a more formal and precise expression. The use of "garners attention" adds a touch of formality.
"This attention can be monetized in the forms of investments and infrastructure that these events bring." -> "This attention can be capitalized upon through investments and infrastructure developments that accompany these events."
Explanation: Replacing "monetized in the forms of" with "capitalized upon through" and simplifying the sentence structure improves the academic tone and eliminates unnecessary wording.
"For example, a case in point is Vietnam, which registered a year-on-year escalation in the quantity of jobs created during Sea Games 22, particularly in the hosting region." -> "For example, consider Vietnam, which witnessed a year-on-year increase in the number of jobs created during Sea Games 22, especially in the hosting region."
Explanation: The phrase "a case in point is" is replaced with "consider," and "quantity of jobs" is refined to "number of jobs," enhancing formality and precision.
"As a result, inhabitants in those areas can gain large amounts of income from thriving tourism." -> "Consequently, residents in those areas can derive substantial income from the flourishing tourism."
Explanation: Replacing "gain large amounts of income" with "derive substantial income" contributes to a more formal tone, and the use of "consequently" improves the logical flow of the sentence.
"If done improperly this could also cause a lot of problems like spending money on unnecessary infrastructure that would be obsolete after the event can also the corruption and damage the reputation of said country." -> "Improper execution could lead to various issues, such as investing in unnecessary infrastructure that becomes obsolete after the event, fostering corruption, and tarnishing the reputation of the host country."
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision, replacing "a lot of problems like" with "various issues, such as," and refining expressions like "spending money on unnecessary infrastructure" enhance the overall formality and effectiveness of the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay comprehensively addresses both sides of the given prompt. The introduction sets up the discussion, and each body paragraph examines a different perspective. The conclusion neatly summarizes the key points while reiterating the dual nature of the impact of hosting international sports events. Specific examples, such as the case of Vietnam and Brazil, are used to support the analysis.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively covers both views, adding a sentence in the introduction explicitly stating the writer’s opinion could enhance the clarity of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. The writer’s stance on the topic is evident from the beginning, and each paragraph supports this position with relevant examples and reasoning. The conclusion reinforces the established viewpoint without introducing new ideas.
- How to improve: No specific improvement is necessary for this criterion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas relevant to the prompt and extends them through detailed examples. The discussion on the positive impact of hosting sports events, using Vietnam as an example, and the negative consequences, illustrated by Brazil’s case, is thorough. The ideas are well-supported with specific instances and reasoning.
- How to improve: Consider incorporating a broader range of vocabulary to further enhance the depth of the analysis. Additionally, ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs for improved cohesion.
Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a strong focus on the topic throughout. Each paragraph contributes directly to the discussion of whether hosting international sports events is beneficial or detrimental to a country. There are no significant deviations or irrelevant details.
- How to improve: No specific improvement is necessary for this criterion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing each checklist item. To enhance the response, the writer could explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and consider refining vocabulary and sentence structures for a more polished presentation.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization with a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, with the introduction presenting the topic, body paragraphs discussing different aspects, and the conclusion summarizing the main points. For instance, the introduction sets the stage by mentioning the dependence of the impact on various factors, and subsequent paragraphs expand on the positive and negative aspects.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph builds smoothly on the previous one, creating a seamless flow of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to the clarity of topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay more effectively.
Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: Paragraphing is generally effective, with mostly logical idea sequencing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, aiding the reader’s comprehension. However, some areas could benefit from more explicit connections between ideas to improve overall coherence.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph transitions by explicitly connecting the ideas from one paragraph to the next. Consider incorporating more transitional phrases or sentences to ensure a smoother flow between different points. Additionally, review the structure of each paragraph to ensure a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a flexible use of cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. There is a good variety of linking words and phrases that guide the reader through the different arguments. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more precise to avoid potential confusion.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to the accuracy and appropriateness of cohesive devices. Ensure that each linking word or phrase serves a specific purpose and connects ideas logically. This precision will strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures for added clarity and engagement.

In conclusion, the essay has achieved a Band Score of 7 for Coherence and Cohesion, indicating a commendable level of organization and coherence. To further improve, focus on refining transitions, strengthening paragraph connections, and enhancing the precision of cohesive devices to elevate the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at employing a variety of vocabulary. There’s usage of diverse phrases like "escalation in the quantity," "monetized," and "rampant corruption," showcasing an attempt at nuanced expression.
- How to improve: To enhance further, aim for more sophisticated and contextually fitting vocabulary. Instead of relying solely on phrases like "huge accomplishment," explore alternatives like "significant milestone" or "remarkable achievement" for greater lexical diversity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally communicates effectively, there are moments where precision lacks, such as in the phrase "a year-on-year escalation in the quantity of jobs." The term "quantity" is somewhat vague and could benefit from a more precise term like "surge" or "growth."
- How to improve: Practice using more precise terms to convey ideas clearly. For instance, instead of using general terms like "problems" or "big wall," opt for specific vocabulary like "challenges" or "barriers" to refine meaning.
Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate spelling, with only occasional errors that minimally affect communication. There are a few minor issues like "can also the corruption," which seems like a typographical error.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, proofreading the essay carefully or using spelling and grammar tools could help catch these minor errors before submission.

The essay showcases a decent command of vocabulary, with room for improvement in both variety and precision. To elevate the lexical resource score, focus on incorporating a wider array of sophisticated vocabulary while striving for more precise and contextually appropriate word choices throughout the essay. Additionally, maintaining vigilance over spelling through thorough proofreading will further bolster the overall quality of written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, incorporating complex forms with reasonable flexibility and accuracy. For instance, the author utilizes a mix of compound and complex sentences, contributing to a smooth flow of ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the deployment of more sophisticated structures, such as inversion or conditional sentences, which could elevate the essay to a higher band.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating advanced sentence forms. For instance, integrating inverted sentences for emphasis or experimenting with conditional structures could add sophistication. An increased variety will contribute to a more engaging and nuanced expression of ideas.
Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly showcases grammatical accuracy, with most sentences being error-free. However, occasional minor errors are present, which prevent it from reaching the next band level. Instances of subject-verb agreement and article usage could be refined for greater precision. These errors, though infrequent, slightly affect the overall grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To attain a higher band score, focus on meticulous proofreading, paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Reviewing these aspects will help eliminate minor errors, ensuring consistently precise grammar throughout the essay.
Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs well-controlled punctuation. Commas, periods, and other basic punctuation marks are used appropriately, contributing to overall clarity. However, there are instances where more sophisticated punctuation, such as semicolons or em dashes, could enhance the essay’s coherence and flow.
- How to improve: Integrate advanced punctuation marks, such as semicolons or em dashes, to add variety and precision to sentence structures. Ensure that these marks are used accurately and purposefully, contributing to a more sophisticated punctuation repertoire.

In summary, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical structures and punctuation, earning it a band score of 7. To improve, consider incorporating more advanced sentence structures and refining minor grammatical errors, ensuring a consistently polished and sophisticated expression of ideas. Additionally, exploring more nuanced punctuation options will further elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Hosting international sports events is undeniably a significant achievement for any nation. However, the impact of such events on a country’s well-being is contingent on various factors. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives on whether hosting international sports events is advantageous or detrimental to a country.

The opportunity to host international sports events not only draws attention to the game itself but also to the hosting country and city. This attention can be leveraged through investments and infrastructure developments accompanying these events. Take Vietnam as an illustrative example, where Sea Games 22 resulted in a notable year-on-year increase in job opportunities, particularly in the hosting region. Consequently, residents in those areas can derive substantial income from the flourishing tourism. This exemplifies that with proper execution, a city can earn respect, appear stable, and attract additional investments.

Conversely, improper execution could lead to various issues. For instance, investing in unnecessary infrastructure that becomes obsolete after the event may occur, fostering corruption and tarnishing the reputation of the host country. A pertinent example is Brazil’s hosting of the 2014 Olympics, where luxury hotels were constructed, and a large wall was erected to conceal slums next to these centers. Rampant corruption was uncovered in the contracts for these events, demonstrating how countries can overspend and build infrastructure that becomes redundant post-event.

In conclusion, hosting international sports competitions has both positive and negative effects on the host country. When adequately planned, it can help the country portray itself positively, attracting investments. However, corruption and overspending can lead to issues, potentially burdening the country financially instead of attracting further investments.