Some people think that housing is a basic need for people,governments should provide free housing for everyone who can’t afford.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that housing is a basic need for people,governments should provide free housing for everyone who can’t afford.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that a house is the basic necessities of humans to today’s lives.The question of whether governments should offer complimentary housing to its financially strained citizens is a continual debate.While i believe that the government holds accountability to provide housing,its ability is limited due to its financial resources.
On one hand,it is undeniable that the universal housing project could enhance social welfare.If the government were to allocate resources for this purpose,the homelessness rate would undoubtedly plummet,especially in crowded city like Ha Noi and Ho Chi Minh City.This actions not only fulfill citizen’s satisfaction,it also boost health conditions and safety places to live.However,the contradict point here is economic strain policy ,which mean it depend much more on national budget.Sufficient quality housing projects requires more land in capital,which could critically jeopardy other sectors such as healthcare or education.
On the other hand,there are a host of compelling reasons why free housing campaigns is not the most efficient way to solve the housing crisis in Vietnam.By supporting free housing ,it can create dependency among people.If free housing programs are designed to be long-term or permanent, individuals may become reliant on them for stability, reducing their incentive to seek employment or improve their economic situation.For example,many still pretend to be disabled to ask for charity when they can work.
To sum up,while the provision of free housing for people due to poverty is a good solution,it may not be the success way from government standpoint.It seems more practical way for authorities to foster affordable housing,by subsidizing citizen a halves of housing prices,this encourage personal responsibility ,ensuring that they not overly dependant on sponsored programs.This striked balanced between social welfare and economically,preparing for a long-term sustainable plans.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"It is believed that a house is the basic necessities of humans to today’s lives." -> "It is widely acknowledged that a house is a fundamental necessity for human life today."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammatical structure and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing. -
"complimentary housing" -> "complementary housing"
Explanation: "Complimentary" is typically used to describe something given as a gift or free of charge, whereas "complementary" means supplementary or additional. In this context, "complementary" is the correct term. -
"continual debate" -> "ongoing debate"
Explanation: "Continual" is often misused; "ongoing" is the correct term to describe something that continues without interruption. -
"its ability is limited" -> "its capabilities are limited"
Explanation: "Capabilities" is a more precise term than "ability" in this context, referring to the government’s resources and capacities. -
"it is undeniable" -> "it is undeniable that"
Explanation: Adding "that" after "undeniable" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more formal and complete. -
"the universal housing project" -> "a universal housing initiative"
Explanation: "Initiative" is a more precise term than "project" in this context, suggesting a proactive effort or plan. -
"plummet" -> "decline significantly"
Explanation: "Plummet" is an informal and somewhat dramatic term; "decline significantly" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"crowded city like Ha Noi and Ho Chi Minh City" -> "densely populated cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City"
Explanation: "Densely populated" is a more precise term than "crowded," and using "such as" instead of "like" is more formal. Also, proper nouns should be capitalized. -
"This actions" -> "These actions"
Explanation: "This" should be "These" to agree with the plural noun "actions." -
"boost health conditions" -> "improve health conditions"
Explanation: "Boost" is an informal term; "improve" is more appropriate for formal academic writing. -
"jeopardy" -> "jeopardize"
Explanation: "Jeopardize" is the correct verb form to use in this context, meaning to put something at risk. -
"free housing campaigns" -> "free housing initiatives"
Explanation: "Initiatives" is a more formal term than "campaigns," fitting better in an academic context. -
"dependency among people" -> "dependence on government support"
Explanation: "Dependence on government support" is more specific and accurate, clarifying the type of dependency being discussed. -
"pretend to be disabled" -> "claim to be disabled"
Explanation: "Claim" is a more formal and precise term than "pretend," which is less suitable for academic writing. -
"a halves of housing prices" -> "a reduction in housing prices"
Explanation: "A halves" is incorrect; "a reduction" is the correct term for decreasing housing prices. -
"overly dependant" -> "overly dependent"
Explanation: "Dependent" is the correct form of the adjective in this context. -
"striked balanced" -> "struck a balance"
Explanation: "Struck a balance" is the correct idiomatic expression, and "struck" is the correct verb form. -
"preparing for a long-term sustainable plans" -> "enabling long-term sustainable plans"
Explanation: "Enabling" is more precise and formal than "preparing for," and "sustainable plans" should be a single phrase without "a."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether governments should provide free housing. The introduction sets the stage for the debate, and the body paragraphs explore the potential benefits and drawbacks of such a policy. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. The phrase "While I believe that the government holds accountability to provide housing" suggests some level of agreement, but the subsequent discussion lacks a clear stance on the extent of that agreement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should clearly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Explicitly stating whether they fully agree, partially agree, or disagree with the provision of free housing will provide clarity and strengthen the overall argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position, indicating that the author believes in government responsibility for housing but also recognizes limitations. However, the position becomes muddled in the discussion of economic strain and dependency, which could confuse the reader about the author’s true stance. The use of phrases like "the contradict point here is economic strain policy" lacks clarity and could be better articulated.
- How to improve: The author should maintain a consistent thread throughout the essay. Using clear transitional phrases to indicate shifts in argument or perspective can help. Additionally, reiterating the main position after discussing counterarguments can reinforce the author’s viewpoint.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the potential benefits of free housing and the risks of dependency. However, some points are not fully developed. For instance, the idea of dependency is introduced but not thoroughly explored with concrete examples or evidence. The mention of "many still pretend to be disabled" is a strong point but lacks context or data to substantiate it.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. This could include statistics on homelessness, references to successful housing programs, or studies on the effects of dependency. Expanding on each point with relevant data or real-world examples will enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the issue of government-provided housing. However, some sentences, such as "Sufficient quality housing projects requires more land in capital," could be clearer and more directly related to the main argument. The phrase "which could critically jeopardy other sectors such as healthcare or education" introduces a relevant concern but could be more explicitly tied back to the main argument about housing.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. Avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main thesis will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the focus of the discussion.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, but clarity and depth in the expression of ideas could be improved for a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the provision of free housing by the government, with a balanced view of both sides of the debate. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are structured to present opposing viewpoints. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of free housing to the economic strains is somewhat abrupt and could be better linked.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each point logically follows from the previous one. Using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "Consequently" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, some paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus. For example, the second paragraph combines the benefits of free housing with the economic implications, which could be confusing.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by relevant examples and explanations. Consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the benefits of free housing, while another could address the potential economic drawbacks. This would enhance clarity and make the argument more compelling.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to contrast different viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, phrases like "However, the contradict point here is economic strain policy" are awkwardly constructed and could benefit from more precise language.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Additionally," "Moreover," or "In addition" to introduce supporting ideas, and "Nevertheless," "Conversely," or "Despite this" to present counterarguments. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly and in context, which will improve the overall flow of the essay.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a better overall score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "complimentary housing," "economic strain policy," and "social welfare." However, some phrases are repetitive or lack variation, such as "housing" and "government." For instance, the phrase "free housing campaigns" could have been varied with alternatives like "subsidized housing initiatives" or "government-assisted housing programs."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "housing," consider using "shelter," "accommodation," or "residential solutions." Additionally, exploring phrases that convey the same meaning with different structures can enrich the vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "this actions" should be "these actions," indicating a lack of grammatical precision. The term "economic strain policy" is vague and could be better articulated as "economic constraints on government spending." Furthermore, "the contradict point here" should be "the contradictory point here," which affects clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and using terms that accurately convey the intended meaning. A review of grammatical structures and vocabulary definitions can help avoid such errors. Additionally, using contextually appropriate phrases will enhance clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "i" instead of "I," "dependant" instead of "dependent," and "striked" instead of "strikes." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as spelling exercises or using spelling tools. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or using grammar-checking software can help catch and correct spelling mistakes before submission. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify words that may not look correct.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of conditional sentences ("If the government were to allocate resources…") and complex sentences ("While I believe that the government holds accountability to provide housing, its ability is limited due to its financial resources."). However, the overall range is somewhat limited. Many sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that would enhance the essay’s sophistication. For instance, phrases like "this actions not only fulfill citizen’s satisfaction" could be restructured for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences and varied clauses. For example, using relative clauses (e.g., "which could critically jeopardy other sectors such as healthcare or education") and participial phrases (e.g., "By supporting free housing, which can create dependency among people…") would enhance the complexity. Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and lengths can create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "a house is the basic necessities" should be "a house is one of the basic necessities." The phrase "this actions not only fulfill citizen’s satisfaction" contains subject-verb agreement errors and should be corrected to "this action not only fulfills citizens’ satisfaction." Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, and the incorrect use of "i" instead of "I," also affect readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, ensuring that singular subjects are paired with singular verbs and plural subjects with plural verbs. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation and capitalization errors is essential. Using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and correct these mistakes. Practicing writing with a focus on accurate punctuation and grammar in shorter sentences may also aid in building confidence and skill.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of grammatical structures, enhancing the variety and accuracy of these elements will significantly improve the overall quality and coherence of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is widely acknowledged that a house is a fundamental necessity for human life today. The question of whether governments should provide complementary housing for citizens who cannot afford it is an ongoing debate. While I believe that the government has a responsibility to assist in housing, its capabilities are limited due to financial constraints.
On one hand, it is undeniable that a universal housing initiative could enhance social welfare. If the government were to allocate resources for this purpose, the homelessness rate would undoubtedly decline significantly, especially in densely populated cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. These actions would not only fulfill citizens’ needs but also improve health conditions and provide safer places to live. However, the contradictory point here is the economic strain that such policies could impose, which means they would depend heavily on the national budget. Sufficient quality housing projects require more land and capital, which could critically jeopardize other sectors such as healthcare or education.
On the other hand, there are several compelling reasons why free housing initiatives may not be the most efficient solution to the housing crisis in Vietnam. By supporting free housing, it can create dependence among people. If free housing programs are designed to be long-term or permanent, individuals may become reliant on them for stability, reducing their incentive to seek employment or improve their economic situation. For example, many may claim to be disabled to ask for charity when they are capable of working.
To sum up, while the provision of free housing for those in poverty is a good solution, it may not be the most successful approach from the government’s standpoint. It seems more practical for authorities to foster affordable housing by subsidizing citizens for half of the housing prices. This encourages personal responsibility, ensuring that they are not overly dependent on government support. This strikes a balance between social welfare and economic stability, preparing for long-term sustainable plans.