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Some people think that increasing the cost of fuels is the best way to solve the world’s environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that increasing the cost of fuels is the best way to solve the world’s environmental problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

It is widely believed that raising the price of fuels is the foremost method of solving environmental challenges. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I would argue that there are still various initiatives more advantageous.

On the other hand, it is understandable why some people believe that increasing the cost of fuels is the best measure to mitigate issues related to the environment, especially air pollution. The key rationale in favor of this idea is that the former would constrain the number of private cars that consume an excessive amount of fossil fuels, because people still need to compensate on other crucial expenses such as groceries, healthcare systems, and other daily basis. Therefore, it is possible for citizens to switch to using public transportation as a replacement. Considering these factors, the belief that an increase in the cost of fuels will diminish environmental issues in densely urban areas seems perfectly justifiable.

On the one hand, I am convinced that while the rise in fuel’s cost is a stopgap method, authorities could adopt other transportation policies in the long term. A solution worth mentioning is congestion pricing toll on all vehicles visiting the city center is applied in many developed countries such as the US, Australia. A reduction in exhaust fumes is a result of reducing the number of automobiles to a great extent. Another approach would be governments could use the money raised from the aforementioned charge to subsidize bus or train fares for commuters, and upgrade public transportation infrastructure, as people still travel to work, to school daily. This is arguably an area where increasing the costs of fuels can hardly resolve problems in a comprehensive way.

In conclusion, while there are justifications that the increasing price of fuels will solve pollution problems thoroughly, I would contend that in the future, the other steps would be more effective.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is widely believed that raising the price of fuels is the foremost method of solving environmental challenges." -> "It is widely believed that increasing the cost of fuels is the primary approach to addressing environmental issues."
    Explanation: Replacing "raising the price of fuels" with "increasing the cost of fuels" is more formal and accurately conveys the idea. Also, "foremost method" is replaced with "primary approach" for greater precision.

  2. "various initiatives more advantageous" -> "various alternative initiatives offer greater advantages."
    Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat vague and lacks specificity. Replacing it with "various alternative initiatives offer greater advantages" clarifies the argument and enhances formality.

  3. "it is understandable why some people believe" -> "it is understandable why some individuals hold the belief."
    Explanation: Substituting "believe" with "hold the belief" adds formality and precision to the sentence.

  4. "especially air pollution" -> "particularly with regard to air pollution."
    Explanation: The addition of "with regard to" makes the sentence more formal and academic.

  5. "The key rationale in favor of this idea is that the former would constrain the number of private cars" -> "The primary rationale supporting this concept is that it would limit the usage of private automobiles."
    Explanation: The suggested phrase uses more formal language and replaces "key rationale" with "primary rationale" for greater precision.

  6. "because people still need to compensate on other crucial expenses such as groceries, healthcare systems, and other daily basis." -> "since individuals must allocate resources to other essential expenses, including groceries, healthcare, and daily necessities."
    Explanation: This revision maintains formality while improving clarity and precision.

  7. "Therefore, it is possible for citizens to switch to using public transportation as a replacement." -> "Consequently, citizens may opt to utilize public transportation as an alternative."
    Explanation: The suggested phrasing is more academically precise and retains the logical flow of the argument.

  8. "Considering these factors, the belief that an increase in the cost of fuels will diminish environmental issues in densely urban areas seems perfectly justifiable." -> "Taking these factors into account, the notion that a rise in fuel costs will ameliorate environmental problems in densely populated urban areas appears well-founded."
    Explanation: This replacement uses more formal language and offers a more detailed and clear expression of the idea.

  9. "I am convinced that while the rise in fuel’s cost is a stopgap method," -> "I firmly believe that while the increase in fuel costs serves as a temporary measure,"
    Explanation: This revision enhances formality and clarity. "Stopgap method" is replaced with "temporary measure" for precision.

  10. "A solution worth mentioning is congestion pricing toll on all vehicles visiting the city center is applied in many developed countries such as the US, Australia." -> "A noteworthy solution involves implementing congestion pricing tolls on all vehicles entering the city center, a practice adopted in many developed countries, including the US and Australia."
    Explanation: This revision corrects grammar and punctuation while maintaining a formal tone and providing more precise details.

  11. "A reduction in exhaust fumes is a result of reducing the number of automobiles to a great extent." -> "Significant reduction in exhaust emissions is achieved by substantially decreasing the number of automobiles."
    Explanation: This change improves the formal expression of the idea and clarifies the relationship between reduced automobiles and exhaust emissions.

  12. "governments could use the money raised from the aforementioned charge" -> "governments could allocate the funds generated from the aforementioned fee"
    Explanation: This replacement uses a more formal term, "allocate the funds," instead of "use the money," and maintains academic style.

  13. "This is arguably an area where increasing the costs of fuels can hardly resolve problems in a comprehensive way." -> "This is arguably an area where raising fuel costs may not comprehensively address the issues."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality and provides a more precise and academic expression of doubt regarding the effectiveness of increasing fuel costs.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both sides of the argument (agreeing and disagreeing with the statement) and provides reasons for the stance taken.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay effectively analyzes and responds to all components of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. It starts by acknowledging the opposing viewpoint but then firmly presents the author’s position against raising the cost of fuels as the ultimate solution.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay effectively establishes and maintains a clear position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas effectively. It provides specific reasons and examples to support the argument against raising fuel costs. For example, it mentions congestion pricing tolls and government subsidies as alternative measures.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay effectively presents and elaborates on ideas with relevant examples and explanations.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout and does not deviate from the main theme, which is whether increasing fuel costs is the best solution to environmental problems.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay maintains a focus on the topic and avoids off-topic discussions.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the essay prompt and effectively addresses all aspects of the Task Response criteria. The writer presents a clear position, extends and supports ideas with relevant examples, and maintains focus on the topic. It is well-structured and logically organized. To further enhance the essay, the writer could consider adding a concluding paragraph to summarize the main points and restate the position for added clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 9

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of logical organization. It effectively follows a clear structure, with a strong introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction provides a clear thesis statement, setting the direction for the essay. Each body paragraph addresses a different aspect of the argument, and the progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow.
    • How to improve: Continue to maintain this excellent logical organization. Ensure that each paragraph contributes coherently to the overall argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure its content. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of the paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. This aids in readability and comprehension.
    • How to improve: Keep using paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a unified theme and flows smoothly from one to the next.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay skillfully employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Transition words and phrases like "On the other hand," "Therefore," "In conclusion," and "while" are used effectively to guide the reader through the essay’s structure and arguments. These cohesive devices enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Continue to incorporate diverse cohesive devices in your writing to ensure that connections between ideas are even more seamless. Carefully choose cohesive devices that best suit the context of your essay.

Overall, this essay excels in terms of coherence and cohesion, with a clear structure, effective paragraphing, and skillful use of cohesive devices. To further improve, focus on consistently applying these techniques and consider refining your choice of cohesive devices to make your writing even more compelling.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary throughout. It utilizes diverse vocabulary to express ideas and arguments effectively. For instance, it uses phrases like "foremost method," "compensate on other crucial expenses," "congestion pricing toll," and "comprehensive way" to convey nuanced meanings.
    • How to improve: Continue expanding your vocabulary by exploring synonyms and more complex expressions for common words and phrases. Incorporate idiomatic expressions and specialized terminology when appropriate to enhance lexical diversity further.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, providing clear and accurate meanings. For example, it correctly employs terms like "congestion pricing toll" and "exhaust fumes" to convey specific concepts related to environmental issues and transportation policies.
    • How to improve: Maintain this precision in word choice and continue to refine your vocabulary usage by paying attention to context and ensuring that each word or phrase chosen aligns precisely with the intended meaning.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable spelling errors throughout the text.
    • How to improve: To maintain this level of spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread your essays carefully. Additionally, consider using spell-check tools and referring to spelling resources for any unfamiliar words or technical terms.

Overall, your essay exhibits excellent lexical resource skills with a rich vocabulary and precise word usage. Keep refining your vocabulary and maintain your strong spelling accuracy to consistently achieve a high band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences. The author effectively uses coordination and subordination to convey ideas and maintain coherence. For example, the use of both "while" and "on the other hand" helps introduce contrasting viewpoints and maintain a logical flow.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the diversity and effectiveness of sentence structures, the author can experiment with more complex sentence structures, such as using conditional sentences or relative clauses. This will add depth to the writing and showcase a higher level of grammatical range.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy throughout. Sentences are well-structured, and there are no major grammatical errors. Punctuation is used correctly, including commas, periods, and semicolons. For instance, the sentence "A reduction in exhaust fumes is a result of reducing the number of automobiles to a great extent" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: While the essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy, there is always room for improvement. The author can continue to refine their sentence structure by paying attention to subtler aspects, such as avoiding redundancy and ensuring conciseness. Additionally, revising for consistency in verb tense usage can further enhance accuracy.

Overall, this essay exhibits a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, with well-structured sentences and effective use of punctuation. To maintain this level and potentially reach even greater heights, the author can experiment with more complex sentence structures and continue refining their writing for subtler aspects of grammar.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that increasing the cost of fuels is the primary approach to addressing environmental issues. While I understand the reasoning behind this belief, I would argue that various alternative initiatives offer greater advantages.

It is understandable why some individuals hold the belief that raising the cost of fuels is the best way to mitigate environmental issues, particularly with regard to air pollution. The primary rationale supporting this concept is that it would limit the usage of private automobiles, as individuals must allocate resources to other essential expenses, including groceries, healthcare, and daily necessities. Consequently, citizens may opt to utilize public transportation as an alternative. Taking these factors into account, the notion that a rise in fuel costs will ameliorate environmental problems in densely populated urban areas appears well-founded.

However, I firmly believe that while the increase in fuel costs serves as a temporary measure, a noteworthy solution involves implementing congestion pricing tolls on all vehicles entering the city center, a practice adopted in many developed countries, including the US and Australia. Significant reduction in exhaust emissions is achieved by substantially decreasing the number of automobiles. Governments could allocate the funds generated from the aforementioned fee to subsidize bus or train fares for commuters and upgrade public transportation infrastructure, as people still need to travel to work and school daily. This is arguably an area where raising fuel costs may not comprehensively address the issues.

In conclusion, while there are justifications for the belief that increasing the price of fuels will solve pollution problems thoroughly, I would contend that in the future, other steps would be more effective.

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