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Some people think that instead of preventint climate change, we should learn to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

Some people think that instead of preventint climate change, we should learn to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

There is an opinion that people should adapt to live with climate change rather than finding a solution to it. While acknowledging the reason for this thinking, I believe that everyone holds accountable for the combat against the change in global climate.
Granted, advocates for the adaptation to climate change may argue that the scope of this problem is overwhelming to be tackled. This is because dealing with such a global issue requires cooperation among nations and initiatives tailored to the specific environmental challenges and context of each region. On this account, an enormous amount of resources, knowledge and technology will need to be shared and promoted effectively, putting a substantial constraint on resource allocation of the governments, potentially negatively affecting other priorities like education and public health.
However, this line of reasoning is not sound because most of the effects of climate change are human-induced, which makes it undeniable that humans should shoulder the responsibility to address its consequences. Firstly, individuals can proactively adopt a greener lifestyle by mitigating the use of private cars and shifting to public transportation instead to help reduce the amount of exhaust fumes emitted into the atmosphere. Secondly, industrial factories, whose harmful gases contributed largely to the damage of the ozone layer, should harness clean sources of energy and promote environmental stewardship in order not to exacerbate the situation. Finally, the government plays a critical role in imposing environmental rigorous policies and legislation deterring and regulating the acts of damaging the atmosphere. This can be done by the application of technology such as satellite imagery and remote sensing to track and identify illegal undermining activities.
In conclusion, humans definitely have a role to play in the fight against climate change. Therefore, it is the obligation of related stakeholders including the public, industries and the state to make a cumulative impact on the sustainability of future environment.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "There is an opinion" -> "It is a prevailing opinion"
    Explanation: "It is a prevailing opinion" refines the phrase by using a more formal and precise term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  2. "people should adapt to live with" -> "individuals should adapt to living with"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "living with" is grammatically correct in this context, improving the sentence structure.

  3. "finding a solution to it" -> "addressing it"
    Explanation: "Addressing it" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea of dealing with a problem, which is more suitable for academic writing.

  4. "everyone holds accountable for the combat against" -> "everyone is responsible for combating"
    Explanation: "Is responsible for combating" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "holds accountable for the combat against."

  5. "the scope of this problem is overwhelming to be tackled" -> "the scope of this problem is overwhelming to tackle"
    Explanation: Removing "to be" corrects the grammatical error and streamlines the sentence for better readability and formality.

  6. "an enormous amount of resources, knowledge and technology" -> "a significant amount of resources, knowledge, and technology"
    Explanation: "A significant amount" is more precise and less hyperbolic than "an enormous amount," which is typically used to emphasize extreme quantities.

  7. "putting a substantial constraint on resource allocation" -> "imposing significant constraints on resource allocation"
    Explanation: "Imposing significant constraints" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  8. "most of the effects of climate change are human-induced" -> "many of the effects of climate change are anthropogenic"
    Explanation: "Anthropogenic" is a more technical and precise term than "human-induced," aligning better with scientific and academic language.

  9. "industrial factories, whose harmful gases contributed largely to the damage of the ozone layer" -> "industrial facilities, whose emissions significantly contributed to ozone layer damage"
    Explanation: "Industrial facilities" is a more formal term than "industrial factories," and "emissions" is more specific than "harmful gases," improving the scientific accuracy.

  10. "harness clean sources of energy" -> "utilize clean energy sources"
    Explanation: "Utilize" is a more formal verb than "harness" in this context, and "clean energy sources" is a more standard term in environmental discussions.

  11. "environmental rigorous policies" -> "stringent environmental policies"
    Explanation: "Stringent" is a more precise adjective than "rigorous" in this context, enhancing the formality and specificity of the description.

  12. "the application of technology such as satellite imagery and remote sensing" -> "the deployment of technologies such as satellite imagery and remote sensing"
    Explanation: "Deployment" is a more precise term than "application" in this context, and "technologies" is plural to encompass the variety of methods mentioned.

  13. "cumulative impact on the sustainability of future environment" -> "cumulative impact on the sustainability of the environment"
    Explanation: Removing "future" corrects the grammatical structure and maintains the formal tone by avoiding unnecessary repetition of "environment."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument against the notion of merely adapting to climate change. The author acknowledges the opposing viewpoint, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue. The essay discusses the need for proactive measures to combat climate change, thus addressing both sides of the argument. However, while the author mentions the rationale for adaptation, the exploration of this perspective could be more developed to provide a balanced view.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include a more detailed examination of the arguments for adaptation, perhaps by providing specific examples or scenarios where adaptation might be necessary. This would not only demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic but also strengthen the overall argument by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that emphasizes the responsibility of humans to combat climate change. This stance is consistently presented throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding remarks. The use of phrases like "I believe that everyone holds accountable" reinforces the author’s commitment to this viewpoint. However, the transition between acknowledging the opposing view and reasserting the main argument could be smoother to enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases to better connect the acknowledgment of the opposing view with the rebuttal. For example, phrases like "Despite these arguments, it is crucial to recognize…" could help guide the reader through the author’s reasoning more effectively.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-supported ideas, such as the role of individuals, industries, and governments in combating climate change. Each point is backed by relevant examples, such as the shift to public transportation and the use of clean energy by industries. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration to enhance their impact. For instance, the discussion on government policies could include specific examples of successful legislation or initiatives.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Including statistics, case studies, or specific policies that have been effective in combating climate change would add depth to the argument and make it more persuasive.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of climate change adaptation versus mitigation throughout its length. The author consistently ties back to the central theme of responsibility in addressing climate change, which keeps the discussion relevant. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which is commendable.
    • How to improve: While the essay is generally focused, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. A brief reiteration of the main question in the conclusion could reinforce the relevance of the discussion and remind the reader of the essay’s purpose.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the author should focus on deepening the exploration of opposing viewpoints, enhancing the clarity of transitions, providing more detailed examples, and ensuring that all points remain tightly connected to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s position. The body paragraphs follow a logical progression, with the first paragraph discussing the reasons for adaptation and the subsequent paragraphs countering this viewpoint by emphasizing human responsibility. However, while the ideas are generally organized, some transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing the challenges of adaptation to the counter-argument about human responsibility could be more explicit to enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases such as "On the contrary," or "Conversely," when shifting from one argument to another can help guide the reader through the essay’s progression.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated, and the body paragraphs are structured around distinct points. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer internal structure, as it presents multiple ideas without distinct separation, making it slightly harder to follow.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Consider breaking down the second body paragraph into smaller sections or using bullet points for clarity when listing multiple arguments. This will help maintain focus and enhance readability.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," to indicate the order of points. Additionally, phrases like "On this account" and "However" are used to connect ideas and contrast arguments effectively. Nevertheless, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to avoid repetition and to enhance the overall fluidity of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more synonyms and alternative phrases to indicate contrast and addition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "However," you could use "Nevertheless," "Nonetheless," or "Conversely." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "In light of this," or "Given these points," can help create a more sophisticated and varied writing style.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there are areas for improvement, particularly in transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these aspects, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "adapt to live with climate change," "shoulder the responsibility," and "environmental stewardship." These expressions convey complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "climate change" could be substituted with synonyms or paraphrased expressions to enhance lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms such as "global warming," "environmental crisis," or "climatic shifts" to avoid redundancy. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text. For instance, instead of saying "an enormous amount of resources," one might say "a vast array of resources" or "a significant quantity of resources."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are some instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the combat against the change in global climate" could be more clearly articulated as "the fight against climate change." The term "environmental rigorous policies" is also somewhat awkward; "stringent environmental policies" would be more precise.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on choosing words that convey the intended meaning more clearly. Reviewing phrases for clarity and appropriateness can help. For example, replacing "the combat against the change in global climate" with "the fight against climate change" would improve clarity. Additionally, using a thesaurus to find more fitting synonyms can aid in achieving greater precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "preventint" instead of "preventing." This error detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing. However, the majority of the vocabulary is spelled correctly, indicating a good level of spelling competence.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, preferably after a break to gain a fresh perspective. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help catch errors. Regular practice with spelling exercises or quizzes can further enhance spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary suitable for a Band 7 score, focusing on increasing lexical variety, enhancing precision, and improving spelling accuracy will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "This is because dealing with such a global issue requires cooperation among nations and initiatives tailored to the specific environmental challenges and context of each region" showcases an ability to convey intricate ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures ("should harness clean sources of energy") and relative clauses ("whose harmful gases contributed largely to the damage of the ozone layer"), which enrich the text. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be varied further, such as the repeated use of "should" in recommendations.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "Individuals can…" or "The government plays…", try beginning with an introductory phrase or using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Not only should individuals adopt greener lifestyles, but they must also encourage others to do the same"). This will enhance the overall dynamism of the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy of the essay is generally strong, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "everyone holds accountable for the combat against the change in global climate" should be revised to "everyone is held accountable for combating the change in the global climate" to ensure proper verb form and preposition usage. Additionally, the use of commas is mostly correct, but there are a few instances where they could enhance clarity, such as before "which makes it undeniable" to separate the clauses more distinctly.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on these areas can be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly concerning clauses and lists, will help in refining the essay. Reading the essay aloud can also assist in identifying awkward phrasing or punctuation errors that may disrupt the flow of ideas.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can further enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevailing opinion that people should adapt to living with climate change rather than finding a solution to it. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe that everyone is responsible for combating the change in the global climate.

Granted, advocates for adaptation to climate change may argue that the scope of this problem is overwhelming to tackle. This is because dealing with such a global issue requires cooperation among nations and initiatives tailored to the specific environmental challenges and contexts of each region. On this account, a significant amount of resources, knowledge, and technology will need to be shared and promoted effectively, imposing significant constraints on resource allocation by governments, potentially negatively affecting other priorities like education and public health.

However, this line of reasoning is not sound because many of the effects of climate change are anthropogenic, which makes it undeniable that humans should shoulder the responsibility to address its consequences. Firstly, individuals can proactively adopt a greener lifestyle by mitigating the use of private cars and shifting to public transportation instead to help reduce the amount of exhaust fumes emitted into the atmosphere. Secondly, industrial facilities, whose emissions significantly contributed to the damage of the ozone layer, should utilize clean energy sources and promote environmental stewardship in order not to exacerbate the situation. Finally, the government plays a critical role in imposing stringent environmental policies and legislation that deter and regulate acts damaging to the atmosphere. This can be done through the deployment of technologies such as satellite imagery and remote sensing to track and identify illegal undermining activities.

In conclusion, humans definitely have a role to play in the fight against climate change. Therefore, it is the obligation of related stakeholders, including the public, industries, and the state, to make a cumulative impact on the sustainability of the environment for the future.

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