Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today’s society of technological revolution, social networking has long been appearing in a wide range of TV shows and movies which satisfy people’s daily demands. Every individual has their own perspective on whether it is better for a nation to adapt a new brand of culture from international shows and films or just only support the domestic ones. From my own point of view, although our national art products bring us plenty of advantages, perceiving new concepts of various fields of entertainment arts is beneficial as well.
On the one hand, I do suppose that our country’s movies and programmes are all well invested and meticulous from content, stage to guests. For instance, there are many reality entertainment programmes in Vietnam, one typical of them is called “2 days 1 night” including quality guests such as HIEUTHUHAI, Duong Lam, etc. The content of this show is that they visit some of the most attractive places in Vietnam and practice their challenges, from these likely reality shows, viewers can effortlessly see and enjoy how majestic the scenes of Vietnam are via the TV screen. Furthermore, Vietnamese at all ages, especially the young can arouse their national pride themselves through eloquent historical documentary footage of our nation’s ancestors. Todays, the past lives are not so hard to reach because of high-tech technologies, teens can learn history by searching online or by watching on VTV channels. So, these late generations can understand deeply and grasp some of basic Vietnamese traditions like patriotic tradition, customs at Tet and family bonding values.
On the other hand, in spite of the attractive fundamentals of national movies and programmes, I believe that people should also accept and perceive more kinds of international TV shows and films which can probably boost our culture to be more adaptive to the worldwide art market. People not only learn new culture from leading countries in the world about entertainment, education and awareness in public. Through the Internet, everything is easy to achieve if only we have a passion for it. To illustrate, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon is one of the most well-known TV shows in the world, in this show guests are famous actors, actresses, singers, etc. They simply talk about everything on earth from the most daily routine, so whoever wants to improve their English can also follow this funny show. Moreover, Masterchef is the greatest choice for people who have a desire for cooking delicious food and don’t know how to serve your food in a proper way.
In conclusion, I think that despite the merits of local shows and movies, people need to surpass their own boundaries to learn and achieve more than a basic knowledge in their country. It is advisable for those who want to broaden their horizons and experience themselves with new types of cultures.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In today’s society of technological revolution" -> "In today’s society undergoing technological revolution"
Explanation: The phrase "society of technological revolution" is awkward and unclear. "Undergoing technological revolution" is more precise and academically appropriate, clearly indicating the ongoing process of technological advancements in society. -
"long been appearing in a wide range of TV shows and movies" -> "have long been featured in a wide range of TV shows and movies"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. "Have long been featured" corrects the verb tense and improves the grammatical structure, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence. -
"satisfy people’s daily demands" -> "meet people’s daily needs"
Explanation: "Satisfy" is somewhat informal and vague in this context. "Meet" is more precise and commonly used in formal writing to describe fulfilling requirements or needs. -
"Every individual has their own perspective" -> "Each individual has their own perspective"
Explanation: "Every" is slightly informal and less precise than "each," which is more commonly used in academic writing to refer to each member of a group. -
"adapt a new brand of culture" -> "adopt a new cultural trend"
Explanation: "Brand" is incorrectly used here; "brand" typically refers to a product or service, not culture. "Cultural trend" is the correct term for describing changes in cultural practices or styles. -
"just only support the domestic ones" -> "only support domestic productions"
Explanation: "Just only" is redundant and informal. "Only support domestic productions" is clearer and more formal, avoiding redundancy and enhancing the academic tone. -
"perceiving new concepts of various fields of entertainment arts" -> "experiencing new concepts across various fields of entertainment"
Explanation: "Perceiving" is less specific and can be vague; "experiencing" is more direct and appropriate for describing the active engagement with new ideas in the context of entertainment arts. -
"well invested and meticulous from content, stage to guests" -> "meticulously planned and executed from content to guest selection"
Explanation: "Well invested" is vague and informal; "meticulously planned and executed" provides a clearer and more formal description of the effort and attention to detail in production. -
"HIEUTHUHAI, Duong Lam, etc." -> "celebrities such as HIEUTHUHAI and Duong Lam"
Explanation: The original list is informal and lacks proper punctuation. Using "celebrities such as" and listing them with commas improves the formality and readability of the sentence. -
"majestic the scenes of Vietnam are" -> "the majesty of Vietnam’s scenes"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. "The majesty of Vietnam’s scenes" is more grammatically correct and flows better in formal writing. -
"Todays, the past lives are not so hard to reach" -> "Today, the past is not difficult to access"
Explanation: "Todays" is a typographical error; "Today" is the correct form. "Not so hard to reach" is informal; "not difficult to access" is more precise and formal. -
"late generations" -> "younger generations"
Explanation: "Late generations" is unclear and potentially confusing. "Younger generations" is the correct term and is more specific in this context, referring to those born later in time. -
"boost our culture to be more adaptive" -> "enhance our cultural adaptability"
Explanation: "Boost our culture to be more adaptive" is awkward and unclear. "Enhance our cultural adaptability" is more direct and formally appropriate, clearly indicating the improvement in cultural flexibility. -
"People not only learn new culture from leading countries" -> "People not only learn about new cultures from leading countries"
Explanation: "Learn new culture" is grammatically incorrect; "learn about new cultures" corrects the verb and pluralizes "culture" to match the plural subject "countries." -
"awareness in public" -> "public awareness"
Explanation: "Awareness in public" is awkward and unclear. "Public awareness" is the correct phrase, which is commonly used in formal writing to describe the spread of knowledge or understanding among the public. -
"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" -> "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon"
Explanation: The original is correct, but "with" is more commonly used in formal contexts than "starring," which is more informal and attention-grabbing. -
"Masterchef" -> "MasterChef"
Explanation: "Masterchef" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun, referring to a specific television program. -
"don’t know how to serve your food in a proper way" -> "are unfamiliar with proper food presentation"
Explanation: "Don’t know how to serve your food in a proper way" is informal and vague. "Are unfamiliar with proper food presentation" is more formal and precise, suitable for academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the prompt, discussing the benefits of both local and foreign media. The first body paragraph highlights the advantages of domestic productions, such as national pride and cultural education through programs like "2 Days 1 Night." The second body paragraph presents the case for foreign media, emphasizing the exposure to different cultures and the potential for personal growth through shows like "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" and "Masterchef." However, while both perspectives are covered, the discussion could be more balanced, as the argument for local productions is more developed than that for foreign media.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the writer could provide more specific examples and details regarding the benefits of foreign media, perhaps including statistics or studies that show the impact of international shows on cultural understanding or personal development.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer presents a clear position in favor of embracing both local and foreign media, stating that while local productions have merits, exposure to international content is beneficial. This position is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the phrasing in some areas could lead to slight ambiguity, such as "I do suppose that our country’s movies and programmes are all well invested," which may imply uncertainty.
- How to improve: The writer should strive for more assertive language to reinforce their position. Phrases like "I believe" or "I think" could be replaced with stronger assertions such as "It is essential" or "It is clear that." This would enhance the clarity and authority of the position taken.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with examples supporting the discussion of both local and foreign media. The use of specific shows and their attributes helps to illustrate points effectively. However, the support for the argument in favor of foreign media could be further extended, as it currently lacks depth compared to the local media argument.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer could include more detailed analysis of how foreign media influences cultural perceptions or personal skills. Incorporating quotes or references from experts in media studies could also provide additional weight to the arguments presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of both local and foreign media on culture. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the writer consistently relates back to the central theme of cultural exchange and adaptation.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the writer should ensure that each point made is directly tied back to the prompt. For instance, when discussing the benefits of foreign media, explicitly linking these benefits to how they contribute to the overall cultural landscape of the country could strengthen the relevance of the arguments made.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the writer should focus on balancing the discussion of both perspectives, using more assertive language to clarify their position, extending the support for their ideas, and ensuring that all points are tightly connected to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint regarding the importation of foreign media versus the production of local content. The introduction effectively sets the context and states the writer’s perspective. However, the transition between the two views could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing local productions to foreign influences feels somewhat abrupt, lacking a transitional phrase that clearly connects these ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," at the beginning of the second body paragraph. Additionally, summarizing the main point of the first paragraph before introducing the second viewpoint can help guide the reader more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses local productions, while the second addresses the benefits of foreign media. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the first paragraph could start with a sentence that explicitly states the advantages of local content before delving into examples.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly outline the main argument being presented. This will not only improve clarity but also help the reader follow the essay’s progression more easily. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas, ensuring each paragraph remains focused.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "moreover," and "in conclusion." These devices help to connect ideas and provide examples. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where repetition occurs, such as the frequent use of "for instance" and "moreover." This can detract from the overall fluency of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate synonyms or alternative phrases such as "for example," "in addition," or "furthermore." Additionally, consider using pronouns and demonstrative adjectives to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can enhance cohesion without the need for repetitive phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "Vietnamese shows," you could use "these productions" or "such programs" in subsequent references.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing its overall effectiveness in communicating the argument.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "technological revolution," "meticulous," "arouse national pride," and "adaptive to the worldwide art market." These choices reflect an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as "movies and programmes," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "movies and programmes," alternatives like "films," "productions," or "broadcasts" could be employed. Additionally, introducing more advanced vocabulary related to cultural exchange and media could elevate the essay further.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "perceiving new concepts of various fields of entertainment arts" is somewhat vague and could be clearer. The term "adaptive" in "boost our culture to be more adaptive" might also be misused; "responsive" or "open" could convey the intended meaning more accurately.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity. Instead of "perceiving new concepts," a more precise phrase could be "embracing diverse cultural influences." Furthermore, reviewing vocabulary choices for exactness and context will help ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed clearly.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, "Todays" should be corrected to "Today’s," and "the past lives are not so hard to reach" could be rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch any overlooked errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also aid in enhancing spelling proficiency.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "In today’s society of technological revolution, social networking has long been appearing in a wide range of TV shows and movies which satisfy people’s daily demands" showcases an ability to convey more nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed. Phrases like "I believe that" and "I do suppose that" are used multiple times, which can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly using "I believe," alternatives like "It is my contention that" or "One could argue that" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more passive constructions or conditional sentences could further diversify the grammatical range.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "perceiving new concepts of various fields of entertainment arts is beneficial as well" could be clearer if rephrased to "understanding new concepts from various fields of entertainment is also beneficial." There are also punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For instance, "Todays, the past lives are not so hard to reach because of high-tech technologies" should be corrected to "Today, the past lives are not so hard to reach because of high-tech technology."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly in punctuation and subject-verb agreement. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify these issues. Additionally, practicing sentence combining and restructuring exercises can enhance overall grammatical precision.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical range and accuracy, there are opportunities for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By addressing these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.
Bài sửa mẫu
In today’s society undergoing a technological revolution, social networking has long been featured in a wide range of TV shows and movies that meet people’s daily needs. Each individual has their own perspective on whether it is better for a nation to adopt a new brand of culture from international shows and films or to only support domestic ones. From my own point of view, although our national art products bring us plenty of advantages, experiencing new concepts across various fields of entertainment is beneficial as well.
On the one hand, I suppose that our country’s movies and programmes are all well-invested and meticulously planned and executed from content to guest selection. For instance, there are many reality entertainment programmes in Vietnam, one typical example being “2 Days 1 Night,” which includes quality guests such as HIEUTHUHAI and Duong Lam. The content of this show is that they visit some of the most attractive places in Vietnam and practice their challenges. From these reality shows, viewers can effortlessly see and enjoy the majesty of Vietnam’s scenes via the TV screen. Furthermore, Vietnamese people of all ages, especially the younger generations, can arouse their national pride through eloquent historical documentary footage of our nation’s ancestors. Today, the past is not difficult to access because of high-tech technologies; teens can learn history by searching online or by watching on VTV channels. Thus, these later generations can understand deeply and grasp some basic Vietnamese traditions like patriotic values, customs at Tet, and family bonding.
On the other hand, despite the attractive fundamentals of national movies and programmes, I believe that people should also accept and perceive more kinds of international TV shows and films, which can probably enhance our cultural adaptability to the worldwide art market. People not only learn about new cultures from leading countries in the world regarding entertainment, education, and public awareness. Through the Internet, everything is easy to achieve if we have a passion for it. To illustrate, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon is one of the most well-known TV shows in the world; in this show, guests are famous actors, actresses, and singers. They simply talk about everything on earth, from the most daily routines, so anyone who wants to improve their English can also follow this entertaining show. Moreover, MasterChef is the greatest choice for people who have a desire for cooking delicious food and are unfamiliar with proper food presentation.
In conclusion, I think that despite the merits of local shows and movies, people need to surpass their own boundaries to learn and achieve more than basic knowledge in their country. It is advisable for those who want to broaden their horizons and experience new cultural trends.