some people think that more money should be spent to promote the use of bicycles in cities. Others, however, believe that cities should focus on investing in public transport systems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
some people think that more money should be spent to promote the use of bicycles in cities. Others, however, believe that cities should focus on investing in public transport systems.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The debate over whether cities should allocate more funding to promote bicycle use or invest in public transport systems is an ongoing discussion with valid points on both sides. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.
Proponents of increased spending on promoting bicycle use argue that bicycles offer numerous benefits for both individuals and urban environments. Firstly, cycling is an environmentally friendly mode of transportation that significantly reduces carbon emissions compared to cars and buses. This can help mitigate air pollution, a serious issue in many cities. Additionally, cycling promotes a healthier lifestyle, as it provides regular physical exercise. This can lead to reduced healthcare costs in the long run due to a healthier population. Moreover, bicycles require less space for parking and infrastructure, making them a practical solution for congested urban areas.
On the other hand, advocates for investing in public transport systems highlight that these systems are crucial for managing the transportation needs of large urban populations. Efficient public transport can alleviate traffic congestion, reduce commute times, and decrease the reliance on personal vehicles. Modern, well-maintained public transport systems can also provide a reliable and safe means of travel for those who do not have access to a bicycle or are unable to cycle due to age, disability, or long distances. Furthermore, public transport can boost economic productivity by ensuring that workers can travel to and from their jobs efficiently.
In my opinion, while both cycling and public transport have their merits, a balanced approach that integrates both solutions is ideal. Cities should indeed promote bicycle use by developing safe cycling lanes, bike-sharing programs, and other cycling-friendly infrastructure. However, this should not come at the expense of neglecting public transport. Instead, investments should be made to enhance the efficiency, accessibility, and coverage of public transport systems, ensuring they remain a viable and attractive option for city dwellers.
In conclusion, while promoting the use of bicycles can offer significant environmental and health benefits, investing in public transport systems is essential for managing the diverse needs of urban populations. A comprehensive urban transportation strategy that supports both cycling and robust public transport networks will provide the most benefits to cities, contributing to a sustainable and efficient urban environment.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"the debate over whether cities should allocate more funding" -> "the debate regarding whether cities should allocate more funding"
Explanation: Replacing "the debate over whether" with "the debate regarding whether" maintains formality and clarity while avoiding the colloquial use of "over". -
"an ongoing discussion with valid points on both sides" -> "a continuing discourse with valid arguments on both sides"
Explanation: Substituting "ongoing discussion" with "continuing discourse" and "valid points" with "valid arguments" enhances the sophistication of the language, aligning it more closely with academic style. -
"This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint." -> "This essay will scrutinize both perspectives prior to delineating my own standpoint."
Explanation: By replacing "examine" with "scrutinize" and "viewpoint" with "standpoint," the sentence gains precision and formality, better suited for academic writing. -
"Proponents of increased spending" -> "Advocates for augmented expenditure"
Explanation: The substitution of "Proponents of increased spending" with "Advocates for augmented expenditure" elevates the vocabulary while maintaining the intended meaning. -
"efficiently" -> "effectively"
Explanation: "Efficiently" is commonly used, but "effectively" conveys a similar meaning in a more polished manner, fitting for academic discourse. -
"a serious issue in many cities" -> "a pervasive issue in many urban areas"
Explanation: Replacing "serious" with "pervasive" and "cities" with "urban areas" provides a more nuanced description, aligning with academic style. -
"Additionally" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Moreover" adds sophistication and coherence to the transition between ideas, enhancing the academic tone. -
"due to a healthier population" -> "resulting in a healthier populace"
Explanation: The alteration maintains clarity while employing a more formal phrasing, enhancing the academic quality of the sentence. -
"On the other hand" -> "Conversely"
Explanation: "Conversely" is a more formal transition word, suitable for academic writing. -
"advocates for investing in public transport systems" -> "proponents of investment in public transport systems"
Explanation: "Advocates for investing in public transport systems" is replaced with "proponents of investment in public transport systems" to enhance precision and formality. -
"highlight that these systems are crucial" -> "emphasize the critical nature of these systems"
Explanation: The replacement improves formality and clarity, aligning with academic style. -
"those who do not have access to a bicycle" -> "individuals lacking access to a bicycle"
Explanation: "Those who do not have access to a bicycle" is replaced with "individuals lacking access to a bicycle" to enhance precision and formality. -
"In my opinion" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is a more formal and academically appropriate alternative to "In my opinion." -
"while both cycling and public transport have their merits" -> "while both cycling and public transport possess inherent advantages"
Explanation: Substituting "merits" with "inherent advantages" adds sophistication to the language, maintaining a formal tone. -
"a balanced approach" -> "an equitable approach"
Explanation: "Equitable" enhances the formality of the language, providing a more precise descriptor in the academic context. -
"this should not come at the expense of neglecting public transport" -> "this should not occur at the detriment of public transport"
Explanation: "At the expense of neglecting" is replaced with "at the detriment of" to enhance formality and clarity. -
"Instead, investments should be made" -> "Rather, investments ought to be made"
Explanation: "Instead" is substituted with "Rather" for a more formal transition, and "should be made" is replaced with "ought to be made" for a more formal expression. -
"ensuring they remain a viable and attractive option" -> "ensuring their continued viability and attractiveness"
Explanation: The substitution enhances the formality of the language while maintaining clarity and precision. -
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
Explanation: "To conclude" is a more formal and concise alternative to "In conclusion," suitable for academic writing. -
"a comprehensive urban transportation strategy" -> "a holistic urban transportation strategy"
Explanation: "Comprehensive" is replaced with "holistic" to provide a more nuanced and formal description in the academic context.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt by discussing both perspectives on whether cities should spend more money to promote bicycle use or invest in public transport systems. It begins by outlining arguments supporting each viewpoint before presenting the author’s own opinion in favor of a balanced approach.
- How to improve: To further enhance task response, ensure that each paragraph explicitly links back to the prompt, perhaps by using phrases like "Regarding the promotion of bicycles…" or "In terms of investing in public transport…". Additionally, provide more specific examples to support each perspective.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, advocating for a balanced approach that integrates both promoting bicycle use and investing in public transport systems. This stance is evident from the introduction through to the conclusion.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, consider reinforcing it by emphasizing the benefits of integration and highlighting potential drawbacks of solely focusing on one aspect over the other.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented logically and supported with relevant examples and arguments. The essay effectively elaborates on the benefits of both promoting bicycle use and investing in public transport systems, providing a well-rounded discussion.
- How to improve: To further extend and support ideas, consider providing statistics or studies to bolster the arguments made. Additionally, anticipate counterarguments and address them to strengthen the overall argumentation.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic, discussing the merits of promoting bicycle use versus investing in public transport systems as outlined in the prompt. There are no significant deviations from the central theme.
- How to improve: Maintain this focus by ensuring that every paragraph directly relates to either promoting bicycles or investing in public transport, avoiding tangents or unrelated discussions.
Overall, this essay effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear stance, presents well-supported ideas, and stays focused on the topic. To enhance its effectiveness, consider providing more specific examples, reinforcing the proposed balanced approach, including additional evidence, and ensuring a tight thematic focus throughout.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization throughout. It starts with an introduction that introduces the topic and outlines the structure (discussing both views and presenting a personal opinion). Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct viewpoint (promoting bicycles vs. investing in public transport), providing comprehensive arguments and examples to support each perspective. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical flow, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are seamless. Consider using transitional phrases explicitly to connect ideas and enhance coherence.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured into paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Topic sentences clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph, and supporting details are effectively developed within each paragraph. This structure helps maintain clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph remains focused on its main idea without straying into unrelated topics. Consider refining topic sentences to more explicitly guide the reader through the paragraph’s content.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, it uses cohesive devices such as "firstly, secondly, moreover, furthermore" to introduce new points and reinforce arguments. Pronouns and referencing are used effectively to maintain coherence.
- How to improve: To further enrich cohesion, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices such as synonyms, parallel structures, and cohesive markers specific to contrasting ideas (e.g., "on the other hand, however"). This will add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s structure.
Overall, the essay effectively achieves a Band 7 for Coherence and Cohesion by maintaining a clear and logical organization, employing well-structured paragraphs with focused topic sentences, and utilizing a range of cohesive devices to enhance coherence. Continued focus on refining transitions between paragraphs and diversifying cohesive devices will further strengthen the essay’s coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "proponents," "advocates," "alleviate," "reliance," and "comprehensive," among others. Additionally, there is effective use of domain-specific vocabulary related to urban transportation, such as "infrastructure," "congested urban areas," and "bike-sharing programs."
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a solid lexical repertoire, further enriching the vocabulary by incorporating more nuanced or contextually appropriate terms could enhance the depth of expression. For instance, instead of using "efficient" repeatedly in relation to public transport, varying with synonyms like "effective," "productive," or "streamlined" could elevate the lexical diversity.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, such as accurately differentiating between "proponents" and "advocates" to denote distinct groups supporting each viewpoint. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as the repeated use of "public transport systems." While technically correct, varying with synonyms like "mass transit" or "communal transportation" could enhance lexical precision and avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: Encourage the use of specific, targeted vocabulary that precisely conveys intended meanings. Encourage the writer to consider the context and audience when selecting words, aiming for clarity and conciseness. For instance, instead of "modern, well-maintained public transport systems," consider alternatives like "sophisticated transit networks" or "state-of-the-art transportation infrastructure" for added specificity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no evident spelling errors detracting from the clarity or coherence of the text. Proper nouns, technical terms, and complex vocabulary are spelled correctly throughout the essay, contributing to its overall professionalism and readability.
- How to improve: To maintain this level of spelling accuracy, encourage the writer to continue proofreading meticulously and consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools as additional safeguards. Additionally, reinforcing commonly misspelled words or homophones through targeted practice can further solidify spelling proficiency.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resources, with a wide range of vocabulary employed effectively to convey nuanced ideas. By refining precision in vocabulary usage and sustaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences alongside simpler ones. For instance, it effectively utilizes complex sentences like "Efficient public transport can alleviate traffic congestion, reduce commute times, and decrease the reliance on personal vehicles" and compound sentences such as "Cities should indeed promote bicycle use by developing safe cycling lanes, bike-sharing programs, and other cycling-friendly infrastructure." These structures enhance readability and convey complex ideas effectively.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a diverse range of structures, incorporating occasional use of inverted sentences or rhetorical questions could add further depth and sophistication to the writing. Additionally, varying the length of sentences more deliberately could enhance the overall flow and rhythm of the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few notable errors. Sentence structures are grammatically sound, and punctuation is used effectively to enhance clarity and organization. For example, "Proponents of increased spending on promoting bicycle use argue that bicycles offer numerous benefits for both individuals and urban environments" demonstrates correct subject-verb agreement and punctuation usage. However, there are occasional minor errors, such as missing commas in some complex sentences or inconsistent use of parallel structures.
- How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading focusing on consistent comma usage in complex sentences and ensuring parallel structures are maintained throughout the essay would be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing subject-verb agreement in complex sentences can help eliminate any potential errors and strengthen overall clarity.
Bài sửa mẫu
The discussion on whether cities should allocate more funding to promote bicycle usage or invest in public transport systems is ongoing, with valid arguments on both sides. This essay will scrutinize both perspectives prior to delineating my own standpoint.
Advocates for augmented expenditure on promoting bicycle usage argue that bicycles offer numerous benefits for individuals and urban environments. Firstly, cycling is an environmentally friendly mode of transportation that significantly reduces carbon emissions compared to cars and buses. This can help mitigate air pollution, a pervasive issue in many urban areas. Additionally, cycling promotes a healthier lifestyle, as it provides regular physical exercise, resulting in a healthier populace. Moreover, bicycles require less space for parking and infrastructure, making them a practical solution for congested urban areas.
Conversely, proponents of investment in public transport systems emphasize the critical nature of these systems for managing the transportation needs of large urban populations. Efficient public transport can alleviate traffic congestion, reduce commute times, and decrease the reliance on personal vehicles. Modern, well-maintained public transport systems can also provide a reliable and safe means of travel for individuals lacking access to a bicycle or unable to cycle due to various reasons. Furthermore, public transport can boost economic productivity by ensuring that workers can travel to and from their jobs effectively.
From my perspective, while both cycling and public transport possess inherent advantages, an equitable approach is necessary. This should not occur at the detriment of public transport. Rather, investments ought to be made to enhance the efficiency, accessibility, and coverage of public transport systems, ensuring their continued viability and attractiveness.
To conclude, a holistic urban transportation strategy that supports both cycling and robust public transport networks will provide the most benefits to cities, contributing to a sustainable and efficient urban environment.
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