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Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about news. However, others believe that they can learn news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about news. However, others believe that they can learn news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While many individuals assert that newspapers are the most reliable source of information, others argue that other media are hubs of information. From my perspective, both sources have their own advantages and disadvantages, yet I hold a belief that social media is superior thanks to its convenience and rapid speed.

The majority of individuals advocate that retrieving news from rolled-up newspapers is paramount owing to their accuracy and reliability. The content of printed publications offer greater preciseness, undergone strict censorship along with prestigious publisher’ names, mitigating the vulnerability of exposure to misleading news. This may, in turn, be accessible for older generations who are technologically illiterate. For example, The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal in the USA remains their long-lasting reputation for over decades. Therefore, newspapers cannot be supplanted in people’s perception.

Albeit the expediency of newspapers, I firmly claim that the fervent pace of media grants instantaneous access to a repository of multi-dimensional information free of charge. Furthermore, the frequent updated emergence of breaking news enables new seekers to catch up with happenings all over the world. The quarantine due to COVID-19 pandemic, particularly, deters people from freely commuting. With a wifi-connected smartphone or tablet, individuals are able to keep updated with up-to-minute news ranging from domestically to internationally. Simultaneously, depending on readers’ preferences for visual or auditory news, there is an infinite range of alternatives to cater to their choices. Such conveniences bring enjoyable experiences for information consumers.

In addition, while news enthusiasts are significantly beneficial from both sources, their downsides are noteworthy. For conventional publications, readers are likely to incur expenses on delivering, printing, yet, in turn, only have access to a limited range of information. Regarding online articles, news seekers are possibly manipulated with tabloid, or erroneous news, which possibly distorts the readers’ perception.

In conclusion, although printed newspapers maintain their accuracy and reliability, I still advocate that online articles offer immediate access to a comprehensive range of information. Therefore, each individual should meticulously consider which method to learn news and enhance news literacy due to their indisputable negative implications.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "hubs of information" -> "repositories of information"
    Explanation: Replacing "hubs of information" with "repositories of information" maintains the idea of various sources containing information while using a more formal and precise term, aligning with academic style.

  2. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: Changing "From my perspective" to "In my view" offers a more formal transition, avoiding the slightly informal tone of the original phrase while maintaining the author’s viewpoint.

  3. "yet I hold a belief" -> "however, I maintain the opinion"
    Explanation: Substituting "yet I hold a belief" with "however, I maintain the opinion" introduces a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  4. "paramount" -> "crucial"
    Explanation: Replacing "paramount" with "crucial" maintains the emphasis on importance but in a more formal and academically suitable manner.

  5. "preciseness" -> "precision"
    Explanation: Changing "greater preciseness" to "greater precision" provides a more standard and formal term, aligning with academic language conventions.

  6. "prestigious publisher’ names" -> "prestigious publishers’ names"
    Explanation: Correcting the possessive form from "publisher’" to "publishers’" ensures grammatical accuracy.

  7. "vulnerability of exposure to misleading news" -> "susceptibility to misinformation"
    Explanation: Substituting "vulnerability of exposure to misleading news" with "susceptibility to misinformation" offers a more precise and formal expression, avoiding the slightly informal tone in the original phrase.

  8. "may, in turn, be accessible" -> "may, in turn, be more accessible"
    Explanation: Adding "more" before "accessible" enhances the clarity and formality of the sentence.

  9. "for over decades" -> "for decades"
    Explanation: Removing "over" from "for over decades" results in a more concise and grammatically accurate expression.

  10. "Albeit the expediency of newspapers" -> "Despite the convenience of newspapers"
    Explanation: Replacing "Albeit the expediency of newspapers" with "Despite the convenience of newspapers" introduces a more formal and structured beginning to the paragraph.

  11. "fervent pace of media" -> "rapid pace of media"
    Explanation: Substituting "fervent pace of media" with "rapid pace of media" maintains the emphasis on speed while using a more standard and appropriate term.

  12. "new seekers" -> "news seekers"
    Explanation: Correcting the typo "new seekers" to "news seekers" ensures accuracy and clarity.

  13. "keep updated with up-to-minute news" -> "stay updated with up-to-the-minute news"
    Explanation: Adding "the" before "minute" corrects the phrase to "up-to-the-minute news," making it more accurate and formal.

  14. "conveniences bring enjoyable experiences" -> "these conveniences provide enjoyable experiences"
    Explanation: Changing "conveniences bring enjoyable experiences" to "these conveniences provide enjoyable experiences" offers a more precise and grammatically accurate expression.

  15. "beneficial from both sources" -> "benefit from both sources"
    Explanation: Removing "ful" from "beneficial" to "benefit" ensures correct usage and maintains a formal tone.

  16. "incur expenses on delivering, printing" -> "incur expenses for delivery and printing"
    Explanation: Replacing "incur expenses on delivering, printing" with "incur expenses for delivery and printing" offers a more precise and grammatically accurate expression.

  17. "erroneous news" -> "false information"
    Explanation: Substituting "erroneous news" with "false information" provides a more formal and commonly used term, enhancing clarity and precision.

  18. "distorts the readers’ perception" -> "distorts readers’ perceptions"
    Explanation: Correcting the possessive form from "readers’" to "readers’" ensures grammatical accuracy.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the views supporting newspapers, views favoring other media, and concludes with the writer’s own opinion on social media.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay is comprehensive in addressing the various components of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, asserting a preference for social media due to its convenience and rapid speed. This position is evident in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
    • How to improve: The essay excels in maintaining a clear position. However, it could further strengthen the consistency by explicitly restating the writer’s stance in the conclusion.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. For instance, it provides specific examples such as The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal to support the reliability of newspapers. Additionally, it elaborates on the convenience of online articles during the COVID-19 pandemic.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay, consider providing additional examples or data to further bolster the arguments and make them more convincing.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the role of newspapers and other media in delivering news. However, there are slight deviations, such as the mention of the quarantine due to COVID-19, which, although related, could be seen as a tangent.
    • How to improve: While related information can enhance the essay, ensure that any additional details are directly connected to the main topic to maintain a focused discussion.

In conclusion, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, offering a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a clear personal stance. The ideas are well-presented and supported, with minor room for improvement in providing additional examples and maintaining strict relevance to the main topic. Overall, the essay merits its Band Score of 8.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a structured approach in presenting arguments for both perspectives. The introduction outlines the two viewpoints effectively, followed by body paragraphs discussing the advantages and disadvantages of newspapers and other media. The conclusion summarizes the author’s opinion coherently. However, within paragraphs, there’s occasional inconsistency in maintaining a clear progression of ideas, leading to some disruptions in logical flow.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence, providing a roadmap for the subsequent discussion. Also, focus on maintaining coherence within paragraphs by using transitional phrases to connect ideas. For instance, employing phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" can aid in smoother transitions between arguments.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is generally well-structured with clear paragraphing, separating different ideas. Each paragraph seems to introduce a specific argument or viewpoint. However, there are instances where the unity within paragraphs weakens due to the introduction of multiple ideas without clear separation or development.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph revolves around a single central idea or argument. Avoid mixing multiple points within one paragraph as it can create confusion and disrupt the coherence. Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea to maintain clarity and coherence within the paragraph.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("Furthermore," "Albeit," "In addition") to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. However, the usage is somewhat repetitive, and the diversity of cohesive devices could be expanded for a smoother flow.
    • How to improve: Try incorporating a wider array of cohesive devices beyond the commonly used ones. These could include pronouns ("this," "these"), synonyms, parallel structures, or more sophisticated linking phrases. Varying the use of cohesive devices can enhance the essay’s coherence and make it more engaging for the reader.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a commendable structure and attempts to address the prompt effectively, focusing on refining paragraph structure, coherence within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. These improvements will contribute to a more seamless flow of ideas and a clearer presentation of arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing diverse words and phrases to convey ideas. For instance, phrases such as "hubs of information," "preciseness," and "fervent pace" showcase a sophisticated lexical repertoire.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the use of a wide range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more academic and domain-specific terms related to media, journalism, and technology. This will add depth to your analysis and contribute to a more nuanced discussion.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, particularly when discussing the advantages and disadvantages of newspapers and online media. For instance, the use of "mitigating the vulnerability" precisely conveys the idea of reducing the risk of exposure to misleading news.
    • How to improve: While overall precise, be cautious not to overuse certain terms. For instance, the repetition of "fervent pace" could be diversified to maintain precision without redundancy. Introduce synonyms or related terms to keep the language varied.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with only a few minor errors, such as "incur" instead of "incur expenses" and "indisputable" instead of "indispensable." However, these do not significantly impact understanding.
    • How to improve: Regularly proofread your work, paying attention to commonly misspelled words. Additionally, consider using spelling and grammar check tools to catch any overlooked errors. Practicing writing tasks under time constraints may also help improve accuracy.

In summary, the essay displays a strong command of vocabulary, effectively conveying ideas with precision. To elevate the lexical resource further, aim for an even broader range of vocabulary, maintain precision without repetition, and ensure meticulous proofreading to enhance overall spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay showcases a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and some attempts at using appositives and participial phrases. However, there’s a tendency to rely on simpler structures, impacting the overall richness and sophistication of the essay. Complex sentences are sometimes used but could be more frequent and varied to enhance coherence and depth.
    • How to improve: To enhance variety, aim to incorporate more complex structures such as relative clauses, conditional sentences, and inverted sentences. Experiment with different sentence beginnings and lengths to add flair and precision to your arguments.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Generally, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement and sentence structure could be refined for greater accuracy. For instance, there are occasional issues with tense consistency and minor errors in sentence construction that slightly affect clarity.
    • How to improve: Focus on maintaining consistent verb tenses throughout the essay. Ensure subject-verb agreement in complex sentences and pay attention to parallelism. Review sentence structures to avoid ambiguity and enhance clarity, especially when presenting complex ideas.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is used effectively in most instances, aiding readability and comprehension. However, there are some inconsistencies and errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences and occasional confusion with punctuation placement.
    • How to improve: Practice using commas in compound sentences to separate independent clauses. Review punctuation rules for commas with introductory phrases and clauses, and work on using punctuation consistently and accurately to improve the essay’s flow and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and structure, contributing to its coherence and readability. To enhance the score:

  • Aim for a wider variety of complex sentence structures to add sophistication and depth to your arguments.
  • Focus on maintaining consistent verb tenses and ensuring clarity in complex sentence constructions.
  • Refine punctuation skills, particularly regarding comma usage in compound sentences and introductory elements, to enhance readability and coherence.

This essay effectively presents arguments with clarity and coherence, and with some refinements in grammar, structure, and punctuation, it can further elevate its overall score. Keep practicing and experimenting with diverse sentence structures and precise grammar usage to enhance the quality of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

While some individuals assert that newspapers are the most reliable source of information, others argue that other media serve as repositories of information. From my view, both sources have their own advantages and disadvantages, yet I maintain the opinion that social media is superior thanks to its convenience and rapid speed.

The majority of individuals advocate that retrieving news from rolled-up newspapers is crucial owing to their accuracy and reliability. The content of printed publications offers greater precision, undergoing strict censorship along with prestigious publishers’ names, mitigating the susceptibility to misinformation. This may, in turn, be more accessible for older generations who are technologically illiterate. For example, The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal in the USA maintains their long-standing reputation for decades. Therefore, newspapers cannot be supplanted in people’s perception.

Despite the convenience of newspapers, I firmly maintain the opinion that the fervent pace of media grants instantaneous access to a repository of multi-dimensional information free of charge. Furthermore, the frequent updated emergence of breaking news enables news seekers to stay updated with up-to-the-minute news from domestically to internationally. The quarantine due to the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly, deters people from freely commuting. With a Wi-Fi-connected smartphone or tablet, individuals can keep updated with up-to-the-minute news. Simultaneously, depending on readers’ preferences for visual or auditory news, there is an infinite range of alternatives to cater to their choices. These conveniences provide enjoyable experiences for information consumers.

In addition, while news enthusiasts significantly benefit from both sources, their downsides are noteworthy. For conventional publications, readers are likely to incur expenses for delivery and printing, yet, in turn, only have access to a limited range of information. Regarding online articles, news seekers are possibly manipulated with tabloid or erroneous news, which may distort readers’ perceptions.

In conclusion, although printed newspapers maintain their accuracy and reliability, I still maintain the opinion that online articles offer immediate access to a comprehensive range of information. Therefore, each individual should carefully consider which method to learn news and enhance news literacy due to their indisputable negative implications.

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