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Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about news. However, others believe that they can learn news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about news. However, others believe that they can learn news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While many individuals claim that newspapers are the most reliable source of information, others argue that other media are hubs of information. From my perspective, both sources have their own advantages and disadvantages, yet I hold a belief that social media is superior thanks to its convenience and faster speed.
The majority of individuals advocate that retrieving news from rolled-up newspapers is paramount owing to their accuracy and reliability. The content of printed publications offer greater preciseness, undergone strict censorship along with prestigious publisher’ names, impeding the vulnerability of exposure to misleading news. Additionally, conventional articles with scientific writing styles and in-depth academic knowledge facilitate their consistency. This may in turn be accessible for older generations who are technologically illiterate. For example, The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal in the USA remains their reputation for over decades. Therefore, newspapers cannot be supplanted in people’s perception.
Albeit the expediency newspapers may bring, I firmly claim that the fervent pace of other media grants instantaneous access to a vast array of information. With the advent of advanced social networking, media becomes a repository of multi-dimensional information free of charge. Furthermore, the frequent updated occurrence of breaking news enables new seekers to catch up with happenings all over the world within a portable electronic device. Simultaneously, whether readers’ preference for visual or auditory news, there is an infinite range of alternatives to cater to their choices. Such conveniences bring enjoyable experiences for information consumers.
On the other hand, while news seekers are significantly beneficial from both sources, their downsides are noteworthy. For conventional publications, readers are likely to incur delivering, printing expenses, yet in turn, only have access to a limited range of information. Regardless of online articles, news seekers are possibly manipulated with tabloid, or erroneous news, which possibly distorts the readers’ perception.
In conclusion, although printed newspapers maintain their accuracy and reliability, I still believe that online articles offer immediate access to a comprehensive range of information. Therefore, each individual should meticulously consider which method to learn news and enhance news literacy due to their unavoidable negative implications.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "while many individuals claim" -> "while many assert"
    Explanation: Replacing "claim" with "assert" adds formality to the statement, aligning it with academic style and avoiding the colloquial tone of "claim."

  2. "other media are hubs of information" -> "alternative media outlets serve as information hubs"
    Explanation: Substituting "other media" with "alternative media outlets" and rephrasing the sentence enhances precision and formality, maintaining a more academic tone.

  3. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: Replacing "From my perspective" with "In my view" is a more formal transition, commonly used in academic writing, creating a subtle shift towards a more objective stance.

  4. "yet I hold a belief" -> "however, I maintain the opinion"
    Explanation: Substituting "yet I hold a belief" with "however, I maintain the opinion" provides a more formal expression of the author’s standpoint.

  5. "faster speed" -> "greater speed"
    Explanation: Replacing "faster" with "greater" maintains the author’s emphasis on speed while using a more sophisticated term in an academic context.

  6. "the majority of individuals advocate" -> "a significant number of proponents argue"
    Explanation: Changing "the majority of individuals advocate" to "a significant number of proponents argue" introduces a more formal and precise phrase, aligning with academic language.

  7. "paramount owing to" -> "paramount due to"
    Explanation: Substituting "paramount owing to" with "paramount due to" retains the formal tone while using a more standard phrase.

  8. "impeding the vulnerability of exposure" -> "mitigating the risk of being exposed"
    Explanation: Replacing "impeding the vulnerability of exposure" with "mitigating the risk of being exposed" maintains formality and clarifies the sentence’s meaning.

  9. "conventional articles with scientific writing styles" -> "traditional articles characterized by scientific writing styles"
    Explanation: Changing "conventional articles with scientific writing styles" to "traditional articles characterized by scientific writing styles" provides a more specific and precise description.

  10. "this may in turn be accessible" -> "this, in turn, may be accessible"
    Explanation: Adding commas for clarity, changing "this may in turn be accessible" to "this, in turn, may be accessible" improves the sentence’s flow while maintaining formality.

  11. "The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal in the USA remains their reputation for over decades." -> "The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal in the USA have maintained their reputation for decades."
    Explanation: Correcting the grammar and phrasing to improve clarity and formality.

  12. "Albeit the expediency newspapers may bring" -> "Although newspapers offer expediency"
    Explanation: Rewording "Albeit the expediency newspapers may bring" to "Although newspapers offer expediency" improves the sentence’s structure and formality.

  13. "I firmly claim" -> "I firmly assert"
    Explanation: Substituting "I firmly claim" with "I firmly assert" maintains the strength of the statement in a more formal manner.

  14. "fervent pace" -> "rapid pace"
    Explanation: Replacing "fervent pace" with "rapid pace" maintains the emphasis on speed while using a more suitable and formal term.

  15. "new seekers" -> "news enthusiasts"
    Explanation: Changing "new seekers" to "news enthusiasts" introduces a more formal and precise term.

  16. "a vast array of information" -> "a diverse range of information"
    Explanation: Substituting "vast array" with "diverse range" maintains the meaning while using a more precise and formal expression.

  17. "occurrence of breaking news" -> "emergence of breaking news"
    Explanation: Replacing "occurrence of breaking news" with "emergence of breaking news" adds formality without losing the intended meaning.

  18. "Whether readers’ preference" -> "Depending on readers’ preferences"
    Explanation: Changing "Whether readers’ preference" to "Depending on readers’ preferences" improves the sentence’s structure and formality.

  19. "conveniences bring enjoyable experiences" -> "these conveniences provide enjoyable experiences"
    Explanation: Replacing "conveniences bring enjoyable experiences" with "these conveniences provide enjoyable experiences" maintains formality and clarity.

  20. "downsides are noteworthy" -> "drawbacks are significant"
    Explanation: Substituting "downsides are noteworthy" with "drawbacks are significant" maintains formality while expressing the negative aspects more precisely.

  21. "readers are likely to incur delivering, printing expenses" -> "readers may incur expenses for delivery and printing"
    Explanation: Restructuring "readers are likely to incur delivering, printing expenses" to "readers may incur expenses for delivery and printing" improves clarity and formality.

  22. "online articles offer immediate access to a comprehensive range of information" -> "online articles provide immediate access to a comprehensive array of information"
    Explanation: Substituting "offer" with "provide" and rephrasing "range of information" to "array of information" adds formality and precision.

  23. "each individual should meticulously consider" -> "individuals should carefully consider"
    Explanation: Changing "each individual should meticulously consider" to "individuals should carefully consider" maintains formality and improves the sentence’s flow.

  24. "due to their unavoidable negative implications" -> "considering their inevitable negative implications"
    Explanation: Substituting "due to their unavoidable negative implications" with "considering their inevitable negative implications" provides a more formal expression of causation.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively covers both perspectives – the belief in newspapers as a reliable source and the opposing view favoring other media. It acknowledges the strengths of newspapers in terms of accuracy and reliability, while also highlighting the advantages of other media for faster access and variety of information. Each perspective receives fair attention and consideration.
    • How to improve: To enhance this further, consider expanding on the disadvantages of other media sources in more depth. Also, ensure a balanced representation of both sides by discussing potential drawbacks of newspapers beyond just their limitations to a limited range of information.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance favoring other media (specifically social media) due to their convenience and speed. The position is consistently supported throughout the essay with examples and reasoning.
    • How to improve: To strengthen this, provide a more nuanced discussion by acknowledging potential drawbacks of relying solely on social media for news consumption. Additionally, reinforce the stance by connecting it explicitly to the advantages highlighted in the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented logically and coherently. Both perspectives are extended with supporting details, such as referencing specific renowned newspapers and elaborating on the convenience and variety of information available through other media.
    • How to improve: To elevate this further, consider incorporating a deeper analysis of how the presented advantages of social media outweigh the drawbacks associated with it. Additionally, strengthening the examples used for both perspectives would add depth to the essay.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of newspapers and other media for obtaining news. However, there are minor instances where the discussion slightly veers off, especially when discussing the downsides of online articles.
    • How to improve: To improve coherence, ensure that every point made is directly tied to the discussion of how people acquire news through various mediums. Maintain a more focused approach when discussing drawbacks to avoid slight digressions.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively evaluates both perspectives while providing a clear personal opinion. To improve, consider a more comprehensive exploration of the drawbacks associated with the preferred medium and ensure consistent focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally coherent arrangement of ideas with a clear overall structure. The introduction presents both views and the writer’s opinion effectively. The body paragraphs discuss the advantages of newspapers and other media separately, providing supporting examples for each. The conclusion summarizes the writer’s stance. However, the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be stronger. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt, affecting the essay’s overall flow and cohesion.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, work on creating stronger connections between sentences and ideas within paragraphs. Use transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly guide the reader from one point to the next. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on the main idea or argument presented.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates effective paragraphing with distinct topic sentences. Each paragraph contains a main idea and supporting details, contributing to the essay’s coherence. However, some paragraphs might benefit from further development or clearer connections between ideas. Additionally, a more consistent length of paragraphs could enhance the overall structure.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the development of ideas within paragraphs by providing more elaborate examples or explanations where necessary. Ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by directly linking back to the main argument of the essay. Aim for a more consistent paragraph length to create a balanced and visually appealing essay structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a flexible use of cohesive devices, including pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases. These elements contribute to the overall coherence and progression of ideas. However, there are instances where the use of these devices is not entirely accurate or where their absence leads to some choppiness in the text.
    • How to improve: Aim for more precision and accuracy in using cohesive devices. Ensure that transitional words or phrases are appropriately placed to connect ideas seamlessly. Additionally, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the essay’s coherence further. Practice incorporating cohesive devices more consistently and accurately throughout the essay to create a smoother flow of ideas.

Overall, to elevate the Coherence and Cohesion score to a higher band, focus on enhancing the connections between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring a more fluid progression of ideas. Additionally, strengthen the use of cohesive devices to create a seamless and logically structured essay. Revising for clearer transitions and stronger coherence will significantly improve the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. There is evidence of varied word choices, such as "advocate," "repository," "multi-dimensional," and "manipulated," contributing to the essay’s overall richness.
    • How to improve: To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic. For instance, explore synonyms for commonly used words like "advocate" or "repository" to add nuance to your expression.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: While the vocabulary is generally clear, there are instances where more precise language could improve clarity. For example, the phrase "the fervent pace of other media" might benefit from a more specific description of the pace (e.g., rapid, dynamic) to convey a clearer meaning.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the specificity of your language. Instead of opting for broad terms, aim for precision to convey your ideas with utmost clarity. Consider using contextually relevant adjectives or adverbs to refine your expression.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits few spelling errors, and those present do not significantly detract from the overall clarity of the content. The writing is largely accurate in terms of spelling, contributing to a smooth reading experience.
    • How to improve: Maintain your focus on accurate spelling. Consider proofreading your work to catch any potential errors that might have been overlooked. Additionally, be attentive to common spelling pitfalls and practice those areas to further enhance spelling accuracy.

General Comments:

  • Your essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary, but to elevate it to a Band 7 level, strive for even greater diversity and precision.
  • Work on refining the specificity of your language to ensure that your ideas are communicated with utmost clarity.
  • Continue with the meticulous approach to spelling to maintain the high level of accuracy observed in this essay.
  • Consider exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic to showcase a broader lexical range.

Overall, a solid performance, and with targeted improvements, you can aim for a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, though there is limited flexibility. Some complex structures are present, but there is a noticeable lack of variety. For instance, the essay often relies on straightforward sentences without employing more sophisticated constructions. This impacts the overall richness of expression and may limit the essay’s potential to reach a higher band score.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with relative clauses, appositives, and varied sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of consistently starting sentences with subject pronouns, experiment with introductory phrases or clauses to add complexity and depth to your writing.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates accurate grammar usage, with many error-free sentences. However, there are a few instances where errors are present. For instance, the phrase "the fervent pace of other media grants instantaneous access" could be refined for better clarity and precision. While these errors do not impede communication significantly, addressing them would contribute to a more polished and error-free essay.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to sentence construction and grammar, especially in complex structures. Review and revise sentences to ensure they are clear and error-free. Consider seeking feedback from others to catch any potential grammatical errors that might have been overlooked.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation in the essay is generally well-controlled. There are correct uses of punctuation marks such as commas and periods. However, there are instances where punctuation could be refined for greater precision. For example, the phrase "whether readers’ preference for visual or auditory news, there is an infinite range of alternatives" could benefit from more accurate punctuation to enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining punctuation usage for better clarity and precision. Pay attention to the placement of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks to ensure that they enhance the overall flow and understanding of the essay. Consider consulting punctuation guides for specific cases, and practice incorporating varied punctuation in your writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates competency in grammar and punctuation, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures. Enhancing sentence complexity and refining grammar and punctuation in specific instances will contribute to an overall improvement in the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

While many assert that newspapers are the most dependable source of information, others argue that alternative media outlets serve as information hubs. In my view, both sources possess distinct advantages and drawbacks. However, I maintain the opinion that social media surpasses newspapers due to its convenience and faster speed.

A significant number of proponents argue that retrieving news from traditional newspapers is paramount owing to their accuracy and reliability. The content of printed publications offers greater precision, having undergone strict censorship along with prestigious publishers’ names, thereby mitigating the risk of being exposed to misleading news. Additionally, traditional articles, characterized by scientific writing styles and in-depth academic knowledge, facilitate consistency, which may be accessible for older generations who are technologically illiterate. For example, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal in the USA have maintained their reputation for decades. Therefore, newspapers are deeply ingrained in people’s perception.

Although newspapers offer expediency, I firmly assert that the rapid pace of other media provides instantaneous access to a vast array of information. With the emergence of advanced social networking, media becomes a repository of multi-dimensional information, free of charge. Furthermore, the frequent updating of breaking news enables news enthusiasts to catch up with happenings worldwide within a portable electronic device. Depending on readers’ preferences, these conveniences provide enjoyable experiences for information consumers.

On the other hand, while both sources significantly benefit news seekers, drawbacks are significant. For conventional publications, readers may incur expenses for delivery and printing, yet, in turn, only have access to a limited range of information. Conversely, online articles provide immediate access to a comprehensive array of information, but individuals should carefully consider the inevitable negative implications, such as potential manipulation with tabloid or erroneous news that could distort readers’ perception.

In conclusion, while printed newspapers maintain their accuracy and reliability, I still believe that online articles offer immediate access to a comprehensive range of information. Therefore, individuals should meticulously consider which method to learn news, considering their unavoidable negative implications, and enhance news literacy.

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