Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, other people believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, other people believe that they can learn news better through other media.
Discuss both view and give your opinion?

People have divergent views with regard to the question of whether newspapers are the best way to update news or not. While a school of thought holds the opinion that the most effective way to learn news is reading newspapers, another claims that it is better for them to consume information through other media. Personally, I side with the latter idea
On the one hand, it is seemingly comprehensible why some subscribe to the view that newspapers are the best way to learn news regarding current events.
Firstly, newspapers are renowned for their rigorous editorial processes, which involve comprehensive fact-checking and expert review by qualified teams. This meticulous scrutiny ensures that the information presented is accurate and reliable, providing readers with trustworthy sources and maintaining high standards of journalistic integrity.
An added positive is that reading traditional printed press has been a long-standing habit, particularly among elderly and businessmen for decades. This longstanding practice has become an integral part of their daily lives, fostering a deep engagement with current events and enhancing their comprehensive understanding.
Despite the previously discussed points, I firmly believe that digital platforms offer a superior means for understanding current events
The key reason for this shift is the environmentally friendly nature of online news and mobile apps. By reducing reliance on traditional print media, these digital platforms lead to a substantial decrease in paper consumption, thereby making a significant contribution to environmental conservation and sustainability.
Furthermore, the convenience and time-saving benefits of digital news platforms are particularly evident as they allow users to access updates while multitasking, thus seamlessly fitting into their busy schedules. For instance, individuals can stay informed on current events while commuting or exercising, maximizing productivity and ensuring that they remain engaged with important information despite their fast-paced lifestyles.
In summary, while there are some sufficient justifications to support the view that newspapers are the best way, it is my firm conviction that they can learn news better through other media.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "People have divergent views with regard to the question of whether" -> "There is a divergence of opinion regarding the question of whether"
   Explanation: The phrase "There is a divergence of opinion regarding" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "People have divergent views."

2. "the best way to update news" -> "the most effective method of acquiring news"
   Explanation: "The most effective method of acquiring news" is more formal and specific than "the best way to update news," which is vague and informal.

3. "Personally, I side with the latter idea" -> "I concur with the latter perspective"
   Explanation: "I concur with the latter perspective" is more formal and academically appropriate than "Personally, I side with the latter idea," which is somewhat informal.

4. "it is seemingly comprehensible why" -> "it is understandable why"
   Explanation: "It is understandable why" is a more direct and formal expression than "it is seemingly comprehensible," which is redundant and less precise.

5. "are renowned for their rigorous editorial processes" -> "are distinguished by their rigorous editorial processes"
   Explanation: "Are distinguished by" is a more formal and precise way to describe the reputation of newspapers, compared to "are renowned for."

6. "An added positive is that" -> "Additionally, it is noted that"
   Explanation: "Additionally, it is noted that" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "An added positive is that," which is colloquial.

7. "longstanding practice has become an integral part of their daily lives" -> "long-standing practice has become an integral component of their daily routines"
   Explanation: "Long-standing practice has become an integral component of their daily routines" uses more precise vocabulary and avoids the redundancy of "part of their daily lives."

8. "fostering a deep engagement with current events" -> "promoting a profound engagement with current events"
   Explanation: "Promoting a profound engagement" is more formal and precise than "fostering a deep engagement," aligning better with academic style.

9. "The key reason for this shift is the environmentally friendly nature of online news and mobile apps" -> "The primary reason for this shift is the environmentally friendly nature of online news and mobile applications"
   Explanation: "The primary reason" is more formal than "The key reason," and "mobile applications" is more precise than "mobile apps."

10. "By reducing reliance on traditional print media" -> "By diminishing reliance on traditional print media"
    Explanation: "Diminishing" is a more formal synonym for "reducing," enhancing the academic tone.

11. "thereby making a significant contribution to environmental conservation and sustainability" -> "thereby significantly contributing to environmental conservation and sustainability"
    Explanation: "Significantly contributing" is a more formal and grammatically correct expression than "making a significant contribution."

12. "they allow users to access updates while multitasking" -> "they enable users to access updates while multitasking"
    Explanation: "Enable" is a more formal verb than "allow," fitting better in an academic context.

13. "maximizing productivity and ensuring that they remain engaged with important information" -> "maximizing productivity and ensuring their continued engagement with critical information"
    Explanation: "Their continued engagement with critical information" is more formal and precise than "they remain engaged with important information."

14. "it is my firm conviction that they can learn news better through other media" -> "I am convinced that they can acquire news more effectively through other media"
    Explanation: "I am convinced that they can acquire news more effectively" is more formal and precise, replacing the informal "it is my firm conviction that they can learn news better."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether newspapers or other media are the best way to learn news. The first body paragraph presents the viewpoint in favor of newspapers, highlighting their reliability and the traditional engagement of certain demographics. The second body paragraph counters this by advocating for digital platforms, emphasizing their environmental benefits and convenience. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the conclusion could more explicitly summarize the arguments presented for newspapers before stating the author’s preference.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the conclusion could include a brief recap of the main points made for both sides before firmly stating the author’s opinion. This would ensure a more balanced presentation of the arguments and reinforce the discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, with the author consistently advocating for the superiority of digital media over newspapers. The use of phrases like "Personally, I side with the latter idea" and "I firmly believe" clearly indicates the author’s stance. However, the transition between discussing the merits of newspapers and the author’s opinion could be smoother to reinforce the position.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the discussion of newspapers to their own opinion. For example, after discussing the merits of newspapers, a sentence like "Despite these strengths, I believe…" would create a more seamless transition.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the discussion of digital news platforms. The author provides specific reasons, such as environmental benefits and convenience, which are well-developed. However, the arguments for newspapers could benefit from additional examples or elaboration to strengthen the case for that viewpoint.
  • How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the author could include specific examples or statistics related to the readership of newspapers or the impact of digital media on news consumption. This would provide a more robust foundation for the arguments presented.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic, discussing the merits of both newspapers and other media in the context of news consumption. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the arguments are relevant and well-aligned with the prompt. However, the conclusion could be more directly tied to the prompt by reiterating the importance of the discussion.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author could ensure that the conclusion not only states their opinion but also reflects on the implications of the discussion. A sentence that ties back to the relevance of both forms of media in today’s society would reinforce the essay’s adherence to the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With minor adjustments in transitions, elaboration, and conclusion, it could achieve an even higher level of coherence and depth.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, with the first paragraph discussing the advantages of newspapers and the second focusing on the benefits of digital media. However, the transition between the two main ideas could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "Despite the previously discussed points" serves as a transition but could be more effectively linked to the arguments presented in the first paragraph.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases that connect the ideas more fluidly. For example, instead of "Despite the previously discussed points," you might say, "While newspapers have their merits, it is important to consider the advantages that digital platforms offer." This would create a more cohesive link between the contrasting viewpoints.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the merits of newspapers, while the second addresses the advantages of digital media. However, the concluding paragraph could benefit from a clearer summary of the main points discussed, as it currently feels somewhat abrupt and does not fully encapsulate the arguments made.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points made in the essay. Consider restating the main arguments from both sides before reinforcing your opinion. This will provide a more comprehensive closure to the discussion and help reinforce the essay’s overall coherence.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Furthermore," and "In summary," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For example, the use of "Firstly" and "An added positive" could be varied to include other transitional phrases or synonyms that serve the same purpose.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of starting with "Firstly," you could use "To begin with," or "In the first instance." Additionally, employing phrases like "On the contrary" or "In contrast" when discussing opposing views can enhance the essay’s cohesiveness and make the argumentation more dynamic.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "divergent views," "meticulous scrutiny," and "environmentally friendly nature." These phrases effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, some vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "best way to learn news," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or alternative expressions to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "learn news," phrases like "stay informed," "receive updates," or "access information" could be employed. Additionally, expanding the vocabulary related to digital platforms and their advantages could further enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the most effective way to learn news" could be more accurately stated as "the most effective way to stay informed." This distinction emphasizes the action of receiving information rather than the act of learning, which can imply a more passive engagement.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on the context in which words are used. Reviewing synonyms and their connotations can help in selecting the most appropriate term. For instance, instead of "longstanding habit," consider "established routine," which may convey a more active engagement with the practice of reading newspapers.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "environmentally," "comprehensive," and "integrity" are spelled correctly, which reflects well on the writer’s attention to detail.
  • How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify any potential errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary variety, precision, and maintaining high standards of spelling. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively utilized, such as "While a school of thought holds the opinion that the most effective way to learn news is reading newspapers, another claims that it is better for them to consume information through other media." This sentence showcases the use of subordinate clauses and contrasting ideas. Additionally, the use of transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "Despite the previously discussed points" helps in organizing thoughts clearly. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced. For example, "An added positive is that reading traditional printed press has been a long-standing habit" could be rephrased to incorporate more complex structures.
  • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting with "Firstly," try beginning with a dependent clause: "Given that newspapers are renowned for their rigorous editorial processes, they are often viewed as the best source of news." This approach not only enhances complexity but also maintains reader engagement.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, the phrase "the environmentally friendly nature of online news and mobile apps" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the missing comma in "Despite the previously discussed points, I firmly believe that digital platforms offer a superior means for understanding current events." Additionally, the phrase "while a school of thought holds the opinion" could be simplified to improve clarity without losing meaning.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation, pay close attention to the use of commas, particularly in complex sentences. Reviewing rules for comma placement in introductory clauses and before conjunctions can be beneficial. Additionally, consider revising sentences for clarity and conciseness. For example, instead of "an integral part of their daily lives, fostering a deep engagement with current events," you could say, "an integral part of their daily lives that fosters deep engagement with current events." This not only clarifies the sentence but also improves its flow.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can further enhance their writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have divergent views regarding the question of whether newspapers are the best way to update news or not. While a school of thought holds the opinion that the most effective method of acquiring news is reading newspapers, another claims that it is better for them to consume information through other media. Personally, I concur with the latter perspective.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some subscribe to the view that newspapers are the best way to learn news regarding current events. Firstly, newspapers are renowned for their rigorous editorial processes, which involve comprehensive fact-checking and expert review by qualified teams. This meticulous scrutiny ensures that the information presented is accurate and reliable, providing readers with trustworthy sources and maintaining high standards of journalistic integrity.

Additionally, it is noted that reading traditional printed press has been a long-standing habit, particularly among the elderly and businessmen for decades. This long-standing practice has become an integral component of their daily routines, fostering a deep engagement with current events and enhancing their comprehensive understanding.

Despite the previously discussed points, I firmly believe that digital platforms offer a superior means for understanding current events. The primary reason for this shift is the environmentally friendly nature of online news and mobile applications. By diminishing reliance on traditional print media, these digital platforms lead to a substantial decrease in paper consumption, thereby significantly contributing to environmental conservation and sustainability.

Furthermore, the convenience and time-saving benefits of digital news platforms are particularly evident as they enable users to access updates while multitasking, thus seamlessly fitting into their busy schedules. For instance, individuals can stay informed on current events while commuting or exercising, maximizing productivity and ensuring their continued engagement with critical information despite their fast-paced lifestyles.

In summary, while there are some sufficient justifications to support the view that newspapers are the best way, I am convinced that they can acquire news more effectively through other media.