Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today’s life. Others argue that the history is a value source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In this modern life, many people think that the past teaches nothing to present or modern life. However, other individuals insist that the past contains a variety of invaluable information. This essay is going to analyse both views and justify why history is a good teacher for modern humanity.
On the one hand, past world and modern society are 2 separate notions. Indeed, the past is everything that have happened while present is everything which are continuing. Therefore, the impact of history on fields, which are dedicated by governments is unsurprisingly far-reaching. Taking economy as an example, most feudalistic dynasties prioritize agricultural as their main point for the development of their economy and their financial lessons are also mostly associated with agriculture. In contrast, those lessons that our ancestors conducted has became outdated in this industrializing society. The tutorials, tips and tricks about using animals for farming is not widely known in this era anymore since most people tend to live in cities – where most people live and become office workers for a living.
On the other hand, the past is an excellent lecturer to develop patriotism and a perfect mould to shape an ethnic's identity. Indeed, most of the most impactful events in the past has been recorded in documents. most of the heroic battles, legendary heroes, brave individuals are wrote down into stories, into history lessons which are helping a nation to develop their children's love for their motherland. Taking the battle of Stalingrad as an example. The battle was a legendary play of Russian's ancestors who were fighting against the Nazis to protect their beloved families, and motherland. The image of the reckless soldiers embraces the pride, the love about the motherland inside Russians, which will be the platform for their ethnic's identity.
To conclude, learning from the past is not really beneficial for most modern humans but the values that the past can provide is definitely vital for ethnics all over the world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this modern life" -> "In contemporary society"
Explanation: "In this modern life" is overly simplistic and informal. "In contemporary society" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, enhancing the formality and specificity of the context.
"many people think" -> "many individuals believe"
Explanation: "Many people think" is somewhat informal and vague. "Many individuals believe" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic discourse.
"the past teaches nothing to present or modern life" -> "the past offers no lessons for the present or modern society"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise.
"other individuals insist" -> "others argue"
Explanation: "Insist" can imply a more forceful or dogmatic stance, which may not be intended here. "Argue" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term.
"This essay is going to analyse" -> "This essay will analyze"
Explanation: "Is going to" is informal and less precise in academic writing. "Will analyze" is more formal and appropriate for an academic essay.
"past world and modern society" -> "past and present societies"
Explanation: "Past world" is an unclear and informal phrase. "Past and present societies" is clearer and more formal.
"2 separate notions" -> "two distinct concepts"
Explanation: "2" is informal and should be spelled out in academic writing. "Two distinct concepts" is more formal and precise.
"the past is everything that have happened" -> "the past comprises all that has occurred"
Explanation: "The past is everything that have happened" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The past comprises all that has occurred" corrects the grammar and enhances formality.
"fields, which are dedicated by governments" -> "fields governed by governments"
Explanation: "Dedicated by governments" is unclear and awkward. "Governed by governments" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing.
"most feudalistic dynasties prioritize agricultural as their main point" -> "most feudal dynasties primarily focused on agriculture"
Explanation: "Prioritize agricultural as their main point" is awkward and unclear. "Primarily focused on agriculture" is more direct and formal.
"those lessons that our ancestors conducted has became outdated" -> "the lessons our ancestors conducted have become outdated"
Explanation: "Has became" is grammatically incorrect. "Have become" corrects the verb agreement and tense, improving the sentence structure.
"The tutorials, tips and tricks about using animals for farming is not widely known" -> "The tutorials, tips, and tricks on using animals for farming are no longer widely known"
Explanation: "Is not widely known" is informal and lacks the necessary verb agreement. "Are no longer widely known" corrects the verb agreement and enhances formality.
"most of the most impactful events in the past has been recorded" -> "many of the most significant events in the past have been recorded"
Explanation: "Most of the most impactful" is redundant and awkward. "Many of the most significant" simplifies and clarifies the phrase.
"most of the heroic battles, legendary heroes, brave individuals are wrote down" -> "many heroic battles, legendary heroes, and brave individuals have been recorded"
Explanation: "Are wrote down" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Have been recorded" corrects the verb tense and formality.
"the battle of Stalingrad as an example" -> "the Battle of Stalingrad as an example"
Explanation: Capitalizing "Battle of Stalingrad" is necessary for proper noun usage in formal writing.
"the values that the past can provide is definitely vital" -> "the values that the past can provide are undoubtedly essential"
Explanation: "Is definitely vital" is informal and lacks the necessary verb agreement. "Are undoubtedly essential" corrects the verb agreement and enhances formality.
"ethnics all over the world" -> "ethnicities worldwide"
Explanation: "Ethnics" is incorrect and informal; "ethnicities" is the correct term. "Worldwide" is more formal than "all over the world."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the value of studying history. The first paragraph presents the perspective that the past teaches nothing relevant to modern life, while the second paragraph argues that history is a valuable source of information. However, the discussion of both views lacks depth, particularly in the first viewpoint, which could benefit from more examples or elaboration on why some believe history is irrelevant. The conclusion reiterates the author’s opinion but does not fully synthesize the arguments made.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should include more comprehensive examples for both viewpoints. For instance, when discussing the irrelevance of historical lessons, the author could mention specific historical events or figures that are perceived as outdated. Additionally, a more balanced conclusion that summarizes the strengths of both arguments before stating the author’s opinion would provide a clearer resolution.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that history is a valuable teacher for modern humanity. However, this position is somewhat overshadowed by the initial focus on the opposing view. The transition between discussing both perspectives could be smoother, and the author’s opinion could be more explicitly stated throughout the essay, rather than only in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the body paragraphs. Using phrases like "In my opinion" or "I believe" can help signal the author’s stance. Additionally, reinforcing this position with supporting arguments in each paragraph will create a more cohesive narrative.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks sufficient development and support. For example, while the economic argument is introduced, it is not fully explored or connected to the broader implications of learning from history. The second paragraph provides a more vivid example with the battle of Stalingrad, but it could benefit from further analysis of how this historical event influences modern identity.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing additional examples, explaining their relevance, and discussing their implications in more detail. Each paragraph should ideally have a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the idea.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the relevance of history to modern life. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the first paragraph where the discussion of feudalism and agriculture seems somewhat disconnected from the main argument about the relevance of history.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of the essay. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the prompt. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements and sticking to specific examples will help keep the discussion relevant.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from deeper analysis, clearer positioning, and more focused development of ideas.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the irrelevance of historical lessons in modern economies to the importance of history in shaping national identity feels abrupt. The connection between these ideas could be strengthened to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, integrating linking phrases such as "On the contrary" or "Similarly" can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the flow of the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint; however, the second paragraph could benefit from more structured development. For example, the transition from discussing the past’s role in patriotism to specific historical examples is somewhat jarring, and the paragraph lacks a clear concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and ends with a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point. This will help reinforce the argument and provide a more cohesive reading experience. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which are effective in signaling contrasting viewpoints. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. For instance, the use of conjunctions and transitional phrases is somewhat repetitive, which can detract from the overall fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," and "Conversely." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and synonyms are used effectively to avoid repetition and maintain clarity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "invaluable information," "impact," and "patriotism." However, there are instances where the vocabulary used is repetitive or lacks sophistication. For example, the phrase "the past teaches nothing to present or modern life" could be expressed more variably. Additionally, phrases like "the past is everything that have happened" could be improved for clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "the past," consider using "historical context" or "previous eras." Engaging with a thesaurus or reading more academic texts can help in discovering alternative vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the tutorials, tips and tricks about using animals for farming" could be more accurately described as "traditional agricultural practices." Additionally, the term "mould to shape an ethnic’s identity" is awkward; "mold" is typically used in a physical sense, and "ethnic’s identity" should be "ethnic identity" for grammatical correctness.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the context of their arguments and choose words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. Practicing paraphrasing sentences and using more specific terms related to the topic can also enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "have" instead of "has," "wrote" instead of "written," and "ethnic’s" instead of "ethnic." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, possibly reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also help identify mistakes before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both views, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as “Indeed, the past is everything that have happened while present is everything which are continuing” shows an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, such as “the past is everything that have happened” (should be “has happened”) and “which are continuing” (should be “that is continuing”). The essay also includes simpler structures, which can limit the overall complexity and sophistication expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex and compound sentences, ensuring that they are grammatically correct. For example, varying the use of subordinate clauses and integrating more transitional phrases could improve the flow and coherence of the essay. Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading more complex texts can help in developing this skill.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from its clarity and professionalism. For instance, “the past is everything that have happened” should use “has” instead of “have,” and “the tutorials, tips and tricks about using animals for farming is not widely known” should be “are” instead of “is.” Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and periods, affect the readability of the text. The phrase “most of the most impactful events in the past has been recorded in documents” is also problematic due to the redundancy of “most” and the subject-verb agreement error.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and practicing with exercises can help solidify these concepts. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation and grammatical errors before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality. Utilizing grammar-checking tools may also assist in identifying and correcting mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both views effectively, addressing the grammatical inaccuracies and diversifying sentence structures will be crucial for achieving a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, many people think that the past teaches nothing to present or modern life. However, other individuals insist that the past contains a variety of invaluable information. This essay will analyze both views and justify why history is a good teacher for modern humanity.

On the one hand, past world and modern society are two distinct concepts. Indeed, the past comprises everything that has occurred while the present is everything that is continuing. Therefore, the impact of history on fields governed by governments is unsurprisingly far-reaching. Taking the economy as an example, most feudalistic dynasties primarily focused on agriculture as their main point for the development of their economy, and their financial lessons are also mostly associated with agriculture. In contrast, the lessons that our ancestors conducted have become outdated in this industrializing society. The tutorials, tips, and tricks about using animals for farming are not widely known in this era anymore since most people tend to live in cities—where they work as office workers for a living.

On the other hand, the past is an excellent lecturer to develop patriotism and a perfect mold to shape an ethnicity’s identity. Indeed, many of the most impactful events in the past have been recorded in documents. Many heroic battles, legendary heroes, and brave individuals have been written down into stories and history lessons, which help a nation develop their children’s love for their motherland. Taking the Battle of Stalingrad as an example, the battle was a legendary event involving Russian ancestors who fought against the Nazis to protect their beloved families and motherland. The image of the reckless soldiers embodies the pride and love for the motherland within Russians, which will be the foundation for their ethnicity’s identity.

To conclude, learning from the past is not really beneficial for most modern humans, but the values that the past can provide are definitely vital for ethnicities all over the world.