Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is a prevailing view that young individuals using electronic devices for communication will negatively impact their reading and writing skills. Although digital devices provide numerous benefits, I generally agree that these gadgets will adversely affect young people's writing and reading abilities. These effects will be discussed in this essay.

It is crucial to acknowledge that the texting habit on phones and computers can lead to poor handwriting. Owing to the widespread use of technology, individuals often opt for keyboards over pens when writing on paper. As a result, following a prolonged period of disuse, young individuals' writing skills become illegible and difficult for others to read and understand. Therefore, young people today display poor handwriting because of their excessive reliance on technological devices.

Another factor contributing to the fact that electronic gadgets negatively affect young people's writing and reading skills is the introduction of text-based abbreviated language into formal writing. As many young people today have better access to computers and cellphones, cyber slang and teen codes have emerged and become increasingly popular among them. For instance, when it comes to handwriting assignments from schools, many students often write misspelled words in their formal writings. Consequently, teachers and older individuals may struggle to read those texts produced by the young.

In conclusion, despite the benefits of using computers or mobile phones for communication, it still results in a decline in the reading and writing skills of young people. Hence, it is true that young individuals should not overuse these digital devices.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is a prevailing view" -> "It is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: "It is widely acknowledged" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a commonly held opinion, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"young individuals using electronic devices" -> "young individuals who use electronic devices"
Explanation: Adding "who" clarifies the subject of the sentence, improving grammatical accuracy and readability.
"will negatively impact" -> "will negatively affect"
Explanation: "Affect" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe the influence of something on something else, making it more suitable for formal writing.
"gadgets" -> "electronic devices"
Explanation: "Gadgets" is somewhat informal and vague; "electronic devices" is more specific and appropriate for an academic context.
"adversely affect" -> "negatively impact"
Explanation: "Negatively impact" is a more precise and formal way to describe the adverse effects, aligning better with academic style.
"the texting habit on phones and computers" -> "the use of texting on phones and computers"
Explanation: "The use of texting" is more specific and formal, avoiding the colloquial tone of "the texting habit."
"often opt for keyboards over pens" -> "frequently choose keyboards over pens"
Explanation: "Frequently choose" is more formal and precise than "often opt for," which is slightly informal and vague.
"following a prolonged period of disuse" -> "after a prolonged period of disuse"
Explanation: "After" is more precise and formal than "following," which can be less specific in this context.
"young people today display poor handwriting" -> "young individuals today exhibit poor handwriting"
Explanation: "Exhibit" is more formal and academically appropriate than "display," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" in formal writing.
"cyber slang and teen codes" -> "cyber slang and colloquialisms"
Explanation: "Colloquialisms" is a more precise term that encompasses the informal language used in digital communication, enhancing the academic tone.
"misspelled words" -> "misspellings"
Explanation: "Misspellings" is the correct noun form, which is more formal and appropriate in academic writing than the verb form "misspelled words."
"Consequently, teachers and older individuals may struggle" -> "Consequently, teachers and older individuals may find it challenging"
Explanation: "Find it challenging" is a more formal expression than "struggle," which can imply a more emotional or colloquial tone.
"it still results in a decline" -> "this still leads to a decline"
Explanation: "This" is more specific and formal than "it," and "leads to" is a more precise verb choice than "results in," which can be vague.
"young individuals should not overuse these digital devices" -> "young individuals should not overutilize these digital devices"
Explanation: "Overutilize" is a more precise and formal term than "overuse," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. The introduction succinctly outlines the author’s agreement with this viewpoint, and the body paragraphs provide relevant examples to support this claim. The discussion of poor handwriting and the use of abbreviated language directly relates to the impact of technology on writing skills. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the extent of this impact, as the prompt asks for an evaluation of "to what extent" the author agrees or disagrees.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include a counterargument acknowledging the potential benefits of technology on reading and writing skills, such as increased access to information and opportunities for writing practice through digital platforms. This would provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that the use of electronic devices negatively affects young people’s writing and reading abilities. The author reiterates this point in both the introduction and conclusion, ensuring that the reader understands the central argument. However, the phrase "I generally agree" in the introduction could imply some uncertainty, which may weaken the overall clarity of the position.
- How to improve: The author should consider using more definitive language in the introduction to strengthen the position. For example, stating "I firmly believe" instead of "I generally agree" would convey a stronger conviction. Additionally, reinforcing the position in each body paragraph with clear topic sentences would further enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas regarding the negative effects of technology on writing skills, such as poor handwriting and the use of cyber slang. Each point is supported with examples, such as the mention of misspelled words in formal writing. However, the development of these ideas could be more thorough. For instance, the discussion of handwriting could include statistics or studies that illustrate the decline in handwriting skills among young people.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to elaborate further on each point. Including specific examples, data, or expert opinions would strengthen the arguments. Additionally, exploring the implications of these issues on young people’s academic performance or future communication skills could provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of how technology affects young people’s reading and writing skills. The author does not deviate from this central theme, which is a strength of the essay. Each paragraph contributes to the overarching argument, and there are no irrelevant tangents.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally focused, the author should ensure that all examples directly relate back to the main argument. For instance, when discussing the impact of cyber slang, it could be beneficial to explicitly connect this to how it affects formal writing in educational settings. This would reinforce the relevance of each point made.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a clear argument supported by relevant examples. To achieve an even higher band score, the author should consider addressing the extent of their agreement more thoroughly, strengthening their position with definitive language, expanding on the development of ideas, and ensuring all examples are tightly connected to the main argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that young people’s reading and writing skills are negatively impacted by the use of electronic devices. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance and sets the stage for the discussion. Each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the thesis, which helps maintain a logical flow. For example, the first body paragraph discusses poor handwriting due to reliance on keyboards, while the second focuses on the use of abbreviated language in formal writing. However, the connection between these points could be strengthened to enhance overall coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs to clarify how each point builds on the previous one. For instance, at the beginning of the second paragraph, a transitional phrase such as "In addition to poor handwriting, another significant issue is…" could help connect the ideas more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets up the thesis, while the body paragraphs explore specific effects of technology on writing and reading skills. However, the conclusion could be more developed to summarize the main points and reinforce the argument, as it currently feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph not only presents a new idea but also includes a concluding sentence that ties back to the thesis. The conclusion should also briefly restate the key arguments made in the body paragraphs, providing a more cohesive ending to the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "consequently," and "although," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance fluency and coherence. For instance, the use of phrases like "furthermore," "moreover," or "on the other hand" could add depth to the argumentation.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, practice incorporating a broader range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the flow of ideas. For example, instead of repeatedly referring to "young people," you could use "they" or "these individuals" to create smoother transitions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, developing paragraph conclusions, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "prevailing view," "adversely affect," and "cyber slang." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "young individuals" and "electronic devices," which appear multiple times. This limits the overall lexical variety and sophistication expected at higher band scores.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "young individuals," you could use terms like "youth," "teenagers," or "adolescents." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "detrimental," "diminution," or "linguistic proficiency," could elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "cyber slang and teen codes" could be seen as vague; it does not specify what these codes entail. Furthermore, "poor handwriting" is a broad term that could be more accurately described as "illegible handwriting" or "inconsistent handwriting quality."
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on using specific terms that convey your ideas more clearly. Instead of "poor handwriting," consider describing the specific issues, such as "illegible script" or "inconsistent letter formation." Additionally, when discussing "text-based abbreviated language," it would be beneficial to provide examples or clarify what constitutes this language to enhance understanding.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "misspelled" in the context of "misspelled words." While the overall spelling is mostly accurate, these small mistakes can detract from the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or writing software can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards for commonly misspelled words can further improve spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy could help elevate the Lexical Resource score. Focusing on these areas will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Although digital devices provide numerous benefits, I generally agree that these gadgets will adversely affect young people’s writing and reading abilities" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys the author’s stance. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and transitions to enhance the flow and coherence. The use of phrases like "Another factor contributing to" is effective, but similar structures are repeated, which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more introductory phrases, use passive voice where appropriate, and experiment with different ways to connect ideas. For instance, varying the use of conjunctions and adverbial phrases can create a more engaging reading experience. Additionally, integrating rhetorical questions or conditional clauses could further enrich the essay’s complexity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "young individuals’ writing skills become illegible" correctly uses the possessive form, but the sentence could be clearer if rephrased to avoid ambiguity. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "when it comes to handwriting assignments from schools." The use of "cyber slang and teen codes have emerged and become increasingly popular among them" is grammatically correct but could be more concise.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation placement. It would be beneficial to review sentence structures that often lead to confusion, ensuring that each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning. Additionally, practicing with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls in academic writing can help solidify understanding and application of grammatical rules.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the writer could achieve an even higher score.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a widely acknowledged view that young individuals who use electronic devices for communication will negatively impact their reading and writing skills. Although digital devices provide numerous benefits, I generally agree that these gadgets will adversely affect young people’s writing and reading abilities. These effects will be discussed in this essay.

It is crucial to recognize that the use of texting on phones and computers can lead to poor handwriting. Owing to the widespread use of technology, individuals frequently choose keyboards over pens when writing on paper. As a result, after a prolonged period of disuse, young individuals today exhibit poor handwriting, making their writing illegible and difficult for others to read and understand. Therefore, it is evident that young people today display inadequate handwriting skills because of their excessive reliance on technological devices.

Another factor contributing to the negative impact of electronic gadgets on young people’s writing and reading skills is the introduction of text-based abbreviated language into formal writing. As many young people today have better access to computers and mobile phones, cyber slang and colloquialisms have emerged and become increasingly popular among them. For instance, when it comes to handwriting assignments from schools, many students often include misspellings in their formal writings. Consequently, teachers and older individuals may struggle to read those texts produced by the young.

In conclusion, despite the benefits of using computers or mobile phones for communication, this still leads to a decline in the reading and writing skills of young people. Hence, it is true that young individuals should not overutilize these digital devices.