Some scientist believed that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some scientist believed that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences.
Discuss both views and give your opinion

Opinions are divided ragarding to the propects of future technology. While some people regard the suporierity of computers over human capacility as a opportunity, others are more concern about the disadvantages this might bring about. From my point of view, these notions are justified as the digital development has ups and downs for human beings.
On the one hand, there are two advantages that devices might provide given human’s limited ability. First, advanced technology can handle dangerous, life-threatening jobs on behalf of human. Indeed, human beings are restricted a lot in terms of physical strength, and easily vulnerble to harmful components; scentists can develop smart technology to undertake jobs like space or volcanic exploration, and deep-sea journeys, for example. Second, people can save their time by letting advance tenologyies take over repeated work which requires accurancy. To illustrate, athrithms, a time-consuming process involving in repeated meansures have been successfully tackled by artificial intelligence (AI).
On the other hands, on no account should the downsides of advanced computers be overlooked. Given the fact that technology might surpass human beings in terms of efficency, there is a strong likelihood that it can margnalize people in workforce. This have been a reality in many workplaces, like many places have replaced waitors and receptionists with robots. Moreover, bad people might use this smart technology to make scams on the underinformed individuals. This has been again also a reality in many parts of the world, and become a so-called billion-dollar industry worldwhile.

In conclusion, smart computers might benefit society to some extent, however, the disadvantages cannot be denied. Government and society should strike a balance to produce the most derirable outcomes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Opinions are divided ragarding to the propects of future technology." -> "Opinions are divided regarding the prospects of future technology."
Explanation: Correcting "ragarding" to "regarding" and "propects" to "prospects" fixes grammatical errors and enhances the formal tone of the sentence.
"suporierity" -> "superiority"
Explanation: Correcting "suporierity" to "superiority" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the word is correctly used in the context.
"more concern about" -> "more concerned about"
Explanation: Changing "more concern about" to "more concerned about" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with the correct form of the verb "concerned."
"these notions are justified" -> "these views are justified"
Explanation: Replacing "notions" with "views" provides a more precise term that is commonly used in academic discourse to refer to opinions or beliefs.
"digital development has ups and downs for human beings" -> "digital development presents both advantages and disadvantages for human beings"
Explanation: Replacing "ups and downs" with "advantages and disadvantages" uses more formal and precise language, enhancing clarity and appropriateness for an academic context.
"devices might provide given human’s limited ability" -> "devices could offer given humans’ limited capabilities"
Explanation: Changing "might provide" to "could offer" and "human’s limited ability" to "humans’ limited capabilities" corrects grammatical errors and uses more precise vocabulary.
"restricted a lot" -> "significantly restricted"
Explanation: Replacing "restricted a lot" with "significantly restricted" uses more formal and precise language.
"easily vulnerble" -> "easily vulnerable"
Explanation: Correcting "vulnerble" to "vulnerable" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the word is correctly used in the context.
"scentists" -> "scientists"
Explanation: Correcting "scentists" to "scientists" fixes a spelling error.
"tenologyies" -> "technologies"
Explanation: Correcting "tenologyies" to "technologies" fixes a spelling error and corrects the plural form.
"athrithms" -> "algorithms"
Explanation: Replacing "athrithms" with "algorithms" corrects a spelling error and uses the correct term for the context.
"On the other hands" -> "On the other hand"
Explanation: Correcting "On the other hands" to "On the other hand" fixes a grammatical error.
"efficency" -> "efficiency"
Explanation: Correcting "efficency" to "efficiency" fixes a spelling error.
"margnalize" -> "marginalize"
Explanation: Correcting "margnalize" to "marginalize" fixes a spelling error.
"bad people" -> "malicious individuals"
Explanation: Replacing "bad people" with "malicious individuals" uses more precise and formal language.
"underinformed individuals" -> "unsophisticated individuals"
Explanation: Changing "underinformed" to "unsophisticated" provides a more precise and academically appropriate term.
"derirable outcomes" -> "desirable outcomes"
Explanation: Correcting "derirable" to "desirable" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the word is correctly used in the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the potential superiority of computers over humans and provides a personal opinion, which is a requirement of the prompt. The first paragraph introduces the topic and acknowledges differing perspectives. The second and third paragraphs present arguments for both sides. However, the exploration of the opposing view could be more balanced, as the advantages are discussed in more detail than the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that both views are given equal weight. For instance, when discussing the advantages of computers, consider elaborating on the potential benefits for society as a whole, while also providing more detailed examples of the negative consequences. This would create a more balanced discussion and ensure that all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion, stating that both views are justified. However, the position could be more explicitly stated throughout the body paragraphs. The phrase "these notions are justified" is somewhat vague and could be clearer in articulating the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, use more definitive language when expressing opinions. For example, instead of saying "these notions are justified," specify which view the writer supports more strongly and why. Additionally, reiterating the position in the topic sentences of each paragraph can help reinforce the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of advanced technology. However, some points lack sufficient development and support. For example, the mention of robots replacing workers is a significant claim that could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to illustrate the impact on employment.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, provide more detailed examples and evidence to support each point made. This could include specific instances of technology replacing jobs, or statistics on the efficiency of AI in various fields. Additionally, expanding on the implications of these points would enhance the depth of the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally remains focused on the topic, discussing both the positive and negative implications of computers surpassing human intelligence. However, there are moments where the language becomes convoluted or unclear, which can distract from the main argument. For instance, phrases like "the disadvantages cannot be denied" could be more precise in articulating the specific disadvantages being referred to.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to the main topic. Avoid overly complex language that may confuse the reader. Instead, aim for clarity and conciseness in expressing ideas. Additionally, using clear transitions between points can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, improvements in balance, clarity, and support for arguments would elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the discussion. The arguments for both sides are presented in separate paragraphs, which aids in understanding. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hands" is awkward and disrupts the flow, as it should simply be "On the other hand." Additionally, the connection between the examples and the main points could be more explicit, particularly in the second paragraph where the examples of technology replacing jobs could be more directly tied to the argument about marginalization.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are fluid and use appropriate linking phrases. For instance, consider using "Conversely" or "In contrast" instead of "On the other hands." Additionally, explicitly link examples to the main arguments by using phrases like "This illustrates that…" or "This supports the idea that…".
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, the internal structure of some paragraphs could be improved. For example, the first paragraph contains two main points but could benefit from clearer topic sentences that introduce each point. The second paragraph also lacks a clear topic sentence, making it less effective in guiding the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of that paragraph. This will help the reader understand the focus of each section immediately. For example, in the first paragraph, a sentence like "One significant advantage of advanced technology is its ability to perform dangerous tasks" would provide clarity and direction.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "on the one hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as "On the other hands" and "this have been a reality." Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" to add information, and "However," "Nevertheless," or "Conversely" to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct usage of phrases to maintain grammatical accuracy, such as changing "this have been a reality" to "this has been a reality."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "superiority," "digital development," and "artificial intelligence" showing an attempt to engage with the topic. However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "advanced technology" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which detracts from the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "advanced technology," alternatives such as "cutting-edge technology," "innovative devices," or "sophisticated systems" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives and adverbs would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "ragarding to the propects" (regarding the prospects) and "the suporierity of computers over human capacility" (the superiority of computers over human capability). These errors can confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of the argument. The term "margnalize" is also used incorrectly; the correct form is "marginalize."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review vocabulary choices and ensure they convey the intended meaning. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary resources can help identify more appropriate terms. Furthermore, proofreading for common errors in word form and spelling will enhance clarity. For example, "concern" should be "concerned" to accurately reflect the context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ragarding," "suporierity," "capacility," "vulnerble," "athrithms," "efficency," "margnalize," and "derirable." These mistakes indicate a lack of attention to detail and can significantly impact the reader’s understanding and perception of the writer’s proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, utilize spell-check tools, and carefully proofread their work before submission. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial. Additionally, reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with a range of vocabulary, improvements in vocabulary variety, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps to organize the argument. However, many sentences are overly simplistic or contain errors that detract from their effectiveness. For example, the sentence "advanced technology can handle dangerous, life-threatening jobs on behalf of human" is straightforward but lacks complexity. Additionally, phrases like "given human’s limited ability" could be expanded into more complex structures to enhance the depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice combining shorter sentences into more complex ones. For instance, instead of saying, "human beings are restricted a lot in terms of physical strength," the writer could say, "Due to their limited physical strength, human beings often find themselves unable to perform tasks that require significant endurance or resilience." Incorporating a mix of sentence types, including relative clauses and conditional sentences, will also improve the overall range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "ragarding to the propects" should be "regarding the prospects," and "suporierity" is a misspelling of "superiority." Additionally, phrases like "advanced technology can handle dangerous, life-threatening jobs on behalf of human" should use "humans" instead of "human" for grammatical accuracy. The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences or fragments.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Practicing grammar exercises, especially those focused on common pitfalls in writing, can also be beneficial. Furthermore, the writer should pay attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in compound and complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "This have been a reality in many workplaces" should be corrected to "This has been a reality in many workplaces," and ensuring that all subjects and verbs agree in number will strengthen the overall grammatical accuracy.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and structure, addressing these areas of grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing and potentially improve the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions are divided regarding the prospects of future technology. While some people regard the superiority of computers over human capability as an opportunity, others are more concerned about the disadvantages this might bring about. From my point of view, these notions are justified as digital development presents both advantages and disadvantages for human beings.

On the one hand, there are two advantages that devices might provide given humans’ limited abilities. First, advanced technology can handle dangerous, life-threatening jobs on behalf of humans. Indeed, human beings are significantly restricted in terms of physical strength and are easily vulnerable to harmful components; scientists can develop smart technology to undertake jobs like space or volcanic exploration and deep-sea journeys, for example. Second, people can save their time by letting advanced technologies take over repetitive work that requires accuracy. To illustrate, algorithms, a time-consuming process involving repeated measures, have been successfully tackled by artificial intelligence (AI).

On the other hand, on no account should the downsides of advanced computers be overlooked. Given the fact that technology might surpass human beings in terms of efficiency, there is a strong likelihood that it can marginalize people in the workforce. This has been a reality in many workplaces, where many places have replaced waiters and receptionists with robots. Moreover, malicious individuals might use this smart technology to scam unsophisticated individuals. This has also been a reality in many parts of the world and has become a so-called billion-dollar industry worldwide.

In conclusion, smart computers might benefit society to some extent; however, the disadvantages cannot be denied. Governments and society should strike a balance to produce the most desirable outcomes.