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Some scientists should be allowed to send messages into space to communicate with other life forms while others believe this is too dangerous. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

Some scientists should be allowed to send messages into space to communicate with other life forms while others believe this is too dangerous. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

With the development of science today. Most people would always try to connect with extraterrestrial creatures by various methods. Some others think this would cause many dangers for our earth. The viewpoints will be discussed in this essay.
First of all, there are various sakes for sending quotes into the universe. Scientists always wondering whether humans are the only living creatures in space. Thus, if they receive signs from other life forms in outer space. Those questions will be answered. If the messages were sent as much as possible. This will increase the possibility of locating alien civilizations. Then laying a firm foundation for the next generations to develop interstellar communicate in case of receiving the signals back from other planets. Scientists easily deem their technology to be more advanced, which will stimulate humans to get exposed and learn from existing civilizations on these planets. It will boost our technological breakthroughs.
Besides the sakes, various challenges are waiting for us if finding out other life forms in exoplanets. If aliens have superior intelligence and state-of-the-art technology than humans. Without a doubt, they will see humans in the same way humans treat other low animals and scorn is inevitable. Simultaneously, the language and cultural barrier also create myriad misunderstandings. Over time, this leads to hostility to each other and a star war will break out for a short time. As a consequence, our civilization come to an end.
In conclusion. Although there are various justifications for the cons and pros. Scientists must continue searching for living creatures outside the earth as a part of innovative civilizations.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "With the development of science today." -> "With the current advancements in science."
    Explanation: Replacing "With the development of science today." with "With the current advancements in science." provides a more precise and formal expression of the ongoing progress in scientific knowledge.

  2. "Most people would always try to connect with extraterrestrial creatures by various methods." -> "Many individuals consistently seek communication with extraterrestrial beings through various methods."
    Explanation: The suggested change enhances formality by replacing "Most people would always try to connect" with "Many individuals consistently seek communication," and it adds specificity to the idea of connecting with extraterrestrial beings.

  3. "Some others think this would cause many dangers for our earth." -> "Others argue that this could pose numerous risks to our planet."
    Explanation: The revision replaces "Some others think" with "Others argue," creating a more formal tone, and it substitutes "cause many dangers" with "pose numerous risks" for a more precise expression.

  4. "First of all, there are various sakes for sending quotes into the universe." -> "Firstly, there are diverse reasons for transmitting messages into the universe."
    Explanation: The correction replaces "sakes" with "reasons" for accuracy, and it substitutes "sending quotes" with "transmitting messages" for a more formal and clear expression.

  5. "Scientists always wondering whether humans are the only living creatures in space." -> "Scientists constantly wonder whether humans are the sole living beings in space."
    Explanation: The change corrects the grammatical error by replacing "Scientists always wondering" with "Scientists constantly wonder," and it improves the formality by using "sole living beings" instead of "only living creatures."

  6. "If the messages were sent as much as possible." -> "If messages were sent extensively."
    Explanation: The revision simplifies the expression by replacing "If the messages were sent as much as possible." with "If messages were sent extensively," maintaining clarity and formality.

  7. "Then laying a firm foundation for the next generations to develop interstellar communicate in case of receiving the signals back from other planets." -> "Thus, establishing a solid groundwork for future generations to engage in interstellar communication, especially upon receiving signals from other planets."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance clarity and formality by replacing "Then laying a firm foundation" with "Thus, establishing a solid groundwork" and refining the phrase "develop interstellar communicate" to "engage in interstellar communication."

  8. "Simultaneously, the language and cultural barrier also create myriad misunderstandings." -> "Additionally, language and cultural barriers can lead to numerous misunderstandings."
    Explanation: The revision improves formality by replacing "Simultaneously" with "Additionally," and it enhances precision by removing redundancy in "myriad misunderstandings."

  9. "Over time, this leads to hostility to each other and a star war will break out for a short time." -> "Over time, this may foster hostility, leading to a brief interstellar conflict."
    Explanation: The correction refines the expression by replacing "this leads to hostility to each other" with "this may foster hostility" and substitutes "a star war will break out" with "a brief interstellar conflict" for clarity and formality.

  10. "In conclusion. Although there are various justifications for the cons and pros." -> "In conclusion, despite the various arguments for the pros and cons."
    Explanation: The revision removes the unnecessary period after "In conclusion" and restructures the phrase to "despite the various arguments for the pros and cons" for improved formality and clarity.

  11. "Scientists must continue searching for living creatures outside the earth as a part of innovative civilizations." -> "Scientists must persist in the search for extraterrestrial life as a component of advancing civilizations."
    Explanation: The suggested change maintains formality by replacing "living creatures outside the earth" with "extraterrestrial life" and refines the phrase to "as a component of advancing civilizations" for clarity and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay provides a response to both sides of the argument but lacks depth in exploring the potential dangers of sending messages into space. While it briefly mentions the possibility of hostility and a "star war," it doesn’t delve into the consequences and risks in a comprehensive manner. Relevant sections for improvement include expanding on the dangers and exploring potential ethical concerns.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should elaborate on the potential dangers and ethical considerations associated with sending messages to extraterrestrial life forms. Adding specific examples and scenarios would strengthen the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear stance on whether scientists should or should not send messages into space. While it mentions the benefits of communication with extraterrestrial life forms, it also highlights potential dangers without explicitly stating a preference. The stance needs to be clarified and maintained consistently throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. If the stance is neutral, it should be clearly communicated, but the essay should still maintain a consistent tone.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in extending and supporting them. For instance, it mentions the benefits of communication and the potential risks but lacks elaboration and specific examples. Supporting evidence and a more thorough exploration of ideas would strengthen the overall argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should provide specific examples, anecdotes, or evidence to support their points. Developing each idea with more detail and extending the analysis will contribute to a more convincing argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but could be more focused. The mention of potential "star wars" is a bit extreme and may divert attention from the main topic. The essay should maintain a more balanced and realistic discussion of the risks and benefits.
    • How to improve: To stay on topic more effectively, the writer should avoid extreme scenarios and focus on realistic and well-grounded concerns. This will contribute to a more coherent and focused essay that directly addresses the prompt.

In conclusion, while the essay touches on both sides of the argument, it can be significantly improved by providing a more comprehensive exploration of the potential dangers, clarifying and maintaining a clear position, supporting ideas with specific examples, and staying focused on the main topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization. It begins with an introduction that sets the context for the discussion, followed by clear paragraphs discussing the benefits and challenges of sending messages into space. However, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas within paragraphs. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits to challenges could be smoother for better coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider organizing paragraphs more cohesively. Clearly indicate shifts in focus, ensuring a smooth flow of ideas from one point to the next. For example, use transitional phrases to guide readers through the essay’s progression.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall coherence. However, the third paragraph appears overloaded with information, addressing both benefits and challenges without a clear transition. Breaking it into two paragraphs can improve clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and central idea. In the case of the third paragraph, consider dividing it into two separate paragraphs, one focusing on the benefits and the other on the challenges. This will create a more structured and reader-friendly essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "First of all" and "Besides." However, the use is limited, and a more diverse range of cohesive devices could be incorporated for smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, pronoun references could be clearer to enhance cohesion.
    • How to improve: Broaden the use of cohesive devices, including pronouns and transitional phrases, to strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs. For example, use pronouns more explicitly to refer back to previously mentioned ideas. Additionally, consider employing a wider variety of transitional words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence and flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied expressions, but some repetition is noticeable. For instance, the frequent use of the term "life forms" could be diversified to maintain reader engagement.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider employing synonyms and exploring different ways to express key concepts. For example, instead of consistently using "life forms," try alternatives like "extraterrestrial beings" or "alien entities" to add variety.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage. An example is the use of the term "sakes," which might be intended as "purposes" or "reasons." This imprecise choice may cause confusion for the reader.
    • How to improve: To ensure precision, carefully choose words that accurately convey your intended meaning. In this case, using "purposes" or "objectives" instead of "sakes" would improve clarity and precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay. However, there are some instances of errors, such as "quotes" instead of "signals" and "come" instead of "comes." These errors, though infrequent, impact the overall impression of language proficiency.
    • How to improve: Proofread the essay thoroughly to catch and correct spelling errors. Additionally, consider using writing tools with spell-check features to enhance accuracy. Building a habit of reviewing written work for spelling will contribute to improved precision.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in vocabulary usage, there is room for improvement in terms of diversity and precision. Attention to detail in word choice and thorough proofreading for spelling accuracy will contribute to an enhanced lexical resource, thereby potentially raising the overall band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use different sentence forms, the variety is limited. The majority of sentences are simple and lack complexity. For instance, there is a tendency to start sentences with the same structure, such as "If aliens have superior intelligence…," "Simultaneously, the language and cultural barrier…," which diminishes the overall structural diversity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, incorporate more complex sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. Introduce varied sentence beginnings, and experiment with different types of clauses (relative, conditional, etc.). This will add sophistication to the essay and showcase a greater command of the English language.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays noticeable grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For example, in the opening sentence, "With the development of science today" lacks clarity and coherence. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as "The viewpoints will be discussed in this essay," where a plural subject ("viewpoints") is followed by a singular verb ("will be discussed"). Punctuation, including commas and periods, is inconsistently applied.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining basic grammatical skills, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement. Use commas and other punctuation marks more consistently to aid readability. In the instance of the opening sentence, consider revising for clarity, such as "Given the advancements in science today." Proofread carefully to catch and rectify errors before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammatical structures, there is room for improvement in both sentence variety and accuracy. Strengthening these aspects will contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the current advancements in science, many individuals consistently seek communication with extraterrestrial beings through various methods. Others argue that this could pose numerous risks to our planet. The viewpoints on this matter will be discussed in this essay.

Firstly, there are diverse reasons for transmitting messages into the universe. Scientists constantly wonder whether humans are the sole living beings in space. If messages were sent extensively, it could establish a solid groundwork for future generations to engage in interstellar communication, especially upon receiving signals from other planets. This exploration is crucial in advancing civilizations.

Additionally, language and cultural barriers can lead to numerous misunderstandings. Over time, this may foster hostility, leading to a brief interstellar conflict. Despite these potential challenges, scientists must persist in the search for extraterrestrial life as a component of advancing civilizations.

In conclusion, despite the various arguments for the pros and cons, scientists must continue searching for living creatures outside the earth as a part of innovative civilizations. This ongoing pursuit not only satisfies human curiosity but also holds the potential to contribute significantly to the progress of our civilization.

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