Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered
on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In this modernized era, there are some universities taking advantage of digital gadgets to operate their educational program instead of conventional methods in order to create a flexible schedule for almost students. While there are several benefits about this tendency, I would argue that direct lessons might give students more deeply understanding after learning.
On the one hand, online classes can offer more options about private timeline being suitable with students of all ages. For instance, this sort of education will make a chance for adults wanting to renew their occupation which demands a differently professional qualification compared to their current career. It means that despite of a full day job, people can certainly follow on their desirable learning without any worry about the time. Plus, studying through the screen allows students to attend in their class anywhere that just need a wireless connection and an innovative device such as smart phone or tablet. This means that it is not a serious problem if the weather is inconvenient or hectic congestions are occurring to make pupils be late at campus.
On the other hand, I believe that students will get a better school performance if they have more opportunities to directly interact with their classmates and their instructors. For example, the more questions students raise explained by their professor, the more unique knowledge they deeply put in their memory after that it helps pupils broaden their horizon and do better at school’s exams. Moreover, commuting to collage is also a good way to extend the social relationships that can support for the future professional of students. It can say that pupils make friends at school resemble to cooperate with their potential partner in the future.
In conclusion, learning online is an ideal and convenient approach to knowledge for people to a certain extent. I would argue that it is more advantageous for students to include in face to face class at their realistic university so as to undergo their own memorable experiences.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"modernized era" -> "contemporary era"
Explanation: "Modernized era" sounds informal and lacks precision. "Contemporary era" is a more formal and appropriate term for the current period.
"digital gadgets" -> "technological tools"
Explanation: "Digital gadgets" is colloquial; "technological tools" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"conventional methods" -> "traditional methods"
Explanation: "Conventional methods" is somewhat vague; "traditional methods" is a clearer and more formal term in this context.
"almost students" -> "nearly all students"
Explanation: "Almost students" is grammatically incorrect. "Nearly all students" is a more appropriate and formal phrase.
"I would argue that" -> "It could be argued that"
Explanation: "I would argue that" is overly personal and informal for academic writing. "It could be argued that" maintains neutrality and formality.
"private timeline being suitable with" -> "flexible schedules catering to"
Explanation: "Private timeline being suitable with" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Flexible schedules catering to" is a more precise and formal expression.
"this sort of education" -> "such educational approaches"
Explanation: "This sort of education" is too casual. "Such educational approaches" is a more formal and suitable phrase.
"a differently professional qualification" -> "a different professional qualification"
Explanation: "Differently professional qualification" is grammatically incorrect. "A different professional qualification" is the correct form.
"desirable learning" -> "desired learning"
Explanation: "Desirable learning" could imply subjective preferences. "Desired learning" is a more neutral and appropriate term.
"serious problem" -> "significant issue"
Explanation: "Serious problem" is somewhat vague. "Significant issue" is a clearer and more formal alternative.
"hectic congestions" -> "heavy traffic congestion"
Explanation: "Hectic congestions" is awkward and imprecise. "Heavy traffic congestion" is a clearer and more formal term.
"get a better school performance" -> "achieve better academic performance"
Explanation: "Get a better school performance" is informal. "Achieve better academic performance" is a more formal and precise phrase.
"explained by their professor" -> "explained by their professors"
Explanation: "Explained by their professor" lacks plural agreement. "Explained by their professors" is the correct form.
"unique knowledge they deeply put in their memory" -> "unique knowledge they retain"
Explanation: "Deeply put in their memory" is awkward. "Retain" is a more concise and appropriate term.
"school’s exams" -> "school examinations"
Explanation: "School’s exams" lacks clarity. "School examinations" is a more formal and precise term.
"commuting to collage" -> "travelling to college"
Explanation: "Commuting to collage" contains a spelling error and "collage" is incorrect; "travelling to college" is the correct form.
"social relationships" -> "social connections"
Explanation: "Social relationships" is slightly informal. "Social connections" is a more formal and suitable term.
"pupils make friends at school resemble to cooperate" -> "students establish friendships at school that resemble future collaborations"
Explanation: "Pupils make friends at school resemble to cooperate" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Students establish friendships at school that resemble future collaborations" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"ideal and convenient approach to knowledge" -> "ideal and convenient means of acquiring knowledge"
Explanation: "Approach to knowledge" is somewhat vague. "Means of acquiring knowledge" is a clearer and more formal term.
"to a certain extent" -> "to some extent"
Explanation: "To a certain extent" is slightly informal. "To some extent" is a more formal and suitable phrase.
"face to face class" -> "face-to-face classes"
Explanation: "Face to face class" lacks hyphens and should be pluralized. "Face-to-face classes" is the correct form.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits of online classes and also presenting reasons why direct lessons might be preferable.
- The essay acknowledges the advantages of online classes, such as flexibility in scheduling and accessibility for adult learners.
- It also recognizes the benefits of face-to-face interaction in traditional classes, including deeper understanding through direct interaction with classmates and instructors.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, it could strengthen its analysis by providing more specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint. Additionally, a clearer structure that explicitly addresses each aspect of the question would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that face-to-face classes are more beneficial for students’ overall learning experience.
- The introduction states the writer’s opinion ("I would argue that direct lessons might give students more deeply understanding").
- Throughout the essay, the writer consistently emphasizes the importance of direct interaction in traditional classrooms for better academic performance and social development.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could explicitly state their stance in the conclusion, reiterating the preference for face-to-face classes and summarizing the reasons supporting this viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and develops ideas, providing examples and explanations to support each argument.
- Examples such as adults renewing their occupation and the convenience of studying anywhere with an internet connection enhance the discussion of the benefits of online classes.
- Similarly, the essay elaborates on the advantages of face-to-face interaction, citing the importance of direct communication for better understanding and social networking.
- How to improve: While the essay offers relevant examples, providing more specific details or statistics could further strengthen the argumentation and make the points more persuasive. Additionally, deeper analysis of the implications of each point would enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the merits and drawbacks of online classes compared to traditional face-to-face instruction.
- The writer explores various aspects of the topic, including scheduling flexibility, academic performance, and social interaction.
- However, there are minor deviations in sentence structure and cohesion that slightly detract from the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central argument and transitions smoothly between ideas. Using topic sentences and clear transitions can help guide the reader through the essay more effectively.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, reinforcing the clarity of the position, and maintaining coherence throughout the response. Strengthening these aspects would enhance the overall effectiveness and persuasiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It follows a traditional structure with an introduction, body paragraphs presenting both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which aids in clarity. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother, particularly in transitions between paragraphs. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of online classes to the drawbacks could be more seamless.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are clear and cohesive. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through the progression of ideas. Additionally, consider restructuring sentences or paragraphs to create a more seamless flow of information.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, facilitating readability and coherence. However, there are areas where paragraphing could be improved for better clarity and emphasis. For instance, the paragraph discussing the drawbacks of online classes could be further developed and expanded into multiple paragraphs to provide more depth and analysis.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones to provide more focused discussion on specific points. This allows for clearer presentation of ideas and enhances the overall structure of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited use of cohesive devices. While some transition words and phrases are employed (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "Moreover," "In conclusion"), their usage is somewhat repetitive, and there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices. This affects the overall coherence of the essay and may lead to a sense of monotony.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to create more varied and sophisticated transitions between ideas. Incorporate a diverse array of conjunctions, adverbs, and transitional phrases to enhance coherence and maintain the reader’s engagement. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they effectively connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with varied but sometimes imprecise word choices. For instance, phrases like "modernized era," "digital gadgets," and "conventional methods" show attempts at varied vocabulary, but they lack precision and may not be the most suitable choices in academic writing. Additionally, there is repetition of phrases such as "direct lessons" and "desirable learning," which could be diversified to enhance lexical resource.
- How to improve: To improve lexical resource, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary with more precision. Instead of generic terms like "modernized era," opt for more specific terms like "contemporary society" or "digital age." Additionally, consider synonyms or more specific terms to avoid repetition, enhancing the richness of expression without sacrificing clarity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage. For instance, phrases like "digital gadgets" and "innovative device" could be replaced with more precise terms like "technological tools" or "sophisticated devices." Additionally, the use of "renew their occupation" might be unclear; a more precise term like "transition to a new career path" would improve clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should aim for more specific and accurate terms. Instead of general terms like "digital gadgets," use more precise language such as "technological devices" or "electronic tools." Moreover, ensure that each word chosen accurately conveys the intended meaning, avoiding ambiguous or vague language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout, with only a few minor errors, such as "collage" instead of "college." Overall, spelling accuracy is satisfactory and does not significantly detract from comprehension.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue practicing proofreading techniques, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools, to catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and reviewing spelling rules can help minimize mistakes in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is some variation in sentence length and structure, such as the use of complex sentences to present arguments and examples. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further to enhance clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and parallel structures. Varying the length and complexity of sentences can enhance the flow of ideas and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a fairly accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes throughout the essay. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("…there are some universities taking advantage…") and punctuation errors (missing commas, such as after introductory phrases). Additionally, there are inconsistencies in capitalization ("collage" instead of "college").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully review subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Pay close attention to punctuation rules, including the use of commas, periods, and capitalization. Proofreading the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct any errors before submission. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or instructors can provide valuable insights for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this contemporary era, some universities are leveraging digital technology to conduct their educational programs rather than relying solely on traditional methods. This shift aims to provide a flexible schedule for a wide range of students. While there are evident advantages to this approach, I believe that direct classroom instruction fosters a deeper understanding among students.

On one hand, online courses offer greater flexibility in scheduling, catering to individuals of all ages. For instance, adults seeking to upgrade their skills for a different professional field can conveniently pursue their desired learning without the constraints of a full-time job. Additionally, studying via digital platforms enables students to participate in classes from anywhere with just an internet connection and a smart device, such as a smartphone or tablet. This flexibility eliminates concerns about adverse weather conditions or traffic congestion that may hinder students from reaching campus on time.

On the other hand, I contend that students benefit significantly from direct interaction with classmates and instructors. Active engagement in the classroom, including asking questions and receiving immediate explanations from professors, enhances students’ comprehension and retention of knowledge. Furthermore, the physical attendance at a university campus fosters social connections, which are invaluable for students’ personal and professional development. Building relationships with peers lays the foundation for future collaborations and networking opportunities.

In conclusion, while online learning offers convenience and accessibility to a certain extent, I maintain that the in-person classroom experience is essential for students to fully immerse themselves in their education. Face-to-face interactions provide memorable experiences and opportunities for holistic growth that cannot be replicated in virtual settings. Therefore, I advocate for a balanced approach that integrates both online and traditional classroom instruction to optimize students’ learning outcomes.