Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case?What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person.
Why do you think this is the case?What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

In recent decades, there have been a growing trend for young generations who tend to communicate with each other through technology devices for various purposes. This essay will prove this by looking at the reason and the solution for this tedency.
To begin with, one of the most reasons is the use of social networking sites, such as Zalo, Facebook and Messenger, has gained in popularity because it doesn’t take you much money to pay for their service and you can download it easily to your phone or your computer. Therefore, Internet users can make many relationships there and suffer every message quickly. Besides, some people believe that phone conversations are more practical than in-person meetings. For example, you just need to sit on your sofa to interact with your friends whenever you want despite going to the cafe shop and talking with them. So many contend it is not necessary to go for a far distance and waste their fuel fee or expenses coffee.
Addicting phones and the internet is at the forefront of public awareness. If youth spend most of their time online and don’t meet each other in real life, they will addicted to phones and won’t have communication skills. So, the measures for this problem are extremely important. First of all, the companies offering online messaging and calling should first set a time limit on calls so adolescents must meet directly to reduce interruption annoying them. Secondly, every youngster needs to have an awareness of changing their habit of using mobile phones. Rather than communicating with our relationships online, we should have conversations in person in order to express our true feeling and get on well with each other.
In conclusion, although communicating online brings many benefits, we should know how to balance our time between talking face-to-face and exchanging on the internet.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"young generations" -> "younger generations"
Explanation: "Younger generations" is a more precise and formal term that is commonly used in academic writing to refer to people of a younger age group.
"who tend to communicate" -> "who increasingly communicate"
Explanation: "Increasingly communicate" is more specific and formal, indicating a growing trend, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"technology devices" -> "technological devices"
Explanation: "Technological devices" is the correct term, as "technology" is an adjective modifying "devices" in this context.
"tedency" -> "tendency"
Explanation: "Tendency" is the correct spelling of the word, which refers to a natural inclination or predisposition.
"one of the most reasons" -> "one of the primary reasons"
Explanation: "Primary" is more precise and formal than "most," which can be vague and subjective.
"doesn’t take you much money to pay for their service" -> "does not require significant financial investment"
Explanation: "Does not require significant financial investment" is more formal and precise, avoiding the contraction and colloquial tone of "doesn’t."
"you can download it easily to your phone or your computer" -> "it can be easily downloaded onto mobile devices or computers"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the subject and object of the action, making the sentence more formal and clear.
"make many relationships there and suffer every message quickly" -> "establish numerous relationships and respond to messages rapidly"
Explanation: "Establish numerous relationships" and "respond to messages rapidly" are more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear original phrasing.
"phone conversations are more practical" -> "phone conversations are more convenient"
Explanation: "Convenient" is a more precise term in this context, indicating ease of use and practicality.
"it is not necessary to go for a far distance" -> "it is unnecessary to travel long distances"
Explanation: "Travel long distances" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of going far.
"waste their fuel fee or expenses coffee" -> "incur fuel costs or coffee expenses"
Explanation: "Incur fuel costs or coffee expenses" is more formal and avoids the awkward and incorrect "fuel fee."
"Addicting phones and the internet" -> "The addiction to phones and the internet"
Explanation: "The addiction to" is grammatically correct and more formal, clarifying the subject of the addiction.
"won’t have communication skills" -> "may lack communication skills"
Explanation: "May lack" is a more tentative and academically appropriate way to express potential outcomes, avoiding the absolute "won’t."
"the measures for this problem are extremely important" -> "measures addressing this issue are crucial"
Explanation: "Measures addressing this issue are crucial" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the significance of the actions.
"set a time limit on calls" -> "establish time limits for calls"
Explanation: "Establish time limits for calls" is more formal and precise, suitable for an academic context.
"must meet directly to reduce interruption annoying them" -> "must meet directly to minimize disruptions"
Explanation: "Minimize disruptions" is a more formal and precise term than "reduce interruption annoying them," which is overly casual and vague.
"changing their habit of using mobile phones" -> "modifying their mobile phone usage habits"
Explanation: "Modifying their mobile phone usage habits" is more formal and specific, improving the academic tone.
"express our true feeling" -> "express our true feelings"
Explanation: "Feelings" is the correct plural form when referring to emotions in general, aligning with formal English usage.
"get on well with each other" -> "maintain good relationships with each other"
Explanation: "Maintain good relationships with each other" is more formal and specific, avoiding the colloquial "get on well."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons why teenagers prefer online socializing and suggesting measures to encourage in-person interactions. The reasons provided, such as the convenience of social networking sites and the practicality of phone conversations, are relevant. However, the explanation of these reasons lacks depth and could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument. The suggested measures, like setting time limits on calls and raising awareness about phone usage, are appropriate but could be elaborated further to provide a more comprehensive response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each reason and solution. Incorporating specific statistics or studies that support the claims about online communication’s popularity would make the argument more compelling. Additionally, discussing potential barriers to in-person meetings could provide a more nuanced understanding of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that online communication is prevalent among teenagers and that it has both benefits and drawbacks. However, the transition between discussing the reasons for online socializing and the measures to encourage in-person meetings could be smoother. The phrase "this essay will prove this by looking at the reason and the solution for this tendency" is somewhat vague and could be more assertive in stating the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph ties back to this central argument. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the essay and reinforce the main argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but not always extended or supported effectively. For instance, the discussion about the convenience of online communication is relevant, but it lacks depth. The mention of "addicting phones and the internet" introduces a significant concern but is not fully explored. The solutions provided are practical but could use further explanation on how they could be implemented and their potential effectiveness.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. For instance, when discussing the impact of online communication on social skills, the writer could include examples of how in-person interactions foster better communication skills. Additionally, discussing the feasibility of the proposed measures and their potential impact would provide a stronger support for the ideas presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for online socializing and the measures to encourage in-person interactions. However, there are moments where the writing becomes slightly convoluted, such as the phrase "suffer every message quickly," which may confuse readers and detracts from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all sentences directly relate to the main argument. Simplifying language and avoiding ambiguous phrases will help keep the essay clear and on topic. Additionally, a more structured approach to presenting ideas, such as using clear transitions between points, would enhance coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer transitions, and more robust support for its claims. By addressing these areas, the writer can improve their Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the intention to discuss reasons and solutions. The body paragraphs follow a logical progression, addressing the reasons for teenagers’ preference for online communication before discussing potential solutions. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing social networking sites to the practicality of phone conversations lacks a clear linking sentence that would help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph or section. For example, after discussing social networking, a sentence like "In addition to the convenience of social media, many young people find phone conversations more appealing than face-to-face interactions" would create a clearer connection between the ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the prompt: the reasons for online socializing and the measures to encourage in-person interactions. However, the first body paragraph could be split into two to better delineate the reasons related to social media and the practicality of phone conversations. This would allow for a more focused discussion in each paragraph.
- How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones, each focusing on a single idea. This will not only improve readability but also allow for more detailed exploration of each point. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the impact of social media, while another could discuss the practicality of phone conversations.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "besides," "first of all," and "in conclusion." These devices help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some sentences feel abrupt or disconnected. For example, the phrase "Addicting phones and the internet is at the forefront of public awareness" could benefit from a smoother introduction to the idea of addiction.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "besides," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "moreover," or "in addition." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain the flow of ideas. For example, rephrasing the transition to the discussion on addiction could be improved by saying, "Another significant concern is the addiction to phones and the internet, which has become increasingly recognized in society."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, achieving a Band Score of 7. By focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially achieving a higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common phrases, such as "social networking sites" and "communication skills." However, there are instances where vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive or simplistic, such as the repeated use of "communicate" and "meet." Additionally, phrases like "growing trend" and "extremely important" could be enhanced with more varied synonyms to enrich the text.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "communicate," alternatives such as "interact," "connect," or "engage" could be used. Furthermore, exploring more sophisticated expressions for common ideas, such as using "digital platforms" instead of "technology devices," would elevate the essay’s lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay conveys the main ideas, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "suffer every message quickly" is unclear and likely intended to express "receive messages quickly." Additionally, "the use of social networking sites" could be more accurately framed as "the popularity of social networking sites." The term "addicting phones" is also awkward; "addiction to phones" would be more precise.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. Reviewing phrases for accuracy and ensuring they convey the intended meaning is essential. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises could help the writer find more suitable terms that fit the context better.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "tedency" (should be "tendency"), "Addicting" (should be "Addiction"), and "expenses coffee" (should be "expense of coffee"). These mistakes detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help solidify correct spelling in future writing tasks. Regular practice with writing prompts and feedback can also contribute to improved spelling skills over time.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By actively working on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("This essay will prove this by looking at the reason and the solution for this tendency.") and compound sentences ("Therefore, Internet users can make many relationships there and suffer every message quickly."). However, the range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For instance, phrases like "the use of social networking sites… has gained in popularity" could be rephrased to enhance complexity. Additionally, the essay relies heavily on basic sentence forms, which affects the overall fluency and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, including relative clauses and conditional sentences. For example, instead of saying, "you can download it easily to your phone or your computer," the writer could say, "which can be easily downloaded to both phones and computers." Practicing the use of varied sentence beginnings and integrating more advanced grammatical structures will enhance the essay’s overall quality.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "there have been a growing trend" should be "there has been a growing trend," as "trend" is singular. Additionally, phrases like "the most reasons" should be corrected to "one of the main reasons." Punctuation errors are also present, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion. For example, "Addicting phones and the internet is at the forefront of public awareness" could benefit from a clearer structure and punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors, such as ensuring commas are used to separate clauses properly, will enhance clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly raise the band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, there has been a growing trend among younger generations who tend to communicate with each other through technological devices for various purposes. This essay will discuss the reasons for this tendency and suggest solutions to encourage more in-person interactions.

To begin with, one of the primary reasons is that the use of social networking sites, such as Zalo, Facebook, and Messenger, has gained popularity because it does not require significant financial investment for their services, and they can be easily downloaded onto mobile devices or computers. Therefore, Internet users can establish numerous relationships and respond to messages rapidly. Besides, some people believe that phone conversations are more convenient than in-person meetings. For example, you just need to sit on your sofa to interact with your friends whenever you want, instead of going to a café and talking with them. Many contend it is unnecessary to travel long distances and incur fuel costs or coffee expenses.

The addiction to phones and the internet is at the forefront of public awareness. If youth spend most of their time online and do not meet each other in real life, they may lack communication skills. Therefore, measures addressing this issue are crucial. First of all, companies offering online messaging and calling should set time limits for calls so that adolescents must meet directly to minimize disruptions. Secondly, every youngster needs to be aware of modifying their mobile phone usage habits. Rather than communicating with our relationships online, we should have conversations in person in order to express our true feelings and maintain good relationships with each other.

In conclusion, although communicating online brings many benefits, we should know how to balance our time between talking face-to-face and exchanging messages on the internet.