• Task 1: The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
• Task 1: The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts illustrate the time students of five distinct universities allocate daily for pursuing education.
Overall, the most noticeable feature in these diagrams is that there is no significant differentiation in the number of hours spent on studying on weekdays among the universities. In contrast, students in universities D and E are likely to invest less time on educational activities than the remaining ones.
In terms of weekdays, students in university C study hardest, with 10.6 hours, which ranks first in the first bar chart. The figure is followed by those for universities B and C, allocating 10.1 hours and 10 hours for academic pursuit. Meanwhile, it is obvious that students from both universities A and D are the least favored learners who engage in daily study, with 9.8 and 9.6 hours, respectively.
On the other hand, the second diagram witnesses a converse trend in the time allocation for studying activities at weekend. Specifically, despite less enthusiastic about learning on weekdays, school A’s students intend to work harder, dedicating 9 hours at weekends in comparison with the four others. However, the tendency of learning on days off gradually declines in that of the rest education institutions. In more details, 8.6 and 7.8 are the numbers of hours that students in universities B and C get involved in study. Moreover, those of schools D, E prioritize academic achievements the least.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"invest less time on educational activities" -> "allocate less time to educational pursuits"
Explanation: "Invest" typically refers to dedicating resources like money or time with the expectation of future benefit. In this context, "allocate" is more appropriate as it specifically refers to distributing time for a particular purpose, enhancing precision in describing students’ time management. -
"school A’s students intend to work harder" -> "students at university A exhibit a greater commitment to studying"
Explanation: "Intend to work harder" implies a conscious decision to increase effort, which may not be accurately represented here. "Exhibit a greater commitment to studying" provides a more neutral and precise description of students’ behavior. -
"get involved in study" -> "engage in academic pursuits"
Explanation: "Get involved in study" is a colloquial expression that lacks specificity. "Engage in academic pursuits" is a more formal and precise phrase that accurately captures the students’ involvement in educational activities. -
"prioritize academic achievements the least" -> "place the lowest priority on academic endeavors"
Explanation: "Prioritize the least" is a double-negative construction that can be confusing. "Place the lowest priority on academic endeavors" conveys the same meaning more clearly and directly.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. It provides a clear overview of the main trends in the data, highlighting the differences in study hours between universities and weekdays versus weekends.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could extend the presentation of key features by providing more specific details or data points from the charts. Additionally, ensuring accuracy and precision in the descriptions would strengthen the response.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of information, with a coherent progression throughout. The introduction effectively sets the stage by summarizing the main features of the charts. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, such as weekdays and weekends, and presents comparisons between the universities. Additionally, cohesive devices like transition words and phrases (‘Overall’, ‘In contrast’, ‘On the other hand’) help maintain coherence and cohesion. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph dedicated to a distinct point.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider ensuring a smoother flow between sentences within paragraphs. While the essay effectively transitions between overall trends and specific data points, strengthening the connections between sentences can enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices can help refine the essay’s cohesion even more. Overall, maintaining consistency in the use of cohesive devices and refining sentence-level transitions can elevate the essay to a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, with some flexibility and precision. It effectively uses vocabulary related to education and time allocation, such as "pursuing education," "academic pursuit," "educational activities," "dedicating," and "academic achievements." Additionally, the essay incorporates less common lexical items like "distinct," "tendency," and "prioritize academic achievements," showcasing some awareness of style and collocation. While there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "favorable learners" instead of "favored learners," these do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, pay closer attention to word choice and collocation to ensure accuracy. Additionally, strive to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including more sophisticated and uncommon lexical items, to enhance the overall richness and sophistication of language use.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy overall. There is evidence of complex structures, such as varied sentence lengths and the use of subordinate clauses. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to clear communication of ideas. However, there are a few minor errors and instances of awkward phrasing that slightly affect the fluency of the essay.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence structure. Additionally, aim for more precise word choices and smoother transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Finally, proofreading for minor errors will help elevate the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided bar charts delineate the daily study hours of students across five distinct universities.
Overall, it is evident that there is a general consistency in the number of hours dedicated to studying on weekdays across the universities, with no substantial deviation. However, universities D and E stand out for their comparatively lower study hours.
On weekdays, university C emerges as the frontrunner, with students dedicating 10.6 hours to academic pursuits, followed closely by universities B and C, with 10.1 and 10 hours respectively. Conversely, universities A and D exhibit lower study hours, with 9.8 and 9.6 hours respectively.
Weekend study patterns reveal a reversal of this trend. Despite lower weekday study hours, students from university A allocate the most time to studying on weekends, with 9 hours. However, this enthusiasm wanes across the other universities, with students from universities B and C dedicating 8.6 and 7.8 hours respectively. Universities D and E prioritize academic endeavors the least on weekends.
In summary, while weekdays witness uniformity in study hours across the universities, weekend study hours demonstrate varying degrees of commitment among the institutions, with university A exhibiting the highest dedication.
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