Task 2 : In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Task 2 : In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.

Is this a positive or negative development?

The practice of making it illegal for companies to reject job applicants based on age is a positive development for several reasons. Such legislation promotes fairness, inclusivity, and diversity in the workforce, while also recognizing the value and potential of individuals across different age groups.

First and foremost, age discrimination in hiring practices is unfair and can limit opportunities for both older and younger candidates. By prohibiting age-based rejection, companies are compelled to focus on qualifications, skills, and experience rather than factors that may not be relevant to job performance. This creates a more meritocratic system where candidates are evaluated based on their true potential to contribute to the organization, regardless of their age.

Secondly, this approach helps to promote diversity in the workplace, which has been shown to improve creativity, innovation, and problem-solving. A workforce that includes individuals from different age groups can bring a broader range of perspectives and experiences, leading to more well-rounded decision-making. Younger employees may bring fresh ideas and new approaches, while older employees may offer valuable experience, wisdom, and institutional knowledge.

In addition, making age-based rejection illegal encourages greater economic participation among older individuals. As populations in many countries are aging, it is important to ensure that older workers are not excluded from the job market based on stereotypes or assumptions about their abilities. Many older individuals are capable of continuing to work productively and make significant contributions, and this policy allows them to do so. This is particularly important as people live longer and healthier lives, often wishing or needing to remain in the workforce longer.

However, there are potential challenges as well. For example, companies may face difficulties in balancing their workforce if they are required to accommodate the needs of workers from vastly different age groups. Older employees may have different physical or technical limitations compared to younger workers, and managing these differences may require additional resources. Yet, these challenges can be addressed through appropriate training and workplace accommodations, which can be seen as an investment in a more inclusive and dynamic workforce.

In conclusion, the decision to make it illegal for companies to reject job applicants based on age is a positive development. It helps to ensure that all individuals, regardless of their age, have an equal opportunity to be considered for jobs based on their merits. This not only promotes fairness but also enhances diversity and inclusivity in the workplace, ultimately benefiting both employees and employers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"making it illegal" -> "prohibiting"
Explanation: "Prohibiting" is a more formal and precise term that directly conveys the legal aspect of the action, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"positive development" -> "advantageous development"
Explanation: "Advantageous" specifically highlights the beneficial aspects of the change, which is more precise and formal than "positive," which can be vague and less specific in an academic context.
"promotes fairness, inclusivity, and diversity" -> "enhances fairness, inclusivity, and diversity"
Explanation: "Enhances" suggests a more active and direct improvement, which is more suitable for an academic discussion about policy effects.
"compelled to focus" -> "required to focus"
Explanation: "Required" is a more formal and direct term than "compelled," which can imply coercion, aligning better with the legal and regulatory context.
"meritocratic system" -> "merit-based system"
Explanation: "Merit-based" is a more commonly used and accepted term in academic and formal contexts, whereas "meritocratic" can be less familiar and slightly awkward.
"helps to promote" -> "contributes to promoting"
Explanation: "Contributes to promoting" is a more formal and precise way to express the ongoing and cumulative effect of the policy.
"has been shown to" -> "has been demonstrated to"
Explanation: "Has been demonstrated to" is a more formal expression, suitable for academic writing, which emphasizes the scientific basis of the statement.
"includes individuals from different age groups" -> "comprises individuals from diverse age groups"
Explanation: "Comprises" is a more formal synonym for "includes," and "diverse" is a more precise term than "different" in this context, emphasizing the variety of characteristics.
"making age-based rejection illegal" -> "prohibiting age-based discrimination"
Explanation: "Prohibiting age-based discrimination" is a more specific and legally precise term, aligning better with formal and legal language.
"encourages greater economic participation" -> "fosters increased economic participation"
Explanation: "Fosters" is a more formal and academic term than "encourages," and "increased" is more specific than "greater," providing a clearer measure of the impact.
"difficulties in balancing" -> "challenges in balancing"
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more formal and academic term than "difficulties," which can sound too colloquial for an academic essay.
"older employees may have different physical or technical limitations" -> "older employees may possess distinct physical or technical limitations"
Explanation: "Possess" is a more formal and precise verb than "have" in this context, emphasizing the inherent characteristics of the employees.
"managing these differences may require additional resources" -> "addressing these differences may necessitate additional resources"
Explanation: "Necessitate" is a more formal and precise term than "require," and "addressing" is a more specific verb than "managing," which is broader and less formal.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating that making it illegal for companies to reject job applicants based on age is a positive development. It explores various dimensions of this issue, including fairness, diversity, and economic participation, which are all relevant to the question. Each point is supported with logical reasoning and examples, such as the benefits of a diverse workforce and the importance of evaluating candidates based on merit rather than age.
- How to improve: While the essay comprehensively covers the positive aspects, it briefly mentions potential challenges. To enhance the response, the writer could expand on these challenges, perhaps discussing specific examples or counterarguments more thoroughly. This would provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the complexities of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, asserting that the legislation is beneficial. The writer articulates this stance from the introduction to the conclusion, reinforcing it with supporting arguments. For instance, the discussion on fairness and the value of diverse perspectives underscores the positive impact of the legislation.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could include transitional phrases that explicitly connect the arguments back to the main thesis. This would help guide the reader through the essay and reinforce the central argument at each stage.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, such as the meritocratic system and the benefits of diversity. Each point is extended with explanations and examples, such as the mention of older employees contributing valuable experience. The use of logical reasoning enhances the persuasiveness of the arguments.
- How to improve: To improve further, the writer could incorporate more specific examples or statistics to substantiate claims. For instance, referencing studies that demonstrate the positive impact of age diversity on workplace performance could add depth and credibility to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the implications of making age-based rejection illegal. There are no significant deviations from the main argument, and each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis.
- How to improve: While the essay is well-focused, the writer could enhance coherence by summarizing key points at the end of each paragraph. This would reinforce the relevance of each argument to the central question and ensure that the reader remains engaged with the topic.

In summary, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS Task 2. To achieve an even higher level of sophistication, the writer could consider expanding on counterarguments, incorporating specific examples, and enhancing transitions and summaries within the text.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph builds upon the previous one, starting with a strong thesis statement that outlines the positive aspects of making age discrimination illegal. The first body paragraph effectively addresses the unfairness of age discrimination, followed by a discussion on diversity and its benefits, and concluding with the economic participation of older individuals. This structure allows the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the beginning of the second paragraph, a phrase like "Building on this point, it is also crucial to consider…" could help to create a smoother transition from one idea to the next.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while each body paragraph addresses a distinct point, and the conclusion summarizes the main arguments succinctly. The paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph contains a balance of evidence and explanation could strengthen the argument further. For example, the paragraph discussing diversity could benefit from a specific example or statistic that illustrates how diverse teams lead to better outcomes, thereby reinforcing the point made.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "secondly," and "in addition," which help to guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, phrases like "however" introduce contrasting ideas effectively, indicating a nuanced understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied transitions that signal relationships between ideas. For instance, using phrases such as "on the other hand," "furthermore," or "consequently" can add depth to the connections between points. Additionally, employing synonyms or paraphrasing can avoid repetition and enhance the essay’s overall cohesion.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can elevate its coherence and cohesion even further, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "fairness," "inclusivity," "diversity," "meritocratic," and "economic participation." These words are appropriate for the context and showcase an understanding of the topic. The use of phrases like "broader range of perspectives" and "institutional knowledge" further illustrates the writer’s ability to articulate complex ideas clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms or expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "age discrimination," alternatives like "age bias" or "age-related prejudice" could be introduced. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to the economic impact of age diversity could elevate the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used is largely precise and relevant to the topic. Terms like "meritocratic system" and "workplace accommodations" are well-chosen and accurately convey the intended meaning. However, phrases such as "physical or technical limitations" could be seen as slightly vague, as they do not specify what limitations might be encountered.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to clarify vague terms. For example, instead of "technical limitations," specifying what these might entail (e.g., "adaptability to new technologies") would enhance clarity. Additionally, ensuring that all terms used are contextually appropriate will further strengthen the essay’s argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words are spelled correctly throughout, which contributes positively to the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should maintain this standard by proofreading for any potential typographical errors in future essays. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using vocabulary flashcards or spelling apps, can help reinforce this skill and ensure continued accuracy in writing.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "By prohibiting age-based rejection, companies are compelled to focus on qualifications, skills, and experience rather than factors that may not be relevant to job performance" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures like "if they are required to accommodate the needs of workers from vastly different age groups" adds depth to the argument. However, while the range is impressive, there are instances of simpler sentence structures that could be elevated to more complex forms for greater sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider integrating more compound-complex sentences that combine multiple clauses. For example, instead of using a simple sentence like "This creates a more meritocratic system," you could expand it to "This not only creates a more meritocratic system but also encourages a culture of continuous learning and adaptation among employees." This approach will add complexity and demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with very few errors present. For example, the use of commas in lists and before conjunctions is generally correct, as seen in "creativity, innovation, and problem-solving." However, there are minor issues with punctuation that could be addressed, such as the absence of a comma before "which" in "which can be seen as an investment in a more inclusive and dynamic workforce," where a non-restrictive clause is present.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is essential to review the rules regarding non-restrictive clauses and the use of commas. Practicing with exercises focused on complex sentences and their punctuation can help solidify understanding. Additionally, proofreading for common errors, such as misplaced commas or conjunctions, can further enhance the overall accuracy of the writing.

Overall, while the essay is strong in both grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will elevate the writing to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

First and foremost, age discrimination in hiring practices is unjust and can limit opportunities for both older and younger candidates. By prohibiting age-based rejection, companies are required to focus on qualifications, skills, and experience rather than factors that may not be relevant to job performance. This creates a more merit-based system where candidates are evaluated based on their true potential to contribute to the organization, regardless of their age.

Secondly, this approach contributes to promoting diversity in the workplace, which has been demonstrated to enhance creativity, innovation, and problem-solving. A workforce that comprises individuals from diverse age groups can bring a broader range of perspectives and experiences, leading to more well-rounded decision-making. Younger employees may introduce fresh ideas and new approaches, while older employees may offer valuable experience, wisdom, and institutional knowledge.

In addition, making age-based rejection illegal fosters increased economic participation among older individuals. As populations in many countries are aging, it is important to ensure that older workers are not excluded from the job market based on stereotypes or assumptions about their abilities. Many older individuals are capable of continuing to work productively and making significant contributions, and this policy allows them to do so. This is particularly important as people live longer and healthier lives, often wishing or needing to remain in the workforce longer.

However, there are potential challenges as well. For example, companies may face difficulties in balancing their workforce if they are required to accommodate the needs of workers from vastly different age groups. Older employees may possess distinct physical or technical limitations compared to younger workers, and addressing these differences may necessitate additional resources. Yet, these challenges can be managed through appropriate training and workplace accommodations, which can be viewed as an investment in a more inclusive and dynamic workforce.

In conclusion, the decision to make it illegal for companies to reject job applicants based on age is a positive development. It helps to ensure that all individuals, regardless of their age, have an equal opportunity to be considered for jobs based on their merits. This not only enhances fairness but also fosters inclusivity and diversity in the workplace, ultimately benefiting both employees and employers.