Task 2 : Some people say that when deciding taxes how be spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the contemporary world, tax revenues contribute a crucial part to the government's budget. While it is thought that taxes' allocation should be the foremost priority for healthcare, other people argue that governments should spend money on other social services. This essay will delve into both points of view before highlighting the author's perspective.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why healthcare should be one of the top priorities. With the massive emergence of new diseases recently, it is hard to provide medicines or treatments immediately due to the overpopulation and lack of hospital locations. Take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example. Without the government’s funding and systematic taxes, producing and distributing vaccines to the residents would have been a huge burden for healthcare organizations. Additionally, the expenditure on healthcare taxes also greatly enhances better living conditions for residents, such as the elderly, who have free check-ups monthly and modern medical facilities to cope with the risks of diseases. Once public health is improved, it will result in better outcomes, including societal stability.
However, the governments should consider the tax revenues for other factors like the environment and education instead of concentrating only on healthcare. Firstly, environmental issues directly affect public health, so by investing in sectors like preventing water and air contamination, renewable energy, and so on, healthier welfare can be maintained. Moreover, if the government allocates the educational system reasonably to building schools, or enhancing teaching skills, it will promote the development and innovation of a country. Thereby, this will not only improve the health of the community but also reduce the rate of negative problems happening in today's life.
To sum up, it is undeniable that tax allocation for healthcare is essential for people’s health needs, but authorities also evaluate other aspects to ensure society can develop effectively and sustainably. This is why I wish the government would balance spending taxes between healthcare and other sides nowadays.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"While it is thought that" -> "While some argue that"
Explanation: "While it is thought that" is somewhat vague and lacks specificity. "While some argue that" introduces a clearer indication of differing viewpoints, aligning better with academic discourse.
"other people argue" -> "others argue"
Explanation: "Other people argue" is redundant. "Others argue" is more concise and maintains formality.
"delve into" -> "examine"
Explanation: "Delve into" is slightly informal. "Examine" is a more formal and precise term in academic writing.
"foremost priority" -> "primary concern"
Explanation: "Foremost priority" is redundant as "priority" implies something of utmost importance. "Primary concern" is a more concise and formal alternative.
"With the massive emergence of new diseases recently" -> "Given the recent surge in emerging diseases"
Explanation: "With the massive emergence of new diseases recently" is somewhat colloquial. "Given the recent surge in emerging diseases" maintains formality while being more precise.
"it is hard to provide medicines or treatments immediately" -> "immediate access to medicines or treatments is challenging"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality while maintaining the original meaning.
"due to the overpopulation and lack of hospital locations" -> "attributable to overpopulation and insufficient hospital infrastructure"
Explanation: Enhancing clarity and formality by using more precise language.
"Take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example" -> "Consider the COVID-19 pandemic"
Explanation: "Take…as an example" is slightly informal. "Consider" is a more formal and appropriate transition.
"funding and systematic taxes" -> "funding from systematic taxation"
Explanation: Clarifying the relationship between funding and taxation for improved precision.
"it will result in better outcomes, including societal stability" -> "leading to improved outcomes, such as enhanced societal stability"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and formality, while maintaining coherence.
"However, the governments should consider" -> "However, governments should consider"
Explanation: Removing the article "the" before "governments" for smoother flow and to avoid unnecessary repetition.
"tax revenues for other factors like the environment and education" -> "tax revenues on other areas such as environmental conservation and education"
Explanation: Enhancing clarity and formality by specifying the areas where tax revenues could be allocated.
"sectors like preventing water and air contamination" -> "sectors such as water and air quality management"
Explanation: Revising for clarity and precision, avoiding the colloquial use of "preventing."
"enhancing teaching skills" -> "improving teaching proficiency"
Explanation: Using a more precise term to describe the improvement of teaching abilities.
"reduce the rate of negative problems happening in today’s life" -> "mitigate contemporary challenges"
Explanation: Employing a more formal and concise phrase to describe addressing current societal issues.
"To sum up," -> "In conclusion,"
Explanation: "In conclusion," is a more formal and traditional way to signal the end of an essay in academic writing.
"it is undeniable that" -> "it is indisputable that"
Explanation: Introducing a stronger assertion with "indisputable" adds emphasis and formality.
"This is why I wish" -> "Thus, it is desirable"
Explanation: Strengthening the expression and maintaining formality in the author’s perspective.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses both viewpoints on how government tax allocations should be prioritized—whether towards healthcare or other social services like education and environmental protection. The author also provides their own perspective in the conclusion, stating a preference for balanced tax spending. However, the depth and detail in addressing each view are somewhat limited, and the conclusion could better integrate the discussion points from the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to the question, the writer should deepen the analysis of each viewpoint with more specific examples and clearer connections to societal impacts. The conclusion should reflect a synthesis of the discussed points, reinforcing the author’s stance with a stronger justification based on the arguments presented.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the introduction and conclusion, indicating that the author believes in balanced tax spending. However, this position could be more consistently articulated throughout the essay, especially within the body paragraphs. While discussing the importance of healthcare and other priorities, the writer’s personal stance tends to be overshadowed by the general discussion.
- How to improve: The author could improve by reinforcing their stance throughout the essay. This can be achieved by frequently linking back the discussion to their viewpoint on balanced spending, perhaps by using transitional phrases that reflect their opinion, or by critiqually analyzing each argument from the perspective of their own position on balanced allocation.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does a reasonable job of presenting and supporting ideas with examples such as the COVID-19 pandemic for healthcare and the necessity for investments in education and environmental protection. However, the extension of these ideas is somewhat limited. The connections between the supporting examples and the broader implications for tax allocation are not fully elaborated, leaving some arguments feeling superficial.
- How to improve: To strengthen this aspect, the author should further elaborate on how the examples directly impact government policy on tax allocation. Adding more data, expert opinions, or historical precedents could enrich the discussion. Each point could be more effectively extended by explaining how it relates to broader economic or social outcomes.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic of government tax allocation and its priorities. There are no significant deviations from the topic. However, some parts of the discussion could be more directly tied to the implications of tax spending decisions, rather than broadly discussing the benefits of healthcare and education.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should make more explicit connections between the discussion points and the central topic of tax allocation. Each argument should be clearly framed within the context of how tax decisions are made and their direct consequences on societal priorities and needs.

Overall, the essay achieves a band score of 6 by meeting the basic requirements of the task, presenting a clear if somewhat inconsistently articulated position, and providing examples to support its points. However, there is room for deeper analysis, more thorough extension of ideas, and stronger integration of the author’s viewpoint throughout the essay to potentially achieve a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It starts with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and the author’s opinion, followed by two body paragraphs that each discuss one perspective. The use of transition phrases like "on the one hand" and "however" helps signal shifts between ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the logical flow within paragraphs, particularly in providing smoother transitions between sentences to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence introducing the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Use transition words and phrases not only between paragraphs but also within paragraphs to create smoother connections between ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure the content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more detailed examples and analysis to support the arguments.
- How to improve: Consider expanding on the ideas presented in each paragraph by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains coherence by focusing on one central idea and avoiding tangential topics.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences. For example, phrases like "on the one hand" and "to sum up" help signal shifts between different arguments and the conclusion. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used, which can affect the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure that they effectively link ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary throughout, incorporating various terms related to taxation, healthcare, societal issues, and government responsibilities. For instance, phrases such as "tax revenues contribute a crucial part to the government’s budget," "expenditure on healthcare taxes," and "tax allocation" showcase a sophisticated vocabulary related to the essay topic. Additionally, the essay employs diverse vocabulary to articulate arguments effectively, as seen in the phrases "massive emergence," "concentrating only on healthcare," and "evaluating other aspects."
- How to improve: While the essay displays an impressive lexical range, there’s room for enhancement by integrating more specialized terminology or nuanced vocabulary specific to healthcare policy, taxation principles, or societal development. For instance, instead of repeatedly using the term "tax allocation," consider incorporating synonyms such as "fiscal distribution" or "budgetary allocation" to add depth to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay utilizes vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. Specific terms such as "COVID-19 pandemic," "environmental issues," and "educational system" are used accurately to articulate key points. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "massive emergence of new diseases" could be refined to specify particular diseases or global health challenges, providing a clearer context for the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider using more specific vocabulary tailored to the context of each argument. Instead of general terms like "new diseases," identify and articulate particular health concerns or epidemics to strengthen the argument’s credibility and relevance. Additionally, aim to avoid vague or overly broad terms that may obscure the intended message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally high level of spelling accuracy, with few notable errors detracting from overall readability. Common words are spelled correctly, and there are no significant instances of misspellings that impede comprehension. However, it’s essential to note minor spelling errors such as "how be spent" (should be "to be spent") and "better living conditions for residents, such as the elderly, who have free check-ups monthly" (should be "monthly check-ups").
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy further, consider employing proofreading techniques such as spell-checking software or manual review to identify and correct minor errors. Additionally, paying close attention to grammar and syntax during the revision process can help mitigate spelling inconsistencies and improve overall writing mechanics.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, ranging from simple to complex. For instance, it effectively employs compound sentences ("While it is thought that taxes’ allocation should be the foremost priority for healthcare, other people argue that governments should spend money on other social services"), complex sentences ("With the massive emergence of new diseases recently, it is hard to provide medicines or treatments immediately due to the overpopulation and lack of hospital locations"), and compound-complex sentences ("Moreover, if the government allocates the educational system reasonably to building schools, or enhancing teaching skills, it will promote the development and innovation of a country").
- How to improve: To further enhance the diversity and sophistication of sentence structures, consider integrating more rhetorical devices such as parallelism, inversion, or appositive phrases. Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and lengths can add further depth and engagement to the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy with few notable errors. However, there are minor instances of grammatical inconsistencies and punctuation errors. For example, in the sentence "Take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example," the use of "Take" could be revised to "Taking" for better grammatical cohesion. Additionally, there are instances where commas could be used more effectively to enhance clarity and readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct usage of articles. Furthermore, carefully review punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas, to ensure precise and coherent sentence structures. Regular practice with grammar exercises and thorough proofreading can significantly enhance grammatical proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and punctuation conventions, contributing to its cohesive and coherent presentation of ideas. By implementing the suggested improvements and continuing to refine grammatical skills through practice, the essay can further excel in clarity and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, tax revenues play a crucial role in government budgets. **While some argue that** prioritizing healthcare is essential, others contend that there are more pressing priorities for tax-payers’ money. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting the author’s opinion.

On one hand, there are compelling reasons why healthcare should be a top priority. The recent emergence of new diseases has made it challenging to provide immediate medical attention, given issues such as overpopulation and limited hospital resources. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, government funding facilitated the production and distribution of vaccines, relieving healthcare organizations of a significant burden. Moreover, investing in healthcare through taxes improves living conditions, providing free check-ups and modern medical facilities, particularly benefiting vulnerable groups like the elderly. Better public health leads to societal stability and improved overall well-being.

However, governments should also consider allocating tax revenues to other critical areas such as the environment and education. Environmental issues directly impact public health, so investing in initiatives to prevent water and air pollution and promote renewable energy can safeguard health. Additionally, directing funds towards education, including building schools and enhancing teaching quality, fosters national development and innovation. By doing so, governments not only improve community health but also address various societal challenges effectively.

In conclusion, while allocating taxes for healthcare is crucial, governments must assess other priorities to ensure holistic development and sustainability. Striking a balance between healthcare and other sectors is essential for the overall well-being and progress of society.

Task 2 : Some people say that when deciding taxes how be spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.