The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in Great Britain living alone by age and sex in 2004/2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in Great Britain living alone by age and sex in 2004/2005.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Data regarding the proportions of British people who lived on their own in the year 2004/05 is depicted in the graph, as categorized according to genders and ranges of age. Overall, more men than women aging from 16 to 64 lived individually. In contrast, as people in Great Britain reached their ages of 65 and above, the female gender accounted for a far larger majority in comparison with their male counterparts.

As for the age range of 25 to 44 years old, figure for British males stands at around 17%, while only under 10% of women were living alone during the period. For people with ages from 16 to 24 and from 45 to 64, the gaps between two genders are smaller. There were around 18% of men living on their own when they were 45 to 64 years old, whereas only 5% of them were 16 to 24. As regards females, about 16% lived alone at the age of 45 to 64, and only a tiny minority were people aging from 16 to 24.

Figures for females sorted by the age ranges of 65 to 74 and above 75 years old appear to double those of males. While 33% of females were living independently, the opposite gender only accounted for 18%, as for the range between 65 and 74 years old. For people older than 75, there were around 28% of males that lived alone, while the percentage of female reached the highest rate of around 58%.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "Data regarding the proportions of British people who lived on their own" -> "Data pertaining to the proportions of British individuals living independently"
   Explanation: "Data regarding the proportions" is slightly awkward and can be refined to "Data pertaining to" for clarity and conciseness. "People who lived on their own" can be replaced with "individuals living independently" for a more formal tone and precision.

2. "Overall, more men than women aging from 16 to 64 lived individually." -> "Overall, a greater number of men aged 16 to 64 lived independently than women."
   Explanation: "Aging" is more commonly used as a verb rather than a gerund in this context. "From" can be replaced with "aged" for smoother syntax. "Lived individually" can be replaced with "lived independently" for clarity.

3. "as people in Great Britain reached their ages of 65 and above" -> "as individuals in Great Britain reached the ages of 65 and above"
   Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" maintains consistency and formality. "Reached their ages of 65 and above" can be simplified to "reached the ages of 65 and above" for smoother phrasing.

4. "For people with ages from 16 to 24" -> "For individuals aged 16 to 24"
   Explanation: "People with ages from" can be replaced with "individuals aged" for conciseness and clarity.

5. "there were around 18% of men living on their own when they were 45 to 64 years old" -> "approximately 18% of men lived independently between the ages of 45 and 64"
   Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision. Replacing "living on their own" with "living independently" enhances formality.

6. "a tiny minority were people aging from 16 to 24" -> "a small minority were individuals aged 16 to 24"
   Explanation: "Tiny minority" can be replaced with "small minority" for a more precise description. "People aging from" can be replaced with "individuals aged" for consistency.

7. "Figures for females sorted by the age ranges of 65 to 74" -> "Statistics for females categorized by the age ranges of 65 to 74"
   Explanation: Replacing "figures" with "statistics" for variety and precision. "Sorted by" can be replaced with "categorized by" for clarity and formality.

8. "there were around 28% of males that lived alone" -> "approximately 28% of males lived independently"
   Explanation: Simplifying the sentence structure and replacing "lived alone" with "lived independently" for precision and formality.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the data presented in the bar chart, providing clear comparisons between genders and age groups. It covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main trends in the data.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend its analysis by providing more insights into the significance of the observed trends, such as potential reasons for the differences in living arrangements between genders and age groups. Additionally, ensuring that all data is accurately represented would strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on a specific age group and gender, allowing for easy comprehension of the data. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, aiding in the flow of the essay. The central topic of each paragraph is evident, as they discuss different age groups and genders as instructed by the prompt.
How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs by utilizing more cohesive devices such as transitional phrases. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures for added clarity and fluency.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay displays a sufficient range of vocabulary that accommodates some flexibility and precision, fitting well within the criteria for Band 7. The writer employs phrases like "depicted in the graph," "figure for British males stands at," and "a tiny minority," which indicate an awareness of style and collocation, showcasing the use of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrase construction such as "figure for British males stands at" which might have been more accurately expressed to enhance clarity. Additionally, the essay avoids significant spelling errors and manages word formation adequately, though the stylistic choices and the variability in expression are limited at times, preventing the essay from reaching a higher band score.

How to improve:
To progress towards a Band 8 or higher, the writer should work on enhancing the precision of vocabulary usage and ensuring that the selection of words conveys exact meanings without ambiguity. Increasing the range of vocabulary with more varied and nuanced terms, particularly in describing statistical data and making comparisons, would also be beneficial. Additionally, attention should be given to perfecting collocation and avoiding any inaccuracies in word choice to ensure that each lexical item fits naturally into its context. Practicing with a wider array of topics can help in building a more robust vocabulary that can be fluently and flexibly applied across different subjects and scenarios.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, utilizing a variety of complex structures effectively. There is a clear attempt to use a range of sentence forms, contributing to coherence and cohesion. Minor errors occur occasionally but do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve: To further enhance the score, ensure consistent accuracy in complex structures and aim for fewer minor errors. Review punctuation usage, particularly in complex sentences, to refine clarity. Consider varied sentence structures to add further depth to the analysis.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the distribution of individuals living alone in Great Britain during the 2004/2005 period, segmented by gender and age groups. Overall, a higher proportion of men across the age range of 16 to 64 resided independently, while the prevalence of solitary living among women increased notably beyond the age of 65.

In the demographic bracket of 25 to 44 years, approximately 17% of British men lived alone, contrasting with fewer than 10% of women in the same age cohort. Notably, the gap narrows for individuals aged 16 to 24 and 45 to 64, with around 18% of men living solo in the latter age range, while a mere 5% were in the former. Similarly, about 16% of women lived independently between the ages of 45 to 64, with a minimal representation in the 16 to 24 age group.

In the older age brackets, the disparity between genders becomes more pronounced. Notably, the percentage of women living alone doubles that of men in the 65 to 74 age range, with 33% and 18% respectively. Moreover, among those aged 75 and above, approximately 58% of women resided independently, contrasting with around 28% of men in the same age category.