The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that the younger generation holds the key to a country's future, and thus, governments should invest in them. However, I do not completely agree with this viewpoint. In my opinion, governments should allocate funds wisely, balancing investments between the younger and older age groups.

Young individuals are known for their quick adaptability and sensitivity to advanced technology. As technology continues to evolve, the youth, with their open-mindedness and eagerness to learn, can contribute significantly to the future workforce. To harness their potential, governments should establish funds for comprehensive curriculums that integrate technology and practical experience. This approach can empower young people to utilize automated sciences and generate innovative ideas, enhancing productivity in various industries.

On the other hand, the older workforce possesses a wealth of practical experience that can be optimized for increased productivity. By providing targeted high-tech training alongside their accumulated knowledge, governments can elevate the efficiency of the senior workforce. For example, incorporating tangible screens in classrooms can enhance the teaching methods of experienced linguistic teachers, fostering better student engagement and interaction. Moreover, such training initiatives bridge the generation gap, facilitating effective communication between senior employees and young newcomers. This collaboration promotes smooth coordination, ultimately contributing to the growth of businesses and the national economy.

In conclusion, both the younger and older segments of the population play crucial roles in the present and future. Therefore, it is imperative for governments to invest equitably in both age groups to ensure a balanced and sustainable development for the nation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"quick adaptability" -> "rapid adaptability"
Explanation: Replacing "quick" with "rapid" adds a more formal and precise tone, aligning with academic language standards.
"eagerness to learn" -> "enthusiasm for learning"
Explanation: Substituting "eagerness" with "enthusiasm" elevates the language by using a more sophisticated and formal term, enhancing the academic style.
"comprehensive curriculums" -> "comprehensive curricula"
Explanation: Changing "curriculums" to "curricula" reflects proper Latin pluralization, maintaining academic formality.
"automated sciences" -> "automation sciences"
Explanation: "Automation sciences" is a more precise term, aligning with formal language and conveying a specific focus on automated processes.
"wealth of practical experience" -> "abundance of practical experience"
Explanation: Replacing "wealth" with "abundance" enhances the formality of the expression without losing the intended meaning.
"elevate the efficiency" -> "enhance the efficiency"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal and precise term, contributing to the academic tone of the sentence.
"tangible screens" -> "interactive displays"
Explanation: Substituting "tangible screens" with "interactive displays" provides a more refined and technologically neutral term, suitable for academic discourse.
"linguistic teachers" -> "language instructors"
Explanation: Using "language instructors" instead of "linguistic teachers" maintains formality while encompassing a broader term for those teaching language-related subjects.
"fostering better student engagement and interaction" -> "cultivating improved student engagement and interaction"
Explanation: The replacement adds a touch of formality and specificity, aligning with academic language standards.
"national economy" -> "domestic economy"
Explanation: Substituting "national" with "domestic" maintains a formal tone and provides a more precise term for referring to the country’s economy.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "However, I do not completely agree with this viewpoint. In my opinion, governments should allocate funds wisely, balancing investments between the younger and older age groups."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly states the writer’s position; however, it lacks a preview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. To enhance the overall clarity and organization of your response, consider providing a brief roadmap of the arguments that will support your opinion. For instance, briefly outline the benefits of investing in the younger generation and the advantages of allocating funds to the older age group. This will help readers anticipate the structure of your essay.
- Improved example: "However, I do not completely agree with this viewpoint. In my opinion, governments should allocate funds wisely, balancing investments between the younger and older age groups. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the benefits of investing in the younger generation and the advantages of allocating funds to the older age group."
Quoted text: "By providing targeted high-tech training alongside their accumulated knowledge, governments can elevate the efficiency of the senior workforce."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is relevant, the explanation is somewhat vague. To improve, consider providing specific examples or details about the type of high-tech training that could be beneficial for the senior workforce. For instance, you could mention industry-specific technology or skills that older employees could acquire to enhance their efficiency.
- Improved example: "By providing targeted high-tech training, such as courses on the latest software used in their field, alongside their accumulated knowledge, governments can elevate the efficiency of the senior workforce."
Quoted text: "This collaboration promotes smooth coordination, ultimately contributing to the growth of businesses and the national economy."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The concluding statement is somewhat generic and could benefit from more specific details. Consider providing concrete examples or mechanisms through which the collaboration between the older and younger workforce directly contributes to business growth and the national economy. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
- Improved example: "This collaboration promotes smooth coordination, as experienced senior employees mentor younger newcomers, sharing industry insights and knowledge. This symbiotic relationship not only fosters a knowledge transfer but also enhances the overall efficiency of businesses, ultimately contributing to the growth of the national economy."

Overall, the essay presents a clear position and addresses the task but would benefit from a more detailed introduction and specific examples to support the arguments.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with logically organized information and ideas. It establishes a balanced view between investing in young people and the older workforce. The progression throughout the essay is evident, with cohesive devices effectively linking ideas. Each paragraph contains a central topic, contributing to coherence.

However, there are some instances of underuse of cohesive devices, impacting the seamless flow between sentences. While the essay maintains logical organization and progression, minor improvements in the use of cohesive devices could further enhance coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance the coherence and cohesion further, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the transition between sentences to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. This can be achieved by employing linking words or phrases more consistently to connect thoughts and arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision in expression. There is a variety of vocabulary used, reflecting an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. The essay employs less common lexical items with a degree of awareness of style and collocation, enhancing the overall quality of language use. While there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, they do not significantly detract from the clarity of the message. The vocabulary used demonstrates an understanding of the topic and conveys ideas effectively.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource further, consider incorporating more diverse and sophisticated vocabulary. Strive for a higher level of precision and accuracy in word choice and collocation. Proofread the essay to identify and rectify any minor errors or inconsistencies in vocabulary use. Additionally, expand on the use of idiomatic expressions and academic language where appropriate to further enrich the lexical variety.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures. There is a consistent use of a variety of complex sentence structures, contributing to a high level of grammatical range. The majority of sentences are error-free, and any errors that do occur are minor, not significantly affecting the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. The writer exhibits a strong grasp of grammar and punctuation, with occasional errors being more in the realm of slips rather than systematic issues.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a wider array of sentence structures, including more intricate and varied sentence types. Additionally, careful proofreading can help eliminate any residual minor errors, ensuring an even higher level of precision in language use. Overall, maintaining the current standard while diversifying sentence structures will contribute to a more nuanced and sophisticated expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is commonly believed that the younger generation plays a crucial role in shaping a country’s future, and as a result, it is argued that governments should invest in them. However, I do not entirely agree with this perspective. In my view, governments should allocate funds judiciously, striking a balance between investments in the younger and older age groups.

Young individuals are recognized for their quick adaptability and sensitivity to advanced technology. As technology continues to evolve, the youth, with their open-mindedness and eagerness to learn, can make significant contributions to the future workforce. To tap into their potential, governments should establish funds for comprehensive curriculums that integrate technology and practical experience. This approach can empower young people to use automated sciences and generate innovative ideas, thereby enhancing productivity across various industries.

In conclusion, both the younger and older segments of the population play crucial roles in the present and future. Therefore, it is imperative for governments to invest equitably in both age groups to ensure balanced and sustainable development for the nation.