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The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a contentious debate regarding whether governments offering free public transport system all the time is the best solution to relieve the problem of traffic congestion. This essay supports this view point due to the advantages in terms of environment and finance.

It is essential to acknowledge one of the main culprits leading to many environmental issues is traffic congestion. This is because of the chemical substances such as carbon dioxide in the emissions which exploits the ozone layer of the Earth. In this circumstance, providing free transit for all residents will remarkably reduce the demands for private vehicles, therefore contributing to improvements in minimizing air pollution as public transport modes can accommodate a large number of passengers.

From prior experience, this author opines that applying zero-fare public transport scheme is beneficial for citizens. Due to the fact that private vehicles might be unaffordable, especially for the working class or homeless people. Consequently, free public transport will be the optimum solution considering accessibility, increasing equality among citizens. Furthermore, this can also decrease wealth discrimination as they are using the same means of transportation.

To sum up, it has been demonstrated that providing free transport- system benefits the governments both environmentally and economically. Thus, we should consider utilizing this method.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "There is a contentious debate" -> "There exists a contentious debate"
    Explanation: Adding "exists" provides a more formal and precise expression, aligning better with academic style by emphasizing the objective nature of the debate.

  2. "offering free public transport system all the time" -> "providing a free public transportation system consistently"
    Explanation: "Providing a free public transportation system consistently" is more precise and formal, replacing the vague "all the time" with "consistently" which is more specific and academically appropriate.

  3. "This essay supports this view point" -> "This essay supports this viewpoint"
    Explanation: Removing the space between "view" and "point" corrects a typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text.

  4. "the advantages in terms of environment and finance" -> "the advantages in environmental and financial terms"
    Explanation: "In environmental and financial terms" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone by specifying the areas of advantage.

  5. "the main culprits leading to many environmental issues is" -> "a primary cause of many environmental issues is"
    Explanation: "A primary cause" is more precise and formal than "the main culprits," which is colloquial and imprecise.

  6. "chemical substances such as carbon dioxide in the emissions which exploits the ozone layer of the Earth" -> "chemical substances such as carbon dioxide emissions, which deplete the Earth’s ozone layer"
    Explanation: "Deplete" is more accurate and formal than "exploits," which is incorrect in this context. Also, rephrasing for clarity and precision.

  7. "providing free transit for all residents" -> "offering free public transportation to all residents"
    Explanation: "Offering free public transportation" is more specific and formal than "providing free transit," which is less commonly used in formal writing.

  8. "will remarkably reduce the demands for private vehicles" -> "will significantly reduce the demand for private vehicles"
    Explanation: "Significantly" is more appropriate than "remarkably" in academic writing, and "demand" should be singular to match the subject.

  9. "public transport modes can accommodate a large number of passengers" -> "public transportation modes can accommodate a large number of passengers"
    Explanation: "Transportation" is the correct term for the noun form of the verb "transport," enhancing the formal tone.

  10. "From prior experience, this author opines" -> "Based on previous experience, this author believes"
    Explanation: "Believes" is more straightforward and academically appropriate than "opines," which is less commonly used in formal writing.

  11. "applying zero-fare public transport scheme" -> "implementing a zero-fare public transportation system"
    Explanation: "Implementing a zero-fare public transportation system" is more formal and precise than "applying zero-fare public transport scheme."

  12. "private vehicles might be unaffordable" -> "private vehicles may be unaffordable"
    Explanation: "May" is more formal than "might" in academic writing, and "unaffordable" is the correct form.

  13. "free public transport will be the optimum solution" -> "free public transportation will be the optimal solution"
    Explanation: "Optimal" is the correct adjective form for "optimum," and "transportation" should be used instead of "transport" for consistency.

  14. "decrease wealth discrimination" -> "reduce economic inequality"
    Explanation: "Reduce economic inequality" is a more precise and formal way to describe the intended meaning of "decrease wealth discrimination."

  15. "free transport- system" -> "free transportation system"
    Explanation: "Transportation system" should be used consistently throughout the text for clarity and formality.

These changes enhance the essay’s formality, precision, and adherence to academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of providing free public transport as a solution to traffic congestion. However, it does not fully explore the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. The introduction mentions a "contentious debate," but the essay lacks a clear articulation of the author’s position, which should ideally be stated explicitly in the introduction and reinforced throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should clearly state their position in the introduction, indicating whether they fully agree, partially agree, or disagree with the statement. Additionally, the essay should include a discussion of alternative solutions to traffic congestion, which would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay supports the idea of free public transport, it lacks a consistent and clear position. Phrases like "this essay supports this view point" are vague and do not provide a definitive stance. The conclusion reiterates the benefits but does not clarify the extent of agreement with the proposed solution.
    • How to improve: The author should maintain a clear position by explicitly stating their level of agreement in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "I fully agree" or "I partially disagree" would help clarify the author’s stance. Additionally, the essay could benefit from transitional phrases that reinforce this position throughout the body paragraphs.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the environmental benefits of reduced private vehicle use and increased accessibility for lower-income individuals. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with specific examples or data. For instance, while the author mentions "chemical substances such as carbon dioxide," there is no elaboration on how free public transport would directly lead to a measurable reduction in emissions.
    • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the author should provide specific examples, statistics, or studies that support their claims. For instance, referencing a city that successfully implemented free public transport and saw a decrease in traffic congestion would strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on the implications of increased accessibility could provide a more robust discussion.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of free public transport. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the mention of "wealth discrimination" feels somewhat tangential and could be better integrated into the overall argument regarding traffic congestion.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of traffic congestion. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all arguments are relevant and contribute to the overall thesis. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements that stray from the topic will help maintain clarity and relevance.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the author should clearly articulate their position, develop and support their ideas with specific examples, and ensure that all content remains focused on the central question of traffic congestion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of providing free public transport as a solution to traffic congestion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs each focus on specific advantages, such as environmental benefits and financial accessibility. However, the transition between points could be smoother; for instance, the shift from environmental issues to financial implications feels somewhat abrupt. The conclusion summarizes the main points but could reinforce the argument more strongly by reiterating the connection between free public transport and traffic congestion.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing environmental benefits, a phrase like "In addition to environmental advantages, there are also significant financial implications" could help connect the two ideas more fluidly. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also aid in guiding the reader through the argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the second discusses environmental issues, and the third addresses financial accessibility. However, the paragraph on financial implications could benefit from further development, as it presents a strong point but lacks supporting details or examples to fully substantiate the claim.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the main idea. For instance, in the financial accessibility paragraph, consider providing specific examples or statistics about how free public transport has benefited other cities or countries. This would strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "due to the fact that," "consequently," and "to sum up." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall flow. For example, the phrase "this author opines" is somewhat formal and could be replaced with a more conversational transition.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "furthermore," "moreover," or "in addition" to introduce additional points, and "however" or "on the other hand" to present counterarguments or alternative views. Additionally, varying sentence structures can enhance cohesion; for example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this is because," consider rephrasing to maintain reader engagement.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "contentious debate," "culprits," and "zero-fare public transport scheme." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "free public transport" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "free public transport," alternatives like "complimentary transit services" or "no-cost transportation options" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs can enrich the essay’s vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "environmental issues" and "traffic congestion." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "exploits the ozone layer," which could be misleading. The term "exploit" typically has a negative connotation and may not accurately convey the intended meaning of "damaging" or "depleting."
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should choose words that accurately reflect their intended meaning. For example, replacing "exploits" with "damages" or "harms" would clarify the statement. Furthermore, ensuring that phrases are contextually appropriate will improve overall clarity.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. However, the phrase "free transport- system" contains an unnecessary hyphen and should be corrected to "free transport system."
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on punctuation and hyphenation rules. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch such errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with common spelling patterns and exceptions in English can further enhance spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as "This is because of the chemical substances such as carbon dioxide in the emissions which exploits the ozone layer of the Earth." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "providing free public transport" and "traffic congestion." The essay also employs some effective transitional phrases, such as "To sum up," which helps in organizing ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This essay supports," try beginning with phrases that emphasize the argument or introduce examples, such as "One significant advantage is…" or "Moreover, evidence suggests that…". This will create a more dynamic reading experience.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "offering free public transport system all the time" should be "offering a free public transport system at all times." Additionally, the use of "view point" should be corrected to "viewpoint." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "especially for the working class or homeless people" to separate the clauses more effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Reviewing common grammatical structures and practicing with exercises can help solidify understanding. For punctuation, consider revisiting the rules for comma usage, particularly in complex sentences, to ensure that clauses are clearly separated. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify areas where pauses are needed for clarity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

There exists a contentious debate regarding whether governments should implement a free public transportation system consistently, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, as the best solution to alleviate traffic congestion. This essay supports this viewpoint due to the advantages in environmental and financial terms.

It is essential to acknowledge that a primary cause of many environmental issues is traffic congestion. This is largely due to chemical substances such as carbon dioxide emissions, which deplete the Earth’s ozone layer. In this context, offering free public transportation to all residents will significantly reduce the demand for private vehicles, thereby contributing to improvements in minimizing air pollution, as public transportation modes can accommodate a large number of passengers.

Based on previous experience, this author believes that implementing a zero-fare public transportation system is beneficial for citizens. This is particularly important because private vehicles may be unaffordable, especially for the working class or homeless individuals. Consequently, free public transportation will be the optimal solution, enhancing accessibility and reducing economic inequality among citizens. Furthermore, this initiative can also decrease wealth discrimination, as all individuals will have access to the same means of transportation.

To sum up, it has been demonstrated that a free transportation system benefits governments both environmentally and economically. Thus, we should seriously consider utilizing this method.

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