The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates the proportion of how much money Americans earned and spent by seven age groups in 2017.

Overall, the amount of earned and spent money throughout the age groups showed a gradual increase and reached a peak at a certain point before falling. It is also clear that spending was lower than the actual earnings in most of the age groups.

The amount of money that those under 25 made and spent stood at around 30,000 dollars. This figure for the age groups of 34-44 and 45-54 almost tripled to around 80,000 dollars for income and nearly doubled to 60,000 dollars for expenditures. For the next age groups, 55-64 and 65-74, their earning and spending fell sharply from around 75,000 and 55,000 to 53,000 and 46,000, respectively.

The two middle age groups 35-44 and 45-54 had the highest figures for both categories while the youngest and oldest earned and spent the least at around 30,000 dollars in 2013. Furthermore, whereas the income was higher than expenditures among the age groups, the youngest spent more than their earnings, and while for the oldest age group spending was almost the same as income.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "amount of earned and spent money" -> "income and expenditures"
   Explanation: "Income" and "expenditures" are more precise and commonly used terms in discussions related to financial matters. Using "earned and spent money" is somewhat redundant and less formal.

2. "showed a gradual increase" -> "exhibited a gradual rise"
   Explanation: "Exhibited" adds a touch of formality and sophistication to the sentence, and "rise" is a more precise term than "increase" in this context.

3. "It is also clear that spending" -> "Moreover, expenditure"
   Explanation: "Moreover" transitions more smoothly into the following point, and "expenditure" is a more formal term than "spending" in this context.

4. "stood at around 30,000 dollars" -> "amounted to approximately 30,000 dollars"
   Explanation: "Amounted to" is a more precise and formal phrase than "stood at" when discussing figures or statistics.

5. "almost tripled" -> "nearly tripled"
   Explanation: "Nearly tripled" is a more accurate description when the increase is not precisely threefold.

6. "fell sharply from around 75,000 and 55,000 to 53,000 and 46,000" -> "declined sharply from approximately 75,000 and 55,000 to 53,000 and 46,000"
   Explanation: "Declined" is a more formal term than "fell" in this context, and using "approximately" adds clarity to the figures provided.

7. "had the highest figures" -> "recorded the highest figures"
   Explanation: "Recorded" is a more formal and precise term to indicate the highest values in this context.

8. "whereas the income was higher than expenditures among the age groups" -> "while incomes exceeded expenditures across the age groups"
   Explanation: Restructuring the sentence provides a clearer comparison and employs more formal language by using "incomes" instead of "income" and "expenditures" instead of "expenditures."

9. "youngest spent more than their earnings" -> "the youngest cohort exceeded their earnings in expenditures"
   Explanation: Using "cohort" adds precision and formality, and restructuring the sentence provides clarity and a more formal tone.

10. "for the oldest age group spending was almost the same as income" -> "expenditures nearly matched income for the oldest age group"
    Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for clarity and using "expenditures" instead of "spending" enhances formality and precision.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. It provides a clear overview of the main trends in income and spending by age groups in 2013. Key features such as the gradual increase in income and spending, peak points, and differences between age groups are adequately presented.
How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific details about the peak points and perhaps analyze any possible reasons for the fluctuations in income and spending among different age groups. Additionally, ensuring precise data representation without repetitions could improve clarity and conciseness.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. It effectively utilizes a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect sentences and ideas. The central topic of each paragraph is evident, aiding in coherence. Paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider varying sentence structures for more fluidity and clarity. Additionally, ensure consistent and appropriate use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Pay attention to referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and improve the overall flow of the essay. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is consistently logical and coherent.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay utilizes an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, covering terms such as "proportion," "gradual increase," "reached a peak," "sharp fall," and "categories." There’s an attempt to vary vocabulary by using phrases like "stood at around," "almost tripled," and "nearly doubled." However, there are some inaccuracies and lack of precision in word choice, such as "under 25" instead of "25 and under." Additionally, some expressions could be more sophisticated ("stood at around" could be replaced with "hovered around"). The essay also demonstrates an awareness of collocation by using phrases like "earning and spending" and "income and expenditures." However, there are minor errors in word choice and collocation that slightly affect clarity and precision.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, aim to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary throughout the essay. Avoid inaccuracies in word choice and strive for more sophisticated expressions where appropriate. Proofread carefully to ensure consistency and precision in language use. Additionally, pay attention to collocation to further improve fluency and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a variety of sentence structures such as simple sentences, compound sentences, and complex sentences. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, albeit they do not significantly hinder communication. The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the chart, highlighting trends in income and spending across different age groups. It provides clear comparisons where relevant, discussing both similarities and differences between age groups.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. Proofreading the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct these errors. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures and ensuring their accuracy can enhance the overall sophistication of the essay. Finally, maintaining consistency in academic tone and vocabulary usage will further elevate the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart delineates the income-to-spending ratio among different age brackets of Americans in 2013.

Broadly, a consistent ascending trend in both income and expenditure is discernible across the age groups, peaking at certain points before declining. Notably, expenditures generally lagged behind earnings across most age segments.

Individuals under 25 exhibited an approximate income and expenditure of $30,000. This amount nearly tripled for the age cohorts of 34-44 and 45-54, with earnings hovering around $80,000 and expenses nearing $60,000. Subsequently, for those aged 55-64 and 65-74, earnings and spending saw a marked decline from approximately $75,000 and $55,000 to $53,000 and $46,000, respectively.

The age brackets of 35-44 and 45-54 emerged with the highest financial figures, both in terms of income and expenditure, while the youngest and oldest age groups recorded the lowest, around $30,000 each. Moreover, despite income exceeding expenditure across most age brackets, individuals under 25 demonstrated higher spending than earnings, while the oldest age group maintained almost equilibrium between spending and income.