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The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts illustrate the studying time of pupils during weekdays and weekends among five different universities.
Overall, there is a similarity about the amount of studying time for all five universities on weekdays. However, many differences occur on the average hours of learning on the weekends, especially C, D and E universities.
Looking at weekdays period, it is clearly seen that students from C get a highest average studying time comparing to other schools. In contrast, D gives the lowest hours of learning for their students. There are not many differences between A, B and E since their leaners just participate for approximately from 9.8 to 10.1 hours on avarage.
Moving to the weekends timetable, universities A mostly maintain their period as the time reduction is only 0.8 hours, wheras other schools choose to give more break for their pupils. Studying time in D reduces from 9.6 to 5.6 hours and from 10 to 6.2 hours for E. B and C also have a slightly chance in their teaching plans.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "pupils" -> "students"
    Explanation: In academic contexts, "students" is the more commonly used and preferred term for individuals enrolled in educational institutions, whereas "pupils" is more commonly associated with younger students in primary or secondary education.

  2. "studying time" -> "study time"
    Explanation: "Study time" is a more natural and concise term in academic contexts, whereas "studying time" can sound awkward and less formal.

  3. "similarity" -> "similarities"
    Explanation: The plural form "similarities" is necessary when referring to multiple instances of similarity, which is more appropriate in this context.

  4. "many differences occur" -> "significant differences are observed"
    Explanation: "Significant differences are observed" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the nature and observation of the differences, which is more suitable for academic writing.

  5. "average hours of learning" -> "average study hours"
    Explanation: "Study hours" is a more specific and formal term commonly used in educational contexts to refer to the time spent on academic activities.

  6. "get a highest average studying time" -> "have the highest average study time"
    Explanation: "Have the highest average study time" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal structure, enhancing the academic tone.

  7. "leaners" -> "learners"
    Explanation: "Learners" is the correct term for individuals who are learning, whereas "leaners" is a misspelling and not a standard term.

  8. "on avarage" -> "on average"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "average," which is a standard term in academic writing.

  9. "wheras" -> "whereas"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "whereas," which is a common error in informal writing.

  10. "give more break" -> "provide more breaks"
    Explanation: "Provide more breaks" is grammatically correct and more formal, suitable for an academic context.

  11. "have a slightly chance in their teaching plans" -> "experience a slight change in their teaching plans"
    Explanation: "Experience a slight change" is grammatically correct and more precise, replacing the awkward and incorrect "have a slightly chance."

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the text, aligning it with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the data, but it does not fully address all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay also does not adequately cover all the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention that the average studying time for students at University C is the highest on both weekdays and weekends.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the data, including a clear statement of the main trends and differences. The essay could also be improved by highlighting all the key features/bullet points, such as the highest and lowest average studying times for each day of the week. The essay should also avoid using informal language, such as "pupils" and "learners." Instead, the essay should use more formal language, such as "students" and "universities."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare the study hours across different universities, the connections between ideas are not always clear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which detracts from the overall coherence of the text. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not effectively utilized, as the structure does not clearly separate different ideas or comparisons.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a central topic. Improving the use of cohesive devices by ensuring they accurately reflect the relationships between ideas will also help. Additionally, providing clearer comparisons and transitions between the weekdays and weekends study times would strengthen the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the charts, the vocabulary used is basic and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice (e.g., "gives the lowest hours of learning" instead of "has the lowest study hours") and spelling errors (e.g., "avarage" instead of "average," "wharas" instead of "whereas"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader and detract from the overall clarity of the message.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are precise and appropriate for the context. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct spelling errors and improve overall word formation will help in achieving better clarity and coherence. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and attempts some complex sentences; however, the accuracy of these structures is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as "get a highest average studying time comparing to other schools" (should be "the highest average studying time compared to other schools") and "whreas" (should be "whereas"). These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. The punctuation is also faulty in places, which further affects clarity.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the variety and accuracy of their sentence structures. This includes using more complex sentences correctly and ensuring that subject-verb agreement and comparative forms are used appropriately. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical and punctuation errors before submission would enhance clarity and coherence. Expanding vocabulary to express comparisons and contrasts more effectively would also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The charts illustrate the study time of students during weekdays and weekends at five different universities.

Overall, there is a similarity in the amount of study time across all five universities on weekdays. However, significant differences are evident in the average hours of study during the weekends, particularly among universities C, D, and E.

Looking at the weekdays, it is clear that students from university C have the highest average study time compared to the other institutions. In contrast, university D has the lowest study hours for its students. There are minimal differences between universities A, B, and E, as their learners engage in approximately 9.8 to 10.1 hours of study on average.

Moving to the weekend schedule, university A mostly maintains its study hours, with a reduction of only 0.8 hours. In contrast, the other universities provide more breaks for their students. Study time at university D decreases from 9.6 to 5.6 hours, while university E’s study hours drop from 10 to 6.2 hours. Universities B and C also experience slight changes in their study schedules.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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