The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart illustrates the information about the differences about the time of each leisure activities, in minutes per day of both genders in household in 2008 in the UK.
Overall, it seems that the most activity that dominated men’s time which is TV, radio, video as also repair, but others like women usually being busy with household jobs
On the side of leisure activities, usually, males tend to spend most of their time on entertainment on technical devices around more hours (137 minutes) more than women did the same thing but less more as 118, respectively. Sport exercises matched a roughly similar trend when always higher than women at the time around 15 to 11 minutes to be compared. But books is a noticeable exception when be higher around 19 minutes and 18 minutes but too trivial
In the field of households, the amount of time that women spend tend to surpass men, from 78 minutes was spent cooking and washing, to almost half of hour in clothing washing and ironing and also shopping also dominated more than 30 minutes, approximately. And to compared it to men, only repair is hard to deal with almost 20 minutes, but the figure of others it literally be smaller, from 25, 5, and 15 minutes was only spent in the whole period of it value.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the differences about the time of each leisure activities" -> "the differences in the time spent on each leisure activity"
Explanation: "the differences about the time of each leisure activities" is grammatically incorrect and vague. The corrected version clarifies the subject and uses a more formal structure suitable for academic writing.
"dominated men’s time which is TV, radio, video as also repair" -> "dominated men’s time, including TV, radio, and video, as well as repair"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and lacks proper punctuation. The revised version corrects these issues and clarifies the list of activities.
"others like women usually being busy with household jobs" -> "women, on the other hand, are typically occupied with household tasks"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks clarity. The suggested change uses more formal language and provides a clearer contrast between the activities of men and women.
"usually, males tend to spend most of their time on entertainment on technical devices around more hours" -> "typically, males spend a significant amount of time on entertainment using technical devices for around an hour"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly phrased and uses vague quantification. The revision provides a clearer and more precise description of the time spent.
"did the same thing but less more as 118" -> "spent less time doing the same, approximately 118 minutes"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The suggested change corrects the grammar and clarifies the comparison.
"Sport exercises matched a roughly similar trend" -> "Sport activities followed a similar trend"
Explanation: "Sport exercises" is incorrect as "exercises" typically refers to physical activities for health or fitness, not sports. "Sport activities" is the correct term for sports in general.
"But books is a noticeable exception when be higher around 19 minutes and 18 minutes but too trivial" -> "However, books is an exception, with times of 19 minutes and 18 minutes, which are relatively short"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and provides a clearer explanation of the exception.
"the amount of time that women spend tend to surpass men" -> "the time spent by women tends to exceed that of men"
Explanation: "the amount of time that women spend tend" is grammatically incorrect. The suggested correction corrects the verb agreement and clarifies the subject.
"to almost half of hour" -> "almost half an hour"
Explanation: "to almost half of hour" is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase is "almost half an hour," which is a common idiomatic expression.
"also shopping also dominated more than 30 minutes, approximately" -> "also, shopping dominated more than 30 minutes, approximately"
Explanation: The original phrase is redundant and awkwardly structured. The revision removes the redundancy and improves readability.
"And to compared it to men" -> "Compared to men"
Explanation: "And to compared it to men" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision simplifies and corrects the structure for clarity and formality.
"hard to deal with almost 20 minutes" -> "requiring almost 20 minutes"
Explanation: "hard to deal with" is informal and vague. "Requiring" is more precise and appropriate for an academic context, indicating the time needed for the activity.
"but the figure of others it literally be smaller" -> "but the time spent on other activities is significantly less"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammar, making it suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay presents some key features/bullet points, but it does not adequately cover them. There is a tendency to focus on details rather than providing a clear overview.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends and differences in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features/bullet points in a more concise and organized way. The essay should avoid focusing on irrelevant details. The essay should also be written in a more formal and academic tone.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates significant issues with coherence and cohesion, which align with Band 3 descriptors. There is little logical organization of ideas, with unclear progression throughout the essay. Sentences and ideas are disjointed and often confusing. Cohesive devices are extremely limited, and those used do not effectively indicate relationships between ideas. Paragraphing is inadequate and lacks logical structure, contributing further to the overall lack of coherence.

How to improve:

Logical Organization: Focus on organizing ideas in a clear and structured manner. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic and logical progression of ideas.
Cohesive Devices: Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns) appropriately to connect ideas and improve coherence.
Paragraph Structure: Ensure paragraphs are logically organized and contain a single main idea. This will improve clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

This feedback aims to help improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a very limited range of vocabulary with significant issues in lexical control. There are numerous errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the text, which severely affect clarity and coherence. Phrases like "dominated men’s time which is TV, radio, video as also repair" lack clarity and coherence due to incorrect word usage and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the use of incomplete and fragmented sentences further hinders comprehension.

How to improve:

Vocabulary Range: Expand vocabulary beyond basic phrases and attempt to use more varied expressions and synonyms.
Accuracy: Focus on accurate word choice, spelling, and word formation to enhance clarity and coherence.
Sentence Structure: Work on forming complete and grammatically correct sentences to improve overall readability and understanding.

This feedback should guide revisions towards achieving a higher band score by improving lexical resource usage in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to convey information about time spent on household and leisure activities by UK males and females in 2008. However, it is hindered by numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence in conveying clear comparisons between the genders.

How to improve:

Grammar and Sentence Structure: Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy. Ensure subjects and verbs agree, and use punctuation correctly to aid readability.
Clarity and Coherence: Clearly organize ideas into paragraphs and use linking words to connect sentences and ideas logically.
Vocabulary and Expression: Aim for more precise vocabulary and expressions to convey ideas accurately and effectively.

This score reflects the predominant issues with grammar and sentence structure that distort the meaning and make comprehension challenging.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar charts illustrate the time allocation, measured in minutes per day, for household and leisure activities among males and females in the UK in 2008.

Overall, the data reveals distinct differences in how men and women spend their daily routines. Men predominantly allocate significant time to leisure activities, particularly in TV, radio, and video entertainment, averaging 137 minutes per day, whereas women spend slightly less time on these activities, at 118 minutes. Sports activities also show a similar pattern, with men spending approximately 15 minutes daily compared to women’s 11 minutes. However, reading books stands out as an exception, where both genders dedicate considerable time, with men at 19 minutes and women at 18 minutes daily.

Turning to household responsibilities, women outpace men significantly in time spent. Cooking and washing activities occupy approximately 78 minutes daily for women, nearly half an hour is spent on clothing washing and ironing, and shopping consumes over 30 minutes. In contrast, men allocate roughly 20 minutes to repairs, while other household tasks like cleaning (25 minutes), childcare (5 minutes), and gardening (15 minutes) are considerably less.

In conclusion, the data highlights the divergence between genders in their daily activities in 2008, with men more focused on leisure pursuits and women predominantly engaged in household chores.