The charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university library to find out the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.
The charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university library to find out the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.
The bar charts delineate the information about two distinct groups of students at a university’s library.
Overall, it is evident that a majority of both groups are satisfied with the changed opening hours of that library. Notably, there are merely a small number of full-time students who are unhappy with the IT assistance at the library, while the opposite pattern was true for the remaining one.
In terms of the IT support, more than half of the full-time learners are fully fascinated with that service, outnumbering part-time students by a substantially margin, comprising 20%. In constrast, 45% of the latter group are surveyed to be dissappointed with this aid, which is approximately 3 times higher than the former. Meanwhile, the level of quite happiness in both groups constitute a similar figure of about 35%.
Regarding the current opening hours, a significant quantity of full-time and part-time students pretty enjoy the new alteration, at 67% and 72%, respectively. SImilarly, a minority of both groups are reported to feel unhappy with the modified hour, at 1% for the former and 5% for the latter. Simultaneously, 32% of full-time students are a bit satisfied with the opening hours, roughly a tenth higher than the other group.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"delineate" -> "depict"
Explanation: "Delineate" is less commonly used and might sound overly formal in this context. "Depict" is a more straightforward and commonly understood term for presenting information in charts or graphs. -
"satisfied with the changed opening hours" -> "content with the revised opening hours"
Explanation: "Changed" is somewhat vague and doesn’t convey the specific nature of the alteration. "Revised" is a clearer term to indicate that the opening hours have been modified. "Content" carries a nuanced sense of satisfaction and fits well in this context. -
"Notably" -> "Significantly"
Explanation: While "notably" is correct, "significantly" adds a touch of emphasis and formality, enhancing the impact of the statement. -
"merely a small number" -> "only a minority"
Explanation: "Merely" and "small number" together may sound redundant. "Only a minority" provides a more precise and formal expression of the idea. -
"fascinated" -> "satisfied"
Explanation: "Fascinated" implies a strong, almost obsessive interest, which might not accurately reflect satisfaction with a service. "Satisfied" is a more appropriate term to convey contentment. -
"substantially margin" -> "considerable margin"
Explanation: "Substantially margin" is not a standard phrase. "Considerable margin" is clearer and conveys the idea of a significant difference more effectively. -
"comprising 20%" -> "making up 20%"
Explanation: "Comprising" is not the best choice here; "making up" is more precise when referring to a percentage of a whole. -
"In constrast" -> "In contrast"
Explanation: "Constrast" is a typographical error; "contrast" is the correct spelling. -
"dissappointed" -> "disappointed"
Explanation: "Dissappointed" contains an extra ‘s’. "Disappointed" is the correct spelling of the word. -
"quite happiness" -> "moderate satisfaction"
Explanation: "Quite happiness" is not idiomatic. "Moderate satisfaction" better conveys the idea of a level of contentment that is neither overly enthusiastic nor dissatisfied. -
"quantity" -> "proportion"
Explanation: "Quantity" refers to the amount of something, while "proportion" is more appropriate when discussing percentages or parts of a whole. -
"pretty enjoy" -> "quite pleased"
Explanation: "Pretty enjoy" is too colloquial for this context. "Quite pleased" maintains a formal tone while expressing satisfaction. -
"a bit satisfied" -> "moderately content"
Explanation: "A bit satisfied" is somewhat informal. "Moderately content" provides a more formal and precise expression of satisfaction.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends presented in the charts. It effectively highlights key features such as student satisfaction with IT support and opening hours for both full-time and part-time students. The essay presents the data accurately and makes comparisons between the two groups. However, the response could be more fully developed, with some details lacking depth and clarity. For instance, while it mentions the satisfaction levels of students, it could further elaborate on the reasons behind their satisfaction or dissatisfaction.
How to improve: To enhance the response and achieve a higher band score, consider providing more detailed explanations for the trends observed in the charts. Include additional information about why certain groups may be more or less satisfied with the services provided by the library. Additionally, ensure that the essay maintains clarity and coherence throughout, avoiding any ambiguity or vagueness in the presentation of information.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some organization of ideas, with an attempt to separate information into paragraphs. However, there are significant issues with coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks overall progression, as the information is presented in a disjointed manner. There are some cohesive devices used, but they are often inadequate or inaccurate. Paragraphing is attempted, but it is not always logical, and there are some issues with the clarity and structure of paragraphs.
How to improve:
- Organize information more coherently: Ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
- Use cohesive devices more effectively: Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure they accurately convey logical relationships between ideas.
- Improve paragraph structure: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and logical organization of ideas within it.
- Avoid repetition: Ensure that referencing and substitution are used appropriately to avoid repetition and improve clarity.
This feedback is based on the Band 5 descriptor, where the essay makes inadequate use of cohesive devices and paragraphing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
This essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary, although with some inaccuracies. The writer employs varied vocabulary related to the topic, such as "delineate," "substantially," "fascinated," and "alteration," which contributes to a reasonable lexical range. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "dissappointed" instead of "disappointed" and "quite happiness" instead of "quiet happiness." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, like "constrast" instead of "contrast." Despite these errors, they do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve:
To improve, the writer should aim for greater accuracy in word choice and collocation. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors is crucial to ensure clarity and coherence in the essay. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary with more precise and contextually appropriate terms would enhance the overall lexical resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showcasing some variety in structures. There is an attempt to use complex sentences, but they tend to lack accuracy, especially in terms of subject-verb agreement and word choice. However, the errors in grammar and punctuation do not significantly hinder communication, allowing the reader to comprehend the message.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining complex sentence structures to ensure accuracy and coherence. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Additionally, review punctuation rules to ensure correct usage throughout the essay. Increasing the variety of sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The bar charts illustrate data concerning two distinct categories of students utilizing a university library.
Overall, the data highlights a prevailing satisfaction among both full-time and part-time students regarding the adjusted opening hours of the library. Notably, there exists only a minority of full-time students expressing dissatisfaction with the IT support available at the library, while the inverse holds true for the latter group.
In terms of IT support, a majority of full-time students express high satisfaction with this service, outnumbering part-time students by a significant margin, constituting 20%. Conversely, 45% of part-time students indicate disappointment with this assistance, approximately three times higher than the corresponding figure for full-time students. Additionally, both groups show a similar level of moderate satisfaction, each comprising around 35%.
Regarding the revised opening hours, a substantial proportion of both full-time and part-time students express satisfaction with the alteration, at 67% and 72%, respectively. Similarly, a minority of students from both categories report dissatisfaction with the modified hours, standing at 1% for full-time and 5% for part-time students. Concurrently, 32% of full-time students express a degree of satisfaction with the opening hours, roughly one-tenth higher than the corresponding figure for part-time students.
Phản hồi