The diagram shows how Liverton docks have changed since 1980. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows how Liverton docks have changed since 1980.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps show the main changes which have taken place in Liverton docks between the year 1980 and today.

Overall, it can be clearly observed that the docks have been demolished and reconstructed to make way for the construction of a new area by the river banks, which is the complex of an educational centre, residential and recreational buildings relating to its preceding activities in the past.

The plots which are used to position the cranes on both two banksides of the river were flattened to pave the way for new buildings, with a sailing club on the north side and a hotel located on the other side. Another noticeable change is that the sailing club is now across from new apartments and adjacent to the educational centre, which was converted from two-thirds of warehouses in 1980. The last warehouse situated on the east of the sailing club has now been replaced with a new kid’s playing area; on its opposite, a new parking area has been erected, which was a vacant ground in the past.

Besides the reconstruction on the ground, there has been an establishment of a bridge connecting two banks of the river, allowing pedestrians and vehicles to transport easily. Ships have been replaced by an afloat ship museum; there is also a recently developed river walk along the south side of the river.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the main changes which have taken place" -> "the significant transformations that have occurred"
Explanation: "Changes which have taken place" can be more succinctly expressed as "transformations that have occurred," providing a clearer and more direct description.
"the construction of a new area by the river banks" -> "the development of a new waterfront area"
Explanation: "Construction of a new area by the river banks" can be streamlined to "development of a new waterfront area," which is more concise and specific.
"complex of an educational centre, residential and recreational buildings relating to its preceding activities in the past" -> "complex featuring an educational center, residential units, and recreational facilities, echoing its historical activities"
Explanation: The original phrase is cumbersome. "Relating to its preceding activities in the past" can be replaced with "echoing its historical activities," which is more concise and elegant.
"The plots which are used to position the cranes" -> "The plots previously designated for crane placement"
Explanation: "Which are used to position the cranes" can be simplified to "previously designated for crane placement," making the sentence more concise and direct.
"flattened to pave the way for new buildings" -> "flattened to make room for new structures"
Explanation: "Pave the way for new buildings" can be replaced with "make room for new structures," which is a more straightforward description of the action taken.
"with a sailing club on the north side and a hotel located on the other side" -> "featuring a sailing club on the north side and a hotel on the opposite bank"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for clarity and flow, making it easier to understand the layout of the area.
"Another noticeable change is that the sailing club is now across from new apartments and adjacent to the educational centre" -> "Another significant change is the relocation of the sailing club, now situated across from new apartments and adjacent to the educational center"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and coherence, ensuring the relationships between the elements are more apparent.
"The last warehouse situated on the east of the sailing club" -> "The final warehouse located east of the sailing club"
Explanation: "Situated on the east of the sailing club" can be simplified to "located east of the sailing club," making the sentence more concise.
"has now been replaced with a new kid’s playing area" -> "has been replaced by a new children’s recreational area"
Explanation: "Kid’s playing area" can be replaced with "children’s recreational area," which is more formal and descriptive.
"on its opposite, a new parking area has been erected, which was a vacant ground in the past" -> "on the opposite side, a new parking area now stands, replacing the vacant ground"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for clarity and coherence, ensuring the sequence of events is easier to follow.
"there has been an establishment of a bridge connecting two banks of the river" -> "a bridge has been constructed to connect the two banks of the river"
Explanation: "There has been an establishment of a bridge" can be simplified to "a bridge has been constructed," making the sentence more direct and active.
"Ships have been replaced by an afloat ship museum" -> "Ships have been replaced with a floating ship museum"
Explanation: "By an afloat ship museum" can be replaced with "with a floating ship museum," which is more descriptive and specific.
"there is also a recently developed river walk along the south side of the river" -> "a newly developed riverside walk now runs along the south side of the river"
Explanation: "There is also" can be replaced with "a newly developed riverside walk now runs," which is more direct and engaging.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the changes in Liverton docks since 1980. It presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences, and stages of development, including the demolition and reconstruction of the docks to make way for new buildings and facilities. Key features such as the relocation of the sailing club, construction of new apartments and educational center, and establishment of a bridge and river walk are highlighted.

How to improve: To enhance the score, the essay could more fully extend the presentation and highlighting of key features. Adding specific data or statistics regarding the changes, such as the size of the new educational center or the capacity of the new residential buildings, would provide a more detailed and comprehensive overview. Additionally, ensuring that all descriptions are directly relevant to the changes in Liverton docks and avoiding any irrelevant or repetitive details would further strengthen the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information and ideas in a clear progression, starting with an overall summary and then detailing specific changes observed in Liverton docks. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, such as the demolition and reconstruction of docks, changes in building usage, and establishment of new facilities. Cohesion is achieved through the use of transitional phrases like "Overall," "Another noticeable change is," and "Besides." Additionally, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("its," "which"), prepositions ("on both two banksides"), and conjunctions ("which," "and") are appropriately used to connect ideas. Paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the changes.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that referencing is consistently clear and appropriate. Avoid repetition and strive for variety in sentence structures to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to create smoother connections between ideas. Overall, maintaining the current level of organization while refining the use of cohesive devices will strengthen the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision in conveying information. It uses less common lexical items with awareness of style and collocation, such as "reconstructed," "demolished," "preceding activities," "adjacent," and "establishment." There are attempts to convey precise meanings, and the vocabulary used contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and nuanced vocabulary to express ideas. Additionally, ensure consistent accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation to minimize occasional errors and increase the overall clarity of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of subordinate clauses and compound sentences, which contribute to its coherence and cohesion. The writer effectively conveys the main changes that occurred in Liverton docks from 1980 to the present, providing clear descriptions of the transformations. Additionally, the essay showcases good control of grammar and punctuation, with the majority of sentences being error-free. However, there are a few minor errors present, such as missing articles ("a bridge" instead of "the bridge") and awkward phrasing ("establishment of a bridge connecting two banks of the river" could be more concise). These errors, while noticeable, do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim for more precise word choices and sentence structures. Proofreading for missing articles and awkward phrasing can help eliminate minor errors and further improve the clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, focusing on maintaining consistency in tense usage throughout the essay would enhance its overall coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two maps illustrate the significant changes that have occurred in Liverton docks from 1980 to the present day.

Overall, it is evident that the docks have been transformed into a new area along the riverbanks, comprising an educational center, residential buildings, and recreational facilities. This represents a major shift from the docks’ original industrial function.

The cranes that were once located on both banks of the river have been removed to make room for new buildings. On the north bank, a sailing club has been built, while a hotel now occupies the corresponding area on the south bank. Additionally, the sailing club is adjacent to an educational center, which has been developed from two-thirds of the warehouses that existed in 1980. Opposite the sailing club, new apartments have been constructed.

On the east side of the sailing club, a former warehouse has been replaced with a children’s play area. Across the river from it, where there used to be vacant land, a new parking area has been built. Moreover, a bridge has been constructed across the river, connecting the two sides and facilitating easier transportation for pedestrians and vehicles.

Another notable change is the addition of a floating ship museum, replacing the ships that previously occupied the river. Along the southern bank, a riverwalk has been developed, providing a recreational space for visitors.