The following chart show the results of a British survey taken in 2009 related to Housing preferences of UK people.

the chart illustrates us the housing preference among british people in 2009.In terms of london, the most popular house type among british people was semi-detached by about 39%.on the contrary the least favorite house was terraced houses statistics listed below 20%.Apartments also had quite a few favorites, only about 10% less than semi-detached (approximately 30%).Then detach-houses are nearly 25%.regarding liverpool apartments were the most popular house type. accounting for nearly 60% of the population in liverpool, 2 times higher than in london. in manchester detached houses were the most popular house type with more than 30%. nearly 10% higher than london. like this we can see in 3 cities Different streets, people had different house styles they like. In liverpool terraced house was the most popular house style.
10% less than london about 10%. Similarly in manchester terraced house was also the least popular house type about 10% more it can be seen that in all 3 cities people didn't like terraced house. in liverpool detached house was nearly 20 % of people prefer towers in London with this type of house. stork with semi-detached both in liverpool nearly 20% of people prefer semi-detacged about 20% less .regarding manchester. detached house was about 20% higher than london 10%.semi-detached both cities manchester and london have the same percentage of people liking it with about 40%

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the chart illustrates us" -> "the chart illustrates"
Explanation: The phrase "illustrates us" is incorrect as "us" is not a direct object in this context. Removing "us" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone of academic writing.
"by about 39%" -> "approximately 39%"
Explanation: "By about" is somewhat informal and vague for academic writing. "Approximately" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic contexts.
"on the contrary" -> "in contrast"
Explanation: "On the contrary" is somewhat informal and less precise. "In contrast" is a more formal and academically appropriate transition.
"statistics listed below 20%" -> "statistics indicate less than 20%"
Explanation: "Statistics listed below" is awkward and unclear. "Statistics indicate" is more direct and clear, improving the flow and precision of the sentence.
"Then detach-houses are nearly 25%" -> "Detached houses account for nearly 25%"
Explanation: "Then detach-houses" is a typographical error and unclear. "Account for" is the correct verb form for describing proportions in statistics.
"regarding liverpool apartments were the most popular house type" -> "In Liverpool, apartments were the most preferred type of housing"
Explanation: "Regarding" is not typically used in this context; "In Liverpool" is more direct and clear. "Preferred type of housing" is more formal than "house type."
"accounting for nearly 60%" -> "accounting for approximately 60%"
Explanation: "Nearly" is somewhat informal; "approximately" is more precise and formal.
"2 times higher than in london" -> "twice that of London"
Explanation: "2 times higher than in London" is informal and awkward. "Twice that of London" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"like this we can see" -> "this illustrates"
Explanation: "Like this we can see" is informal and conversational. "This illustrates" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"Different streets, people had different house styles they like" -> "Different streets, people preferred different housing styles"
Explanation: "They like" is informal and imprecise. "Preferred" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"10% less than london about 10%" -> "approximately 10% less than in London"
Explanation: The original phrasing is unclear and redundant. "Approximately 10% less than in London" clarifies and corrects the comparison.
"in liverpool detached house was nearly 20 % of people prefer towers in London with this type of house" -> "In Liverpool, nearly 20% of residents preferred detached houses, similar to those in London"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revised version corrects these issues and improves clarity and formality.
"stork with semi-detached" -> "similarly, semi-detached"
Explanation: "Stork" is a typographical error and unclear. "Similarly" is the correct transition needed to link ideas.
"both in liverpool nearly 20% of people prefer semi-detacged" -> "In Liverpool, approximately 20% of residents preferred semi-detached houses"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "semi-detacged" to "semi-detached" and clarifies the sentence structure for better readability and formality.
"regarding manchester. detached house was about 20% higher than london 10%" -> "In Manchester, detached houses accounted for approximately 20% more than in London, 10%"
Explanation: Corrects the punctuation and clarifies the comparison by using "accounted for" and "approximately" for precision and formality.
"semi-detached both cities manchester and london have the same percentage of people liking it with about 40%" -> "Semi-detached houses were similarly popular in both Manchester and London, with approximately 40% of residents preferring them"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the chart. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "in liverpool detached house was nearly 20 % of people prefer towers in London with this type of house." This is not a clear and accurate comparison of the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the chart. The essay should also focus on comparing the data for each city, rather than providing a list of details. The essay should also be more accurate in its presentation of the data. For example, the essay states that "in liverpool detached house was nearly 20 % of people prefer towers in London with this type of house." This is not a clear and accurate comparison of the data. The essay should instead state that "in Liverpool, detached houses were the most popular type of housing, with nearly 60% of the population preferring them. This is twice as high as the percentage of people in London who prefer detached houses."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents some information and ideas related to the housing preferences in different cities; however, it lacks coherent organization and clear progression. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, leading to confusion. There are instances of repetition and unclear referencing, particularly in the way percentages and comparisons are presented. The paragraphing is inadequate, with ideas jumbled together rather than logically separated, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, using clear paragraphing to separate different points (e.g., one paragraph for each city). Additionally, employing a wider range of cohesive devices correctly and ensuring that references are clear will help improve the flow of the essay. It is also essential to avoid repetition and ensure that comparisons are made clearly and accurately. Finally, proofreading for grammar and punctuation will enhance overall clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic use of vocabulary, which is often repetitive and lacks variety. The writer attempts to convey information about housing preferences but does so with limited lexical range and frequent inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. Phrases like "the chart illustrates us" and "accounting for nearly 60% of the population in liverpool" are awkward and detract from clarity. Additionally, the use of terms like "detach-houses" and "semi-detacged" indicates poor control over word formation. Overall, the vocabulary used does not sufficiently meet the requirements for effective communication, leading to strain for the reader.
How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of terms related to housing and preferences. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, focusing on correct spelling and word formation is crucial. Reading more academic texts or sample essays can provide exposure to higher-level vocabulary and improve overall language proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors that hinder clarity and coherence. There are several issues with punctuation, capitalization, and sentence structure, which lead to confusion in meaning. The use of complex sentences is minimal, and many sentences are poorly constructed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. While some information is conveyed, the predominance of errors significantly affects communication.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Sentence Structure: Practice constructing a variety of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences, to improve fluency and coherence.
Punctuation and Capitalization: Pay attention to proper punctuation and capitalization rules to enhance readability. For instance, starting sentences with capital letters and using periods to separate sentences correctly.
Grammar Practice: Engage in targeted grammar exercises to reduce errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.
Proofreading: Develop a habit of proofreading the essay to catch and correct errors before submission, ensuring that the final draft is clearer and more polished.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart illustrates the housing preferences among British people in 2009. In terms of London, the most popular house type was semi-detached, accounting for about 39%. In contrast, the least favored type was terraced houses, with statistics listed below 20%. Apartments also had a significant number of preferences, approximately 30%, which is only about 10% less than semi-detached houses. Detached houses represented nearly 25%.

Regarding Liverpool, apartments were the most popular house type, accounting for nearly 60% of the population, which is two times higher than in London. In Manchester, detached houses were the most favored type, with more than 30%, nearly 10% higher than in London.

This data indicates that in the three cities, people had different preferences for house styles. In Liverpool, terraced houses were the most popular style, with about 10% less than in London. Similarly, in Manchester, terraced houses were also the least popular type, with about 10% more than in Liverpool. It can be observed that in all three cities, people did not favor terraced houses. In Liverpool, detached houses were preferred by nearly 20% of the population, while in London, this type of house was less favored.

In terms of semi-detached houses, nearly 20% of people in Liverpool preferred this type, which is about 20% less than in London. Regarding Manchester, detached houses were about 20% more popular than in London, while semi-detached houses had the same percentage of preference in both Manchester and London, with about 40%.