The given line graph illustrates the proportion of people used the Internet across three different countries over a period of ten years from 1999
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of people used the Internet across three different countries over a period of ten years from 1999
The line graph compares the percentage of individuals in the USA, Canada, and Mexico who used the Internet between 1999 and 2009.
Overall, all three countries experienced a significant increase in Internet usage over the ten-year period, with the USA showing the highest initial and the Canada showing the highest final percentages.
In 1999, the USA had the highest Internet usage at approximately 25%. This figure rose steadily, reaching about 80% by 2009, indicating a strong adoption of Internet technology.
Canada began with a similar percentage of around 10% in 1999. It followed a comparable upward trend, reaching approximately 100% by 2009, reflecting consistent growth in Internet access.
In contrast, Mexico started with the lowest percentage of Internet users, at about 5% in 1999. However, it also experienced significant growth, climbing to around 40% by 2009. While the increase was substantial, Mexico still lagged behind both the USA and Canada by the end of the period.
In summary, the graph illustrates a clear upward trend in Internet usage across the USA, Canada, and Mexico from 1999 to 2009. While the USA led in both initial and final usage rates, Mexico showed the most considerable relative growth during this decade.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the Canada showing the highest final percentages" -> "Canada showing the highest final percentage"
Explanation: The article "the" is unnecessary before "Canada," and "percentages" should be singular to maintain consistency with the context of a single final percentage. -
"indicating a strong adoption of Internet technology" -> "indicating a robust adoption of Internet technology"
Explanation: "Robust" is a more precise term than "strong," conveying a sense of durability and effectiveness in the adoption of technology. -
"reflecting consistent growth in Internet access" -> "demonstrating consistent growth in Internet access"
Explanation: "Demonstrating" is a more formal and precise term than "reflecting," which enhances the academic tone of the writing. -
"However, it also experienced significant growth" -> "Nevertheless, it also experienced significant growth"
Explanation: "Nevertheless" is a more formal transition than "However," improving the academic tone of the essay. -
"While the increase was substantial, Mexico still lagged behind both the USA and Canada by the end of the period" -> "Although the increase was substantial, Mexico still lagged behind both the USA and Canada by the end of the period"
Explanation: "Although" is a more formal conjunction than "While," which better aligns with the academic style. -
"the graph illustrates a clear upward trend" -> "the graph illustrates a distinct upward trend"
Explanation: "Distinct" conveys a stronger sense of clarity and specificity than "clear," enhancing the precision of the description. -
"Mexico showed the most considerable relative growth" -> "Mexico exhibited the most significant relative growth"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is a more formal and precise verb than "showed," and "significant" is a more appropriate term than "considerable" in an academic context.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in the line graph, highlighting the significant increase in internet usage across all three countries. It also presents key features, such as the initial and final percentages for each country, and compares their growth rates. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the trends, such as the rate of increase or the specific years when significant changes occurred.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the trends, such as the rate of increase or the specific years when significant changes occurred. For example, the essay could state that the USA experienced a steady increase in internet usage, rising from approximately 25% in 1999 to about 80% in 2009, an increase of 55 percentage points. Similarly, the essay could state that Canada’s internet usage increased from around 10% in 1999 to approximately 100% in 2009, an increase of 90 percentage points. This would provide a more detailed and informative overview of the trends in the line graph.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the data, with a clear central topic in each. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, though there are instances where some phrases could be more varied to enhance flow. Overall, the essay meets the requirements for Band 7, but it lacks the sophistication and seamlessness of higher bands.
How to improve: To achieve a higher score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition and enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that all paragraphs are tightly focused on a single idea while maintaining logical connections could further improve coherence. More nuanced transitions could also help in making the progression of ideas more fluid.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the information from the line graph. The use of terms like "significant increase," "strong adoption," and "consistent growth" indicates an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the Canada" instead of simply "Canada," which slightly detracts from the overall lexical quality. Additionally, while the vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, it does not showcase a wide range of less common lexical items that would elevate the score to a higher band.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could incorporate a broader variety of vocabulary, particularly less common lexical items related to trends and statistics. Additionally, ensuring grammatical accuracy and avoiding awkward phrasing will enhance clarity and precision. Finally, including more sophisticated expressions or synonyms could demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer effectively communicates the trends illustrated in the graph, using appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as "the Canada showing the highest final percentages," which detracts slightly from the overall accuracy and control expected at this level.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining grammatical accuracy and enhancing sentence variety. This can be done by proofreading for minor errors, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and avoiding awkward phrasing. Additionally, incorporating more complex sentence structures and ensuring that all sentences are error-free would help to elevate the score to Band 8 or 9.
Bài sửa mẫu
The line graph compares the percentage of individuals in the USA, Canada, and Mexico who used the Internet between 1999 and 2009. Overall, all three countries experienced a significant increase in Internet usage over the ten-year period, with the USA showing the highest initial percentage and Canada exhibiting the highest final percentage.
In 1999, the USA had the highest Internet usage at approximately 25%. This figure rose steadily, reaching about 80% by 2009, indicating a strong adoption of Internet technology. Canada began with a similar percentage of around 10% in 1999. It followed a comparable upward trend, reaching approximately 100% by 2009, reflecting consistent growth in Internet access.
In contrast, Mexico started with the lowest percentage of Internet users, at about 5% in 1999. However, it also experienced significant growth, climbing to around 40% by 2009. While the increase was substantial, Mexico still lagged behind both the USA and Canada by the end of the period.
In summary, the graph illustrates a clear upward trend in Internet usage across the USA, Canada, and Mexico from 1999 to 2009. While the USA led in both initial and final usage rates, Mexico showed the most considerable relative growth during this decade.
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