The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solution you can you suggest?

The advent of the internet has revolutionized the way information is distributed and absorbed, yet it has also entailed many unprecedented issues. This essay will first indicate that the major issues brought on by this predicament are the emergence of cybercriminals and online shaming, before suggesting that collective measures from government and individuals can curb these problems.

The Internet engenders certain valid concerns in countries and communities, one of which is increased vulnerability to cyber-attacks. By setting sophisticated traps on digital platforms, namely sending phishing links in the forms of text or email, confidential information of users can potentially be exposed to hackers even in the presence of firewall and antivirus software. These crucial data might then be misused for the bad purposes of the scammers. Another pressing issue is the occurrence of online harassment. This is because social media applications provide users with freedom to post, share, and even express their perspectives, which abets some individuals in defaming others. As a consequence, not only does it may cause mental disorders like anxiety and low self-esteem among those being shamed but also cultivate a negative online setting.

However, these problems caused by the internet can be effectively mitigated by actions from individuals and society. The first measure revolves around education for the public. Indeed, the government should run public promotion campaigns to raise people's awareness of the importance of online privacy, as well as equip them with some self-protection skills, such as using complex, unique passwords or limiting personal data shared online. This, in turn, would reduce the risk of information leakage. The second solution is the implementation of stricter regulations. Governments should strengthen existing laws against cyberbullying and online harassment, fostering respect and thoughtfulness when using freedom of speech on social media.

In conclusion, the growing popularity of the internet has caused many pressing concerns for society, with hacking and digital harassment being the most serious ones. Nonetheless, the most effective approaches to address these issues are to educate individuals about self-protection on the internet and also for the authorities to tighten regulations on offensive behavior.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The advent of the internet" -> "The emergence of the internet"
Explanation: "Emergence" is a more precise term in this context, suggesting a gradual and significant development, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more general "advent."
"entailed many unprecedented issues" -> "has entailed numerous unprecedented issues"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal and precise than "many," and it aligns better with the academic style by emphasizing the extent of the issues.
"This essay will first indicate" -> "This essay will initially discuss"
Explanation: "Discuss" is more specific and academically appropriate than "indicate," which can be vague and less direct in this context.
"major issues brought on by this predicament" -> "significant challenges arising from this situation"
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more neutral and precise term than "issues," and "arising from" is more formal than "brought on by."
"increased vulnerability to cyber-attacks" -> "enhanced susceptibility to cyber-attacks"
Explanation: "Enhanced susceptibility" is a more precise and formal way to describe the increased risk, fitting better in an academic context.
"By setting sophisticated traps on digital platforms" -> "By deploying sophisticated traps on digital platforms"
Explanation: "Deploying" is a more precise term than "setting" in this context, as it specifically refers to the act of putting something into operation or use.
"in the forms of text or email" -> "in the form of text messages or emails"
Explanation: "In the form of" is grammatically correct and more precise than "in the forms of," which is grammatically incorrect.
"crucial data might then be misused" -> "sensitive data could then be misused"
Explanation: "Sensitive" is a more specific term than "crucial" in this context, as it directly relates to the protection of personal data.
"not only does it may cause" -> "not only does it may cause mental disorders"
Explanation: "Mental disorders" should be a separate clause for clarity and grammatical correctness.
"cultivate a negative online setting" -> "foster a negative online environment"
Explanation: "Foster" is more precise and formal than "cultivate," and "environment" is more appropriate than "setting" in this context.
"The first measure revolves around education for the public" -> "The first measure involves public education"
Explanation: "Involves" is more direct and formal than "revolves around," and "public education" is a more standard term in academic writing.
"equip them with some self-protection skills" -> "provide them with essential self-protection skills"
Explanation: "Provide" is more formal and precise than "equip," and "essential" emphasizes the importance of these skills.
"implementation of stricter regulations" -> "implementation of more stringent regulations"
Explanation: "More stringent" is a more precise and formal term than "stricter," which is somewhat informal and less specific.
"fostering respect and thoughtfulness" -> "promoting respect and thoughtfulness"
Explanation: "Promoting" is a more direct and formal verb than "fostering" in this context, aligning better with the academic tone.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic audience.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying serious problems associated with the internet—cybercrime and online shaming—and proposing solutions to mitigate these issues. The introduction clearly outlines the problems and solutions, which is crucial for a comprehensive response. The body paragraphs provide detailed explanations of the problems, supported by relevant examples, and the solutions are logically presented.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the problems and the proposed solutions. For instance, after discussing cybercrime, a direct transition to how education can specifically combat this issue would strengthen the coherence of the argument. Additionally, including a brief mention of other potential problems could demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that the problems associated with the internet can be addressed through education and regulation. The use of phrases like "this essay will first indicate" and "the most effective approaches" helps to reinforce the writer’s stance. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be more assertive, particularly in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and assertiveness, the writer could use more definitive language in the conclusion. Instead of stating "the most effective approaches," the writer could assert that "the most effective approaches are" to emphasize certainty in their recommendations. Additionally, reinforcing the position in each body paragraph with a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument would enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of the problems associated with the internet. The examples of cyber-attacks and online harassment are relevant and well-explained, showcasing the writer’s understanding of the issues. The solutions are also logically extended, with explanations of how education and stricter regulations can help. However, some ideas could be further developed, particularly the implications of the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics related to the problems and solutions. For instance, citing studies on the effectiveness of educational campaigns in reducing cybercrime or providing examples of successful regulations in other countries would add depth to the argument. Additionally, discussing potential challenges in implementing these solutions could provide a more nuanced perspective.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, focusing on the problems of cybercrime and online shaming and the proposed solutions. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from identifying issues to suggesting remedies. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be tightened to avoid any potential drift from the main topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to addressing the prompt. Avoiding overly complex sentences that introduce new ideas unrelated to the main argument can help. For example, the phrase "which abets some individuals in defaming others" could be simplified to maintain clarity and relevance. Regularly revisiting the prompt in each paragraph can also help keep the essay tightly aligned with the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main issues and solutions. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first focusing on the problems associated with the internet and the second addressing potential solutions. Each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next, with a clear progression of thought. For instance, the transition from discussing cyber-attacks to online harassment is smooth, as both issues stem from the same overarching theme of internet-related dangers.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could consider using more explicit linking phrases between the problems and solutions. For example, after discussing the problems, a transitional sentence such as "In light of these issues, it is crucial to consider effective solutions" could strengthen the connection between the paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into problems and solutions respectively. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the focus of each solution.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should begin with a strong topic sentence that clearly indicates what the paragraph will discuss. For example, the second body paragraph could start with, "To combat the issues of cybercrime and online harassment, several proactive measures can be implemented." This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "indeed," and "as a consequence," which help to connect ideas and maintain flow. The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there are moments where the variety of cohesive devices could be expanded to enhance the richness of the text. For instance, the phrase "this, in turn," is effective but could be complemented with additional devices to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more synonyms and alternative phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "this," they could use "such actions" or "these initiatives." Additionally, employing a wider range of linking words, such as "furthermore," "consequently," and "on the other hand," can help to create a more sophisticated and varied writing style.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with terms such as "revolutionized," "unprecedented issues," "cybercriminals," "vulnerability," and "defaming." These words effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are instances where more sophisticated synonyms or expressions could enhance the essay further. For example, instead of "bad purposes," a more nuanced phrase like "malicious intent" could be used.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms that can replace common words. Engaging with advanced vocabulary in context through reading and practice can help in this regard. Additionally, incorporating idiomatic expressions or collocations relevant to the topic could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the occurrence of online harassment" could be more directly stated as "the rise of online harassment," which conveys the idea more effectively. Furthermore, the phrase "the bad purposes of the scammers" is vague and could be interpreted in various ways, which detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey the exact meaning intended. This can be achieved by reviewing the context in which certain words are used and considering whether they accurately reflect the situation described. Practicing paraphrasing and summarizing can also aid in developing a more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable spelling errors that would impede understanding. Words like "sophisticated," "confidential," and "harassment" are spelled correctly, demonstrating the writer’s proficiency in this area.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also help identify any overlooked errors. Additionally, regular practice with spelling exercises or vocabulary quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay achieves a solid Band 7 for Lexical Resource, there are opportunities for improvement in the range and precision of vocabulary used. By incorporating more sophisticated synonyms, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining high spelling standards, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For example, the opening sentence employs a complex structure with a dependent clause ("The advent of the internet has revolutionized the way information is distributed and absorbed"), effectively setting the stage for the discussion. Additionally, the use of phrases like "by setting sophisticated traps on digital platforms" and "not only does it may cause mental disorders" showcases a good command of grammatical structures. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be further diversified, particularly in the second body paragraph, where several sentences begin with similar phrases, leading to a somewhat repetitive rhythm.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more introductory phrases or clauses that vary in length and complexity. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The first measure revolves around…" or "The second solution is…", you could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses to introduce ideas, such as "To address these issues effectively, one significant measure is…" This would create a more engaging flow and demonstrate a broader range of grammatical structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "not only does it may cause mental disorders" contains a grammatical error; the correct form should be "not only may it cause mental disorders." Additionally, punctuation is mostly accurate, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which abets some individuals in defaming others" to separate it from the main clause.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and modal verb usage. Regular practice with complex sentences can help solidify these concepts. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. For example, revising the sentence to include a comma before "which abets some individuals" would improve readability. Consider reading the essay aloud to identify areas where pauses might be necessary, indicating potential punctuation improvements.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With some minor adjustments to sentence variety and grammatical precision, the essay could reach an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The advent of the internet has revolutionized the way information is distributed and absorbed, yet it has also entailed many unprecedented issues. This essay will first indicate that the major issues brought on by this predicament are the emergence of cybercriminals and online shaming, before suggesting that collective measures from the government and individuals can curb these problems.

The internet engenders certain valid concerns in countries and communities, one of which is increased vulnerability to cyber-attacks. By deploying sophisticated traps on digital platforms, namely sending phishing links in the form of text messages or emails, confidential information of users can potentially be exposed to hackers even in the presence of firewalls and antivirus software. This crucial data might then be misused for the malicious purposes of scammers. Another pressing issue is the occurrence of online harassment. This is because social media applications provide users with the freedom to post, share, and even express their perspectives, which abets some individuals in defaming others. As a consequence, not only may it cause mental disorders like anxiety and low self-esteem among those being shamed, but it can also foster a negative online environment.

However, these problems caused by the internet can be effectively mitigated by actions from individuals and society. The first measure involves public education. Indeed, the government should run public promotion campaigns to raise people’s awareness of the importance of online privacy, as well as provide them with essential self-protection skills, such as using complex, unique passwords or limiting personal data shared online. This, in turn, would reduce the risk of information leakage. The second solution is the implementation of more stringent regulations. Governments should strengthen existing laws against cyberbullying and online harassment, promoting respect and thoughtfulness when using freedom of speech on social media.

In conclusion, the growing popularity of the internet has caused many pressing concerns for society, with hacking and digital harassment being the most serious ones. Nonetheless, the most effective approaches to address these issues are to educate individuals about self-protection on the internet and for the authorities to tighten regulations on offensive behavior.