The picture below shows the differences in the layout of the conference centre. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the changes in the floor plans of a conference center between 2010 and 2025. Overall, there will be more space for car parking and several room will also be added by 2025.
Begin with the left of the plan, people remain the construction of two rooms and the hall. An IT center will be built on a half of the empty area next to two rooms of the 2010 picture. And the other one is for canteen and kitchen but still leave a small land for garden. Beside, there will be two meeting rooms, a game room and music room seperated equally. As the result, the square of garden will be smaller than previous one.
On the right side, a residence hall will be constructed with 20 rooms at the top right of the diagram. Moreover, the car park will replace the garden which is used to be there and cover in a rectangular shape.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Several room will also be added" -> "Several rooms will also be added"
Explanation: "Room" should be pluralized to match the countable noun "rooms." Adding the plural "s" makes the sentence grammatically correct.
"Begin with the left of the plan, people remain the construction of two rooms and the hall." -> "Beginning on the left side of the plan, there will be the construction of two rooms and a hall."
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and awkwardly structured. Revising it clarifies the sequence and improves readability by specifying the location and activities.
"An IT center will be built on a half of the empty area" -> "An IT center will occupy half of the vacant area"
Explanation: "Built on a half of the empty area" is awkwardly worded. "Occupying half of the vacant area" provides a clearer and more concise description of the IT center’s location.
"And the other one is for canteen and kitchen but still leave a small land for garden." -> "The other one will house a canteen and kitchen, while still retaining a small area for a garden."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and proper structure. By rephrasing it, the intended meaning is conveyed more clearly, and the sentence becomes grammatically correct.
"Beside, there will be two meeting rooms…" -> "Additionally, there will be two meeting rooms…"
Explanation: "Beside" is incorrectly used here. "Additionally" is a more appropriate transition to introduce additional information in the context.
"seperated equally" -> "distributed equally"
Explanation: "Separated equally" is not the appropriate phrase here. "Distributed equally" accurately describes the fair allocation of the meeting rooms, game room, and music room.
"As the result" -> "As a result"
Explanation: "As the result" is grammatically incorrect. "As a result" is the correct phrase to introduce a consequence or outcome.
"On the right side, a residence hall will be constructed with 20 rooms at the top right of the diagram." -> "On the right side, a residence hall with 20 rooms will be constructed in the top right corner of the diagram."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and proper structure. By rephrasing it, the location and details of the residence hall are conveyed more clearly and concisely.
"Moreover, the car park will replace the garden which is used to be there and cover in a rectangular shape." -> "Moreover, the car park will replace the former garden area and will be in a rectangular shape."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured and lacks clarity. By rephrasing it, the intended meaning is conveyed more clearly and grammatically correct.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the changes in the layout of the conference center from 2010 to 2025. It provides an overview of the main features, such as the addition of new rooms, an IT center, a canteen and kitchen, meeting rooms, a game room, a music room, a residence hall, and an expanded car park. The essay also makes some comparisons, noting the changes in the size of the garden and the replacement of the garden with a car park. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear, and the information could be more fully extended.
How to improve: To improve, ensure accuracy and clarity in the description of the changes in the layout of the conference center. Provide more detailed information about the additions and modifications, and avoid inaccuracies or unclear statements. Additionally, extend the description of the comparisons between the 2010 and 2025 floor plans to provide a more comprehensive overview. Consider organizing the information more logically and clearly to enhance coherence and cohesion in the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization, outlining changes in the conference center’s layout over time. It covers the additions of rooms and changes in the usage of space. However, there are shortcomings in coherence and cohesion. The progression of ideas is somewhat lacking, with abrupt transitions between different aspects of the conference center’s layout. Additionally, there are issues with cohesion, as some sentences lack clear connections to preceding or succeeding ideas. Paragraphing is inconsistent, with some ideas grouped together without clear logical breaks. The essay also suffers from inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to a lack of overall smoothness in the presentation of information.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear central topic and use appropriate transitions to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, refine the use of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. Consistently use paragraphing to logically separate different aspects of the conference center’s layout, providing readers with a clear and organized structure. Finally, strive for accuracy and clarity in conveying information to avoid confusion and repetition.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with some attempt to convey information about the changes in the conference center layout. There is adequate coverage of the main features, such as the addition of rooms and changes in parking space. However, the vocabulary used is limited, and there are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation. For example, "people remain the construction" is unclear and lacks precision. Additionally, there are errors in collocation and spelling, such as "seperated" instead of "separated." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the message.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on expanding the vocabulary to convey information more precisely and accurately. Use a wider range of vocabulary related to construction, facilities, and spatial descriptions. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to enhance clarity and fluency. Additionally, review spelling and word formation to minimize errors and ensure smoother communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some structures being accurate. However, errors predominate, and punctuation is often faulty throughout the essay. There is a mixture of grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect word choices, and missing articles. Punctuation errors, including missing commas and incorrect use of conjunctions, further contribute to the lack of clarity and cohesion in the writing.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on improving sentence structures by incorporating a variety of complex sentence forms. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Additionally, practice proper punctuation usage, including commas, periods, and conjunctions, to ensure clarity and coherence in writing. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing writing tasks with feedback can help address these areas of improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram depicts the evolution of the layout of a conference center from 2010 to 2025. Overall, notable changes include an expansion of the car parking area and the addition of several rooms by 2025.

Beginning with the left side of the plan, two rooms and a hall are retained from the 2010 layout. Adjacent to these, an IT center is planned for construction, occupying half of the vacant area. The remaining space is designated for a canteen, kitchen, and a small garden. Additionally, two meeting rooms, a game room, and a music room will be evenly distributed. Consequently, the size of the garden will decrease compared to its previous dimensions.

On the right side, a residential hall comprising 20 rooms will be erected at the top right corner of the diagram. Furthermore, the garden area will be replaced by a rectangular-shaped car park.