The picture show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average in a city
The picture show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average in a city
The pictures provide information on how much money(euro) an average family received an income and spent on food and clothes in a city in the UK.
Overall, what is notable from the table is that the money being paid on food and clothes witnessed an upward trend and the income is a contrasting pattern. In addition, the meat and fish group had the highest figure than other groups.
Regarding the first chart, in the year 2010 and 2013, the family income was 29000 euro and 25000 euro, which reduced modestly, respectively. While the figure for spending on food and clothes in the latter year was reported at 15000 euro, that of the former year was 14000 euro.
Concerning the last chart, the percentage of meat and fish group at 29%, which is 3% higher than the figure for fruit and vegetables group. According to the remaining groups, they accounted for under 20% being insignificance of the chart.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the money being paid on food and clothes witnessed an upward trend" -> "expenditure on food and clothing experienced an upward trajectory"
Explanation: "Expenditure" is a more formal term for "money being paid." "Witnessed an upward trend" can be replaced with "experienced an upward trajectory" for a more sophisticated expression of the increasing pattern. -
"a contrasting pattern" -> "a divergent trend"
Explanation: "Contrasting pattern" is somewhat vague. "Divergent trend" specifies a clear difference between the patterns of income and expenditure. -
"the family income was 29000 euro and 25000 euro" -> "the family income amounted to 29000 euro and 25000 euro"
Explanation: "Amounted to" is a more precise and formal way to express the level of income. -
"which reduced modestly" -> "which saw a modest reduction"
Explanation: "Reduced modestly" can be rephrased as "saw a modest reduction" for clarity and precision. -
"While the figure for spending on food and clothes in the latter year was reported at 15000 euro, that of the former year was 14000 euro." -> "In contrast, spending on food and clothes amounted to 15000 euro in the latter year, compared to 14000 euro in the former year."
Explanation: This revision provides a clearer and more structured comparison between the spending on food and clothes in different years. -
"Concerning the last chart" -> "Turning to the final chart"
Explanation: "Turning to" is a more formal and dynamic transition phrase compared to "concerning." -
"According to the remaining groups, they accounted for under 20% being insignificance of the chart." -> "The remaining groups, comprising less than 20% each, are of marginal significance in the chart."
Explanation: This revision clarifies the meaning and improves the phrasing by replacing "being insignificance" with "are of marginal significance" and restructuring the sentence for better coherence.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the information presented in the charts. It identifies the main trends, such as the upward trend in spending on food and clothes and the contrasting pattern in family income. Key features, such as the figures for income and spending, are highlighted, although some details could be more fully extended. The essay contains relevant information but lacks some specific details that could enhance the clarity and completeness of the analysis.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific details and analysis, such as discussing the specific amounts of income and spending in each year, as well as providing a more detailed comparison of the different expenditure categories. Additionally, ensuring that all information presented is accurate and relevant would strengthen the overall response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization, particularly in the introduction where it introduces the topic and provides an overview of the data presented. However, there is a lack of overall progression as the essay jumps between discussing income and spending without a clear transition. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate; there are some attempts, such as the use of "Regarding" and "Concerning" to introduce different parts of the data, but they are not used consistently. Additionally, there is some repetition in the essay, particularly in the discussion of income and spending figures. The paragraphing is also inadequate as there is no clear separation of ideas into paragraphs.
How to improve:
- Work on organizing the essay more effectively by ensuring a logical progression of ideas. This can be achieved by following a clear structure such as introducing the topic, discussing income trends, then spending trends.
- Use a variety of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay to link ideas and improve coherence. For example, using transition words and phrases like "however," "meanwhile," "in addition," etc.
- Avoid repetitive language and strive for clarity by using synonyms and varied sentence structures.
- Ensure proper paragraphing by separating distinct ideas into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data presented.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with varied word choices and attempts to use less common vocabulary. There is some accuracy in word choice and collocation, although there are occasional inaccuracies that slightly affect precision. Spelling and word formation errors are present but do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively conveys information about average income and spending on food and clothes, utilizing vocabulary related to economic terms and statistical data.
How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary, particularly in describing trends and patterns. Pay attention to precision in word choice and accuracy in spelling and word formation to enhance clarity and fluency. Additionally, aim for more sophisticated control of lexical features to elevate the overall sophistication of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences, which is indicative of an effort to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures. However, there are notable errors throughout the essay that hinder clarity and accuracy. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the money being paid"), awkward phrasing ("the family income was 29000 euro"), and incomplete sentences ("While the figure for spending on food and clothes in the latter year was reported at 15000 euro, that of the former year was 14000 euro"). These errors, along with occasional inaccuracies, contribute to a lack of precision and fluency in the writing.
How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on sentence structure variety while ensuring clarity and coherence. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence completeness. Additionally, revise for clarity and coherence to ensure that ideas are expressed clearly and logically. Practicing sentence construction and proofreading for grammatical errors can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided figures illustrate the average income and expenditures on food and clothing by typical families residing in a city in the UK, measured in euros.
Overall, the data reveals a noteworthy contrast between the trends in income and expenditures on food and clothing, with the latter witnessing a consistent increase over the years, while the former displays a modest reduction.
Turning to the income data depicted in the first chart, it is evident that there was a slight decrease from 29,000 euros in 2010 to 25,000 euros in 2013. Conversely, expenditures on food and clothing saw a marginal increase from 14,000 euros in 2010 to 15,000 euros in 2013.
Regarding the second chart, it is notable that the meat and fish category accounted for the highest percentage, standing at 29%, surpassing the figure for fruit and vegetables by 3%. The remaining categories each represented less than 20% of the total expenditure, indicating their relatively minor significance in the context of the data.
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