The plans below show a student common room five years ago and the common room now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below illustrates how changes have taken places in a student common room 5 years ago and in the present.
Overall, the room has been redesigned to equip more facilities including drinks machine, new corner for students using their laptops, and there are now fewer tables.
Looking at the left-hand side of the library, the amenities almost remained unchanged, namely sink, cupboard, bench, microwave, and refrigerator. However, at the present time, one of the two benchs has been removed by an additional microwave, helping students to conveniently prepare their foods. At the end of the student room, a new drinks machine has been installed, which is a great way for students and staffs to get neccessary refresher during the day. Furthermore, there used to four chairs spread throughout the library, two of them have been replaced with a larger square table, providing more space for gatherings.
On the right corner of the library, a bench intended for laptop using has removed one of the nearby table. Moreover, the bookshelf in the right far corner of the library has been converted into a more modern are for students to watch TV, now featuring a flat-screen television and three comfortable chairs.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The maps below illustrates" -> "The maps below illustrate"
Explanation: "Illustrate" should be in the plural form "illustrate" to agree with the plural subject "maps."
"changes have taken places" -> "changes have taken place"
Explanation: The correct phrase is "taken place," not "taken places," as "place" is an uncountable noun.
"student common room" -> "student common room"
Explanation: This is a correct term and does not need correction.
"more facilities including drinks machine" -> "more facilities, including a drinks machine"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "facilities" improves the sentence structure and clarity, and "a drinks machine" should be used instead of "drinks machine" for grammatical correctness.
"new corner for students using their laptops" -> "a new area for students to use their laptops"
Explanation: "Area" is more precise than "corner," and "to use" is grammatically correct compared to "using."
"there are now fewer tables" -> "there are now fewer tables"
Explanation: This is grammatically correct and maintains the original meaning.
"the left-hand side of the library" -> "the left side of the library"
Explanation: "Left-hand side" is redundant; "left side" is sufficient and more concise.
"benchs" -> "benches"
Explanation: "Benchs" is a typographical error; the correct spelling is "benches."
"neccessary" -> "necessary"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "necessary."
"get neccessary refresher" -> "obtain necessary refreshments"
Explanation: "Obtain" is more formal than "get," and "refreshments" is the correct plural form.
"four chairs spread throughout the library" -> "four chairs distributed throughout the library"
Explanation: "Distributed" is a more precise and formal term than "spread."
"two of them have been replaced with a larger square table" -> "two of these have been replaced with a larger square table"
Explanation: "These" is more appropriate than "them" in this context, referring back to the chairs.
"a bench intended for laptop using" -> "a bench intended for laptop use"
Explanation: "Use" is grammatically correct and more formal than "using."
"has removed one of the nearby table" -> "has removed one of the nearby tables"
Explanation: "Tables" should be plural to match the context of multiple tables in the room.
"the bookshelf in the right far corner" -> "the bookshelf in the far right corner"
Explanation: "Far right" is a more common and clear way to describe the location.
"a more modern are for students to watch TV" -> "a more modern area for students to watch television"
Explanation: "Area" should be "area" and "television" is the correct noun form for formal writing.
"now featuring a flat-screen television" -> "now featuring a flat-screen television set"
Explanation: "Television set" is the correct term for the device, enhancing formality and clarity.
"three comfortable chairs" -> "three comfortable chairs"
Explanation: No correction needed; this is correct.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the student common room, highlighting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. However, the essay does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "one of the two benchs has been removed by an additional microwave, helping students to conveniently prepare their foods." This is not accurate, as the bench has been removed and replaced with a microwave.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. For example, the essay could state that "one of the two benches has been removed and replaced with a microwave, which may help students to conveniently prepare their foods." This would be a more accurate and relevant statement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe changes in the student common room, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to a repetitive structure and unclear references. For example, phrases like "one of the two benches has been removed" could be better linked to the overall context of the changes. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not always logical, as the ideas do not transition smoothly from one to another.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer connections between ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices effectively and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that logically progresses to the next. Additionally, improving the overall structure of the essay by grouping related ideas together and using transitional phrases can help create a more cohesive narrative.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the amenities almost remained unchanged" and "helping students to conveniently prepare their foods." Additionally, there are errors in spelling (e.g., "bench" should be "benches," "neccessary" should be "necessary") and word formation that occasionally impede communication. Overall, while the vocabulary used is sufficient for the task, the inaccuracies and errors prevent a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring correct spelling and word forms. Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions could help convey meanings more fluently and flexibly. Finally, proofreading for minor errors before submission would improve overall clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. There are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues present, such as "the maps below illustrates" (should be "illustrate") and "one of the two benchs" (should be "benches"). These errors do not significantly impede communication, but they do detract from the overall accuracy. The use of phrases like "a new drinks machine has been installed" shows an attempt to use a variety of structures, but the frequent errors indicate that control over grammar is not fully established.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Grammar Accuracy: Review and correct subject-verb agreement and plural forms (e.g., "illustrates" should be "illustrate," "benchs" should be "benches").
Punctuation: Ensure proper use of commas and periods to enhance clarity and readability.
Variety of Structures: Continue to incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy to reduce errors.
Proofreading: Allocate time for proofreading to catch minor errors that may occur during writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps below illustrate how changes have taken place in a student common room five years ago and in the present. Overall, the room has been redesigned to incorporate more facilities, including a drinks machine and a new corner for students using their laptops, while the number of tables has decreased.

Looking at the left-hand side of the common room, the amenities have mostly remained unchanged, namely the sink, cupboard, bench, microwave, and refrigerator. However, at present, one of the two benches has been removed to accommodate an additional microwave, helping students conveniently prepare their food. At the end of the common room, a new drinks machine has been installed, providing a great way for students and staff to obtain necessary refreshments during the day. Furthermore, there used to be four chairs spread throughout the room; two of them have now been replaced with a larger square table, offering more space for gatherings.

In the right corner of the common room, a bench intended for laptop use has replaced one of the nearby tables. Moreover, the bookshelf in the far right corner has been converted into a more modern area for students to watch TV, now featuring a flat-screen television and three comfortable chairs.