The table below shows expenditures of four car companies on advertising in the UK in 2002.

The table illustrates the expenses on advertising of 4 automobile producers in the United Kingdom in 2002.
Overall, all four car companies invested a lot of money in TV advertisements. In contrast, cinema was the least favored kind of advertisement. In terms of companies, Renault spent the largest amount of money in advertising. Moreover, Radio was the kind of advertisement which the four companies expensed the same amount of money.

Generally, Renault spent a larger amount of money on advertising than Rover. Renault had the two most ad forms which were TV and Press, at 59 millions of dollars and 45 millions of dollars respectively, similar to Rover 45 millions of dollars and 38 millions of dollars respectively. Futhemore, Renault & Rover spent the same amount for Radio at 15 millions of dollars and both spent least on Cinena & Outdoor.

Regarding the other two companies, Vauxhall and Cetirizine both spent most on TV, specially Cetirizine which allocated 5 millions of dollars than Vaux. Moreover, the two producers expensed the same amount on Radio, at 15 millions of dollars. In terms of cinema, Vaux spent 5 mil dollars on cinema, while Cetirizine did not allocate on this kind of advertisement.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The table illustrates" -> "The table depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates" in academic contexts, particularly when referring to visual representations like tables.
"a lot of money" -> "substantial funds"
Explanation: "Substantial funds" is more precise and formal than "a lot of money," which is somewhat colloquial and vague for academic writing.
"In contrast, cinema was the least favored kind of advertisement." -> "In contrast, cinema was the least preferred advertising medium."
Explanation: "Advertising medium" is a more specific and formal term than "kind of advertisement," and "least preferred" is more precise than "least favored."
"expensed the same amount of money" -> "allocated the same budget"
Explanation: "Allocated the same budget" is more specific and formal than "expensed the same amount of money," which is somewhat informal and imprecise.
"Futhemore" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is the correct spelling and is more formal than "Futhemore."
"least on Cinena & Outdoor" -> "least on Cinema and Outdoor"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "Cinema" and uses "and" instead of "&" for clarity and formality.
"specially Cetirizine which allocated 5 millions of dollars than Vaux" -> "particularly Cetirizine, which allocated $5 million more than Vaux"
Explanation: "Particularly" is more formal than "specially," and "allocated $5 million more than Vaux" corrects the grammar and adds clarity.
"Vaux" -> "Vauxhall"
Explanation: "Vauxhall" is the correct name of the company, whereas "Vaux" is likely a typographical error.
"did not allocate on this kind of advertisement" -> "did not allocate funds for this type of advertising"
Explanation: "Allocate funds for this type of advertising" is more precise and formal than "allocate on this kind of advertisement."

These changes enhance the formality and precision of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview of the information in the table. The essay highlights some key features, such as the fact that all four companies invested a lot of money in TV advertisements and that cinema was the least favored kind of advertisement. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that Renault spent the largest amount of money in advertising, but this is not entirely accurate as Cetirizine spent more on TV advertising.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the information in the table. The essay could also be improved by focusing on the key features of the data and providing more accurate information. For example, the essay could state that Cetirizine spent the most on TV advertising, rather than saying that Renault spent the largest amount of money in advertising. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and avoiding unnecessary repetition.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to compare the expenditures of the four car companies, the connections between ideas are not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent; for instance, phrases like "in contrast" and "regarding the other two companies" are used, but their effectiveness is undermined by awkward phrasing and repetition. Additionally, there are instances of unclear referencing, such as "the two most ad forms" which could confuse the reader. Paragraphing is attempted but lacks logical structure, contributing to the overall lack of coherence.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearer logical progression between ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Additionally, improving the clarity of references and reducing redundancy will help create a more fluid reading experience. Lastly, organizing the information into well-defined paragraphs with distinct themes will aid in presenting a more coherent argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the necessary information regarding the expenditures of the car companies, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "expensed" instead of "spent," and inaccuracies in spelling, such as "Futhemore" and "Cinena." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the characteristics of Band 5.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure correct spelling and word formation. Additionally, using synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition and improve the overall fluency of the essay. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission would also be beneficial.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. While there are some accurate structures, frequent grammatical errors and issues with punctuation are present, which can cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "the kind of advertisement which the four companies expensed the same amount of money" are awkwardly constructed. Additionally, errors such as "Futhemore" instead of "Furthermore" and "Cinena" instead of "Cinema" detract from clarity and accuracy. The overall communication is hindered by these errors, aligning the essay with the criteria for Band 5.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence forms to demonstrate flexibility in grammar.
Error Correction: Proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to ensure that sentences are error-free and clear.
Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to improve the overall readability of the essay.
Clarity and Precision: Use more precise vocabulary and phrases to convey ideas clearly and effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table illustrates the advertising expenditures of four automobile producers in the United Kingdom in 2002. Overall, all four car companies invested significantly in TV advertisements, while cinema advertising was the least favored option. Among the companies, Renault spent the largest amount on advertising. Additionally, radio was the medium on which all four companies allocated the same amount of money.

In general, Renault spent more on advertising than Rover. Renault had the two highest expenditure categories, which were TV and press, at 59 million dollars and 45 million dollars, respectively, compared to Rover’s 45 million dollars and 38 million dollars. Furthermore, Renault and Rover both spent the same amount on radio, at 15 million dollars, and both companies allocated the least to cinema and outdoor advertising.

Regarding the other two companies, Vauxhall and Cetirizine, both spent the majority of their budget on TV, with Cetirizine allocating 5 million dollars more than Vauxhall. Moreover, the two producers spent the same amount on radio, at 15 million dollars. In terms of cinema advertising, Vauxhall spent 5 million dollars, while Cetirizine did not allocate any funds to this type of advertisement.