To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.

How true is this statement?

Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

In the realm of education, the role of a nutritious food portion in facilitating study performance among children is often discussed in varied media platforms. While some may argue that academic achievement is solely dependent on academic instruction, it is evident that a balanced meal significantly contributes to a child’s ability to acquire knowledge well academically. However, the veracity of this phenomenon depends on various contributory factors.
First and foremost, a wholesome meal is of paramount importance in early developmental stages. Scientifically, a nourishing diet consisting of vegetables, meat, fish, fruits and dairy products, known as a source of nutrients, minerals and vitamins. If youngsters consume these standard meals, they will be likely to fortify the functions of crucial organs, comprising optimal brain function. Especially, those who ingest insufficiently the mentioned elements, will suffer from some inevitable diseases ranging from nutrient deficiency to stunted growth. Taking malnutrition as a prevalent example, the immune system of patients will get worse day by day. In consequence, teenagers will have a diminishing effect on academic outcomes.
Moreover, the responsibility for providing food for school children extends beyond the confines of the educational institution. The government, schools, and parents share this responsibility. In terms of the government, they are in charge of enacting tougher (tighter, strict) penalties with those who infringe on the regulations of supplying valuable meals for school kids. Academic institutions, playing a vital role in securing food hygiene by selecting the well-qualified food catering providers and frequently scrutinizing the whole process. Ultimately, caregivers or parents are accountable for raising awareness of a healthy lifestyle from the date of birth. In this way, they can force their offspring to eat merely high-quality food.
In conclusion, the statement that a healthy food portion is significant in phases of development holds true. Nutrition plays a pivotal role in studying performance and lifestyle. Nevertheless, serving food for school children is a collective responsibility, involving governments, schools, and caregivers. By working together, we can create an environment where every child can grasp the opportunity to thrive academically through access to nutritious meals.

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Errors and Improvements:

"in varied media platforms" -> "across diverse media platforms"
Explanation: "varied" is somewhat informal in academic writing. "Across diverse media platforms" maintains the meaning while sounding more formal and precise.
"academic achievement is solely dependent on academic instruction" -> "academic achievement relies solely on academic instruction"
Explanation: The original phrase is redundant and somewhat awkward. "Relies solely on" is a concise and formal alternative.
"balanced meal" -> "nutritious diet"
Explanation: "Balanced meal" is a bit casual for academic writing. "Nutritious diet" is a more precise and formal term.
"First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is slightly informal. "Primarily" maintains the same meaning in a more formal manner.
"Scientifically, a nourishing diet consisting of vegetables, meat, fish, fruits and dairy products, known as a source of nutrients, minerals and vitamins." -> "Scientifically, a nutritious diet comprising vegetables, meat, fish, fruits, and dairy products provides essential nutrients, minerals, and vitamins."
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and lacks clarity. Simplifying and restructuring the sentence enhances readability and academic style.
"If youngsters consume these standard meals, they will be likely to fortify the functions of crucial organs, comprising optimal brain function." -> "Consumption of these standard meals is likely to enhance the functions of crucial organs, including optimal brain function."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured and uses informal language. The suggested revision provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
"Especially, those who ingest insufficiently the mentioned elements" -> "In particular, individuals who consume insufficient amounts of these nutrients"
Explanation: "Especially" is somewhat informal in this context. "In particular" is more appropriate. Additionally, the original phrase is grammatically incorrect; the revised phrase provides a clearer and more formal expression.
"will suffer from some inevitable diseases ranging from nutrient deficiency to stunted growth" -> "may suffer from a range of inevitable diseases, including nutrient deficiencies and stunted growth"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and clarity. "May suffer from a range of inevitable diseases, including nutrient deficiencies and stunted growth" provides a more formal and precise expression.
"Taking malnutrition as a prevalent example" -> "Considering malnutrition as a prevalent example"
Explanation: "Taking" is too casual for academic writing. "Considering" is a more formal alternative.
"get worse day by day" -> "deteriorate progressively"
Explanation: "Get worse day by day" is too colloquial. "Deteriorate progressively" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"diminishing effect on academic outcomes" -> "negative impact on academic performance"
Explanation: "Diminishing effect on academic outcomes" is a bit awkward. "Negative impact on academic performance" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"tighter, strict" -> "stricter"
Explanation: "Tighter, strict" is redundant and awkward. "Stricter" is a more concise and appropriate alternative.
"well-qualified food catering providers" -> "qualified food catering vendors"
Explanation: "Well-qualified" is slightly redundant. "Qualified" suffices and maintains formality.
"frequently scrutinizing the whole process" -> "regularly scrutinizing the entire process"
Explanation: "Frequently" is somewhat informal. "Regularly" is a more formal alternative. Additionally, "the whole process" can be replaced with "the entire process" for clarity and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the prompt. It discusses the significance of healthy meals for children’s learning and development, while also exploring the responsibility for providing food to school children, attributing it to the government, schools, and parents.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the argument regarding the importance of nutritious meals in educational outcomes. Additionally, discussing potential counterarguments or nuances surrounding the responsibility for providing food could add depth to the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting the importance of nutritious meals for children’s academic performance and advocating for a shared responsibility among the government, schools, and parents.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state the stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for emphasis. Additionally, avoiding ambiguous language or statements that may introduce uncertainty about the author’s position would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, discussing the importance of nutrition in child development and the shared responsibility for providing food. However, some ideas could be further extended or supported with additional evidence or examples to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance idea development, the essay could delve deeper into the specific ways in which nutritious meals impact academic performance, providing studies or research findings to corroborate claims. Moreover, elaborating on the practical implementation of shared responsibility and its potential challenges could enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, addressing the importance of healthy meals for children’s learning and discussing the responsibility for providing food to school children. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be clarified to maintain focus.
- How to improve: To ensure coherence and relevance, the essay could use transitions more effectively to connect ideas and maintain a cohesive argument. Additionally, revisiting each paragraph to ensure it directly contributes to the main topic would help in eliminating any tangential discussions.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a coherent argument about the significance of healthy meals for children’s learning and development, and discussing the shared responsibility for providing food to school children. By incorporating more specific examples, providing additional evidence, and refining the organization of ideas, the essay could further enhance its clarity, depth, and relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that sets up the topic, followed by body paragraphs that discuss the importance of nutritious meals for children and the shared responsibility for providing food. Each paragraph presents a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved for better coherence. For example, transitioning between paragraphs could be smoother to create a more seamless progression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point, avoiding tangential discussions that may disrupt the flow of the essay. A clear and consistent structure throughout the essay will help readers follow the argument more easily.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument, which aids readability. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, such as the importance of nutritious meals or the shared responsibility for providing food. However, some paragraphs could be further developed or divided to improve clarity and coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing the responsibility of the government, schools, and parents could be split into separate paragraphs to explore each entity’s role more thoroughly.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more focused paragraphs to maintain clarity and coherence. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are organized in a logical sequence to guide the reader through the essay effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "First and foremost," "Moreover," and "In conclusion," which help signal shifts between paragraphs and sections of the essay. Additionally, pronouns such as "they" and "those" are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, enhancing clarity and cohesion. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond transitional phrases to include pronouns, conjunctions, and other linking words. This will help create a more cohesive and interconnected essay that guides the reader through the argument seamlessly. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of cohesive device usage to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including words like "facilitating," "veracity," "paramount," "fortify," "inevitable," "prevalent," "enacting," and "scrutinizing." These words contribute to a precise and varied expression of ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, try incorporating more advanced or nuanced vocabulary where possible. For example, instead of "significant," consider using "consequential," or instead of "important," use "crucial."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, such as in the phrase "a balanced meal significantly contributes to a child’s ability." However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "known as a source of nutrients, minerals, and vitamins" could be more specific by naming the nutrients, minerals, and vitamins.
- How to improve: To improve precision, aim to use specific and accurate vocabulary that clearly conveys your intended meaning. Avoid using vague or general terms where possible.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. However, there are a few errors, such as "wholesome" spelled as "wholesome," and "access" spelled as "asses." These errors do not significantly impact the overall readability or comprehension of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider using spell-checking tools and proofreading carefully before submitting your work. Additionally, practicing spelling regularly can help improve accuracy over time.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with a good range and generally precise usage. To improve further, focus on incorporating more advanced vocabulary where appropriate and ensuring spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures throughout. It utilizes complex sentences, compound sentences, and some simple sentences effectively. For instance, complex sentences like "While some may argue that academic achievement is solely dependent on academic instruction…" showcase the writer’s ability to construct sophisticated sentences. Additionally, the use of compound sentences such as "Moreover, the responsibility for providing food for school children extends beyond the confines of the educational institution" adds depth to the argument by connecting ideas logically.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex constructions, such as conditional sentences or inverted sentences, where appropriate. Additionally, varying sentence lengths can add rhythm and flow to the writing, making it more engaging for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical errors occur, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("Taking malnutrition as a prevalent example, the immune system of patients will get worse day by day") and awkward phrasing ("If youngsters consume these standard meals, they will be likely to fortify the functions of crucial organs"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("Moreover, the responsibility for providing food for school children extends beyond the confines of the educational institution").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in verb tense throughout the essay. Proofreading for awkward phrasing can help eliminate ambiguity and improve clarity. Moreover, thorough proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly regarding comma usage with introductory phrases, can enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for refinement in addressing minor errors to elevate the clarity and precision of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the realm of education, the role of nutritious meals in aiding children’s academic performance is often discussed across various media platforms. While some may argue that academic achievement depends solely on instruction, it is evident that a balanced diet significantly contributes to a child’s ability to excel academically. However, the truth of this statement depends on several factors.

First and foremost, a wholesome meal is paramount in early developmental stages. Scientifically, a nourishing diet consisting of vegetables, meat, fish, fruits, and dairy products provides essential nutrients, minerals, and vitamins. If youngsters consume these standard meals, they are likely to fortify the functions of crucial organs, including optimal brain function. Especially for those who lack these essential elements, they may suffer from various diseases, such as nutrient deficiency or stunted growth. Taking malnutrition as a prevalent example, the immune system weakens over time, leading to a negative impact on academic outcomes.

Moreover, the responsibility for providing food for school children extends beyond the educational institution. The government, schools, and parents all share this responsibility. The government is tasked with enacting stricter penalties for those who fail to adhere to regulations regarding providing nutritious meals for school children. Academic institutions play a vital role in ensuring food hygiene by selecting qualified food catering providers and regularly monitoring the entire process. Ultimately, caregivers or parents are responsible for instilling awareness of a healthy lifestyle from birth, encouraging their children to consume high-quality food.

In conclusion, the statement that a healthy food portion is significant in developmental phases holds true. Nutrition plays a pivotal role in academic performance and lifestyle. However, ensuring food provision for school children is a collective responsibility involving governments, schools, and caregivers. By collaborating, we can create an environment where every child has the opportunity to thrive academically through access to nutritious meals.