To what extent do you agree or disagree with the idea that “AI (Artificial Intelligence) may pose a threat to human beings.”? Write an essay of about 250 words to express your opinion, using specific details and examples to support your answer.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the idea that “AI (Artificial Intelligence) may pose a threat to human beings.”?
Write an essay of about 250 words to express your opinion, using specific details and examples to support your answer.

Currently, the inception of AI has profoundly reshaped various dimensions of human life, yet arouses the debate about whether this expert system may pose a menace to human beings. This is an intricate issue that necessitates a sophisticated and multifaceted perspective. While proponents of this view argue that AI can result in the invasion of privacy, opponents counter that it can aid in decision-making and addressing many issues.
On the one hand, advocates of this stance posit that AI may precipitate an array of adverse consequences relating to human privacy. Some evidence indicates that AI invades people’s privacy when using social media to facilitate personalized advertising, thereby increasing the risks of identity theft or other security breaches. This issue may lead to feelings of vulnerability and anxiety among victims. This is exemplified in the case of my father’s friend, who was hacked into his Facebook account and robbed of a large amount of money.
On the other hand, others contend that the use of AI is crucial in addressing various problems as well as well-informed decision-making. To explain, AI accelerates the process of research and provides humans with prudent approaches to various problems such as climate change, global warming, natural disasters, environmental pollution, and diseases. For example, the death toll from flooding has decreased considerably in many developed countries since the application of advanced technology.
To conclude, the question of whether AI may present a threat to humans is a complex and multifaceted issue. However, it is manifest that the pervasive embrace of this expert system has had positive effects on sensible users as well as aided in resolving major issues. As a result, AI’s transformative impact necessitates judicious employment, lest its unfavorable dimensions eclipse its boundless potential.

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Errors and Improvements:

"the inception of AI" -> "the emergence of AI"
Explanation: "Inception" refers more to the beginning or initiation of something, whereas "emergence" better captures the idea of AI coming into existence and becoming prevalent.
"yet arouses the debate" -> "yet sparks debate"
Explanation: "Arouses the debate" is a bit awkward; "sparks debate" is a more concise and idiomatic phrase.
"this expert system" -> "this technological advancement"
Explanation: While "expert system" technically refers to AI, using "technological advancement" provides a clearer and more formal description of AI.
"necessitates a sophisticated and multifaceted perspective" -> "requires a nuanced perspective"
Explanation: "Necessitates a sophisticated and multifaceted perspective" is overly complex and redundant. "Requires a nuanced perspective" conveys the same idea more concisely and effectively.
"proponents of this view" -> "advocates of this position"
Explanation: "Proponents of this view" is slightly redundant. "Advocates of this position" is a more precise and formal alternative.
"pose a menace" -> "pose a threat"
Explanation: "Menace" is slightly dramatic and informal. "Threat" is a more neutral and academic term.
"On the one hand" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "On the one hand" is a bit informal for academic writing. "Firstly" is a more formal transition phrase.
"adverse consequences" -> "negative ramifications"
Explanation: "Adverse consequences" is a common phrase, but "negative ramifications" provides a more varied vocabulary choice.
"may precipitate an array of adverse consequences" -> "can lead to various negative outcomes"
Explanation: Simplifying the language here while retaining the meaning helps improve clarity and readability.
"evidence indicates that AI invades people’s privacy" -> "evidence suggests that AI encroaches on individuals’ privacy"
Explanation: "Invades" is quite strong and might be seen as overly emotional. "Encroaches on" is a more neutral and academic term.
"facilitate personalized advertising" -> "enable targeted advertising"
Explanation: "Facilitate" is a bit informal in this context. "Enable" is a more appropriate term in academic writing.
"may lead to feelings of vulnerability and anxiety among victims" -> "can induce feelings of vulnerability and anxiety in those affected"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality.
"This is exemplified in the case of my father’s friend" -> "This is illustrated by an incident involving my father’s friend"
Explanation: Adding clarity and formality by using "illustrated by" instead of "exemplified in."
"the use of AI is crucial" -> "the utilization of AI is essential"
Explanation: "Crucial" is somewhat informal. "Utilization" and "essential" convey a more formal tone.
"To explain" -> "For instance"
Explanation: "To explain" is too casual for this context. "For instance" is a more appropriate transition in academic writing.
"AI accelerates the process of research" -> "AI expedites the research process"
Explanation: Simplifying the language without losing the meaning.
"prudent approaches" -> "sound strategies"
Explanation: "Prudent" is slightly formal and might not be the best fit here. "Sound strategies" maintains formality while being more precise.
"the question of whether AI may present a threat" -> "the inquiry into AI’s potential threats"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and formality.
"manifest" -> "evident"
Explanation: "Manifest" is a bit formal and archaic. "Evident" is a more straightforward and contemporary term.
"sensible users" -> "discerning users"
Explanation: "Sensible" is somewhat informal. "Discerning" is a more precise and sophisticated term.
"AI’s transformative impact necessitates judicious employment" -> "The transformative impact of AI necessitates careful implementation"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all aspects of the prompt. It acknowledges the complexity of the issue and presents arguments both in favor of and against the idea that AI poses a threat to human beings. The essay provides specific examples to support each perspective, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the question.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively addresses all parts of the question, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis. Encourage the writer to delve deeper into the implications of AI on privacy and decision-making, perhaps by exploring additional real-world examples or discussing counterarguments in more detail.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance on the issue, presenting arguments for both sides in a balanced manner. The introduction clearly states that the topic is complex and requires a nuanced perspective, setting the tone for an unbiased discussion. Each body paragraph presents arguments for one side of the debate, followed by a balanced conclusion that acknowledges the positive and negative impacts of AI.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, the writer could strengthen their position by providing a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. Encourage them to clearly state their personal opinion on whether AI poses a threat to human beings, which will help guide the reader through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas throughout. Each paragraph is well-developed, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Specific examples, such as the case of the father’s friend being hacked on Facebook, lend credibility to the arguments presented. The essay also extends ideas by discussing the broader implications of AI on issues like climate change and natural disasters.
- How to improve: While the essay provides strong examples and arguments, encourage the writer to further extend their ideas by considering the long-term implications of AI on society. They could explore potential future scenarios or discuss ethical considerations related to AI development and use.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, with each paragraph directly addressing the question of whether AI poses a threat to human beings. However, there are minor instances where the essay veers slightly off-topic, such as discussing the benefits of AI in addressing climate change and natural disasters. While these points are relevant to the broader discussion of AI’s impact, they could be more tightly connected to the central argument.
- How to improve: Encourage the writer to maintain a laser focus on the specific question posed in the prompt throughout the essay. While it’s important to provide context and background information, remind them to always tie their points back to the central argument regarding AI’s potential threat to humans. This will ensure that the essay remains tightly focused and cohesive.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization, with a well-structured introduction, body paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, and a conclusion summarizing the argument. Each paragraph follows a coherent sequence of ideas, transitioning smoothly from one point to the next. For instance, the essay starts by introducing the topic and presenting the opposing views, then elaborates on each perspective in separate paragraphs before concluding with a balanced summary.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider explicitly stating the essay’s main argument or thesis statement in the introduction to provide a roadmap for the reader. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, providing sufficient supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to organize ideas and develop arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as the invasion of privacy or the benefits of AI, and maintains coherence within the paragraph. Transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, aiding in the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay does use paragraphs appropriately, there is room for improvement in paragraph length and structure. Some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more depth and clarity, particularly in discussing counterarguments or providing additional examples. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability and emphasize key points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. These devices include transitional phrases (e.g., "on the one hand," "on the other hand"), pronouns for reference (e.g., "this stance," "others"), and repetition of key terms (e.g., "AI," "privacy"). Additionally, the essay uses cohesive devices within paragraphs to maintain coherence and logical progression of ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates effective use of cohesive devices, expanding the range of these devices can further improve coherence and cohesion. Consider incorporating more advanced transition words and phrases to indicate relationships between ideas (e.g., "conversely," "furthermore," "nevertheless"). Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of pronoun usage and ensure clarity in referring back to previously mentioned concepts or arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of vocabulary throughout, utilizing a range of sophisticated words and phrases to articulate ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "the inception of AI," "profoundly reshaped various dimensions," "multifaceted perspective," and "pervasive embrace of this expert system" showcase lexical diversity. The essay also incorporates specialized terms such as "personalized advertising," "identity theft," "climate change," and "natural disasters" appropriately.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a strong vocabulary, enhancing coherence by ensuring that the introduced vocabulary aligns seamlessly with the overall argumentation could further strengthen the essay. Additionally, employing synonyms or alternate phrasings occasionally to prevent repetition could enrich the lexical variety further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and concepts. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, in the phrase "the question of whether AI may present a threat to humans," replacing "present a threat" with a more specific term like "constitute a peril" could enhance precision.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider selecting words or phrases that precisely capture the intended meaning, avoiding ambiguity or vagueness. Engaging with a thesaurus or consulting specialized literature related to the topic could aid in discovering more precise vocabulary options.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally sound, with no egregious errors detracting from comprehension. However, there are a few minor instances of misspellings or typographical errors, such as "invaison" instead of "invasion" and "prudent" instead of "prudent." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but indicate a need for careful proofreading.
- How to improve: Enhancing spelling accuracy can be achieved through consistent proofreading and utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, actively learning and memorizing commonly misspelled words can contribute to improved spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, incorporating complex and compound sentences alongside simpler constructions. For instance, there are instances of complex sentences such as "This is an intricate issue that necessitates a sophisticated and multifaceted perspective" and compound sentences like "While proponents of this view argue that AI can result in the invasion of privacy, opponents counter that it can aid in decision-making and addressing many issues."
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider integrating more parallel structures, rhetorical questions, and conditional sentences. Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can add further dynamism to the prose.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy. Complex grammatical structures are utilized effectively, and errors are minimal. For instance, "AI accelerates the process of research and provides humans with prudent approaches to various problems such as climate change, global warming, natural disasters, environmental pollution, and diseases" demonstrates proper subject-verb agreement and parallelism.
- How to improve: While the essay is grammatically sound, pay attention to minor errors such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Additionally, ensure consistent and appropriate punctuation throughout the essay, particularly regarding commas and apostrophes. Proofreading carefully can help catch any overlooked errors and polish the essay further.

Bài sửa mẫu

The rise of AI has significantly altered various aspects of human life, sparking debates about its potential threat to humanity. This issue requires a nuanced perspective. While some argue that AI could compromise privacy, others believe it can enhance decision-making and address numerous challenges.

On one hand, proponents suggest that AI may jeopardize privacy. Evidence shows that AI, particularly in social media, can lead to intrusive personalized advertising, raising the risk of identity theft and security breaches. This can leave individuals feeling vulnerable, as illustrated by a personal anecdote of a friend of my father who had his Facebook account hacked, resulting in significant financial loss.

On the other hand, opponents argue that AI is indispensable for problem-solving and informed decision-making. AI expedites research processes and offers effective solutions to issues such as climate change, natural disasters, and diseases. For instance, advanced technology has notably reduced the death toll from flooding in many developed nations.

In conclusion, the impact of AI on humanity is multifaceted. While concerns about its negative implications exist, it is evident that judicious use of AI has yielded positive outcomes and aided in addressing pressing global challenges. Therefore, careful consideration of AI’s deployment is essential to harness its immense potential while mitigating any adverse effects.