what cities in the future look like

what cities in the future look like

A city of the future will have the following characteristics. First, cities in the future will have pretty good infrastructure. For example, people will not have to endure overcrowded trains during rush hour. Instead, faster trains will be built using advanced technology. Sensors and cameras will be A city of the future will have the following characteristics. First, cities in the future will have pretty good infrastructure. For example, people will not have to endure overcrowded trains during rush hour. Instead, faster trains will be built using advanced technology. Sensors and cameras will be equipped in the city center to detect traffic problems and help drivers avoid congestion. Second, this city will be a sustainable city. There are projects aimed at reducing fossil fuel consumption and finding renewable fuels for transportation. Finally, I wish tomorrow's city will be a better place to relax. City residents can stroll in city parks or ride bicycles in bike lanes. In short, a modern and environmentally friendly city is a paradise for its residents. equipped in the city center to detect traffic problems and help drivers avoid congestion. Second, this city will be a sustainable city. There are projects aimed at reducing fossil fuel consumption and finding renewable fuels for transportation. Finally, I wish tomorrow's city will be a better place to relax. City residents can stroll in city parks or ride bicycles in bike lanes. In short, a modern and environmentally friendly city is a paradise for its residents. A city of the future will have the following characteristics. First, cities in the future will have pretty good infrastructure. For example, people will not have to endure overcrowded trains during rush hour. Instead, faster trains will be built using advanced technology. Sensors and cameras will be equipped in the city center to detect traffic problems and help drivers avoid congestion. Second, this city will be a sustainable city. There are projects aimed at reducing fossil fuel consumption and finding renewable fuels for transportation. Finally, I wish tomorrow's city will be a better place to relax. City residents can stroll in city parks or ride bicycles in bike lanes. In short, a modern and environmentally friendly city is a paradise for its residents.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "pretty good" -> "excellent"
   Explanation: The phrase "pretty good" is vague and informal for academic writing. "Excellent" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

2. "will have" -> "will possess"
   Explanation: "Will have" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "will possess" to elevate the formality and precision of the language, fitting better in an academic context.

3. "faster trains" -> "more advanced public transportation systems"
   Explanation: "Faster trains" is specific to trains, which might limit the scope of the discussion. "More advanced public transportation systems" broadens the context to encompass various modes of transportation, aligning better with the general description of a city of the future.

4. "using advanced technology" -> "utilizing cutting-edge technology"
   Explanation: "Using advanced technology" is straightforward but can be enhanced by "utilizing cutting-edge technology," which conveys a higher level of sophistication and technological advancement, fitting the futuristic context better.

5. "sensors and cameras will be equipped in the city center" -> "sensors and cameras will be integrated into the city center"
   Explanation: "Equipped in" is a bit informal and less precise. "Integrated into" is more formal and accurately describes the process of incorporating technology into the city infrastructure.

6. "help drivers avoid congestion" -> "aid in mitigating traffic congestion"
   Explanation: "Help drivers avoid congestion" is straightforward but can be refined to "aid in mitigating traffic congestion," which is more formal and specific, emphasizing the proactive role of technology in addressing traffic issues.

7. "I wish tomorrow’s city will be a better place to relax" -> "it is hoped that future cities will provide a more relaxing environment"
   Explanation: "I wish" is too personal and informal for academic writing. "It is hoped" is more formal and removes the personal element, making the statement more suitable for an academic essay.

8. "stroll in city parks or ride bicycles in bike lanes" -> "take leisurely strolls in city parks or ride bicycles through designated bike lanes"
   Explanation: "Stroll" and "ride bicycles" are somewhat informal and vague. "Take leisurely strolls" and "ride bicycles through designated bike lanes" are more specific and formal, enhancing the description of recreational activities in the city.

9. "a modern and environmentally friendly city is a paradise for its residents" -> "a modern and environmentally sustainable city offers an ideal environment for its residents"
   Explanation: "A paradise" is overly emotional and colloquial for academic writing. "Offers an ideal environment" is more measured and formal, fitting the academic style better.

These changes refine the language to better suit the formal and academic tone required in the essay, enhancing clarity, precision, and appropriateness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing characteristics of future cities, such as improved infrastructure, sustainability, and recreational spaces. However, while it identifies key aspects, it does not fully explore the implications or broader context of these characteristics. For instance, the mention of advanced technology in transportation is somewhat superficial and lacks depth regarding how this technology might be implemented or its potential impact on urban life.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to elaborate on each characteristic. This could involve discussing specific technologies or policies that could lead to these improvements, as well as considering the challenges that may arise in achieving these goals. Including examples from current trends or projects could also strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that future cities will be better due to advancements in infrastructure, sustainability, and recreational spaces. However, the repetition of phrases and ideas detracts from the clarity of the position. The essay begins with a structured approach but becomes somewhat redundant, which can confuse the reader regarding the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should avoid redundancy by varying language and structure. Each paragraph should build on the previous one, reinforcing the main argument without unnecessary repetition. A clear thesis statement at the beginning and a concise conclusion summarizing the main points could also help solidify the position.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about future cities, such as sustainable practices and improved infrastructure. However, the support for these ideas is limited. For example, the mention of renewable fuels lacks specific examples or details about how these initiatives might be realized. The ideas are stated but not sufficiently extended or substantiated.
  • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each idea presented. This could include statistics, case studies, or references to existing projects that align with the proposed characteristics of future cities. Expanding on how these ideas could be implemented or their potential benefits would also strengthen the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the characteristics of future cities. However, the repetitive nature of the text can lead to a loss of focus, as the same ideas are reiterated without adding new insights. This can distract from the main topic and make the essay feel less cohesive.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph introduces a new idea or perspective related to the topic. Avoiding repetition and instead building on previous points will help keep the discussion relevant and engaging. Additionally, outlining the essay before writing could help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each part contributes to the overall argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it would benefit from deeper exploration, clearer structure, and more specific examples to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by introducing the topic and outlining the characteristics of future cities. Each point is introduced with a transition phrase (e.g., "First," "Second," "Finally"), which helps guide the reader through the argument. However, the repetition of sentences and phrases indicates a lack of refinement in organizing the information, which detracts from the overall coherence. For instance, the phrase "A city of the future will have the following characteristics" appears multiple times, disrupting the logical flow.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should avoid redundancy by ensuring each point is unique and builds on the previous one. Additionally, using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main idea and how it relates to the overall argument. Incorporating linking words and phrases that connect ideas more fluidly (e.g., "Moreover," "In addition") could also strengthen the logical progression.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, as it presents multiple ideas in a single block of text. This not only makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument but also diminishes the impact of each point. Each characteristic of the future city should ideally be developed in its own paragraph, allowing for a more thorough exploration of each idea.
  • How to improve: The writer should separate each characteristic into distinct paragraphs. For example, the first paragraph could focus solely on infrastructure, detailing examples and implications. The second paragraph could address sustainability, and the third could discuss recreational spaces. This separation will enhance readability and allow for a more in-depth discussion of each point.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "First," "Second," and "Finally," which help in signaling the order of ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and the repetition of phrases detracts from the overall cohesion of the essay. The use of cohesive devices should not only indicate sequence but also clarify relationships between ideas (e.g., cause and effect, contrast).
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "In contrast" when discussing sustainability versus traditional practices, or "As a result" when explaining the benefits of improved infrastructure, can enhance the connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating pronouns or synonyms can help reduce redundancy and improve the flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of their essay, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to urban development and sustainability, such as "infrastructure," "overcrowded trains," "advanced technology," and "renewable fuels." However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and repetitive, with phrases like "a city of the future" and "cities in the future" being used multiple times without variation. This limits the overall lexical diversity of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "cities in the future," alternatives like "future urban environments" or "next-generation cities" could be employed. Additionally, introducing terms related to smart technology or urban planning could further enrich the vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "pretty good infrastructure" is vague and lacks the specificity needed for a more formal essay. The use of "wish" in "I wish tomorrow’s city will be a better place to relax" is also informal and may not convey the intended meaning effectively.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim for more formal and specific language. Instead of "pretty good infrastructure," phrases like "robust infrastructure" or "efficient transportation systems" would be more appropriate. Additionally, replacing "I wish" with "It is hoped that" or "It is anticipated that" would enhance the formality and clarity of the statement.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring spelling mistakes present in the text. However, the essay does contain some repetitive phrases and sentences, which could lead to confusion and detract from the overall quality.
  • How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue practicing spelling through reading and writing exercises. Additionally, proofreading the essay to eliminate repetitive content and ensure clarity will contribute to a more polished final product. Engaging in spelling quizzes or using spelling apps may also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs relevant vocabulary, improvements in lexical variety, precision, and clarity will help elevate the band score in the Lexical Resource category.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay primarily employs simple and compound sentences, which limits the variety of structures. For instance, sentences like "A city of the future will have the following characteristics" and "City residents can stroll in city parks or ride bicycles in bike lanes" are straightforward and repetitive. The use of phrases such as "First," "Second," and "Finally" indicates a basic organizational structure, but it does not showcase a range of complex sentence forms that could enhance the writing. The essay lacks subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings, which are crucial for demonstrating a wider grammatical range.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "Faster trains will be built using advanced technology," the writer could say, "By utilizing advanced technology, cities will be able to build faster trains that significantly reduce overcrowding." Additionally, varying the sentence openings and using transitional phrases can help create a more engaging flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "Sensors and cameras will be equipped in the city center" is awkwardly constructed; it would be more precise to say "Sensors and cameras will be installed in the city center." Moreover, there are instances of repetition, such as the first few sentences being duplicated. Punctuation is generally correct, but the lack of variety in sentence structure leads to a monotonous reading experience.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to eliminate redundancy and ensure clarity. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help avoid awkward constructions. Additionally, using punctuation marks effectively, such as commas to separate clauses or lists, can improve readability. Engaging in exercises that emphasize subject-verb agreement and tense consistency will further strengthen grammatical skills.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and improve grammatical accuracy through careful revision and practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

A city of the future will possess several excellent characteristics. First, cities in the future will have well-developed infrastructure. For example, people will not have to endure overcrowded trains during rush hour. Instead, faster trains will be constructed utilizing cutting-edge technology. Sensors and cameras will be integrated into the city center to detect traffic problems and aid in mitigating traffic congestion.

Second, this city will be a sustainable city. There are numerous projects aimed at reducing fossil fuel consumption and finding renewable fuels for transportation.

Finally, it is hoped that tomorrow’s city will provide a more relaxing environment. City residents will be able to take leisurely strolls in city parks or ride bicycles through designated bike lanes.

In short, a modern and environmentally sustainable city offers an ideal environment for its residents.