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What do people usually do to keep fit?

What do people usually do to keep fit?

In today’s world, staying fit is very important for health. Many people do different activities and follow healthy habits to keep fit. This essay will look at some common ways people maintain their fitness, including exercise, healthy eating, and rest.
Firstly, doing exercise is important to stay fit. Many people go to the gym or enjoy outdoor activities like jogging and biking. Doing housework also helps keep them active
. Secondly, having a healthy diet helps people to stay fit. People should eat more fruits and vegetables and less fast food and sugary drinks. Besides, drinking about two liters of water each day helps keep you healthy.
Finally, getting enough sleep is essential for good health. It helps your body to provide energy for the next day. Relaxing activities like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends .
In conclusion, staying fit means exercising, eating healthy, and sleeping well. These habits help you feel good and stay healthy.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In today’s world" -> "In the contemporary world"
    Explanation: "In the contemporary world" is a more formal and precise phrase that enhances the academic tone of the essay.

  2. "staying fit is very important" -> "maintaining fitness is crucial"
    Explanation: "Maintaining fitness is crucial" uses more formal vocabulary and emphasizes the importance of fitness in a more academic tone.

  3. "Many people do different activities and follow healthy habits" -> "Numerous individuals engage in various activities and adopt healthy habits"
    Explanation: "Numerous individuals engage in various activities and adopt healthy habits" uses more precise and formal language, enhancing the academic style of the essay.

  4. "This essay will look at" -> "This essay will examine"
    Explanation: "Examine" is a more academic term than "look at," which is too informal for academic writing.

  5. "doing exercise" -> "engaging in physical exercise"
    Explanation: "Engaging in physical exercise" is more specific and formal, suitable for an academic context.

  6. "Many people go to the gym or enjoy outdoor activities like jogging and biking" -> "Numerous individuals frequent the gym or participate in outdoor activities such as jogging and cycling"
    Explanation: "Numerous individuals frequent the gym or participate in outdoor activities such as jogging and cycling" uses more precise and formal language, improving the academic tone.

  7. "doing housework also helps keep them active" -> "performing household chores also contributes to their physical activity"
    Explanation: "Performing household chores also contributes to their physical activity" is more specific and formal, aligning better with academic standards.

  8. "having a healthy diet helps people to stay fit" -> "adhering to a healthy diet facilitates fitness"
    Explanation: "Adhering to a healthy diet facilitates fitness" uses more formal language and a more precise verb, enhancing the academic quality of the sentence.

  9. "People should eat more fruits and vegetables and less fast food and sugary drinks" -> "Individuals should consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer fast foods and sugary beverages"
    Explanation: "Individuals should consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer fast foods and sugary beverages" uses more precise and formal vocabulary, suitable for an academic essay.

  10. "Besides, drinking about two liters of water each day helps keep you healthy" -> "Furthermore, consuming approximately two liters of water daily contributes to overall health"
    Explanation: "Furthermore, consuming approximately two liters of water daily contributes to overall health" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone of the statement.

  11. "getting enough sleep is essential for good health" -> "sufficient sleep is vital for optimal health"
    Explanation: "Sufficient sleep is vital for optimal health" uses more precise and formal language, enhancing the academic quality of the statement.

  12. "It helps your body to provide energy for the next day" -> "It enables the body to replenish energy for the subsequent day"
    Explanation: "It enables the body to replenish energy for the subsequent day" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better.

  13. "Relaxing activities like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends" -> "Relaxing activities such as watching television with friends"
    Explanation: "Relaxing activities such as watching television with friends" corrects the grammatical errors and uses more formal language, improving the overall formality of the sentence.

  14. "staying fit means exercising, eating healthy, and sleeping well" -> "maintaining fitness involves exercising, adhering to a healthy diet, and obtaining adequate sleep"
    Explanation: "Maintaining fitness involves exercising, adhering to a healthy diet, and obtaining adequate sleep" uses more precise and formal language, aligning with academic standards.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and academic appropriateness of the essay, making it more suitable for scholarly or formal contexts.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying three main activities that contribute to fitness: exercise, healthy eating, and rest. However, it lacks depth in exploring these activities. For instance, while it mentions going to the gym and outdoor activities, it does not elaborate on the benefits of these exercises or provide examples of how they can be incorporated into daily life. Additionally, the mention of housework as a form of exercise is somewhat vague and could be better explained.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should delve deeper into each activity. For example, it could discuss different types of exercises (e.g., strength training, cardio) and their specific benefits. Including statistics or studies about the impact of healthy eating or sleep on fitness could also enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a general position on the importance of fitness and the activities that contribute to it. However, the position is not strongly articulated throughout the essay. The transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt, particularly in the section discussing sleep, where the sentence structure becomes unclear.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the essay should include a thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points to be discussed. Additionally, using transition words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Moreover") can help create a smoother flow between ideas and reinforce the overall argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are basic and lack sufficient support. For instance, the section on healthy eating mentions fruits and vegetables but does not explain why they are beneficial or how they contribute to fitness. The mention of drinking water is also brief and lacks elaboration on its importance.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the essay should provide specific examples and explanations. For instance, it could discuss how regular exercise improves cardiovascular health or how a balanced diet can prevent obesity. Including personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios could also make the points more relatable and engaging.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on activities that help maintain fitness. However, there are moments when the writing becomes slightly off-topic, particularly in the discussion of sleep, where the phrase "hanging out and watching TV with a group of friends" seems irrelevant to the main focus of fitness.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the essay should ensure that all examples and explanations directly relate to fitness. It would be beneficial to avoid including unrelated activities and instead emphasize how rest and relaxation contribute to overall fitness and recovery.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should aim to provide a more comprehensive exploration of the activities mentioned, maintain a clear and consistent position, support ideas with specific examples, and stay focused on the topic throughout. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding on ideas will also help meet the requirements for a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of fitness, which helps maintain focus. For example, the first paragraph discusses exercise, the second focuses on diet, and the third highlights the importance of sleep. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the shift from discussing exercise to diet feels abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing exercise, you could introduce the next paragraph with a phrase like, "In addition to physical activity, maintaining a balanced diet is crucial for overall fitness." This would create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, making it easy for the reader to follow. However, the third paragraph lacks a complete thought, as it ends abruptly with "like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends," which detracts from its effectiveness.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed and concludes with a complete thought. For the third paragraph, clarify the sentence by specifying the types of relaxing activities and their benefits. For example, you could revise it to say, "Relaxing activities such as spending time with friends or watching TV can also contribute to mental well-being, which is essential for overall fitness."
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," which help to organize the points being made. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "Besides" is used effectively, but more varied devices could enhance the overall cohesiveness.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, you could use "Moreover," "In addition," or "Furthermore" to introduce new points, and "On the other hand" or "Conversely" when discussing contrasting ideas. This variety will make the essay more engaging and improve its overall coherence.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to fitness and health, such as "exercise," "healthy habits," "fruits and vegetables," and "sleep." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "stay fit" and "healthy." The use of synonyms or more varied expressions could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating a broader range of vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "stay fit," you could use alternatives like "maintain physical fitness," "enhance well-being," or "promote health." Additionally, using more specific terms related to fitness, such as "cardiovascular activities" or "nutritional choices," would enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its message, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "doing exercise" is less common than simply saying "exercising." Additionally, the sentence "Relaxing activities like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends" is awkward and unclear, which detracts from the overall clarity.
    • How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by using established phrases. Instead of "doing exercise," use "exercising." Clarify the sentence about relaxing activities by rephrasing it to something like "Engaging in relaxing activities, such as spending time with friends or watching television, is also beneficial." This will enhance clarity and precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling and grammatical errors that affect its overall quality. For instance, "Tv" should be "TV," and "group of friends" should be preceded by "a" to read "a group of friends." Additionally, the phrase "like or hanging out" appears to have a typographical error or missing words, leading to confusion.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, practice proofreading your work before submission. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, consider using spell-check tools or apps that focus on grammar and spelling. Familiarizing yourself with common spelling rules and frequently misspelled words in English can also be beneficial.

By addressing these areas for improvement, you can enhance your lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Many people go to the gym") and compound sentences ("Doing housework also helps keep them active"). However, the range is limited, and there are few complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the writing. For example, the sentence "Besides, drinking about two liters of water each day helps keep you healthy" could be expanded to include a subordinate clause, which would provide more information and complexity.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include dependent clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Many people go to the gym," you could say, "Although many people go to the gym, others prefer outdoor activities like jogging and biking." This not only adds variety but also connects ideas more effectively.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, the phrase "like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends" is unclear and lacks proper structure. Additionally, "Tv" should be capitalized as "TV," and "with group of friends" should be "with a group of friends." There are also instances of run-on sentences, such as "Doing housework also helps keep them active." The period after "active" is misplaced and should be removed to connect the thought more clearly.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practicing sentence combining can also help in creating clearer and more grammatically correct sentences. For example, revising "Relaxing activities like or hanging out and watching Tv with group of friends" to "Relaxing activities, such as hanging out and watching TV with a group of friends, are also beneficial" would improve clarity and correctness.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, maintaining fitness is crucial for overall health. Numerous individuals engage in various activities and adopt healthy habits to keep fit. This essay will examine some common ways people maintain their fitness, including engaging in physical exercise, adhering to a healthy diet, and obtaining adequate sleep.

Firstly, engaging in physical exercise is important to stay fit. Many people frequent the gym or participate in outdoor activities such as jogging and cycling. Performing household chores also contributes to their physical activity.

Secondly, adhering to a healthy diet facilitates fitness. Individuals should consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer fast foods and sugary beverages. Furthermore, consuming approximately two liters of water daily contributes to overall health.

Finally, sufficient sleep is vital for optimal health. It enables the body to replenish energy for the subsequent day. Relaxing activities, such as watching television with friends, also play a role in maintaining well-being.

In conclusion, maintaining fitness involves exercising, adhering to a healthy diet, and obtaining adequate sleep. These habits help individuals feel good and stay healthy.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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